Leon Abercost

Subliminal messages of passion flow through the words of this grotesque beast. Follow me into the unknown and experience how in depth writers can really be.

[noirlogic]

I was attacked in public today by a group men and women. I didn't judge them all I did was do the normal thing of gee I wonder how they. And in typical man behavior I subconsciously began to look for the cutest girl in the group. (What? Does that make me a monster?!?) I continued along my way to the store to go buy some groceries. No big deal. I noticed the group again, thought hmm. Sure whatever. I made my way to my car and then one of the guys from the group was right behind me. He greeted me and me being me. (Somewhat of a hermit but all the same respectful) I greeted him back. He was very honest and out right. He called me cute and asked for my number. I was flattered really that you know someone digs me like that, But I told him. I am sorry, but I don't feel confortable giving you my number. I can't look at the guy anymore. He takes a hint and walks away. I let him down easy. At least I hope so. I fiddled around with bags and then I noticed the cute girl I was staring at was marching toward me. At this point I was alarmed. Why are people approaching me out of the blue, I don't like this. I greet her nervously as I set the last of my things down. She doesn't say anything. I am intimidated by this really. I stare at her back and I ask well can I help you? She asks me angrily. Did you turn down my friend? I look over to her friends and I notice that the cute guy that asked me for my number was actually crying into the arms of another girl. I said well yeah, I didn't mean to make him cry you know. That's the honest truth I felt bad because well damn I hurt someone's feelings. She gives me a Stern look and says go out with my friend you jerk, you owe him for his tears. At this point I am agitated. I say listen. I don't know what you expect out of me. I mean he is a pretty cute dude And all, but I don't want to go out with him, I am not gay, and I don't know him. She is stunned buy this. You aren't gay! She screams loud enough for people in the park in lot to hear. I nod slow and sure. Yeah I am straight. She gives me this disgusted look like I haven't showered in weeks or something. Are you sure? She tells me. Maybe your bi? Her friends begin to make her way to me. And I really don't like where this is going. She starts to say something like you are scrum of the earth and I bet you wanna fuck the shit out of me. (Which isn't far from the truth. I just have a role of getting to know romantic interests first before I have sex with them) I shake my head no. I ask her why are you doing this to me! I don't like where this is going. Then her group are on me. They begin to lecture me over me being straight and being unaccepting of gays and lesbians and everything in between. Then they get violent. They begin to slap me around And call me scum. I don't mind the torture. The are doing this because they need to feel better about themselves. After an eternity they stopped. I'm scratched and bruised I can't see out of my left eye. I tell them. Listen. I am the kind of person that accepts people for who they are your lifestyle Is yours. I am not judging. I never did. I am straight because I know my preference. That is women. They hiss at this savagely. Your preference is dudes. That's cool and all that's your life. I look over at the cute girl. And I say your life style whatever it is, is cool with me. I don't see why we have to get violent over this. The cute guy that hit on me interrupts me. I don't believe a word you are saying. You are gay and you know it. I nod my head. No, I'm not. I am straight and you are intolerant of my choice of being me. They still don't get it. No I won't press charges even after they left me within inches of losing consciousness. If this is how they have to feel empowered then I am glad it was me that they attacked and not someone who is intolerant of life styles.

[noirlogic]

Solo soy yo con mi modo de pensar

Me extrano todo las cosas buenas. Y todo las memorias que yo me perdi. Soy triste porgue las sonrisas que yo veo todo las dias ya se fue. Y no se va a regresar. Nunca.

[noirlogic]

Random thought of the day. How many bridges can be burned before you as a person cares?

[noirlogic]

"Ushio" coming and going

And it seems like my doomed life is finally settling down. I grasped and clutched at the worn down walls and found jagged holes for which to hoist myself. I even did the impossible and asked for help. I came out only just alive and in the mood to socialize because in the end. We are only human. And that is something we need. Each other. It's good to be on the path to Recovery denizens of Tumblr. Thank you for holding this information for me.

[noirlogic]

It's actually happening now.

I preach memento mori all the time and I tell you time and time again it will happen But just not yet. That's what I live by. But the whole purpose of this post is to just bring this new point to light. I can't believe it's actually happening now.

[noirlogic]

My Hourglass

This is in no fact fiction. Its just how my dialect and comes across same goes for my diction. The point? The tragedy never ceases to craze and amaze me. The drama gave me white hair You see. I feel so much pressure that everything I see is fabricated and hazy. I am being screamed at and persecuted for being lazy. But no I justify it by tell you you don't understand your just crazy. I wish I could go back to a simpler time When we had Clementine and talked about who were our Valentine. But alas it is isn't that simple. You see me as an anomaly, a ripple In the seams, So you tug and tug at me like tattered old jeans. The jeans rip into pieces What does that tell you about me? My hourglass is falling The end is calling Why? Because of stupid fighting and arguing. This isn't spite this is a matter of speculation from My side. And opinion other than yours. Your hurting me with your words. And the action I take Is while be from the words you tell me. I am going to die soon. I love you all denizens of Tumblr. That is all -Efren Ramon Bautista

