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Don’t Disappear

People often ask what they should say to someone with cancer, especially since I’ve written quite a bit about what not to say. The ones who ask say they’re afraid they’ll say the wrong thing. Afraid they’ll make us cry. Afraid they’ll remind us of something we’re desperately trying to forget. The truth is almost painfully simple: it’s rarely about finding the perfect words, it’s about refusing…

Don’t Disappear

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Pharmaceutical advertising

The Emotional Manipulation in Pharmaceutical Advertising

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Facing Denials and Decisions with Incomplete Information

One of the often hidden burdens of living with terminal cancer is that the decisions never stop. People imagine the hard part is getting the diagnosis or hearing the word progression or running out of treatment options. And yes, those moments are devastating. But there is another kind of burden that receives far less attention: the uncertainty of having to make decisions while standing in the…

Facing Denials and Decisions with Incomplete Information

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Nine Year Metaversary

Nine (9) years is a strange country to inhabit when you were once told you might only have months. Time changes shape when it is measured not in vacations or promotions or retirement plans, but in scan dates, infusion schedules, pathology reports, and the quiet calculations you do before every holiday, every birthday, every milestone, every ordinary day. Nine (9) years of living with terminal…

Nine Year Metaversary

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Sharing my story

Building Connections Through Photography and Adversity

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Well meaning advice

There is something about serious illness that seems to transform ordinary people into experts. The moment a diagnosis enters the room, advice follows close behind, bustling and relentless, carrying smoothies and slogans and optimism like talismans against mortality. Everyone suddenly has a philosophy. A cure. A mindset adjustment. A story about someone’s cousin who “beat it” by drinking green…

Well meaning advice

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Dark nights of the Soul when a dear friend has died

There is a particular darkness that arrives after a dear friend dies. Not the darkness of the death itself. Not the darkness of the phone call, the text message, the hospice update, the social media announcement, or the funeral. These mechanics of the death process come without warning, but you can handle these parts in community, even when the loss is not a local friend. The darkness I am…

Dark nights of the Soul when a dear friend has died

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Remembering Dr Amy Beumer

Remembering Dr. Amy Beumer, 1978-2026

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How We’re Loved

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Brave

"You're so Brave"

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In grief, my love, look for the daffodils

“In grief, my love, look for the daffodils” a poem by Becky Helmsley

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The Burden of Honesty in Suffering

The Burden of Honesty in Suffering

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Shit we deal with — Time Toxicity

Recently a fellow member of the Live from Stage 4 podcast team, Dr. Jill Tirabassi, recorded an episode reviewing a study examining the Time Burden in Patients With Metastatic Breast and Ovarian Cancer from Clinic and Home Demands (https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC12709373/) and since cancer care feels like a full time job to me, especially during times of progression, I decided to…

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Cancer Fatigue, the Elephant in the room

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Managing Chemotherapy Induced Nausea and Vomiting (CINV)

Managing Chemotherapy Induced Nausea and Vomiting (CINV)

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Holding Healthcare Accountable as a Patient

Holding Healthcare Accountable as a Patient

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Back in the Infusion Chair

After recently experiencing bone-only progression on scans and perhaps some developing liver mets again based on results of ctDNA testing too small to be seen on imaging, I had to choose a new line of treatment and the daunting challenge revealed how few options I have left. Yes, the medical oncologists still try to give hope by telling me how many options there are approved as standard of care…

Back in the Infusion Chair