Broken Pieces - Steven Grant x Reader
You didn't like how Steven talked about himself.
warnings : none (maybe a little angst?? and also self deprecating themes ig) but mostly fluff
word count : 2.01k
author's note : i wrote this randomly in like one sitting at 3am with no plan whatsoever,, it's my first x reader fic please be indulgent,, (also i didn't even proof read it lol so enjoy my silly little spelling mistakes) i just wanted to add on to the sea of soft!steven x reader cause im a sucker for it
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"You alright, love ?" Steven asked you, brows furrowed in nothing but curiosity and concern, noticing you blankly staring at him as he went on and on, venting to you about his long day working at the museum - among other things.
"Uh, yeah" you answered after a little while, your mind having wandered to the depths of itself. you gave him an apologetic smile before tightening your grip on his big hands and intertwining your fingers together. "I'm alright, Steven. I'm so sorry, my mind was… elsewhere." You looked at him with mostly care and worry behind your eyes.
"What's going on ?" He slightly shifted from his previous laid back position against the backrest of the couch and was now sat up straight in front of you. Your naked legs were tangled together, covered byt the warm and fuzzy blanket Steven bought for the two of you. He gently put his hand on your thigh underneath it as his thumb drew circles on your soft skin.. He hoped that this gesture would soothe out the pain you seemed to be enduring.
You opened your mouth, only to close it again after a few seconds, leaving the silence between the two of you grow ever so daunting. What were you gonna say to him ?
While he was talking about his day, about how bored he was working at the gift-shop counter and how unnerving his boss' presence was, constantly lingering around to remind him not to "chat the visitors' ears off" despite him really wanting to, you felt a sudden sort-of-sadness washing over you. You couldn't really explain it but you felt a heaviness in your chest, weighing in a bit more with every word he spoke.
Hearing your boyfriend talk about his job like that made you sad. Hearing him talk about how he was being treated in such a casual, detached, used-to-it manner made you angry. You were angry at Donna, his boss, for giving him hell when he deserved paradise and even more. You were angry at him, for not standing up for himself and letting people walk all over him. And you were angry at yourself, for caring so much that it made you sick to your stomach.
When you met Steven, the second you laid your eyes on him, especially on his brown curls, exhausted eyes and boyish grin, as cliché as it was, you felt a million butterflies fly around in your empty stomach. You'd walked up to him, barely managing to conceal the flustered look on your face and asked him about the items he sold. You wanted to start a conversation with him and that seemed like the easiest approach. He started talking to you about the pyramid shaped key rings and about the plushies of the different gods, taking one in his big calloused hand and setting it on the counter. It was a plushie of the goddess Taweret, Egyptian deity of fertility. Soon enough, he started rambling about the origin of her cult and how exactly people worshipped her in the ancient days. While he was talking, you couldn’t help but notice how his face, previously dull and haunted by boredom, was now lit up and joyful. You could practically hear the smile in his clear, soothing voice.
Realising mid-sentence that he completely went off-track, he scolded himself mentally, already picturing Donna lecture him about how "he's not the bloody tour guide" and should stop giving people unwanted remarks about ancient egypt. He then profusely apologised to you. His eyes were looking down at the plushie that he grabbed from the table where he'd put it while his lips curved into a defeated half smile. You were amazed at how expressive that man was. You could read his face like an open book, every emotion he felt being completely obvious. Not that you were much of a stoic yourself.
"That's so interesting," You slightly squinted your eyes to read his name on the tag that you just noticed he was wearing "Steven. Could you tell me more ?"
He looked up to you, eyes open wide and mouth faintly agape. He wasn't annoying you with all these useless facts ? And even more unbelievable, you wanted to hear more ? As he blinked slowly, he let out a shaky breath that made your heart melt. He was adorable. As he continued talking, giving you little facts about the goddess, the life in egypt and whatnot, you found the way his hands caressed and handled the plushie endearing. Everything you'd seen about him so far was endearing. To the way his pretty brown eyes wandered about, shifting between timidly looking into yours and at the table, to the way he tripped over his own words, as if he was hurrying to get to the next one already. After a few minutes spent with him excitedly talking and you scrutinising his face, he stopped talking and finally made solid eye contact. "I assume you're interested in egyptology, yeah ?" His eyebrows went up an so did his voice.
"Me ? I guess you could say that yes." A little laugh escaped your pink covered lips as you tucked a piece of stray hair behind your ear. You hoped your flirtatious intentions were obvious enough for him to pick up on it.
"Stevie ?" A feminine voice called from not so far away. You both turned your heads in the direction it was coming from, you with curiosity and him with apprehension. A blond haired middle aged woman was looking at him with a severe expression on her face and her arms crossed over her chest. She looked somewhat angry, or disappointed, or both.
