The Trans Community & the Strings Attached
Listen, I’m a huge dumbfuck. Have been since I was yeeted out of the womb, pretty much.
However, there are just some things that make even dumbfucks like me scratch our heads, & think aloud, “What the actual fuck?” Well, the trans Community is just that.
I’ve always known myself as a guy my whole life, but I’ve known I’m a trans guy for almost a decade now. I figured this out in 2011; you know, before transgenderism blew up in the media in 2015.
Let mė gêt thĭš śtråíght, I’ve never been through a “mogai” stage. It took me like one minute to google what exactly mogai is, & in just that quick of a search, I easily debunked the entire argument from both sides. Wanna know how?
It’s a waste of time 💋💖👏🤙😘
Oh fucc, ł₥ ₱Ʉ฿Ⱡł₵ Ɇ₦Ɇ₥Ɏ #1 ₦Ø₩
No really, it’s such a fucking waste of time, I can’t stress that enough. It’s not even just one (1) reason it’s a waste of time, it’s a fucking string of events lols, that’s the sad part.
No One Is Paying Attention
No one outside of Tumblr is paying attention to this, almost no “real supporter” pays attention to this, the media doesn’t pay attention to this, but most importantly, you people involved in this shit can’t even pay attention to each other!
I’ve spent the entirety of this year trying to connect with people in this community, & in all fucking honesty, I wish I never did. Almost none of you can take a single goddamn second actually listening to each other. You all legitimately live in echo chambers whether you admit it or not. All I heard from either side are the nasty stereotypes & dehumanization of each other. That’s right, all you do to each other is hate, dismiss, & dehumanize!!!! It’s not that difficult to figure out why this community is so toxic to begin with!!!
Remember this, & the thousands of adaptations since throughout the year? There’s truscum ones, too, but y'all get the point. This is nasty & unnecessary. Categorizing people in these negative stereotypes, making duplicate after duplicate versions of this, spreading this as “truth” or whatever is what is known as ★彡 propaganda 彡★
Spreading propaganda is increasing this “Us Against Them” mindset, & when you normalize this mindset, the result is the combustion of extremists, so ultimately speaking, none of you should be SURPRISED that there are extremists in this community from either side of the argument, because you are all literally gaslighting, & helping justify these extremists whether you realize it or fucking not!
No, let’s keep talking about this. “Neopronouns, fake identities, & mogai is destroying the trans community” No, you all contribute to fucking up the trans community for TRANS PEOPLE. In first world countries, it is generally shamed upon to discriminate any minority group today. Generally. Of course there will be assholes & douchebags who refuse to understand, & choose to belittle groups of people they feel should be lowered beneath their social status. There will always be people like that; with that being said, do you really think it would have made a difference if “mogai culture” was not a thing? There literally was no mogai culture when i first came out as trans, & that was when I was abused most heavily & always outcasted for it. Wanna know why? No one was talking about trans people at all. Any publicity is good publicity. Now we have more gender neutral bathrooms, spaces for us, recognition, & for gods sake, I really really fucking appreciate how I don’t have to tell anyone what transgender is anymore when i come out to them. The world is a much different place for us now than it was before 2015, but of course, some of you don’t understand that, because y'all came out after 2015.
Look, I get it, people who are not actually apart of the community, & are trying to force themselves into it as a way of feeling like they belong somewhere can be frustrating, but for fucks sakes, let’s please appreciate how fucking great it is to not be shot down from everyone, because they don’t understand it. I can finally just say, “I’m a transsexual.” to people I know, & they might not completely understand, they don’t have to, but instead of just gawking their mouth, & literally never associate with me again (after I take 2 minutes explaining what transsexualism is for the record), they just kind of smile, & say, “That’s not your fault, & I don’t see you any differently.” Please understand, if anyone says otherwise, they’re not worth wasting your time. Take it from a person who has wasted a shit ton of time on people I thought were important in my life; I never heard from any of them again after I stopped personally contacting them, & they never mention me after; it’s like I never existed in their lives, but yet, they’ve impacted mine so greatly like cuts that had salt thoroughly rubbed into them, & the cuts turned into visible scars given time. Take things with a grain of salt, but don’t rub it in.