[noirlogic]

My options. The joy >.>

It's the greatest feeling to know that your family despises everything you try to put in. I'm just to different for them to comprehend. I have the BIGGEST inferiority complex. So when I hear what they said to me individually and as a group. Oh yeah. You better believe what I say next. Sorry for being a screw up you fucking assholes. So I have two options. Suicide, because Yes the depression is there and the stress I let them cause me is very much unbearable. Two, escape. Escape into the wind live in the van that they absolutely wanted to not get for me And find small odd jobs in the community while I live in this van because I don't have any friends to rely on. I'm 18 years old. I'm in a prison of I can't. I'm glad I'm not gay, because I'm sure they would have fucking killed me >.>

[noirlogic]

There are bad people everywhere. That is a squeamish thought I have on a daily basis. Yes I have checked my psychosis. No it isn't Insanity I plead. Its a rough look at reality. Its rough all over. And it looks like the big issues are starting to manifest at home. I am worried. I have voiced my opinion. I am very worried. When will it all die down. For now I will smoke and contemplate silently.

[noirlogic]

I am well aware These dead pan stare Look me down They even begin to make me frown I am well aware they never care These dead pan stare Look me down Taking everything even my personal happy crown I am well aware Dead pan stare They want me over there They push me down Over tuft of grass and ground I am well aware You dead pan stare You never cared They force me down Head under water. They watch me drown

[noirlogic]

I have yet another depressing thoughts. That the words elude me. This is how I feel. The space in between. The depth of the pathetic archetype I refuse to accept. I refuse every bit of myself. Hypocritical. I preach and praise self acceptance. By here I am. Despising myself. I am nothing good. Really. I have nothing worth a Damon mentioning because it obviously didn't mean much or it was intended to be heard by other people. I don't like myself. I try to better myself. But here I am. The same. As stubborn as a rock. As harsh a 5 year old and as emotional as a boy in puberty. ._.

[noirlogic]

WHERE WOULD YOU MOST LIKE TO VISIT ON YOUR PLANET?

I wish I could answer that with a selfless response. I would visit Austin, Texas. Its only a four hour drive form my home, but something special is there for me. You can go to Haiti, or Argentina, but I choose this place over any other, because here I smell opportunity. 

[noirlogic]

Memento... Motivation???

The silence of the unappreciated continue. A silent march of unsung individuals commence. It goes unnoticed and without purpose to the naked eye. We step, we march, we shout, we protest. The silence ever strong, the crowd disperses. Nothing was done. To the naked eye. But to an eye like yours and mine. You and me know. We made a difference in this world. By declaring our existence and saying it proudly.

[noirlogic]

Teasing My New Project

CHAPTER ONE: A New Haven

    “No mysticism is involved in what is about to happen gentleman.” The man in the green suit spoke. “You will infiltrate the facility, no man should have to perish today. Kill all scientists. No exception.” 

     The shady men wearing no symbols made the silent journey to the Facility that contained many secrets. Too many to keep track of. That night five children woke up. 

“Oh My God! is your story like real or something?” a girl with blond hair interrupts. The classroom also goes into a frenzy. 

“Yeah,” screams another girl next to the blond. 

“That is a matter of interpretation.” I breathe frustrated. One guy raises his hand. I give him an eye and nod. 

“Me? oh, yeah, so like, what happened to the girl, did you ever see her again?” The sea of eyes now flood back to me. I wish they didn’t. 

“Sorry, no. She went to New Haven and never came back.”

“Where is this New Haven?” Another guy interjects. I shrug nervously. 

“New Haven isn’t exactly a city on a map. It’s a…,” I pause and look away sadly.

“Mr. Luna, thank you for that lovely story please have a seat in the back. 

 New Haven, a place where the sun never shines. It is a place for the people who are so far gone it isn’t even acknowledged by the general public. It is an undisclosed location that can only be reached boat. How did I find this location? I didn’t. This location found me. It held answers to my existence, Who my parents were and why they left me in such a horrible place. Also, it leaves me answers to him. The boy with the white hair and crimson eyes. The boy that made me promise to never use my powers for bad again. 

I hate my powers. I never wanted them. From what I was able to piece from this place is that they do experiments on the patients who fit the description. Everyone else is either your run of the mill crazy killer or pedophile. Escape is impossible, at least it used to be. He was the first subject that fit the description. He was different after that. Before the experiment he used to smile at me. Genuinely smile at me. Me and him would talk for hours about the random things we would do when we get out of this place we called New Haven. He told me he wanted to try living on his own, and being responsible for himself and when he told me this I wanted nothing more than to join him. So we made a promise. A promise to love each other and stay with each other and live together for the rest of our lives. 

That was the Azure Luna I knew and loved. He told me something things he wouldn’t tell others. His story. A story that no one else will ever believe. 

