// b // REQUESTS OPEN
Masterlist // Welcome to Noona-Clock //
BigBang, CNBLUE, BAP, Winner, iKON, Monsta X, Got7, Eric Nam, Day6, SHINEE, Blackpink, BTS,
Nam Joo Hyuk, Park Seo Joon, Kang Ha Neul
You’d never been so nervous to go into a Book Club meeting in your life. Nervous enough that you hadn’t even gotten out of your car to go into the Community Center, yet.
In the week between your last Bad Date-slash-movie night with Brian that felt a little… we’ll say different and now – the day of the Book Club meeting, you and Brian had fallen into a routine that felt exactly the same as it always had.
But also not the same at all.
You still texted each other. You still met up for coffee. You still had debates about insignificant things like whether cereal counted as dinner.
But now… in-between those familiarities…
There were moments.
Small moments, so they were pretty easy to ignore.
But as the days went on, you were beginning to find that maybe they were easier not to. Maybe… you didn’t want to ignore them.
Like the way he’d started remembering things you didn’t recall telling him – your usual takeout order, for instance, including the sauce on the side that you, yourself, frequently forgot.
Or the way you’d caught yourself thinking about that night —
The couch. The blanket. How you’d said nice out loud like it had been too much to keep to yourself.
You hadn’t brought it up to him, though.
Then again, neither had he, which was probably for the best. Because if you did —
Well.
You weren’t entirely sure what would happen, but it was very possible that everything would change. And you were still trying to decide whether or not you wanted things to change. Whether or not that change would be good, because it could, in fact, end very, very badly.
Suddenly, your spiraling thoughts were interrupted by a knock on your window, and your heart leaped up into your throat as you jumped in surprise.
Brian was now standing next to your car, his brow furrowed in confusion, so you let your pulse slow down somewhat before opening the door to get out.
“The meeting is about to start,” he said in lieu of a greeting. “I saw you were still in your car, so I thought I’d wait for you, but then you weren’t getting out.”
“Sorry,” you replied hurriedly, reaching in to grab your copy of Pride & Prejudice before closing your car door. “I was… just zoning out, I guess.”
Brian’s look of confusion morphed into one of concern – a subtle difference, but you caught it.
…And just when did you gain the ability to pick up on the nuances of Brian’s different facial expressions, huh?
Whatever, it’s not important.
“Everything okay?” he asked, his gaze searching your face.
“Of course,” you assured him. “I think I’m just… nervous about who’s going to win the bet. I really don’t want to buy you dinner.”
You’d pulled one corner of your lips up into a smirk as you’d said that, and Brian responded by rolling his eyes.
“Didn’t you just pay for takeout the other night?”
“Because you offered to pick it up,” you pointed out. “That’s different.”
Brian opened his mouth to rebut, but apparently, thought better of it. So, instead, he said, “If we don’t go inside now, we’ll be late, and since I’m leading the discussion…”
“Lead the way,” you said, gesturing toward the entrance.
Brian hesitated briefly, and you could tell he was probably going to ask you if you were sure you were okay – so, you didn’t even give him a chance to.
“Go,” you chuckled, shooing him away from your car and following him. “Like you just said, we’ll be late!”
And, funnily enough (but not actually funny at all), now that Brian was standing/walking next to you, all of your worries seemed to fade into the background of your mind.
“Wait, wait, hold on,” one of your fellow Book Club members, June, said. “I – There’s just no way you told him that you’re a government spy who trains pigeons and he believed it!”
You pressed your lips together to keep from laughing and nodded slowly. “I wish it wasn’t true, but yes, I did tell him that. And he did believe me.”
The rest of the Club burst into laughter.
“I don’t know about you guys,” another member, Aimee, said. “But between the podcast, the emotional evolution, and the government spy, I have to give the bet to Y/N.”
“Your dates were bad, too, Brian,” June added with a friendly but placating smile. “But… I have to agree. Y/N’s dates were definitely worse.”
Every one else nodded and murmured their agreement, and then Aimee led a round of applause for you.
You stood from your chair, plastering an ‘I’m so grateful and humbled’ expression on your face, dramatically clutching your hands at your heart. “Wow, I can’t believe this. I’d like to thank the Academy and my ability to spot red flags from a mile away and, most of all, my best friend, Brian.”
You gestured to him sitting next to you, and he lifted one hand in acknowledgement.
“Without him, this bet wouldn’t have been possible – it would’ve just been me going on three really terrible dates.”
As you’d hoped, the room filled with appreciative chuckles.
“I don’t take this honor lightly, and I will enjoy my free meal with your generosity in mind.”
The Club applauded for you yet again, and after one final smile and wave, you took your seat.
You glanced over at Brian and saw he was clapping along with everyone else – but he was also smiling at you, and the look on his face… You didn’t want to say it was… loving, but… that’s kind of what it felt like.
Were you totally and completely imagining things? Did all of these little moments and gestures and looks actually mean something? Or was your brain being overactive?
…Unfortunately, the quickest and best way to find the answer to that would be to just ask him.
But how?
How on Earth were you supposed to ask one of your closest friends, someone you’d known for years, if the more-than-friendly tension between the two of you was real or if you were just imagining it?
Since the discussion and vote on the bet had followed the discussion of Pride & Prejudice, the Club members began to stand and disperse.
Your mind was too distracted to stay and chat with anyone, so you reached for your book and purse in silence before getting up and heading toward the door.
When you reached the small foyer of the Community Center, though, you felt someone approach you from behind – and then you saw Brian’s arm reach out and open the door for you.
Why were you surprised?
“So,” he began with a sigh. “I owe you dinner.”
To hide the buzz of activity in your brain, you raised your eyebrows and pasted a grin onto your lips. “That you do.”
“Are you… free tonight?” he asked. But then he quickly raised his wrist up to check the time. “Right now, I guess?”
Oh! He wanted to take you out to dinner right now! Tonight!
Okay!
“I am,” you nodded.
Before you could even begin to think of where you wanted to go, Brian took a half-step closer to you and said, “How about… Rue Saint Claire?”
You couldn’t stop yourself from rearing your head back in surprise, just a little, because Rue Saint Claire was a nice restaurant. It wasn’t a Michelin-star, can’t-get-a-reservation place, per se, but it was certainly more upscale and intimate than your usual hangouts.
Your frenzied, overwrought brain told you to ask him if he was sure – wasn’t that place too expensive, too cozy, too date-like?
But what you ended up replying with was, “Sounds great.”
“If you want, we can take my car, and I can drop you back off here after?”
Perfect! Not only has Brian asked to treat you to a dinner at a really nice French restaurant that the two of you had never been to before, but now he was offering to take you there!
This was sounding suspiciously more and more like a date!
“Okay!” you replied, hearing the strain of anxiety creeping into your voice.
But if Brian heard that anxiety, he ignored it. Which was just as well, because how could you explain it to him? Even explaining it to yourself, it sounded insane.
Just to be safe, though, you followed him to his car in silence and kept the conversation during the ride there to an absolute minimum – and even then, you only talked about the Book Club discussion.
But you knew you wouldn’t be able to get away with that at the dinner table, and that was more than a little daunting.
“Are you sure about this?” you murmured just after a very well-dressed maître d’ showed you to your table – a very, very cozy table tucked in the corner of this very, very cozy, dimly-lit restaurant that had soft Parisian instrumental music playing in the background.
“Yes, I’m sure,” Brian chuckled. “We just went on three really bad dates. I think we deserve something nice.”
You had been gazing around the restaurant, taking in just how intimate and quaint and nice and, frankly, romantic it was – but Brian’s answer made your gaze land on him.
“Okay, well, when you put it like that,” you said with a relenting shrug. “Yes, I agree, We deserve something nice.”
A server approached your table, then, and before you could order your usual water or diet soda, Brian requested two glasses of Bordeaux and a cheese plate for the table.
Of course, as soon as the server left, you opened your mouth to protest – but Brian beat you to it.
“We just went over this,” he said with a slight smirk. “We deserve something nice, so we’re getting something nice. You can have as many glasses of wine as you want. I’ll only have the one, and I can drive you home and pick your car up tomorrow if we have to. Deal?”
You slumped down into your chair just a bit, a frown tugging at your lips. Because he realy was doing too much! This wasn’t necessary!
But Brian was Brian, and he wasn’t going to give in. In fact, the more you protested, the more he would dig his heels in and try to make the evening even more extravagant.
“Deal,” you muttered. “Thank you.”
He replied with simply a nod, the corners of his lips forming a soft smile, and that was your final sign to just let it go. Accept your prize for winning the bet, and enjoy this night out with one of your closest friends.
As you waited for the server to return with your wine and cheese, the two of you perused the menu, chatting softly about what sounded good (everything) and whether or not you should share multiple entrees so you could try more (yes, absolutely).
Then, once the server arrived and set down your glasses and plates, took your order, and left, Brian lifted his glass of wine and held it out toward you. You did the same, and since he’d done it first, you waited for him to decide what the ‘cheers’ was for.
“To really, really awful dates,” he said, grinning softly. “May we never go on any more ever again.”
“Oh, I will cheers to that,” you chuckled before gently tapping your glass against his and taking a sip. The wine was deliciously dry and fruity, and honestly, probably the best wine you’d ever tasted. “Wow, this is really good.”
Brian hummed in agreement.
“Anyway,” you sighed, carefully setting your glass down and folding your arms on the edge of the table. “I think I’ve decided that I’m done with dating for a while.”
Maybe forever? Who’s to say?
“Oh?” Brian replied, his brow notched questioningly.
You pressed your lips together and nodded slowly.
And you assumed that Brian would agree with you because why wouldn’t he? He’d been on three bad dates, too. Surely, he was also drained and didn’t want to waste any more time going on dates.
But, to your surprise, he frowned and said, “That’s too bad.”
You frowned right back at him.
“...How so?” you asked, your tone almost one of suspicion.
Because what did he mean?
Brian inhaled deeply then, and… if you didn’t know any better, you’d say he looked… nervous.
But Brian didn’t get nervous. I mean, he’d never been visibly nervous about something the whole time you’d known him, not even during presentations or exams at University.
So what on Earth could be making him nervous now?
“It’s too bad that you don’t want to go on any more dates because I was hoping this could be a date.”
…You blinked at him.
“I – what?” you gaped.
“If you don’t want to –”
“No, wait,” you interrupted, though you weren’t entirely sure why you’d interrupted other than this weird feeling in your gut that you needed to. “I just… I’m… I guess I’m… confused?”
“What, my picking When Harry Met Sally…for movie night wasn’t enough of a hint?” he asked with a chuckle.
What was that supposed to mean?!
“Hint?” you asked dumbly.
“It’s the ultimate friends-to-lovers rom-com,” he explained.
“Well, yeah, I know that, but – what – “
You paused. You took a deep breath. And then you reached over, placing a hand on Brian’s wrist.
“I need you to explain everything to me without leaving out a single detail.”
A smirk tugged at Brian’s lips, and he moved his free hand to cover yours, taking hold of it and lifting it off his arm. But rather than setting your hand back on the table, in your own personal space, he held it. He delicately stroked his thumb over the back of your hand.