Oh no, guys! Look out!!!! It’s the
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[̲̅t̲̅][̲̅r̲̅][̲̅a̲̅][̲̅n̲̅][̲̅s̲̅][̲̅p̲̅][̲̅h̲̅][̲̅o̲̅][̲̅b̲̅][̲̅e̲̅] [̲̅t̲̅][̲̅a̲̅][̲̅n̲̅][̲̅k̲̅]
This tank will blast your ass if you’re transphobic in anyway (an example would be, idk, you might have read up to this far, & don’t like the truth I’m expressing, so you start either coming up with a bad argument for why im wrong which will lead to a keyboard smashing rage, & evidently, you block me as though my existence was never relevant to your life, but you continue to low-key stalk my blog, sending other keyboard warriors to harass me, or you’ll spam “pee ur pants” on this post & in my inbox. :u)
Why the Trans Community Excludes Trans People
That sounds odd, doesn’t it? That’s because it is odd, but that doesn’t make it any less true. Let me tell you a little bit about how I got in the trans community at the beginning of this year. My “home life” is terrible. I had just dropped out of high school October 2017, & I was caught in the middle of extreme danger; shit that hardly anyone in society will ever understand (because it’s deeper than identity politics) Nevertheless I was extremely lonely, & left to rot. I wanted to be around people like me, & feel like i just fucking belong somewhere without fear. I cannot for the life of me elaborate how terrifying it is to be caught in the middle of a drug ring, & it’s not that i even fucking do drugs, I’m completely sober, it’s that my family literally used me as a fucking human shield for their shitty actions. Whenever they screwed someone over, the people abused ME! Eventually my family started fucking around with gang societies, & a small town mafia. I don’t want to get into any more details on this post, but if you’re interested, my blog sheds light on a lot of this.
Anyway, I discovered the “trans community”, & I was like <:U I can be apart of that! I did not realize how problematic the community really is. All this dumb fucking discourse, I did not realize that’s what it’s fueled on. All I did was be positive, & encourage people to be the best of themselves. That’s literally all I did; you know why I did that, it’s because I have no one in my life that will do that for me; i was surrounded by toxic ignorant idiots. Wanna know what I got out of being so kind hearted?
I was harassed so much. My own community did this to me. No, I refuse to separate this as a “tucutes & transmeds” thing. If you claim to be apart of the community, & you harass people in it, that’s not healthy for the community & its progression. What I’m trying to get at is that I was harassed by both sides of people in the “argument”, & I deadass didn’t even do anything. I literally spent half of this year just grinding at the gym, & dealing with actual criminals, all I had time to text about was inspirational shit, or like funny shit, yk? I was not apart of the argument, I just needed friends, & what I got in return was huge harassment. It was extremely depressing. Like imagine getting texts from people you personally spent a lot of time helping, encouraging, & comforting, & it says shit like, “You were a mistake”(bitch I literally am, the condom broke & i was supposed to originally be aborted) “Go kill yourself” “you’re the worst kind of people” “no one will ever love you” “you’re mentally ill” (the same people who heavily claim that people should never self diagnose, or assume ones mental health were the ones who tried pushing me into believing I have depression, severe anxiety, & bipolar without even really knowing me) All of these were used to harass me. It’s disgusting, & there’s no excuse for it, & it doesn’t matter who or what you are. I thought you were my friends, but I met less fake people on the streets.
To be honest, I’m not addressing this for like a pity party; I’ve dealt with much much worse, I can handle the hits, but this is a problem much bigger than me, this community has a huge problem with suicide baiting. Not everyone is like me, not everyone can brush off crude unnecessary remarks; it will hurt them greatly, & that impacts how they feel about themselves, & the community they thought they wanted to be apart of to feel less alone; they leave feeling more alienated than ever. That’s the issue in this community, not people having different opinions. Take this into consideration, please. Some of the biggest blogs ended up discontinuing, because they were harassed so much, & felt so much fucking distress, & why wouldn’t they if everyone either kept suicide baiting them, or used their words/posts out of context as an excuse to suicide bait others. That’s not fucking cool no matter who you are, or what you believe. They just disappeared from the community. This isn’t a safe place for trans people to just hang out, & talk about being trans, & livin’ life anymore; it just feels like a fucking war zone. Y'all, this is coming from someone who had to literally fight every day to survive, so I fucking know this shit, I know it’s difficult, but I can only help so much people at a time. I get pushed away further & further by you people everyday, & I don’t feel like pushing back anymore…
The Trans Community Doesn’t Focus on Trans People Anymore
First off, when looking through all the blogs & discourse, there is literally MORE emphasis on other things that isn’t trans related on trans focused blogs, & is completely unnecessary to tag as such. The trans tag is for TRANS related topics, not a free for all on pedophilia discourse! Idc if you’re for or against it, you do NOT tag it as anything other than pedophilia, because if you don’t do that, you are rubbing in the reminder to victims of such gross acts. I am a victim, i was surrounded by pedos & rapists on the streets; my suffering is not your after school PSA, my suffering is not an “UwU discourse” aesthetic, my goddamn suffering is not for your bio info; there is literally no one in real life who addresses themselves as “Anti-map” unless directly asked, like how it should be. If I had even questioned you’re a MAP, I would immediately stop associating with you. Otherwise, we don’t need to talk about it. STOP TAGGING PEDOPHILIA MENTION AS TRANS IT IS SICK & MAKES ME WANNA DIE! There’s also been heavy discourse about capitalism/communism, like wtf, come on guys, those aren’t trans topics, don’t tag it as trans, it’s not lols. “Unpopular Opinions” *lists the same things most people actually agree with & gets like over 200 notes on average & much praise* Like come on, guys, this isn’t terrible, I’m just so sick of seeing the same list made by several different people over & over & over again. At that point, it’s not “Unpopular”.
