Thinking about how easily Lex accepts abuse from Clark (because he thinks all loving relationships are built on or involve abuse). Clark almost never means to it’s usually because of redk or some other misc plot reason but he does just never explain himself or apologize for it? He’ll say the meanest thing and throw Lex into a wall and then offer him nothing once he’s back to normal? Hey guys why does Clark get to apologize to Lana and Chloe and Pete and tell them “I wasn’t myself” but he can’t do that for Lex?? Smallville writers I’m going to fucking get you I’m so serious
This is a bit of a ramble because I wrote it at like midnight.
Smallville Clex Week Day 1: Youth
A view of Clark and Lex's relationship outside the typical interpretations of strictly romantic or familial.
Smallville revolves almost entirely around the push-and-pull of two young queer people–one a boy barely into his teens and one just finding his feet in adulthood, the latter with just enough experience to help guide the former through the opening steps of a complex, lifelong dance.
Many people interpret this relationship as both sexual and romantic, and with fairly good reason. The sexual tension has existed between them almost from the very beginning. There's never been any doubt to me that sexual attraction is present, whether they want it to be or not. However, they never act on this, and their relationship takes on an altogether different form because of it: Queerplatonic.
"Queerplatonic" (abbreviated QPR) is a type of relationship you usually see referenced in asexual and aromantic communities, though I'll note here that anyone of any sexuality can be in one. It's a deeply intimate relationship, but doesn't hold with all (or sometimes any) of the traditional markers of a romantic relationship. It looks different for everyone. It may or may not include dates, handholding, kissing, sex, etc. The people involved in this type of relationship, however, are just as committed as a romantic couple is. However, it's important to note (both in general and for this in particular) that being in a queerplatonic relationship does not in any way preclude the participants from pursuing other relationships…including romantic ones.
In Season One, we see Clark and Lex slowly start to build their relationship, and from the very beginning it's different from what you might expect. These boys met under traumatic circumstances–Lex hit Clark with his car, revealing to Clark a new depth to his powers and leading him to discover the extent of how different he is from others; and Clark revived Lex after he subsequently drowned in the river, giving Lex a second chance to build something positive with his life instead of continuing a self-destructive spiral. This gives them an immediate connection and intimacy.
We see various attempts throughout the show of Clark and Lex attempting to pigeon-hole their relationship into a recognizable acceptable box, even though we the viewers can see it never fits the proposed mold. Best friends, brothers, and even we as viewers tend to try to put them in a recognizable box as lovers or boyfriends, but their relationship never quite fits any of those things.
Evidence of this is seen as early as S1E05 - Cool. Lex calls Clark "the little brother [he] never had." This is fairly common with close friends. But in the context of the rest of the episode, calling Clark his brother doesn't quite make sense. Lex buys Clark concert tickets and offers him a limo ride for a date with Lana, and also tries to ingratiate himself directly with the running of the Kent Farm, after only knowing Clark for two months. Max. That's simply not enough time to develop any kind of brotherly affection, let alone justify concert tickets and a limo.
Both boys struggle with this intimacy in different ways. Lex, who has never truly known it and wants it above all things, latches onto it immediately in any way he can–helping Clark with various problems, including helping him with Lana, the object of Clark's romantic affections. Clark, who has been told all his life to hide his powers, immediately shies away, because to accept that intimacy would mean showing Lex a side of him he has always been told can never be shown to anyone.
I'll note quickly here that Lex initially did try to reject the relationship, in the form of the truck he sends Clark as a thank-you gift. In a sense, Jonathan Kent was right about it being a pay-off–Lex, as a Luthor, has been raised not to be in debt to anyone, but unlike his father he tries to deal with it peacefully instead of twisting it to his advantage. Ironically, Jonathan's insistence that Clark reject this gift is probably what led to them developing their relationship along QPR lines to begin with, because it forced the boys to actually get to know each other. It made Lex more curious about Clark, not less, and once Lex was forced to abandon his typical tactics, Clark became more willing to get to know him in turn.
But past that initial attempt at rejection, Lex latches onto Clark like a limpet. Early attempts to help Clark are also moments of building their relationship. As early as S1E02 - Metamorphosis, Lex is checking up on Clark after the Scarecrow incident, giving Clark the way to Lana's heart by returning her lost necklace, giving him that necklace in a lead box specifically to keep Clark safe from its effects, and giving Clark backstory on how special said box is (a gift from his dead mother). He offers himself again and again.
Clark both desires that intimacy and fears it. He accepts Lex's offerings, but doesn't return them as fully as he could. There are things he shares, but even when Lex offers the most traumatic event of his past, Clark doesn't share his own secret. He believes if he does, he will be rejected (and that rejection will have dire consequences), so he rejects any attempt Lex makes to allow Clark to come clean on his own about it. This is seen as early as S1E06 - Hourglass, when Lex asks him directly about the car crash.
Still, despite his fear, Clark's desire for that intimacy leads him to share other pieces of himself in the hopes it will be enough. And for a long time, admittedly, it is; Lex accepts Clark won't tell him the thing he clearly suspects, and at first is content to let it lie and accept what Clark will share with him.
This leads into another key component of their relationship–Trust.
Even though Clark doesn't trust Lex with his secret, they do trust each other to be there when the other needs them. For emotional support, legal troubles, even to save each other's lives. They save each other's lives in the very first episode. Lex offers emotional support for Clark's endeavors with Lana. Clark defends Lex to his parents when Lex is accused of armed robbery because he knows Lex would never do something like that, even if the person looked like him.
So clearly we can establish Clark and Lex's relationship is far from normal brotherly- or best friend-type. It goes far deeper than just friendship. But these can also be signs of a burgeoning romantic and/or sexual relationship, so why don't I interpret it that way?
Outside the confines of the show itself, there's several reasons the writers may not have shown them entering this type of relationship. Smallville started airing in late 2001, when gay sex was still a criminal offense and the Hays Code demanded queer characters be villains, die tragically, or somehow become "cured." There's also the fact Clark started out only fourteen.
But we also know that they never canonically pursue any kind of romantic or sexual relationship at any point, even later in the show when gay sex is decriminalized, the Hays Code has less of a hold on media, and Clark is above the age of consent. There's never so much of a hint of it, beyond pining looks.
But arguably, with the state the world in when the show began, and with the show's creators directly saying Smallville is an allegory for a closeted gay kid, those things are exactly why Clark and Lex developed a QPR instead of a romantic and/or sexual relationship. In-universe itself, just because gay sex was decriminalized when Clark was sixteen (the age of consent in Kansas, when it theoretically would have been safe for them to do so) doesn't mean it would have been safe to engage in that type of relationship, especially in a town that's presented as small and definitely conservative. It was off the table.
But giving each other up clearly wasn't an option. They needed each other.
So they developed an equally strong and committed type of relationship instead, even if they lacked the a proper name for it.