And, boy, did that make your stomach do somersaults.
“Going on those dates with those girls who were so completely wrong for me, where I felt so uncomfortable and uneasy, like I couldn’t be myself, and then immediately hanging out with you after each one – where things were completely the opposite – just made me realize that I wasn’t going to find someone who I wanted to spend time with more than I want to spend time with you.”
He paused, then, and you took another breath.
“But… they were bad dates,” you pointed out, though there was barely any strength to your voice at this point.
“I know,” he chuckled. “But that doesn’t matter. I just… know.”
“...Know what?” you whispered.
“That I don’t want anyone else but you. You’re literally everything I could ever want in a partner and more, and… I’m in love with you.”
You simply stopped breathing then, and because of that, you lost the ability to say anything.
After a few moments of silence, Brian started to let go of your hand and said, “It’s okay if you don’t –”
This caused a flurry of panic inside of your chest, and you quickly took his hand back. “No, it’s not – Wait, hold on.”
Brian paused again and, thankfully, didn’t let go of your hand.
“Hold on,” you repeated, trying to give yourself some time to gather your thoughts. "I just need to – so, all of those… moments between us were not my imagination running away with me?”
“No, but I’m curious to hear what moments stood out to you.”
You narrowed your eyes at him, conveying your irritation – Brian may be in love with you, but he was still as obnoxious as ever.
“Well, you didn’t wake me up when I fell asleep on your shoulder, first of all. In fact, it seems like you purposely let me sleep instead of waking me up with your scene-by-scene commentary, plus the volume was lower, and the blanket, and –”
“Yes,” he interrupted. “You may not have noticed that my movie choice had meaning, but at least you noticed all of that.”
“And you got my order right at that one place earlier this week, but I didn’t even tell you what I wanted,” you added.
Brian simply nodded, but then said, “I wanted you to see that I pay attention.”
“And… I don’t know, I’ve just been feeling this… tension. But not a bad tension, just…”
You trailed off, and Brian squeezed your hand.
“I think that tension, as you call it, is just my feelings for you.”
You nodded slowly, allowing his words – the ones he’d just said as well as everything else – settle over you.
You weren’t imagining things. Brian did, indeed, have feelings for you, and he’d been showing you.
But now that you no longer had to worry about that, you did have to worry about… whether or not you felt the same.
“I –” you began. “Bear with me, okay?”
Brian just squeezed your hand again.
“I don’t… know… how I feel about you. I mean, I know that I love you so much as a person, and I cherish your friendship so deeply. I just… don’t know… if it’s more than that. And I don’t mean that in a ‘I don’t think I can ever have more than friendly feelings for you’ way. I mean that I very well could also be… in love with you. I just haven’t realized it. I… I don’t know.”
“You very well could be in love with me?” he asked, eyebrows raised expectantly.
“Well – okay, for example,” you began. “Movie night. I texted you right when I left the restaurant, and I just assumed you would reply immediately. But you didn’t, and… that bothered me. I couldn’t stop thinking about why you weren’t texting me. And, actually, even before that! During my date with Emotionally Evolved guy, I kept thinking about you and if you’d been there and how your date was going and… and hoping you would text me. And then you put your jacket on me. And… and, also, I noticed the tension but wasn’t grossed out, and after I woke up and you said you should leave, I… I wanted you to stay.”
During this quasi-incoherent speech, your gaze had been focused mainly on the table or on Brian’s hand holding yours.
But now, you lifted your eyes to look at him – or, rather, to look back at him, since he was already gazing over at you.
“So… that all kind of sounds like I possibly could have feelings for you,” you admitted, your voice only now betraying how nervous you were.
“Possibly,” Brian agreed. “But I don’t want to rush you or pressure you. If you need some time, you can take as much as you need.”
Honestly, hearing those words lifted a pretty big weight off of your shoulders, and you actually let out a sigh of relief.
I mean, not that you thought Brian would give you an ultimatum or anything. He was obnoxious, but he wasn’t unreasonable.
Most of the time.
“Okay,” you whispered. “Thank you.”
Brian squeezed your hand one last time before letting it go and reaching for the cheese plate.
Surprisingly, the rest of the dinner was incredibly normal. There was no awkwardness, no discomfort, no uneasy silence.
In fact, there may have actually been some flirting?
The idea of flirting with your best friend was still somewhat strange, though, so you couldn’t be sure.
Nonetheless, the food was exquisite, you limited yourself to a singular glass of wine, and… if you were being honest, you couldn’t think of anyone else you’d rather have sitting across the table from you.
When you thought about all of the excruciating dates you’d just been on in the last month, it made tonight seem like the best evening you could possibly imagine.
And then, before you knew it, Brian paid the check, and the two of you made your way out to the parking lot.
Now, this was new. You hadn’t made it this far on any of your bad dates, so you weren’t used to this part of the date. And the fact that you were with Brian?
Your heart began to beat out of your chest.
With the sun long gone and the sky bathed in deep evening blue, a chill had settled into the air, sharp enough to raise goosebumps across your skin.
When you suddenly felt Brian’s hands brush your shoulders, you jumped, realizing your gaze had been glued to the ground – but then, when you actually looked up, you saw he was, yet again, putting his jacket over your shoulders, and a grin sprang to your lips.
The instinct to reach out and take his hand, linking your fingers together, tugged at you. It just felt… natural.
But before you could give into that instinct, Brian murmured, “I’ll get the door for you,” and you discovered you’d already made it to his car.
That instinct was still tugging at you, though, but not necessarily to hold his hand. You just couldn’t figure out what.
And, to top it all off, you also still couldn’t figure out if you returned his feelings.
You kind of assumed that you did, but there hadn’t been any sort of lightbulb moment during dinner. And, for some reason, you needed a lightbulb moment.
So, you moved to stand in front of the car door handle, stopping Brian from opening it. You took a breath, and you turned to face him.
If a lightbulb moment wasn’t going to present itself, then you’d have to invite one on your own.
“Can you…” you began, finding your voice was shakier than you’d prefer.
Were you nervous? Yes, of course. What you were about to ask would change everything. But you didn’t want it to be obvious that you were nervous.
Brian furrowed his brow, his gaze locked on yours.
Y/N, just say it.
“Can you kiss me?”
Brian’s head jerked back in surprise, just slightly, and his mouth fell open to form a small ‘O.’
“Can I –”
“Just to see,” you clarified hurriedly. “Y’know, if I… feel anything.”
He nodded slowly, and said, “Ah, I see.” But you saw a ghost of a smirk on his lips.
As he took one step closer to you, you tilted your head up and closed your eyes, mentally preparing yourself to feel his lips on yours.
…
…
…Any second now.
…
…
You carefully peeked through one eye, seeing that he was still just standing there.
“Are you –”
“Yes,” he chuckled. “I’m getting there. You’re not the only one who’s nervous here, y’know.”
“Okay, sorry.”
You closed your eye again.
“Thank you for your patience,” he murmured. He had, apparently, stepped even closer because you could feel his breath on your forehead.
“You’re welcome,” you whispered.
And then, you felt his fingers gently brushing against your cheek — so lightly and carefully, like he was giving you time to pull away if you wanted to.
But you didn’t pull away.
His palm curved around your cheek, and just after his thumb delicately pushed up under your chin to tilt your head… he kissed you.
His lips were soft against yours, wanting but not at all desperate, and it took you less than a second to decide that it was the sweetest yet most devastating kiss of your life so far.
…And also the most brief.
As slow as he’d been to initiate the kiss, he was just as quick to end it.
When he pulled back, you blinked at him.
“...Was it that bad?” you asked, your voice barely a whisper.
“What? No,” he answered. “What do you mean?”
And you realized that your response was going to tell him everything he needed to know about your feelings – it would tell you everything you needed to know about your feelings.
“You ended it too soon.”
Unsurprisingly, one corner of Brian’s mouth tugged up into a half-grin, and he laughed softly.
“My apologies,” he chuckled before swiftly and smoothly capturing your lips in another kiss.
This time, you slid your arms around his middle, resting your hands on his back and gently clutching his shirt in your fingers. And, after a few moments, you even rose up onto your toes, giving him every indication that you were, indeed, kissing him back.
Really kissing him back, as if you’d been kissing each other for years.
And, honestly, maybe that was your lightbulb moment.
Not the kiss itself, not the butterflies in your stomach or the warmth blooming through your chest, or even the way your heart was now on a mission to beat itself right out of your body.
No, the lightbulb moment was just… how easy it felt. How natural.
There was no awkwardness, no uncertainty, no pressure to perform or impress or carefully calculate your every movement the way you had on every terrible date over the past month – or any date you’d ever been on in your whole adolescent and adult life, actually.
You weren’t wondering what Brian thought of you.
Because you already knew.
And you trusted it. You trusted him.
This realization settled somewhere deep inside you, so suddenly and so completely that it almost stole the breath from your lungs.
This wasn’t mentally or emotionally draining, and it wasn’t forced...
…It was Brian. Warm and familiar and safe in a way that felt almost life-altering now that you finally understood it.
When you finally pulled back, it was only far enough to look at him.
He tipped his forehead just enough, resting it lightly against yours. His hands were still steady against you, giving you every indication that he had no intention of letting go anytime soon.
And honestly?
Good.
A soft laugh escaped you, breathless and disbelieving all at once.
“…Yeah,” you murmured. “I love you, too.”
You felt him smile before you kissed him again.
“Can you turn on the TV?” you called out from the kitchen as you put away the leftover pizza and prepared to recycle the boxes.
“You got it,” Brian replied, and you heard him let out a soft groan, presumably as he plopped down onto your couch.
After you slid the leftovers into your fridge and popped into your garage to stuff the boxes in the recycling bin, you rushed over to the kitchen sink to wash your hands.
“Do you want anything else?” you asked, drying your hands with a towel.
“No, just you, get in here!” Brian answered with a slight whine.
“All right, I’m coming,” you chuckled.
Once your hands were dry (enough), you shuffled out of the kitchen and into your living room, hurrying around the back of the couch.
Brian held out his arm for you, impatiently waggling his fingers to invite you next to him.
“Goodness,” you sighed as you settled in at his side, a grin curving your lips when you felt his arm curl around and behind you, his hand landing on your hip and patting it affectionately. “So clingy tonight.”
“Tonight?” he asked. He then leaned even more toward you, pressing his lips to your temple. “I’m always clingy.”
“Mm, true,” you murmured.
Ever since that night – your official first date at Rue Saint Claire and the kiss in the parking lot – you’d spent time with Brian every day, without fail. You had each extended open invitations to each other’s home, and while you had cashed in on yours more than a few times to go and listen to him practice his music, Brian had basically become your permanent houseguest (not that you were complaining).
He also took you out whenever you both had time – dinners, lunches, breakfasts, plays and musicals, walks in the park, concerts, used bookstore crawls, museums.
But you had to say, your favorite dates were those just like tonight – cozy movie nights at your place, just like old times.
Except now, of course, there was exponentially more cuddling and kissing involved.