Let’s be completely fair & honest here. The term “transgender”, hell even the prefix “Trans” has been twisted & stretched from its origins. Let’s just see how.
It’s changed a lot. To be honest, I do not fully agree or support this change, but that doesn’t mean I can subjectively be shitty to people who do agree with it. (Crossdressing is not transgender) Rather than fighting it, we should just adjust to the changes, because guess what; change happens everyday; it’s not gonna look like this even 10 years from now, but no let’s get deeper, if you just let things take its course, change will happen FASTER. Things will improve, but fighting about it, & making labels, & forming groups bonding over actual hate (Hate used in this context is not as in “oh i hate their ideologies”, it’s actual hate, as in, “I really fucking hate you people & want you all dead” … yeahhh, it’s that bad) is only gonna slow shit down, & make things more complicated/worse. The saddest part is you all know this, I know you do. You people make posts expressing it, but you don’t tag it, & I’ve had so many DMs from you people talking about this.
I, & many others, have decided to just reclaim the transsexual identity entirely, & in my opinion, it’s the best way to separate the “binaries” from the “nonbinaries”. Since people wanna claim that “Transgender” is an “umbrella” term, & to be fair, the definition doesn’t specify having to fit the binary(this is what I meant by twisting the word) & I gotta admit, the prefix is kind of meaningless in that sense, since you can’t transition into “nonbinary”, but nevertheless, this is just how it be for now, & even the umbrella follows this.
The other thing I wanted to address under this subtitle is that most of what I see talked about anymore is how cis people feel about trans people/cis alliship. This isn’t me saying that this shouldn’t be talked about (literally 99.8% of the world is a pretty decent chunk of people, amirite?) Just like literally everything else in this community, it’s handled horribly.
Okay so, yes, cis people CAN have a say in what goes on in the trans community, & how they feel about trans people in general. However, if they start talking shit, & harassing trans people, saying stupid shit, & talking over trans people, that’s when it’s actually transphobic. It’s important to call them out on it when they are overstepping their boundaries. Okay we got that out of the way!
Now, here’s where it might get extremely controversial, but I don’t think “cis alliship” is that important. Do I think it will help? Certainly!! However, right now the trans community can’t even treat other trans people correctly. How do you think that makes us look to cis people? It looks like we can’t get our shit together, & you know, that’s exactly what it is. You all look like edgy teenagers & young adults who smash the keyboard too much, & send each other death threats & slurs.
Cis people can’t 100% clock every trans person on sight. Oh by the way, assuming cis people actually fall for “star gender” & anything like that is just insulting their intelligence. They don’t take transsexualism as a joke, they treat these instances as a joke, you know, just like you guys do. We’d have to radiate big dicc trans energy heavily for them to notice we are trans.
That’s a fucking giant pillow in his pants. (it me)
Cis people are wonderful, don’t get me wrong, but they deadass just cannot understand what it’s really like to be trans, & I’m sorry, but it’s very infuriating when I hear them say things like, “But you are a real guy”… like um, no I’m literally not, that’s the whole issue. I know I’m not the only one who feels this way. It’s not JUST how we feel about our figure, it’s literally everything. Your identity, & the way you look sets a social status on you, so that literally means trans people are reminded every single day about their condition. Being empathetic towards trans people can only stretch so far, & what I mean is that you most likely just take a moment to think about it for a little bit, but then you get to just snap out of that, & not really have to think about it again. Not only that, but it also means that no matter how hard we try, we can’t help but feel envious of cis people, like, heavily. That doesn’t mean we hate you, but I’ve literally met cis people who get confused or upset when they interact with trans people when this is a solid response, light hearted or not, & I can’t help but think, well wtf did you think was gonna happen when you, a cis person, dives into the trans community head first? I love you cis people, & we WANT you to support us, we really do, but we cannot deny that there’s a communication barrier, & it’s not something simple that you can just empathize with it to understand, it’s literally a whole different reality, & the biggest thing that crushes the connection between cis & trans is that you HAVE to be born with it. It’s not something you have a chance of getting, or a contagious disease to catch; it’s just who we are.