“Spacing out already dude? the criteria isn’t that hard, is it?” A concerned voice whispers behind me. 

“Sorry no, the criteria isn’t difficult, I’ve covered pretty much all aspects of psychology. This will be my fourth third time that I learn about Pavlov’s experiments. And the general topic of Classical Conditioning, it fascinates me. But repetition gets tedious. Ya know.” I hope and pray that I don’t sound like a douche. That is the last thing I want people to think or that I am some arrogant jerk. The popular screaming face manifests itself in my mind. “Dx” The text savvy people would understand that one if I even bothered to explain. I am thrust back into the now when the concerned voice, shows a not so pleasant face. 

“Well, Mr. Luna,” she says loudly. “If you are so knowledgable about the world of psychology would you like to teach the class?” The students, the sea of eyes, the anticipated lips echoing the words yes race across the class, No point in delivering. It is the teachers orders right?

I stand up slow and make my way to the podium and the chalk board. The sharp intake of breath is comforting to hear. I am not calling her bluff, I am simply following what she wants me to do. She makes a step toward me intending to stop me and I whisper, “Miss lyle, please return to your seat and try to remember the class rule of raising your  hand to speak.” I smile kindly and finally make my way to the podium after what seems like hour. i look at the flummoxed  students and return the same face. Giggling occurs as I do this. “Class, why did I make that face.” No one answers. I keep the expression going. Until finally someone speaks out. “Yes you, young lady in the back.” I smile expectantly. She answers confidently, “because you don’t know what you’re trying to teach and you’re just blowing smoke trying to waste our time.” She throws ice cold daggers at me. The class follows in an oo sound and I laugh pleasantly surprised by this. “Remember class, even cute faces can’t hide primitive teenage angst.” The class joins in on the laugh and Miss Lyle and the girl remain speechless. “Okay, I want this on the record that I am not here to poke or make fun of any of you. We are just here to have fun and I would like it be that way. So, I would like too say I apologize, Miss Alice.” Speechless. 

“Moving on,” I say brightly, Please locate the text book on top of your desk, pick it up and shove it down the bottom of your seats.  Miss Lyle finally speaks out. That is not part of the lesson plan. 

“Miss Lyle, please, raise your hand if you have to say something.”

“Okay class, the topic for today is real life applications. But before we get into that, who can tell me anything about classical conditioning?” Silence. “it is the eager ones that are shy that always get disappointed, because they are afraid their own voice will never be heard, I spot three, How about you?” I pad toward the the podium, and gawk back at the class. “With those eager students in mind, I will tell you why I love Classical Conditioning and how it can be relevant in your life.” 

“Classical Conditioning, is a practiced repetition that becomes second nature This is a crash course and that is the definition I have chosen to give it. Its pretty accurate.” I add. “To do this is really simple. This requires a y and an x variable. 

 A hand raises. “Yes,” 

“Should we take notes bro, I mean sir, sorry?” I am speechless. 

“Does a bear shit in the woods, bro.” A twinkle in my eye and a sideways smile makes its way across my face. The humor is not lost on the students, and even Miss Lyle is trying to stifle a giggle. I like it here. I like it a lot. 

The bell rings and the students look at me expectantly. Thank you for being wonderful students and classmates, lets do this again soon. Also, I am expecting documentation on your findings on real-life applications of todays lesson. That means, report, posters, arts, video, I am a sucker for video. have that in ready next week. Go home. 

[noirlogic]

Memento Mori

Is my Response to life's many struggles. Does this mean, I live my life making reckless choices BECAUSE I WILL die, or that I make the safest choices with minimal hardship to further prolong my life? NO. Do I say this as a response to YOLO? NO. I say this as a reminder. "Remember that You will Die." So what kind of choice do I make? I make the choice I make with conviction. I live the life I live as an arthritic, epileptic, monophobic, recluse with conviction. I pay the price for making the choices I've made and I stick along side those choices. Remember you will die. So Continue Living the way you see fit. Because that is how you want to live. I am not asking the world to consider picking up this mentality all i am asking is to: Continue Living. 

More on this personal Subject later. 

[noirlogic]

The mark of insanity

its in the key of C

as in look and see 

the torture you cause me

this epic repetition, 

perfect for the inquisition. 

its torture i tell you

You want me to believe,

but i have a different motive, I want to be free

[noirlogic]

The formula remains the same.

I love. I feel. I tell. Then I quit. Then she leaves. I get lazier. I love. Then I pout. Them She quits. I get left. --- I am a loser =.= ---

[noirlogic]

IRIS: Alan Alone

The lights flicker ominously in his unkempt room. The mood is all too eerie and familiar for poor Alan. The money long forgotten, kept in a vault for safe keeping. So was his pride and dignity as a highly regarded researcher in the field. 

He was heralded as the man who brought the world to his knees, and when the public figured out his motives, they rose hell against him. Now under witness protection and in fear for his life. He continues to look for a cure from the addiction of IRIS and the mind control it gives.