Brian leaned back against the couch then, remote in hand as he scrolled through the options.
“Okay,” he said after a moment. “I’m thinking Pride & Prejudice.”
But you had something else in mind, and you didn’t even hesitate to reply with, “No.”
Brian huffed out a quiet, bemused laugh. “Wow. Immediate rejection.”
“Well, I know what I want,” you stated. “Put on Northanger Abbey.”
At that, Brian turned his head to look at you properly, one eyebrow lifting in amusement.
“…Seriously?”
“Yes, seriously,” you nodded.
“You’re choosing Northanger Abbey over Pride & Prejudice?”
“Absolutely.”
“You?” he asked dramatically, placing one hand against his chest. “You, who has watched the 2005 Pride & Prejudice enough times to qualify for residency at Pemberley?”
You snorted. “First of all, rude,” you replied, even though it was certainly true. “Second of all, this is different.”
“Oh?” Brian asked, clearly entertained now. “And how exactly is this different?”
You shrugged lightly, trying – and failing – to look unaffected and casual.
“...Well,” you began slowly, “I’m dating Henry Tilney now, so...”
The grin that spread across Brian’s face was immediate and helpless all at once.
“Oh, my god,” he laughed softly. “You’re still on this?”
“You’re the one who brought up Mr. Darcy in the first place,” you reminded him.
“Yeah, and you destroyed my argument in under thirty seconds.”
“Because I was right! I am right!”
Brian shook his head fondly before shifting closer, his arm tightening around your waist. “And you’re still standing by that?” he murmured.
“I am,” you replied easily. “You’re not brooding enough to be Darcy.”
“Wow.”
“You smile too much,” you continued.
“Wow.”
“You actually enjoy talking to people.”
“Okay, that one feels personal.”
You laughed quietly as he pressed another kiss to the side of your head.
“And besides,” you added more softly, curling a little closer into his side, “Henry Tilney was always my favorite, anyway.”
That earned you a moment of unusual silence.
Not awkward silence, just unusual since, as you just established, Brian typically enjoyed talking.
You titled your head up to see Brian looking at you with that same unbearably warm expression that still made your chest feel too full every time you caught it directed at you.
“…Yeah?” he asked quietly, searching your face as affection poured out of his gaze.
“Yeah,” you whispered.
His smile softened into something almost shy before he leaned down to kiss you – a kiss slow and familiar by now, yet still capable of making your heart trip over itself.
When he pulled back, he rested his forehead briefly against yours.
“Well,” he murmured, voice warm with amusement, “good thing you ended up with him, then.”
You’d never been so nervous to go into a Book Club meeting in your life. Nervous enough that you hadn’t even gotten out of your car to go into the Community Center, yet.
In the week between your last Bad Date-slash-movie night with Brian that felt a little… we’ll say different and now – the day of the Book Club meeting, you and Brian had fallen into a routine that felt exactly the same as it always had.
But also not the same at all.
You still texted each other. You still met up for coffee. You still had debates about insignificant things like whether cereal counted as dinner.
But now… in-between those familiarities…
There were moments.
Small moments, so they were pretty easy to ignore.
But as the days went on, you were beginning to find that maybe they were easier not to. Maybe… you didn’t want to ignore them.
Like the way he’d started remembering things you didn’t recall telling him – your usual takeout order, for instance, including the sauce on the side that you, yourself, frequently forgot.
Or the way you’d caught yourself thinking about that night —
The couch. The blanket. How you’d said nice out loud like it had been too much to keep to yourself.
You hadn’t brought it up to him, though.
Then again, neither had he, which was probably for the best. Because if you did —
Well.
You weren’t entirely sure what would happen, but it was very possible that everything would change. And you were still trying to decide whether or not you wanted things to change. Whether or not that change would be good, because it could, in fact, end very, very badly.
Suddenly, your spiraling thoughts were interrupted by a knock on your window, and your heart leaped up into your throat as you jumped in surprise.
Brian was now standing next to your car, his brow furrowed in confusion, so you let your pulse slow down somewhat before opening the door to get out.
“The meeting is about to start,” he said in lieu of a greeting. “I saw you were still in your car, so I thought I’d wait for you, but then you weren’t getting out.”
“Sorry,” you replied hurriedly, reaching in to grab your copy of Pride & Prejudice before closing your car door. “I was… just zoning out, I guess.”
Brian’s look of confusion morphed into one of concern – a subtle difference, but you caught it.
…And just when did you gain the ability to pick up on the nuances of Brian’s different facial expressions, huh?
Whatever, it’s not important.
“Everything okay?” he asked, his gaze searching your face.
“Of course,” you assured him. “I think I’m just… nervous about who’s going to win the bet. I really don’t want to buy you dinner.”
You’d pulled one corner of your lips up into a smirk as you’d said that, and Brian responded by rolling his eyes.
“Didn’t you just pay for takeout the other night?”
“Because you offered to pick it up,” you pointed out. “That’s different.”
Brian opened his mouth to rebut, but apparently, thought better of it. So, instead, he said, “If we don’t go inside now, we’ll be late, and since I’m leading the discussion…”
“Lead the way,” you said, gesturing toward the entrance.
Brian hesitated briefly, and you could tell he was probably going to ask you if you were sure you were okay – so, you didn’t even give him a chance to.
“Go,” you chuckled, shooing him away from your car and following him. “Like you just said, we’ll be late!”
And, funnily enough (but not actually funny at all), now that Brian was standing/walking next to you, all of your worries seemed to fade into the background of your mind.
“Wait, wait, hold on,” one of your fellow Book Club members, June, said. “I – There’s just no way you told him that you’re a government spy who trains pigeons and he believed it!”
You pressed your lips together to keep from laughing and nodded slowly. “I wish it wasn’t true, but yes, I did tell him that. And he did believe me.”
The rest of the Club burst into laughter.
“I don’t know about you guys,” another member, Aimee, said. “But between the podcast, the emotional evolution, and the government spy, I have to give the bet to Y/N.”
“Your dates were bad, too, Brian,” June added with a friendly but placating smile. “But… I have to agree. Y/N’s dates were definitely worse.”
Every one else nodded and murmured their agreement, and then Aimee led a round of applause for you.
You stood from your chair, plastering an ‘I’m so grateful and humbled’ expression on your face, dramatically clutching your hands at your heart. “Wow, I can’t believe this. I’d like to thank the Academy and my ability to spot red flags from a mile away and, most of all, my best friend, Brian.”
You gestured to him sitting next to you, and he lifted one hand in acknowledgement.
“Without him, this bet wouldn’t have been possible – it would’ve just been me going on three really terrible dates.”
As you’d hoped, the room filled with appreciative chuckles.
“I don’t take this honor lightly, and I will enjoy my free meal with your generosity in mind.”
The Club applauded for you yet again, and after one final smile and wave, you took your seat.
You glanced over at Brian and saw he was clapping along with everyone else – but he was also smiling at you, and the look on his face… You didn’t want to say it was… loving, but… that’s kind of what it felt like.
Were you totally and completely imagining things? Did all of these little moments and gestures and looks actually mean something? Or was your brain being overactive?
…Unfortunately, the quickest and best way to find the answer to that would be to just ask him.
But how?
How on Earth were you supposed to ask one of your closest friends, someone you’d known for years, if the more-than-friendly tension between the two of you was real or if you were just imagining it?
Since the discussion and vote on the bet had followed the discussion of Pride & Prejudice, the Club members began to stand and disperse.
Your mind was too distracted to stay and chat with anyone, so you reached for your book and purse in silence before getting up and heading toward the door.
When you reached the small foyer of the Community Center, though, you felt someone approach you from behind – and then you saw Brian’s arm reach out and open the door for you.
Why were you surprised?
“So,” he began with a sigh. “I owe you dinner.”
To hide the buzz of activity in your brain, you raised your eyebrows and pasted a grin onto your lips. “That you do.”
“Are you… free tonight?” he asked. But then he quickly raised his wrist up to check the time. “Right now, I guess?”
Oh! He wanted to take you out to dinner right now! Tonight!
Okay!
“I am,” you nodded.
Before you could even begin to think of where you wanted to go, Brian took a half-step closer to you and said, “How about… Rue Saint Claire?”
You couldn’t stop yourself from rearing your head back in surprise, just a little, because Rue Saint Claire was a nice restaurant. It wasn’t a Michelin-star, can’t-get-a-reservation place, per se, but it was certainly more upscale and intimate than your usual hangouts.
Your frenzied, overwrought brain told you to ask him if he was sure – wasn’t that place too expensive, too cozy, too date-like?
But what you ended up replying with was, “Sounds great.”
“If you want, we can take my car, and I can drop you back off here after?”
Perfect! Not only has Brian asked to treat you to a dinner at a really nice French restaurant that the two of you had never been to before, but now he was offering to take you there!
This was sounding suspiciously more and more like a date!
“Okay!” you replied, hearing the strain of anxiety creeping into your voice.
But if Brian heard that anxiety, he ignored it. Which was just as well, because how could you explain it to him? Even explaining it to yourself, it sounded insane.
Just to be safe, though, you followed him to his car in silence and kept the conversation during the ride there to an absolute minimum – and even then, you only talked about the Book Club discussion.
But you knew you wouldn’t be able to get away with that at the dinner table, and that was more than a little daunting.
“Are you sure about this?” you murmured just after a very well-dressed maître d’ showed you to your table – a very, very cozy table tucked in the corner of this very, very cozy, dimly-lit restaurant that had soft Parisian instrumental music playing in the background.
“Yes, I’m sure,” Brian chuckled. “We just went on three really bad dates. I think we deserve something nice.”
You had been gazing around the restaurant, taking in just how intimate and quaint and nice and, frankly, romantic it was – but Brian’s answer made your gaze land on him.
“Okay, well, when you put it like that,” you said with a relenting shrug. “Yes, I agree, We deserve something nice.”
A server approached your table, then, and before you could order your usual water or diet soda, Brian requested two glasses of Bordeaux and a cheese plate for the table.
Of course, as soon as the server left, you opened your mouth to protest – but Brian beat you to it.
“We just went over this,” he said with a slight smirk. “We deserve something nice, so we’re getting something nice. You can have as many glasses of wine as you want. I’ll only have the one, and I can drive you home and pick your car up tomorrow if we have to. Deal?”
You slumped down into your chair just a bit, a frown tugging at your lips. Because he realy was doing too much! This wasn’t necessary!
But Brian was Brian, and he wasn’t going to give in. In fact, the more you protested, the more he would dig his heels in and try to make the evening even more extravagant.
“Deal,” you muttered. “Thank you.”
He replied with simply a nod, the corners of his lips forming a soft smile, and that was your final sign to just let it go. Accept your prize for winning the bet, and enjoy this night out with one of your closest friends.
As you waited for the server to return with your wine and cheese, the two of you perused the menu, chatting softly about what sounded good (everything) and whether or not you should share multiple entrees so you could try more (yes, absolutely).
Then, once the server arrived and set down your glasses and plates, took your order, and left, Brian lifted his glass of wine and held it out toward you. You did the same, and since he’d done it first, you waited for him to decide what the ‘cheers’ was for.