Lemme just take an attempt to show you what dysphoria feels like. :P
Sorry, that was emotionally disturbing fun, wasn’t it? Anyway, I wanna really wrap this up into my final point in prospect, & this one to me is pretty important, & I hope a lot of you have read up to this far, & will finish this with consideration.
Did Any Of It Matter At All¿
This is where I’m going to take a moment to deeply reflect from my time being apart of this community, & explaining why I’m throwing in the flag, & leaving it probably for good.
Let me start with stating that I’ve met so so many people throughout this year, not only in the drug ring, & all the streets, corners, & alleys in my city, but uh, I’ve personally met & interacted with many of you in the trans community. A lot of you are amazing, & are really gonna go places, y'all will make it in life for sure, & I hope I was at least a helping hand when you needed it. :) Others, however, I’m not gonna lie or sugar coat this whatsoever, are just really fucking nasty. You treated people like shit, & justified it through crooked identity politics; you are no better than the politicians we currently are stuck with. I hope a lot of you realize this, & change your ways for the better of yourself & others. You’re not a lost cause, & I am always willing to lend a hand, but the biggest lesson in life is that you HAVE to put in your own effort to become better. It doesn’t just happen.
I cannot express this e n o u g h but uh, I’ve been through SO fucking much, it’s amazing I’m alive, to be honest. With that being said, I stated earlier ago that I originally came into the trans community to find friends, & well, be apart of a *•.¸♡ community ♡¸.•* I was horribly mistaken.
First off, it was nothing but drama. It literally was just fucking drama drama drama, right off the bat. When it wasn’t drama, it was people PMing me about being suicidal, or just fucking harassing me. I lost a lot of sleep over that shit (not like i sleep much to begin with) Look, I get down & out, too, but goddamn. I do not need to be hearing other’s suicidal thoughts while I’m out late at night surrounded by big time criminals. I will help you as much as possible, I won’t let you die on me like how others did in front of me in real life. Whenever I needed someone to talk to or help, suddenly everyone was just quiet & unresponsive. :D
With that being said, I expect that help in return. If I go out of my way for you, you must put that effort into me. Now do I expect that from strangers on the Internet? Obviously not, but that’s the thing, many of you lead me on & on & on. It’s extremely frustrating to put so much time, effort, & emotion into a person, especially when you’re in my position where everyone you meet is a criminal, & will turn on you, & growing up in an abusive family that did nothing but abuse me, & leave me to die literally; trust… is just difficult. Opening up is nearly impossible, & all of you fucking KNEW that, & yet, you dragged me on rough pavement through a long sidewalk with a leash, & took the collar off when we hit a deadend; you left me like I never existed in your life, like I didn’t matter at all. This isn’t me playing victim or posting up a straw man, as everyone of you who did this to me told me, “I’ll be with you through thick & thin, because that’s what friendship is.”
This goes deeper, some of you deadass told me you loved me, & you wanted something between us, but uh, a ha ha ha, you met someone else, or decided out of nowhere it was too much for you, & pulled the plug without even a mere goodbye. :/ But hey, y'all really loved me for sure 👌🤙👍 so much so, you never even talked about me after.
The final thing that I wanna put out there is that a community that was built around the struggles & misfortune for those who identify with said label was so when it occurs to members, those within the community help them, & spread awareness. I suffered serious injuries & consequences from an actual transphobic attack back in September 1st exactly. You can read about it on my blog. Anyway, my immediate reaction after handling it with “legality” was to address it to the “friends” i had apart of this community. None of you wanted to hear about it, or even acknowledge it happened. And that pretty much sums up the trans community, fellas!
I’m not much certain about much anything, anymore. I don’t have any family anymore, I have no home, & almost no direction where I’m going, or where my destination lies, & honestly, I’m not even quite sure what I’ll amount to in life, & if I’ll ever be fortunate for a lover, but this past year has left me something that I am certain about, & will always be; Having an identity that doesn’t match your body, & having a sex change does NOT make you a fake person, but denying help to a person who gave nothing but their best to you when you needed it, or telling a person who you know is damged & still struggling that you’ll always be there “thick & thin” or “no matter what”, Hell, even telling them you straight up “love” them only to drop them out of your life faster than your first conversation together, that makes you the FAKEST person in the entire goddamn world!
So I’ve gotta ask… did any of it really matter?
And that’s just the tea, y'all; Yee-fucking-haw!
So here I am finally saying no, & refusing to deal with the same horseshit this “community” has put me through this entire year. I’m over it, it’s like watching a boat sink lower & lower into the ocean water, but the people aboard aren’t doing anything to stop it from sinking, they’re just chanting the same shit, or fighting each other.
You don’t have to be an organization to help people, all you have to do is actually fucking care.
“But Noah, you can’t just cut an entire community of people out of your life! ”
No more strings attached.
