My truth
Let us lie to ourselves. Everyday. Let us keep telling ourselves that things will get better, that struggles will make you stronger. Let us all keep pretending that we have our shit together when we don't. You know what's funny? It doesn't help. Not even the slightest bit. Everyday that I tell myself I'm gonna do better and things will change, they don't. Everyday that I tell myself I'm fine, I break more and more inside. Every day that I try my hardest to be the best person that I could be, the best role model that I could be for my daughter, at the end of the day I still look at myself in the mirror and I just see someone who is a disgrace to her own family, I disgrace to humans. A fuck up messed up person who has nothing to show for herself. And you know what is the honest truth I don't give a fuck about anyone else's opinions I don't care if you think I'm a nice person or a good mom your opinion doesn't fucking matter to me your thoughts of who I am doesn't mean anything. You know who's thoughts and opinions matter the most, is yourself, because if you can't look at yourself in the mirror at the end of the day and genuinely have a smile on your face because you are proud of who you are then you don't love yourself. But yet society puts out the sadness or depression and anything that has a negative impact on people. If you're going through struggles, or hard times, society doesn't give a fuck, just wants you to pick yourself back up and tell yourself it's OK, society just want you to lie to yourself because they think they'll make everything better to pretend that nothing ever happened and that being sad and crying is such a taboo thing. In this world you don't cry because if you cry you're a pussy. In this world nobody wants to be friends with someone who's depressed or sad and in fact society wants you to look at people with mental illnesses as if they're fucking crazy people shaming them and damming them to mental institutions and going about your day as if they never existed. In this world the only emotion people want to see is happy, no matter what you're going through people don't give a fuck unless you're happy. People want to see you being successful, you have to have the looks, positive outgoing attitude, money... people don't want to be friends with people like me who may be a little unstable, maybe a little too emotionally damaged, people who are just maybe a little mentally insane because they go through the same shit over and over again. It's very ironic the fact that everyone wants you to be happy and cheerful all the time, but look around, this world is nothing but darkness filled with liars and cheaters and haters, in fact we all are sinners, every inch of this world is full of darkness.. but in this world, this made up world that people, that society has created, darkness and sadness doesn't exist so you must ignore it along with anyone or anything that deals with it.