“To really, really awful dates,” he said, grinning softly. “May we never go on any more ever again.”
“Oh, I will cheers to that,” you chuckled before gently tapping your glass against his and taking a sip. The wine was deliciously dry and fruity, and honestly, probably the best wine you’d ever tasted. “Wow, this is really good.”
Brian hummed in agreement.
“Anyway,” you sighed, carefully setting your glass down and folding your arms on the edge of the table. “I think I’ve decided that I’m done with dating for a while.”
Maybe forever? Who’s to say?
“Oh?” Brian replied, his brow notched questioningly.
You pressed your lips together and nodded slowly.
And you assumed that Brian would agree with you because why wouldn’t he? He’d been on three bad dates, too. Surely, he was also drained and didn’t want to waste any more time going on dates.
But, to your surprise, he frowned and said, “That’s too bad.”
You frowned right back at him.
“...How so?” you asked, your tone almost one of suspicion.
Because what did he mean?
Brian inhaled deeply then, and… if you didn’t know any better, you’d say he looked… nervous.
But Brian didn’t get nervous. I mean, he’d never been visibly nervous about something the whole time you’d known him, not even during presentations or exams at University.
So what on Earth could be making him nervous now?
“It’s too bad that you don’t want to go on any more dates because I was hoping this could be a date.”
…You blinked at him.
“I – what?” you gaped.
“If you don’t want to –”
“No, wait,” you interrupted, though you weren’t entirely sure why you’d interrupted other than this weird feeling in your gut that you needed to. “I just… I’m… I guess I’m… confused?”
“What, my picking When Harry Met Sally…for movie night wasn’t enough of a hint?” he asked with a chuckle.
What was that supposed to mean?!
“Hint?” you asked dumbly.
“It’s the ultimate friends-to-lovers rom-com,” he explained.
“Well, yeah, I know that, but – what – “
You paused. You took a deep breath. And then you reached over, placing a hand on Brian’s wrist.
“I need you to explain everything to me without leaving out a single detail.”
A smirk tugged at Brian’s lips, and he moved his free hand to cover yours, taking hold of it and lifting it off his arm. But rather than setting your hand back on the table, in your own personal space, he held it. He delicately stroked his thumb over the back of your hand.
And, boy, did that make your stomach do somersaults.
“Going on those dates with those girls who were so completely wrong for me, where I felt so uncomfortable and uneasy, like I couldn’t be myself, and then immediately hanging out with you after each one – where things were completely the opposite – just made me realize that I wasn’t going to find someone who I wanted to spend time with more than I want to spend time with you.”
He paused, then, and you took another breath.
“But… they were bad dates,” you pointed out, though there was barely any strength to your voice at this point.
“I know,” he chuckled. “But that doesn’t matter. I just… know.”
“...Know what?” you whispered.
“That I don’t want anyone else but you. You’re literally everything I could ever want in a partner and more, and… I’m in love with you.”
You simply stopped breathing then, and because of that, you lost the ability to say anything.
After a few moments of silence, Brian started to let go of your hand and said, “It’s okay if you don’t –”
This caused a flurry of panic inside of your chest, and you quickly took his hand back. “No, it’s not – Wait, hold on.”
Brian paused again and, thankfully, didn’t let go of your hand.
“Hold on,” you repeated, trying to give yourself some time to gather your thoughts. "I just need to – so, all of those… moments between us were not my imagination running away with me?”
“No, but I’m curious to hear what moments stood out to you.”
You narrowed your eyes at him, conveying your irritation – Brian may be in love with you, but he was still as obnoxious as ever.
“Well, you didn’t wake me up when I fell asleep on your shoulder, first of all. In fact, it seems like you purposely let me sleep instead of waking me up with your scene-by-scene commentary, plus the volume was lower, and the blanket, and –”
“Yes,” he interrupted. “You may not have noticed that my movie choice had meaning, but at least you noticed all of that.”
“And you got my order right at that one place earlier this week, but I didn’t even tell you what I wanted,” you added.
Brian simply nodded, but then said, “I wanted you to see that I pay attention.”
“And… I don’t know, I’ve just been feeling this… tension. But not a bad tension, just…”
You trailed off, and Brian squeezed your hand.
“I think that tension, as you call it, is just my feelings for you.”
You nodded slowly, allowing his words – the ones he’d just said as well as everything else – settle over you.
You weren’t imagining things. Brian did, indeed, have feelings for you, and he’d been showing you.
But now that you no longer had to worry about that, you did have to worry about… whether or not you felt the same.
“I –” you began. “Bear with me, okay?”
Brian just squeezed your hand again.
“I don’t… know… how I feel about you. I mean, I know that I love you so much as a person, and I cherish your friendship so deeply. I just… don’t know… if it’s more than that. And I don’t mean that in a ‘I don’t think I can ever have more than friendly feelings for you’ way. I mean that I very well could also be… in love with you. I just haven’t realized it. I… I don’t know.”
“You very well could be in love with me?” he asked, eyebrows raised expectantly.
“Well – okay, for example,” you began. “Movie night. I texted you right when I left the restaurant, and I just assumed you would reply immediately. But you didn’t, and… that bothered me. I couldn’t stop thinking about why you weren’t texting me. And, actually, even before that! During my date with Emotionally Evolved guy, I kept thinking about you and if you’d been there and how your date was going and… and hoping you would text me. And then you put your jacket on me. And… and, also, I noticed the tension but wasn’t grossed out, and after I woke up and you said you should leave, I… I wanted you to stay.”
During this quasi-incoherent speech, your gaze had been focused mainly on the table or on Brian’s hand holding yours.
But now, you lifted your eyes to look at him – or, rather, to look back at him, since he was already gazing over at you.
“So… that all kind of sounds like I possibly could have feelings for you,” you admitted, your voice only now betraying how nervous you were.
“Possibly,” Brian agreed. “But I don’t want to rush you or pressure you. If you need some time, you can take as much as you need.”
Honestly, hearing those words lifted a pretty big weight off of your shoulders, and you actually let out a sigh of relief.
I mean, not that you thought Brian would give you an ultimatum or anything. He was obnoxious, but he wasn’t unreasonable.
Most of the time.
“Okay,” you whispered. “Thank you.”
Brian squeezed your hand one last time before letting it go and reaching for the cheese plate.
Surprisingly, the rest of the dinner was incredibly normal. There was no awkwardness, no discomfort, no uneasy silence.
In fact, there may have actually been some flirting?
The idea of flirting with your best friend was still somewhat strange, though, so you couldn’t be sure.
Nonetheless, the food was exquisite, you limited yourself to a singular glass of wine, and… if you were being honest, you couldn’t think of anyone else you’d rather have sitting across the table from you.
When you thought about all of the excruciating dates you’d just been on in the last month, it made tonight seem like the best evening you could possibly imagine.
And then, before you knew it, Brian paid the check, and the two of you made your way out to the parking lot.
Now, this was new. You hadn’t made it this far on any of your bad dates, so you weren’t used to this part of the date. And the fact that you were with Brian?
Your heart began to beat out of your chest.
With the sun long gone and the sky bathed in deep evening blue, a chill had settled into the air, sharp enough to raise goosebumps across your skin.
When you suddenly felt Brian’s hands brush your shoulders, you jumped, realizing your gaze had been glued to the ground – but then, when you actually looked up, you saw he was, yet again, putting his jacket over your shoulders, and a grin sprang to your lips.
The instinct to reach out and take his hand, linking your fingers together, tugged at you. It just felt… natural.
But before you could give into that instinct, Brian murmured, “I’ll get the door for you,” and you discovered you’d already made it to his car.
That instinct was still tugging at you, though, but not necessarily to hold his hand. You just couldn’t figure out what.
And, to top it all off, you also still couldn’t figure out if you returned his feelings.
You kind of assumed that you did, but there hadn’t been any sort of lightbulb moment during dinner. And, for some reason, you needed a lightbulb moment.
So, you moved to stand in front of the car door handle, stopping Brian from opening it. You took a breath, and you turned to face him.
If a lightbulb moment wasn’t going to present itself, then you’d have to invite one on your own.
“Can you…” you began, finding your voice was shakier than you’d prefer.
Were you nervous? Yes, of course. What you were about to ask would change everything. But you didn’t want it to be obvious that you were nervous.
Brian furrowed his brow, his gaze locked on yours.
Y/N, just say it.
“Can you kiss me?”
Brian’s head jerked back in surprise, just slightly, and his mouth fell open to form a small ‘O.’
“Can I –”
“Just to see,” you clarified hurriedly. “Y’know, if I… feel anything.”
He nodded slowly, and said, “Ah, I see.” But you saw a ghost of a smirk on his lips.
As he took one step closer to you, you tilted your head up and closed your eyes, mentally preparing yourself to feel his lips on yours.
…
…
…Any second now.
…
…
You carefully peeked through one eye, seeing that he was still just standing there.
“Are you –”
“Yes,” he chuckled. “I’m getting there. You’re not the only one who’s nervous here, y’know.”
“Okay, sorry.”
You closed your eye again.
“Thank you for your patience,” he murmured. He had, apparently, stepped even closer because you could feel his breath on your forehead.
“You’re welcome,” you whispered.
And then, you felt his fingers gently brushing against your cheek — so lightly and carefully, like he was giving you time to pull away if you wanted to.
But you didn’t pull away.
His palm curved around your cheek, and just after his thumb delicately pushed up under your chin to tilt your head… he kissed you.
His lips were soft against yours, wanting but not at all desperate, and it took you less than a second to decide that it was the sweetest yet most devastating kiss of your life so far.
…And also the most brief.
As slow as he’d been to initiate the kiss, he was just as quick to end it.
When he pulled back, you blinked at him.
“...Was it that bad?” you asked, your voice barely a whisper.
“What? No,” he answered. “What do you mean?”
And you realized that your response was going to tell him everything he needed to know about your feelings – it would tell you everything you needed to know about your feelings.
“You ended it too soon.”
Unsurprisingly, one corner of Brian’s mouth tugged up into a half-grin, and he laughed softly.
“My apologies,” he chuckled before swiftly and smoothly capturing your lips in another kiss.
This time, you slid your arms around his middle, resting your hands on his back and gently clutching his shirt in your fingers. And, after a few moments, you even rose up onto your toes, giving him every indication that you were, indeed, kissing him back.
Really kissing him back, as if you’d been kissing each other for years.
And, honestly, maybe that was your lightbulb moment.
Not the kiss itself, not the butterflies in your stomach or the warmth blooming through your chest, or even the way your heart was now on a mission to beat itself right out of your body.
No, the lightbulb moment was just… how easy it felt. How natural.
There was no awkwardness, no uncertainty, no pressure to perform or impress or carefully calculate your every movement the way you had on every terrible date over the past month – or any date you’d ever been on in your whole adolescent and adult life, actually.
You weren’t wondering what Brian thought of you.
Because you already knew.
And you trusted it. You trusted him.
This realization settled somewhere deep inside you, so suddenly and so completely that it almost stole the breath from your lungs.
