vent blog

just ignore.

[hella-kitty6669]

It only happens if it doesn't matter. It comes without effort.

[lakrimasx-deactivated20240622]

i can’t even cry properly anymore

wtf is wrong with me

[n0wheret0run]

never ending desire to die

[disorderrd]

[stay-close]

“I hope that someday, somebody wants to hold you for twenty minutes straight, and that’s all they do. They don’t pull away. They don’t look at your face. They don’t try to kiss you. All they do is wrap you up in their arms, without an ounce of selfishness in it.”

— Unknown

[delusionalanddown-deactivated20]

you know you're in a dark place when you can't even enjoy music anymore

[fucklife101]

It really sucks.

[howtoescapethis]

[fucklife101]

No matter how much I try to change, it never works.

[im--better-than-you]

[honeypleasejustkillme]

i wish i had the energy to end it rn

[honeypleasejustkillme]

i just want to be held until i stop hurting. i want to feel safe, loved and protected. being alive hurts so much..

[vanish]

(x)

[nocountryforcismen]

my favorite part of having a great day is when i get so so depressed because of it for literally no reason :)

realizing that ill never be a person with lots of friends who invite me to do stuff no matter how hard I want it or work at being an outgoing and nice person ill always be a fucking loser and people may find me nice but they'll never want to be my friend and someday the friends that I do have will leave and ill never be able to make a new friend and then I'll be completely alone. I wish I could just kill myself now and get it over with but im at my friends house for spring break so I can't do it here but it so hard knowing that even tho she's one of my best best friends im just one of many friends to her. I wish I could make friends I dont want to be lonely and I think I'm pleasant to be around even if I'm maybe not the most exciting to hang out with yet nobody ever wants to be friends. I'm actively trying to be nice and make conversation to her friends even tho we'll never see eachother again and its like they couldn't care less. idk what I'm doing wrong but I'll probably never get it right. I should never have been born I wish I was dead.

[blurrade]

[duaddityofman]

[nocountryforcismen]

it's getting to the point where I don't even wanna go outside I hate my body I'm so so ugly I'm so huge and my posture just makes me look like a hulking giant none of my clothes look good on me I feel like im masquerading as a woman I feel like a huge fake and like everyone can tell I don't belong I feel very disconnected from humanity and I just wish I was normal. it's only gonna get worse when I study abroad in the fall everyone is gonna clock me as the typical fat ugly American with no fashion sense and isn't fluent in the language maybe I should just kill myself now so I don't have to deal with the humiliation cuz rn I'm gonna fail my classes and nothing is gonna work out and I'm so stressed I wish I was done with college and I could just work And not have to worry about any of this shit fuck I wish I was dead

[nocountryforcismen]

today is my birthday I turned 21 and I just feel so empty. I thought I'd be really excited to finally be able to buy alcohol nd shit but I really don't care im almost scared to and I didn't have a party I only have a few friends and only one person made plans it feels like nobody cares about me and I'm such a major fuck up I wish I'd just die cuz I can't change even though I want to ill never know what to say or socialize correctly I'm just not meant to be alive I wish I knew how to be an outgoing charismatic person but im just too awkward and everyone can tell that im so weird but they wont tell me I wish I could move somewhere completely new so that nobody would know me but I'd still be the same cringe fuck up I wish I was dead so bad I hate everything I wish I had friends to celebrate my 21st with I wish people cared but it will never get better no matter how hard I try. I've been trying to do the radio at my college for years and I was supposed to do my first show today and everyone forgot and nobody showed up to unlock the door. nobody gives a shit about me not even on my fucking birthday god I wish even just one person loved me but im just too fucked up to be lovable. I wish I was dead so so so so much what did I do to deserve this I really try to go outside of my comfort zone and text first and make lots of plans with ppl so that im included but nobody seems to see me or care about me how tf do I do anything. maybe I should stop trying.

[nocountryforcismen]

i’m actually really scared for my birthday (it’s in a few days) i’m just not sure I’m ready I feel like I haven’t done anything and that time is running out for me to do something with my life idk