"Shit," You heard the man in front of you say when he turned his head back to his gift-shop counter and accesorily to gift-shopist reality. He seemed to "have forgotten that he was only here to sell useless crap" as his colleagues so well put it. "I'm so sorry miss, but I'm actually not allowed to erm… chat during my work hours." He said, the words leaving his mouth with a truly bitter taste. He enjoyed this little talk the two of you just had and the look of pure interest in your face struck him. He always tried to share his extensive knowledge of all things in regards to ancient Egypt to pretty much everyone stopping by but he wasn’t used to people actually listening and being interested.
Your hands flew to his, gently taking the plushie he was holding and inadvertently brushing against his fingertips as you did so. "It's alright, it's my fault, I distracted you from your job. I'm gonna buy that, yeah ?" You smiled at him, truly sorry for monopolising his attention for so long.
"Great, awesome, good." He said, a huge smile stretching his pink lips, relieved that this was probably gonna save him from being torn apart by his boss later on. After you paid for it, you looked at him earnestly. "It was really nice meeting you, Steven." You finally said before walking away, not without waving him a little goodbye with your free hand. He waved back at you, still amazed by what just happened. It took him time to fully register the way you looked genuinely fascinated by what he had to say, the way your fingers touched his for a split second when you took the plushie from his hands, and the way you said his name twice. It rolled out of your lips so naturally and casually that he felt a little sting in his chest. This feels nice, he thought, unfamiliar but nice.
Ever since that day, you kept coming back to the museum and eventually, you got yourself a nice little collection of plushies since you made sure to never leave without buying one. Soon enough, he asked you for your name, then you asked him out on a date, then you became a couple.
The more things you discovered of him along the way, the more you liked him and the more you wanted to know. He was devastatingly beautiful, funny, smart, passionate, gentle, sweet, caring, and so much more. You learned all of that through the first couple of dates you've been on together and to which he made sure to bring you flowers. You could see all of that in him from the very beginning but the horrifying realisation that it was absolutely not reciprocated from his part hit you like a truck. He was a lovely and wonderful man, why couldn't he see that ?
Steven deserved the world and all the best things it had to offer. The words quit your mind as you tried to piece together the things you wanted to communicate to him. You couldn't quite find the right words or phrases to tell him how sad it made you that he didn't see himself the way you did. You wished you could tell him that you wanted to shower him with all the love pouring from your heart. You wish you could tell him how all you wanted was for him to know his beauty and his worth. Your eyes started to water as he was still looking at you, patiently waiting for you to answer. You had a dreadful week so your sensibility was heightened and your emotions were a lot stronger. You didn't have the energy - and honestly didn't really feel the need - to fight the tears running down your cheeks.
"Do you know that I love you, Steven ?. I love you so much it hurts. I love you so much that I don't know what to do with these feelings." Your voice broke with the last words you spoke. You lowered your head on his shoulder and started full-on properly crying. Before he could think about it, his arms flew over your back to take you into his warm embrace, hugging you tighter than usual. His eyes were still awestruck, due to the shock of seeing you burst into tears like that. "Shh, It's okay, babe. I'm here and I love you too." he kept saying while stroking your hair to reassure her, in the way he knew it did. He still couldn't really believe it. You were crying because of him ? Because you loved him ?
Wow. Was all he could think of. While he was heartbroken to see you cry, part of him was secretly happy because you said you loved him. You said you loved him so much that it was distressing. Wow.
Oftentimes, he wondered why you even wanted to be with him. Surely someone so gorgeous and lovely as you could date someone much better, he thought. Everytime he did, he reminded himself that he was a broken piece of man. An empty shell. He truly believed that you would be much happier with someone else - anyone else - than with his depressing, dull and odd person. You deserved someone who could care for you, protect you and make you feel appreciated everyday, not someone who would disappear for days at a time with no previous warning to fight for an Egyptian god. Nevertheless, you seemed to think that he met all the criterias. Seeing you so helpless and distressed because of your love for him, made him feel all kinds of warm inside. You loved him.
And he loved you. He loved you so very much that he didn't think he would be able to express it to its fullest extent in his lifetime. You were the light that pulled him out of his boring day routine and dark lonely nights. You were the only one that listened to what he had to say, that cared and appreciated him no matter how insufferable and deranged he thought he was. You gave him life everyday just by being around him. You were his solace of peace and quiet when all he could feel was the harshness of the world. The only moments where he felt like he was truly alive were the ones he spent watching you, touching you, kissing you. You were the best thing that could have happened to him.
Cupping your face in his hands, he slowly lifted your head so that your tear filled eyes faced his. "I. Love. You." He punctuated every word with gentle kisses on your forehead, on your cheek, and on your lips.
One thing was sure, you loved this man with everything you had and also promised yourself that you'd help him walk out the path of despair he was engaged in and into the true light of happiness, holding, kissing, loving him and his broken pieces every step along the way.