This wasn’t mentally or emotionally draining, and it wasn’t forced...
…It was Brian. Warm and familiar and safe in a way that felt almost life-altering now that you finally understood it.
When you finally pulled back, it was only far enough to look at him.
He tipped his forehead just enough, resting it lightly against yours. His hands were still steady against you, giving you every indication that he had no intention of letting go anytime soon.
And honestly?
Good.
A soft laugh escaped you, breathless and disbelieving all at once.
“…Yeah,” you murmured. “I love you, too.”
You felt him smile before you kissed him again.
“Can you turn on the TV?” you called out from the kitchen as you put away the leftover pizza and prepared to recycle the boxes.
“You got it,” Brian replied, and you heard him let out a soft groan, presumably as he plopped down onto your couch.
After you slid the leftovers into your fridge and popped into your garage to stuff the boxes in the recycling bin, you rushed over to the kitchen sink to wash your hands.
“Do you want anything else?” you asked, drying your hands with a towel.
“No, just you, get in here!” Brian answered with a slight whine.
“All right, I’m coming,” you chuckled.
Once your hands were dry (enough), you shuffled out of the kitchen and into your living room, hurrying around the back of the couch.
Brian held out his arm for you, impatiently waggling his fingers to invite you next to him.
“Goodness,” you sighed as you settled in at his side, a grin curving your lips when you felt his arm curl around and behind you, his hand landing on your hip and patting it affectionately. “So clingy tonight.”
“Tonight?” he asked. He then leaned even more toward you, pressing his lips to your temple. “I’m always clingy.”
“Mm, true,” you murmured.
Ever since that night – your official first date at Rue Saint Claire and the kiss in the parking lot – you’d spent time with Brian every day, without fail. You had each extended open invitations to each other’s home, and while you had cashed in on yours more than a few times to go and listen to him practice his music, Brian had basically become your permanent houseguest (not that you were complaining).
He also took you out whenever you both had time – dinners, lunches, breakfasts, plays and musicals, walks in the park, concerts, used bookstore crawls, museums.
But you had to say, your favorite dates were those just like tonight – cozy movie nights at your place, just like old times.
Except now, of course, there was exponentially more cuddling and kissing involved.
Brian leaned back against the couch then, remote in hand as he scrolled through the options.
“Okay,” he said after a moment. “I’m thinking Pride & Prejudice.”
But you had something else in mind, and you didn’t even hesitate to reply with, “No.”
Brian huffed out a quiet, bemused laugh. “Wow. Immediate rejection.”
“Well, I know what I want,” you stated. “Put on Northanger Abbey.”
At that, Brian turned his head to look at you properly, one eyebrow lifting in amusement.
“…Seriously?”
“Yes, seriously,” you nodded.
“You’re choosing Northanger Abbey over Pride & Prejudice?”
“Absolutely.”
“You?” he asked dramatically, placing one hand against his chest. “You, who has watched the 2005 Pride & Prejudice enough times to qualify for residency at Pemberley?”
You snorted. “First of all, rude,” you replied, even though it was certainly true. “Second of all, this is different.”
“Oh?” Brian asked, clearly entertained now. “And how exactly is this different?”
You shrugged lightly, trying – and failing – to look unaffected and casual.
“...Well,” you began slowly, “I’m dating Henry Tilney now, so...”
The grin that spread across Brian’s face was immediate and helpless all at once.
“Oh, my god,” he laughed softly. “You’re still on this?”
“You’re the one who brought up Mr. Darcy in the first place,” you reminded him.
“Yeah, and you destroyed my argument in under thirty seconds.”
“Because I was right! I am right!”
Brian shook his head fondly before shifting closer, his arm tightening around your waist. “And you’re still standing by that?” he murmured.
“I am,” you replied easily. “You’re not brooding enough to be Darcy.”
“Wow.”
“You smile too much,” you continued.
“Wow.”
“You actually enjoy talking to people.”
“Okay, that one feels personal.”
You laughed quietly as he pressed another kiss to the side of your head.
“And besides,” you added more softly, curling a little closer into his side, “Henry Tilney was always my favorite, anyway.”
That earned you a moment of unusual silence.
Not awkward silence, just unusual since, as you just established, Brian typically enjoyed talking.
You titled your head up to see Brian looking at you with that same unbearably warm expression that still made your chest feel too full every time you caught it directed at you.
“…Yeah?” he asked quietly, searching your face as affection poured out of his gaze.
“Yeah,” you whispered.
His smile softened into something almost shy before he leaned down to kiss you – a kiss slow and familiar by now, yet still capable of making your heart trip over itself.
When he pulled back, he rested his forehead briefly against yours.
“Well,” he murmured, voice warm with amusement, “good thing you ended up with him, then.”
You’d never been so nervous to go into a Book Club meeting in your life. Nervous enough that you hadn’t even gotten out of your car to go into the Community Center, yet.
In the week between your last Bad Date-slash-movie night with Brian that felt a little… we’ll say different and now – the day of the Book Club meeting, you and Brian had fallen into a routine that felt exactly the same as it always had.
But also not the same at all.
You still texted each other. You still met up for coffee. You still had debates about insignificant things like whether cereal counted as dinner.
But now… in-between those familiarities…
There were moments.
Small moments, so they were pretty easy to ignore.
But as the days went on, you were beginning to find that maybe they were easier not to. Maybe… you didn’t want to ignore them.
Like the way he’d started remembering things you didn’t recall telling him – your usual takeout order, for instance, including the sauce on the side that you, yourself, frequently forgot.
Or the way you’d caught yourself thinking about that night —
The couch. The blanket. How you’d said nice out loud like it had been too much to keep to yourself.
You hadn’t brought it up to him, though.
Then again, neither had he, which was probably for the best. Because if you did —
Well.
You weren’t entirely sure what would happen, but it was very possible that everything would change. And you were still trying to decide whether or not you wanted things to change. Whether or not that change would be good, because it could, in fact, end very, very badly.
Suddenly, your spiraling thoughts were interrupted by a knock on your window, and your heart leaped up into your throat as you jumped in surprise.
Brian was now standing next to your car, his brow furrowed in confusion, so you let your pulse slow down somewhat before opening the door to get out.
“The meeting is about to start,” he said in lieu of a greeting. “I saw you were still in your car, so I thought I’d wait for you, but then you weren’t getting out.”
“Sorry,” you replied hurriedly, reaching in to grab your copy of Pride & Prejudice before closing your car door. “I was… just zoning out, I guess.”
Brian’s look of confusion morphed into one of concern – a subtle difference, but you caught it.
…And just when did you gain the ability to pick up on the nuances of Brian’s different facial expressions, huh?
Whatever, it’s not important.
“Everything okay?” he asked, his gaze searching your face.
“Of course,” you assured him. “I think I’m just… nervous about who’s going to win the bet. I really don’t want to buy you dinner.”
You’d pulled one corner of your lips up into a smirk as you’d said that, and Brian responded by rolling his eyes.
“Didn’t you just pay for takeout the other night?”
“Because you offered to pick it up,” you pointed out. “That’s different.”
Brian opened his mouth to rebut, but apparently, thought better of it. So, instead, he said, “If we don’t go inside now, we’ll be late, and since I’m leading the discussion…”
“Lead the way,” you said, gesturing toward the entrance.
Brian hesitated briefly, and you could tell he was probably going to ask you if you were sure you were okay – so, you didn’t even give him a chance to.
“Go,” you chuckled, shooing him away from your car and following him. “Like you just said, we’ll be late!”
And, funnily enough (but not actually funny at all), now that Brian was standing/walking next to you, all of your worries seemed to fade into the background of your mind.
“Wait, wait, hold on,” one of your fellow Book Club members, June, said. “I – There’s just no way you told him that you’re a government spy who trains pigeons and he believed it!”
You pressed your lips together to keep from laughing and nodded slowly. “I wish it wasn’t true, but yes, I did tell him that. And he did believe me.”
The rest of the Club burst into laughter.
“I don’t know about you guys,” another member, Aimee, said. “But between the podcast, the emotional evolution, and the government spy, I have to give the bet to Y/N.”
“Your dates were bad, too, Brian,” June added with a friendly but placating smile. “But… I have to agree. Y/N’s dates were definitely worse.”
Every one else nodded and murmured their agreement, and then Aimee led a round of applause for you.
You stood from your chair, plastering an ‘I’m so grateful and humbled’ expression on your face, dramatically clutching your hands at your heart. “Wow, I can’t believe this. I’d like to thank the Academy and my ability to spot red flags from a mile away and, most of all, my best friend, Brian.”
You gestured to him sitting next to you, and he lifted one hand in acknowledgement.
“Without him, this bet wouldn’t have been possible – it would’ve just been me going on three really terrible dates.”
As you’d hoped, the room filled with appreciative chuckles.
“I don’t take this honor lightly, and I will enjoy my free meal with your generosity in mind.”
The Club applauded for you yet again, and after one final smile and wave, you took your seat.
You glanced over at Brian and saw he was clapping along with everyone else – but he was also smiling at you, and the look on his face… You didn’t want to say it was… loving, but… that’s kind of what it felt like.
Were you totally and completely imagining things? Did all of these little moments and gestures and looks actually mean something? Or was your brain being overactive?
…Unfortunately, the quickest and best way to find the answer to that would be to just ask him.
But how?
How on Earth were you supposed to ask one of your closest friends, someone you’d known for years, if the more-than-friendly tension between the two of you was real or if you were just imagining it?
Since the discussion and vote on the bet had followed the discussion of Pride & Prejudice, the Club members began to stand and disperse.
Your mind was too distracted to stay and chat with anyone, so you reached for your book and purse in silence before getting up and heading toward the door.
When you reached the small foyer of the Community Center, though, you felt someone approach you from behind – and then you saw Brian’s arm reach out and open the door for you.
Why were you surprised?
“So,” he began with a sigh. “I owe you dinner.”
To hide the buzz of activity in your brain, you raised your eyebrows and pasted a grin onto your lips. “That you do.”
“Are you… free tonight?” he asked. But then he quickly raised his wrist up to check the time. “Right now, I guess?”
Oh! He wanted to take you out to dinner right now! Tonight!
Okay!
“I am,” you nodded.
Before you could even begin to think of where you wanted to go, Brian took a half-step closer to you and said, “How about… Rue Saint Claire?”
You couldn’t stop yourself from rearing your head back in surprise, just a little, because Rue Saint Claire was a nice restaurant. It wasn’t a Michelin-star, can’t-get-a-reservation place, per se, but it was certainly more upscale and intimate than your usual hangouts.
Your frenzied, overwrought brain told you to ask him if he was sure – wasn’t that place too expensive, too cozy, too date-like?
But what you ended up replying with was, “Sounds great.”
“If you want, we can take my car, and I can drop you back off here after?”
Perfect! Not only has Brian asked to treat you to a dinner at a really nice French restaurant that the two of you had never been to before, but now he was offering to take you there!
This was sounding suspiciously more and more like a date!
“Okay!” you replied, hearing the strain of anxiety creeping into your voice.
