twilight i guess

i thought i had gotten over twilight when i was 10,,,, but here i am at 18. || they/she

[noirritablegrizzly]

intrusive thoughts r weird lol i just got hit with a “oh no i forgot to take my clothes out of the laundry machine” it’s literally been a week since i did my laundry, and i have all of my clothes? i left nothing behind? brain just saying i have wet clothes waiting for me in my dorm laundry room like okay brain thank you let’s work on working properly next time

[noirritablegrizzly]

the pain of having twilight as a hyperfixation for the past 11 months means that i am 1. no better than my 10 year old self 2. too deep into the time period of twilight and therefore unable to keep up with recent trends 3. really bad at socializing because all i can think about is twilight 4. finding connections between everything around me and twilight even though i am mostly grasping. i would like my brain back please and thank you

[noirritablegrizzly]

edward leaving in new moon was not actually because he thought he was doing what was right for bella, but because he didn’t want her to see the cullens’ halloween shenanigans.

[noirritablegrizzly]

okay so we know that edward shuts down most of the traditional vampire lore convo bc the twilight universe vamps are built different,,,,, but (as far as i know) nobody mentions the arithmomania (compulsion to count)?????

like idk if anyone’s already talked abt this BUT what if one day a still human bella just,,,,, dropped her wallet and a bunch of loose change scattered everywhere???? what if she was out helping esme with (fake) groceries and was put in charge of carrying the bag of rice bc how could she possibly hurt herself with that but then she trips and the bag falls and rice goes everywhere???

suddenly all of the cullens (or at least the ones in the room/area) are crouched on the floor counting. she’s like “uh guys,,,,, what??? we can just sweep it up??” but they’re so entirely focused that they just,,, don’t answer her. so she just sits down and watches them because what the fuck.

eventually - and it takes a while because they take their time making sure they’re counting accurately and then come together to add up their little piles - there’s just this pile of rice in the middle of the floor and then they all just stand up and look at each other like it happened again and bella is just like,,,, chilling on the couch trying not to laugh hysterically because what the fuck was that.

and then they all go on their merry ways and edward takes bella joke and she’s like,,,, eddy??? what??? just??? happened??? and he’s like uhhhhhhhhhhh and just avoids the question because he’s embarrassed for whatever reason until one day bella’s so fed up that she just marches into carlisle’s office at the hospital, drops a bag of birdseed (small bag bc she doesn’t want to wait forever), waits for him to pick it up, and then makes him tell her what it’s all about.

she doesn’t let them live it down after that and finds it hilarious.

she just carries around a pouch of dried beans and whenever she’s pissed at edward she threatens to let them drop

[noirritablegrizzly]

currently thinking abt jacob black trying to fit himself in a 1968 rabbit,,,,,,

[noirritablegrizzly]

there is no way they ever gave kellan a script. they just told him where to stand & pointed at him to give him his cue.

like, c’mon. the man exudes emmett energy. the most iconic emmett moment was literally just kellan being kellan.

[noirritablegrizzly]

thinking about how alistair sees carlisle as his best friend </3

pls treats just so cute like,,,, this reclusive sad vamp hiding away from the world for centuries & then this weird, golden eyed vamp shows up and his “enthusiasm eventually grew on alistair” like omg,,, carlisle just did not leave him alone until alistair was like FINE and then they were friends???

additionally,,,, ur telling me carlisle didn’t have a gift? ur telling me he made friends with almost every vampire he met,,,, even the reclusive or aggressive ones??? that he knew the romanians and treated them like they were more annoying acquaintances than a threat? that he stayed as a guest with the volturi and aro just,,,,, let him leave when he wanted to?? and on top of that,,,, humans are comfortable with him?? like he would not be such an impressive doctor if his patients avoided him like he carried the plague??? like yeah the whole super attractive thing probably helped but like,,, edward sees that ppl r put on edge by them naturally but carlisle doesn’t rlly have that issue??

i just rlly love carlisle cullen okay

[noirritablegrizzly]

okay so you know how james was such an ugly human that the change just made him,,,, average? what if the change did the same thing to clumsy bella?

like i love the headcanon that she’s the first clumsy vampire, but what if the change just made her,,,, coordinated? but not graceful like all the other vampires - she just doesn’t trip over air anymore. like it just makes her,,,, average?

[noirritablegrizzly]

for some reason when thinking about twilight my brain just ends up replacing the word ‘vampire’ with ‘dinosaur’ and it’s the most off putting thing

[noirritablegrizzly]

i always wanted to be bella when i was growing up but now i’m listening to debussy and crying,,,, when did i become edward and how do i fix this

[noirritablegrizzly]

i can only ever think of vampire skin as like,,,, oobleck?? like yes hard as stone when they’re being attacked or torn apart but soft and malleable when they’re just chillin? like yeah they aren’t liquid or anything but still,,, same idea

[noirritablegrizzly]

twilight but it’s just bella telling emmett about all of the things she’s made by putting a frying pan on the side of the road during the summer in phoenix

[noirritablegrizzly]

headcanon that every year without fail when they go back to school and teachers make them share what they did over the summer, emmett talks about all of the bears he fought & then the teachers have to call home because his stories are convincing enough to call for concern of his mental state

[noirritablegrizzly]

i might just be stupid & late but does the fact that alice didn’t see bella return home after jumping (new moon) mean that she got with jacob? like alice can’t see the wolves so that means if she didn’t see a future for bella,,,, she never left the wolves’ side???

[noirritablegrizzly]

i want it to be a hot girl summer but rlly i’m in my possibility era & i sit in my room all day

[snidely-whipstache]

Okay but Bella should have still been clumsy as a vampire just with better reaction time. Like she still trips all the time she just has time to be mad about it and recover before she hits the ground and cracks Esme's hardwood floors like she's a nokia phone.

[snidely-whipstache]

To be clear, this is what I'm envisioning:

@twilightofficial

[noirritablegrizzly]

jasper just vibe checks every single person he meets