But if Brian heard that anxiety, he ignored it. Which was just as well, because how could you explain it to him? Even explaining it to yourself, it sounded insane.
Just to be safe, though, you followed him to his car in silence and kept the conversation during the ride there to an absolute minimum – and even then, you only talked about the Book Club discussion.
But you knew you wouldn’t be able to get away with that at the dinner table, and that was more than a little daunting.
“Are you sure about this?” you murmured just after a very well-dressed maître d’ showed you to your table – a very, very cozy table tucked in the corner of this very, very cozy, dimly-lit restaurant that had soft Parisian instrumental music playing in the background.
“Yes, I’m sure,” Brian chuckled. “We just went on three really bad dates. I think we deserve something nice.”
You had been gazing around the restaurant, taking in just how intimate and quaint and nice and, frankly, romantic it was – but Brian’s answer made your gaze land on him.
“Okay, well, when you put it like that,” you said with a relenting shrug. “Yes, I agree, We deserve something nice.”
A server approached your table, then, and before you could order your usual water or diet soda, Brian requested two glasses of Bordeaux and a cheese plate for the table.
Of course, as soon as the server left, you opened your mouth to protest – but Brian beat you to it.
“We just went over this,” he said with a slight smirk. “We deserve something nice, so we’re getting something nice. You can have as many glasses of wine as you want. I’ll only have the one, and I can drive you home and pick your car up tomorrow if we have to. Deal?”
You slumped down into your chair just a bit, a frown tugging at your lips. Because he realy was doing too much! This wasn’t necessary!
But Brian was Brian, and he wasn’t going to give in. In fact, the more you protested, the more he would dig his heels in and try to make the evening even more extravagant.
“Deal,” you muttered. “Thank you.”
He replied with simply a nod, the corners of his lips forming a soft smile, and that was your final sign to just let it go. Accept your prize for winning the bet, and enjoy this night out with one of your closest friends.
As you waited for the server to return with your wine and cheese, the two of you perused the menu, chatting softly about what sounded good (everything) and whether or not you should share multiple entrees so you could try more (yes, absolutely).
Then, once the server arrived and set down your glasses and plates, took your order, and left, Brian lifted his glass of wine and held it out toward you. You did the same, and since he’d done it first, you waited for him to decide what the ‘cheers’ was for.
“To really, really awful dates,” he said, grinning softly. “May we never go on any more ever again.”
“Oh, I will cheers to that,” you chuckled before gently tapping your glass against his and taking a sip. The wine was deliciously dry and fruity, and honestly, probably the best wine you’d ever tasted. “Wow, this is really good.”
Brian hummed in agreement.
“Anyway,” you sighed, carefully setting your glass down and folding your arms on the edge of the table. “I think I’ve decided that I’m done with dating for a while.”
Maybe forever? Who’s to say?
“Oh?” Brian replied, his brow notched questioningly.
You pressed your lips together and nodded slowly.
And you assumed that Brian would agree with you because why wouldn’t he? He’d been on three bad dates, too. Surely, he was also drained and didn’t want to waste any more time going on dates.
But, to your surprise, he frowned and said, “That’s too bad.”
You frowned right back at him.
“...How so?” you asked, your tone almost one of suspicion.
Because what did he mean?
Brian inhaled deeply then, and… if you didn’t know any better, you’d say he looked… nervous.
But Brian didn’t get nervous. I mean, he’d never been visibly nervous about something the whole time you’d known him, not even during presentations or exams at University.
So what on Earth could be making him nervous now?
“It’s too bad that you don’t want to go on any more dates because I was hoping this could be a date.”
…You blinked at him.
“I – what?” you gaped.
“If you don’t want to –”
“No, wait,” you interrupted, though you weren’t entirely sure why you’d interrupted other than this weird feeling in your gut that you needed to. “I just… I’m… I guess I’m… confused?”
“What, my picking When Harry Met Sally…for movie night wasn’t enough of a hint?” he asked with a chuckle.
What was that supposed to mean?!
“Hint?” you asked dumbly.
“It’s the ultimate friends-to-lovers rom-com,” he explained.
“Well, yeah, I know that, but – what – “
You paused. You took a deep breath. And then you reached over, placing a hand on Brian’s wrist.
“I need you to explain everything to me without leaving out a single detail.”
A smirk tugged at Brian’s lips, and he moved his free hand to cover yours, taking hold of it and lifting it off his arm. But rather than setting your hand back on the table, in your own personal space, he held it. He delicately stroked his thumb over the back of your hand.
And, boy, did that make your stomach do somersaults.
“Going on those dates with those girls who were so completely wrong for me, where I felt so uncomfortable and uneasy, like I couldn’t be myself, and then immediately hanging out with you after each one – where things were completely the opposite – just made me realize that I wasn’t going to find someone who I wanted to spend time with more than I want to spend time with you.”
He paused, then, and you took another breath.
“But… they were bad dates,” you pointed out, though there was barely any strength to your voice at this point.
“I know,” he chuckled. “But that doesn’t matter. I just… know.”
“...Know what?” you whispered.
“That I don’t want anyone else but you. You’re literally everything I could ever want in a partner and more, and… I’m in love with you.”
You simply stopped breathing then, and because of that, you lost the ability to say anything.
After a few moments of silence, Brian started to let go of your hand and said, “It’s okay if you don’t –”
This caused a flurry of panic inside of your chest, and you quickly took his hand back. “No, it’s not – Wait, hold on.”
Brian paused again and, thankfully, didn’t let go of your hand.
“Hold on,” you repeated, trying to give yourself some time to gather your thoughts. "I just need to – so, all of those… moments between us were not my imagination running away with me?”
“No, but I’m curious to hear what moments stood out to you.”
You narrowed your eyes at him, conveying your irritation – Brian may be in love with you, but he was still as obnoxious as ever.
“Well, you didn’t wake me up when I fell asleep on your shoulder, first of all. In fact, it seems like you purposely let me sleep instead of waking me up with your scene-by-scene commentary, plus the volume was lower, and the blanket, and –”
“Yes,” he interrupted. “You may not have noticed that my movie choice had meaning, but at least you noticed all of that.”
“And you got my order right at that one place earlier this week, but I didn’t even tell you what I wanted,” you added.
Brian simply nodded, but then said, “I wanted you to see that I pay attention.”
“And… I don’t know, I’ve just been feeling this… tension. But not a bad tension, just…”
You trailed off, and Brian squeezed your hand.
“I think that tension, as you call it, is just my feelings for you.”
You nodded slowly, allowing his words – the ones he’d just said as well as everything else – settle over you.
You weren’t imagining things. Brian did, indeed, have feelings for you, and he’d been showing you.
But now that you no longer had to worry about that, you did have to worry about… whether or not you felt the same.
“I –” you began. “Bear with me, okay?”
Brian just squeezed your hand again.
“I don’t… know… how I feel about you. I mean, I know that I love you so much as a person, and I cherish your friendship so deeply. I just… don’t know… if it’s more than that. And I don’t mean that in a ‘I don’t think I can ever have more than friendly feelings for you’ way. I mean that I very well could also be… in love with you. I just haven’t realized it. I… I don’t know.”
“You very well could be in love with me?” he asked, eyebrows raised expectantly.
“Well – okay, for example,” you began. “Movie night. I texted you right when I left the restaurant, and I just assumed you would reply immediately. But you didn’t, and… that bothered me. I couldn’t stop thinking about why you weren’t texting me. And, actually, even before that! During my date with Emotionally Evolved guy, I kept thinking about you and if you’d been there and how your date was going and… and hoping you would text me. And then you put your jacket on me. And… and, also, I noticed the tension but wasn’t grossed out, and after I woke up and you said you should leave, I… I wanted you to stay.”
During this quasi-incoherent speech, your gaze had been focused mainly on the table or on Brian’s hand holding yours.
But now, you lifted your eyes to look at him – or, rather, to look back at him, since he was already gazing over at you.
“So… that all kind of sounds like I possibly could have feelings for you,” you admitted, your voice only now betraying how nervous you were.
“Possibly,” Brian agreed. “But I don’t want to rush you or pressure you. If you need some time, you can take as much as you need.”
Honestly, hearing those words lifted a pretty big weight off of your shoulders, and you actually let out a sigh of relief.
I mean, not that you thought Brian would give you an ultimatum or anything. He was obnoxious, but he wasn’t unreasonable.
Most of the time.
“Okay,” you whispered. “Thank you.”
Brian squeezed your hand one last time before letting it go and reaching for the cheese plate.
Surprisingly, the rest of the dinner was incredibly normal. There was no awkwardness, no discomfort, no uneasy silence.
In fact, there may have actually been some flirting?
The idea of flirting with your best friend was still somewhat strange, though, so you couldn’t be sure.
Nonetheless, the food was exquisite, you limited yourself to a singular glass of wine, and… if you were being honest, you couldn’t think of anyone else you’d rather have sitting across the table from you.
When you thought about all of the excruciating dates you’d just been on in the last month, it made tonight seem like the best evening you could possibly imagine.
And then, before you knew it, Brian paid the check, and the two of you made your way out to the parking lot.
Now, this was new. You hadn’t made it this far on any of your bad dates, so you weren’t used to this part of the date. And the fact that you were with Brian?
Your heart began to beat out of your chest.
With the sun long gone and the sky bathed in deep evening blue, a chill had settled into the air, sharp enough to raise goosebumps across your skin.
When you suddenly felt Brian’s hands brush your shoulders, you jumped, realizing your gaze had been glued to the ground – but then, when you actually looked up, you saw he was, yet again, putting his jacket over your shoulders, and a grin sprang to your lips.
The instinct to reach out and take his hand, linking your fingers together, tugged at you. It just felt… natural.
But before you could give into that instinct, Brian murmured, “I’ll get the door for you,” and you discovered you’d already made it to his car.
That instinct was still tugging at you, though, but not necessarily to hold his hand. You just couldn’t figure out what.
And, to top it all off, you also still couldn’t figure out if you returned his feelings.
You kind of assumed that you did, but there hadn’t been any sort of lightbulb moment during dinner. And, for some reason, you needed a lightbulb moment.
So, you moved to stand in front of the car door handle, stopping Brian from opening it. You took a breath, and you turned to face him.
If a lightbulb moment wasn’t going to present itself, then you’d have to invite one on your own.
“Can you…” you began, finding your voice was shakier than you’d prefer.
Were you nervous? Yes, of course. What you were about to ask would change everything. But you didn’t want it to be obvious that you were nervous.
Brian furrowed his brow, his gaze locked on yours.
Y/N, just say it.
“Can you kiss me?”
Brian’s head jerked back in surprise, just slightly, and his mouth fell open to form a small ‘O.’
“Can I –”
“Just to see,” you clarified hurriedly. “Y’know, if I… feel anything.”
He nodded slowly, and said, “Ah, I see.” But you saw a ghost of a smirk on his lips.
As he took one step closer to you, you tilted your head up and closed your eyes, mentally preparing yourself to feel his lips on yours.
…
…
…Any second now.
…
…
You carefully peeked through one eye, seeing that he was still just standing there.
“Are you –”
“Yes,” he chuckled. “I’m getting there. You’re not the only one who’s nervous here, y’know.”
“Okay, sorry.”
You closed your eye again.
“Thank you for your patience,” he murmured. He had, apparently, stepped even closer because you could feel his breath on your forehead.
“You’re welcome,” you whispered.
And then, you felt his fingers gently brushing against your cheek — so lightly and carefully, like he was giving you time to pull away if you wanted to.
But you didn’t pull away.
His palm curved around your cheek, and just after his thumb delicately pushed up under your chin to tilt your head… he kissed you.
His lips were soft against yours, wanting but not at all desperate, and it took you less than a second to decide that it was the sweetest yet most devastating kiss of your life so far.
…And also the most brief.
As slow as he’d been to initiate the kiss, he was just as quick to end it.
When he pulled back, you blinked at him.
“...Was it that bad?” you asked, your voice barely a whisper.
“What? No,” he answered. “What do you mean?”
And you realized that your response was going to tell him everything he needed to know about your feelings – it would tell you everything you needed to know about your feelings.
“You ended it too soon.”
Unsurprisingly, one corner of Brian’s mouth tugged up into a half-grin, and he laughed softly.
“My apologies,” he chuckled before swiftly and smoothly capturing your lips in another kiss.
This time, you slid your arms around his middle, resting your hands on his back and gently clutching his shirt in your fingers. And, after a few moments, you even rose up onto your toes, giving him every indication that you were, indeed, kissing him back.
Really kissing him back, as if you’d been kissing each other for years.
And, honestly, maybe that was your lightbulb moment.
Not the kiss itself, not the butterflies in your stomach or the warmth blooming through your chest, or even the way your heart was now on a mission to beat itself right out of your body.
No, the lightbulb moment was just… how easy it felt. How natural.
There was no awkwardness, no uncertainty, no pressure to perform or impress or carefully calculate your every movement the way you had on every terrible date over the past month – or any date you’d ever been on in your whole adolescent and adult life, actually.
You weren’t wondering what Brian thought of you.
Because you already knew.
And you trusted it. You trusted him.
This realization settled somewhere deep inside you, so suddenly and so completely that it almost stole the breath from your lungs.
This wasn’t mentally or emotionally draining, and it wasn’t forced...
…It was Brian. Warm and familiar and safe in a way that felt almost life-altering now that you finally understood it.
When you finally pulled back, it was only far enough to look at him.
He tipped his forehead just enough, resting it lightly against yours. His hands were still steady against you, giving you every indication that he had no intention of letting go anytime soon.
And honestly?
Good.
A soft laugh escaped you, breathless and disbelieving all at once.
“…Yeah,” you murmured. “I love you, too.”
You felt him smile before you kissed him again.
“Can you turn on the TV?” you called out from the kitchen as you put away the leftover pizza and prepared to recycle the boxes.
“You got it,” Brian replied, and you heard him let out a soft groan, presumably as he plopped down onto your couch.
After you slid the leftovers into your fridge and popped into your garage to stuff the boxes in the recycling bin, you rushed over to the kitchen sink to wash your hands.
“Do you want anything else?” you asked, drying your hands with a towel.
“No, just you, get in here!” Brian answered with a slight whine.
“All right, I’m coming,” you chuckled.
Once your hands were dry (enough), you shuffled out of the kitchen and into your living room, hurrying around the back of the couch.
Brian held out his arm for you, impatiently waggling his fingers to invite you next to him.
“Goodness,” you sighed as you settled in at his side, a grin curving your lips when you felt his arm curl around and behind you, his hand landing on your hip and patting it affectionately. “So clingy tonight.”
“Tonight?” he asked. He then leaned even more toward you, pressing his lips to your temple. “I’m always clingy.”
“Mm, true,” you murmured.
Ever since that night – your official first date at Rue Saint Claire and the kiss in the parking lot – you’d spent time with Brian every day, without fail. You had each extended open invitations to each other’s home, and while you had cashed in on yours more than a few times to go and listen to him practice his music, Brian had basically become your permanent houseguest (not that you were complaining).
He also took you out whenever you both had time – dinners, lunches, breakfasts, plays and musicals, walks in the park, concerts, used bookstore crawls, museums.
But you had to say, your favorite dates were those just like tonight – cozy movie nights at your place, just like old times.
Except now, of course, there was exponentially more cuddling and kissing involved.
Brian leaned back against the couch then, remote in hand as he scrolled through the options.
“Okay,” he said after a moment. “I’m thinking Pride & Prejudice.”
But you had something else in mind, and you didn’t even hesitate to reply with, “No.”
Brian huffed out a quiet, bemused laugh. “Wow. Immediate rejection.”
“Well, I know what I want,” you stated. “Put on Northanger Abbey.”
At that, Brian turned his head to look at you properly, one eyebrow lifting in amusement.
“…Seriously?”
“Yes, seriously,” you nodded.
“You’re choosing Northanger Abbey over Pride & Prejudice?”
“Absolutely.”
“You?” he asked dramatically, placing one hand against his chest. “You, who has watched the 2005 Pride & Prejudice enough times to qualify for residency at Pemberley?”
You snorted. “First of all, rude,” you replied, even though it was certainly true. “Second of all, this is different.”
“Oh?” Brian asked, clearly entertained now. “And how exactly is this different?”
You shrugged lightly, trying – and failing – to look unaffected and casual.
“...Well,” you began slowly, “I’m dating Henry Tilney now, so...”
The grin that spread across Brian’s face was immediate and helpless all at once.
“Oh, my god,” he laughed softly. “You’re still on this?”
“You’re the one who brought up Mr. Darcy in the first place,” you reminded him.
“Yeah, and you destroyed my argument in under thirty seconds.”
“Because I was right! I am right!”
Brian shook his head fondly before shifting closer, his arm tightening around your waist. “And you’re still standing by that?” he murmured.
“I am,” you replied easily. “You’re not brooding enough to be Darcy.”
“Wow.”
“You smile too much,” you continued.
“Wow.”
“You actually enjoy talking to people.”
“Okay, that one feels personal.”
You laughed quietly as he pressed another kiss to the side of your head.
“And besides,” you added more softly, curling a little closer into his side, “Henry Tilney was always my favorite, anyway.”
That earned you a moment of unusual silence.
Not awkward silence, just unusual since, as you just established, Brian typically enjoyed talking.
You titled your head up to see Brian looking at you with that same unbearably warm expression that still made your chest feel too full every time you caught it directed at you.
“…Yeah?” he asked quietly, searching your face as affection poured out of his gaze.
“Yeah,” you whispered.
His smile softened into something almost shy before he leaned down to kiss you – a kiss slow and familiar by now, yet still capable of making your heart trip over itself.
When he pulled back, he rested his forehead briefly against yours.
“Well,” he murmured, voice warm with amusement, “good thing you ended up with him, then.”
You’d never been so nervous to go into a Book Club meeting in your life. Nervous enough that you hadn’t even gotten out of your car to go into the Community Center, yet.
In the week between your last Bad Date-slash-movie night with Brian that felt a little… we’ll say different and now – the day of the Book Club meeting, you and Brian had fallen into a routine that felt exactly the same as it always had.
But also not the same at all.
You still texted each other. You still met up for coffee. You still had debates about insignificant things like whether cereal counted as dinner.
But now… in-between those familiarities…
There were moments.
Small moments, so they were pretty easy to ignore.
But as the days went on, you were beginning to find that maybe they were easier not to. Maybe… you didn’t want to ignore them.
Like the way he’d started remembering things you didn’t recall telling him – your usual takeout order, for instance, including the sauce on the side that you, yourself, frequently forgot.
Or the way you’d caught yourself thinking about that night —
The couch. The blanket. How you’d said nice out loud like it had been too much to keep to yourself.
You hadn’t brought it up to him, though.
Then again, neither had he, which was probably for the best. Because if you did —
Well.
You weren’t entirely sure what would happen, but it was very possible that everything would change. And you were still trying to decide whether or not you wanted things to change. Whether or not that change would be good, because it could, in fact, end very, very badly.
Suddenly, your spiraling thoughts were interrupted by a knock on your window, and your heart leaped up into your throat as you jumped in surprise.
Brian was now standing next to your car, his brow furrowed in confusion, so you let your pulse slow down somewhat before opening the door to get out.
“The meeting is about to start,” he said in lieu of a greeting. “I saw you were still in your car, so I thought I’d wait for you, but then you weren’t getting out.”
“Sorry,” you replied hurriedly, reaching in to grab your copy of Pride & Prejudice before closing your car door. “I was… just zoning out, I guess.”
Brian’s look of confusion morphed into one of concern – a subtle difference, but you caught it.
…And just when did you gain the ability to pick up on the nuances of Brian’s different facial expressions, huh?
Whatever, it’s not important.
“Everything okay?” he asked, his gaze searching your face.
“Of course,” you assured him. “I think I’m just… nervous about who’s going to win the bet. I really don’t want to buy you dinner.”
You’d pulled one corner of your lips up into a smirk as you’d said that, and Brian responded by rolling his eyes.
“Didn’t you just pay for takeout the other night?”
“Because you offered to pick it up,” you pointed out. “That’s different.”
Brian opened his mouth to rebut, but apparently, thought better of it. So, instead, he said, “If we don’t go inside now, we’ll be late, and since I’m leading the discussion…”
“Lead the way,” you said, gesturing toward the entrance.
Brian hesitated briefly, and you could tell he was probably going to ask you if you were sure you were okay – so, you didn’t even give him a chance to.
“Go,” you chuckled, shooing him away from your car and following him. “Like you just said, we’ll be late!”
And, funnily enough (but not actually funny at all), now that Brian was standing/walking next to you, all of your worries seemed to fade into the background of your mind.
“Wait, wait, hold on,” one of your fellow Book Club members, June, said. “I – There’s just no way you told him that you’re a government spy who trains pigeons and he believed it!”
You pressed your lips together to keep from laughing and nodded slowly. “I wish it wasn’t true, but yes, I did tell him that. And he did believe me.”
The rest of the Club burst into laughter.
“I don’t know about you guys,” another member, Aimee, said. “But between the podcast, the emotional evolution, and the government spy, I have to give the bet to Y/N.”
“Your dates were bad, too, Brian,” June added with a friendly but placating smile. “But… I have to agree. Y/N’s dates were definitely worse.”
Every one else nodded and murmured their agreement, and then Aimee led a round of applause for you.
You stood from your chair, plastering an ‘I’m so grateful and humbled’ expression on your face, dramatically clutching your hands at your heart. “Wow, I can’t believe this. I’d like to thank the Academy and my ability to spot red flags from a mile away and, most of all, my best friend, Brian.”
You gestured to him sitting next to you, and he lifted one hand in acknowledgement.
“Without him, this bet wouldn’t have been possible – it would’ve just been me going on three really terrible dates.”
As you’d hoped, the room filled with appreciative chuckles.
“I don’t take this honor lightly, and I will enjoy my free meal with your generosity in mind.”
The Club applauded for you yet again, and after one final smile and wave, you took your seat.
You glanced over at Brian and saw he was clapping along with everyone else – but he was also smiling at you, and the look on his face… You didn’t want to say it was… loving, but… that’s kind of what it felt like.
Were you totally and completely imagining things? Did all of these little moments and gestures and looks actually mean something? Or was your brain being overactive?
…Unfortunately, the quickest and best way to find the answer to that would be to just ask him.
But how?
How on Earth were you supposed to ask one of your closest friends, someone you’d known for years, if the more-than-friendly tension between the two of you was real or if you were just imagining it?
Since the discussion and vote on the bet had followed the discussion of Pride & Prejudice, the Club members began to stand and disperse.
Your mind was too distracted to stay and chat with anyone, so you reached for your book and purse in silence before getting up and heading toward the door.
When you reached the small foyer of the Community Center, though, you felt someone approach you from behind – and then you saw Brian’s arm reach out and open the door for you.
Why were you surprised?
“So,” he began with a sigh. “I owe you dinner.”
To hide the buzz of activity in your brain, you raised your eyebrows and pasted a grin onto your lips. “That you do.”
“Are you… free tonight?” he asked. But then he quickly raised his wrist up to check the time. “Right now, I guess?”
Oh! He wanted to take you out to dinner right now! Tonight!
Okay!
“I am,” you nodded.
Before you could even begin to think of where you wanted to go, Brian took a half-step closer to you and said, “How about… Rue Saint Claire?”
You couldn’t stop yourself from rearing your head back in surprise, just a little, because Rue Saint Claire was a nice restaurant. It wasn’t a Michelin-star, can’t-get-a-reservation place, per se, but it was certainly more upscale and intimate than your usual hangouts.
Your frenzied, overwrought brain told you to ask him if he was sure – wasn’t that place too expensive, too cozy, too date-like?
But what you ended up replying with was, “Sounds great.”
“If you want, we can take my car, and I can drop you back off here after?”
Perfect! Not only has Brian asked to treat you to a dinner at a really nice French restaurant that the two of you had never been to before, but now he was offering to take you there!
This was sounding suspiciously more and more like a date!
“Okay!” you replied, hearing the strain of anxiety creeping into your voice.
But if Brian heard that anxiety, he ignored it. Which was just as well, because how could you explain it to him? Even explaining it to yourself, it sounded insane.
Just to be safe, though, you followed him to his car in silence and kept the conversation during the ride there to an absolute minimum – and even then, you only talked about the Book Club discussion.
But you knew you wouldn’t be able to get away with that at the dinner table, and that was more than a little daunting.
“Are you sure about this?” you murmured just after a very well-dressed maître d’ showed you to your table – a very, very cozy table tucked in the corner of this very, very cozy, dimly-lit restaurant that had soft Parisian instrumental music playing in the background.
“Yes, I’m sure,” Brian chuckled. “We just went on three really bad dates. I think we deserve something nice.”
You had been gazing around the restaurant, taking in just how intimate and quaint and nice and, frankly, romantic it was – but Brian’s answer made your gaze land on him.
“Okay, well, when you put it like that,” you said with a relenting shrug. “Yes, I agree, We deserve something nice.”
A server approached your table, then, and before you could order your usual water or diet soda, Brian requested two glasses of Bordeaux and a cheese plate for the table.
Of course, as soon as the server left, you opened your mouth to protest – but Brian beat you to it.
“We just went over this,” he said with a slight smirk. “We deserve something nice, so we’re getting something nice. You can have as many glasses of wine as you want. I’ll only have the one, and I can drive you home and pick your car up tomorrow if we have to. Deal?”
You slumped down into your chair just a bit, a frown tugging at your lips. Because he realy was doing too much! This wasn’t necessary!
But Brian was Brian, and he wasn’t going to give in. In fact, the more you protested, the more he would dig his heels in and try to make the evening even more extravagant.
“Deal,” you muttered. “Thank you.”
He replied with simply a nod, the corners of his lips forming a soft smile, and that was your final sign to just let it go. Accept your prize for winning the bet, and enjoy this night out with one of your closest friends.
As you waited for the server to return with your wine and cheese, the two of you perused the menu, chatting softly about what sounded good (everything) and whether or not you should share multiple entrees so you could try more (yes, absolutely).
Then, once the server arrived and set down your glasses and plates, took your order, and left, Brian lifted his glass of wine and held it out toward you. You did the same, and since he’d done it first, you waited for him to decide what the ‘cheers’ was for.
“To really, really awful dates,” he said, grinning softly. “May we never go on any more ever again.”
“Oh, I will cheers to that,” you chuckled before gently tapping your glass against his and taking a sip. The wine was deliciously dry and fruity, and honestly, probably the best wine you’d ever tasted. “Wow, this is really good.”
Brian hummed in agreement.
“Anyway,” you sighed, carefully setting your glass down and folding your arms on the edge of the table. “I think I’ve decided that I’m done with dating for a while.”
Maybe forever? Who’s to say?
“Oh?” Brian replied, his brow notched questioningly.
You pressed your lips together and nodded slowly.
And you assumed that Brian would agree with you because why wouldn’t he? He’d been on three bad dates, too. Surely, he was also drained and didn’t want to waste any more time going on dates.
But, to your surprise, he frowned and said, “That’s too bad.”
You frowned right back at him.
“...How so?” you asked, your tone almost one of suspicion.
Because what did he mean?
Brian inhaled deeply then, and… if you didn’t know any better, you’d say he looked… nervous.
But Brian didn’t get nervous. I mean, he’d never been visibly nervous about something the whole time you’d known him, not even during presentations or exams at University.
So what on Earth could be making him nervous now?
“It’s too bad that you don’t want to go on any more dates because I was hoping this could be a date.”
…You blinked at him.
“I – what?” you gaped.
“If you don’t want to –”
“No, wait,” you interrupted, though you weren’t entirely sure why you’d interrupted other than this weird feeling in your gut that you needed to. “I just… I’m… I guess I’m… confused?”
“What, my picking When Harry Met Sally…for movie night wasn’t enough of a hint?” he asked with a chuckle.
What was that supposed to mean?!
“Hint?” you asked dumbly.
“It’s the ultimate friends-to-lovers rom-com,” he explained.
“Well, yeah, I know that, but – what – “
You paused. You took a deep breath. And then you reached over, placing a hand on Brian’s wrist.
“I need you to explain everything to me without leaving out a single detail.”
A smirk tugged at Brian’s lips, and he moved his free hand to cover yours, taking hold of it and lifting it off his arm. But rather than setting your hand back on the table, in your own personal space, he held it. He delicately stroked his thumb over the back of your hand.
And, boy, did that make your stomach do somersaults.
“Going on those dates with those girls who were so completely wrong for me, where I felt so uncomfortable and uneasy, like I couldn’t be myself, and then immediately hanging out with you after each one – where things were completely the opposite – just made me realize that I wasn’t going to find someone who I wanted to spend time with more than I want to spend time with you.”
He paused, then, and you took another breath.
“But… they were bad dates,” you pointed out, though there was barely any strength to your voice at this point.
“I know,” he chuckled. “But that doesn’t matter. I just… know.”
“...Know what?” you whispered.
“That I don’t want anyone else but you. You’re literally everything I could ever want in a partner and more, and… I’m in love with you.”
You simply stopped breathing then, and because of that, you lost the ability to say anything.
After a few moments of silence, Brian started to let go of your hand and said, “It’s okay if you don’t –”
This caused a flurry of panic inside of your chest, and you quickly took his hand back. “No, it’s not – Wait, hold on.”
Brian paused again and, thankfully, didn’t let go of your hand.
“Hold on,” you repeated, trying to give yourself some time to gather your thoughts. "I just need to – so, all of those… moments between us were not my imagination running away with me?”
“No, but I’m curious to hear what moments stood out to you.”
You narrowed your eyes at him, conveying your irritation – Brian may be in love with you, but he was still as obnoxious as ever.
“Well, you didn’t wake me up when I fell asleep on your shoulder, first of all. In fact, it seems like you purposely let me sleep instead of waking me up with your scene-by-scene commentary, plus the volume was lower, and the blanket, and –”
“Yes,” he interrupted. “You may not have noticed that my movie choice had meaning, but at least you noticed all of that.”
“And you got my order right at that one place earlier this week, but I didn’t even tell you what I wanted,” you added.
Brian simply nodded, but then said, “I wanted you to see that I pay attention.”
“And… I don’t know, I’ve just been feeling this… tension. But not a bad tension, just…”
You trailed off, and Brian squeezed your hand.
“I think that tension, as you call it, is just my feelings for you.”
You nodded slowly, allowing his words – the ones he’d just said as well as everything else – settle over you.
You weren’t imagining things. Brian did, indeed, have feelings for you, and he’d been showing you.
But now that you no longer had to worry about that, you did have to worry about… whether or not you felt the same.
“I –” you began. “Bear with me, okay?”
Brian just squeezed your hand again.
“I don’t… know… how I feel about you. I mean, I know that I love you so much as a person, and I cherish your friendship so deeply. I just… don’t know… if it’s more than that. And I don’t mean that in a ‘I don’t think I can ever have more than friendly feelings for you’ way. I mean that I very well could also be… in love with you. I just haven’t realized it. I… I don’t know.”
“You very well could be in love with me?” he asked, eyebrows raised expectantly.
“Well – okay, for example,” you began. “Movie night. I texted you right when I left the restaurant, and I just assumed you would reply immediately. But you didn’t, and… that bothered me. I couldn’t stop thinking about why you weren’t texting me. And, actually, even before that! During my date with Emotionally Evolved guy, I kept thinking about you and if you’d been there and how your date was going and… and hoping you would text me. And then you put your jacket on me. And… and, also, I noticed the tension but wasn’t grossed out, and after I woke up and you said you should leave, I… I wanted you to stay.”
During this quasi-incoherent speech, your gaze had been focused mainly on the table or on Brian’s hand holding yours.
But now, you lifted your eyes to look at him – or, rather, to look back at him, since he was already gazing over at you.
“So… that all kind of sounds like I possibly could have feelings for you,” you admitted, your voice only now betraying how nervous you were.
“Possibly,” Brian agreed. “But I don’t want to rush you or pressure you. If you need some time, you can take as much as you need.”
Honestly, hearing those words lifted a pretty big weight off of your shoulders, and you actually let out a sigh of relief.
I mean, not that you thought Brian would give you an ultimatum or anything. He was obnoxious, but he wasn’t unreasonable.
Most of the time.
“Okay,” you whispered. “Thank you.”
Brian squeezed your hand one last time before letting it go and reaching for the cheese plate.
Surprisingly, the rest of the dinner was incredibly normal. There was no awkwardness, no discomfort, no uneasy silence.
In fact, there may have actually been some flirting?
The idea of flirting with your best friend was still somewhat strange, though, so you couldn’t be sure.
Nonetheless, the food was exquisite, you limited yourself to a singular glass of wine, and… if you were being honest, you couldn’t think of anyone else you’d rather have sitting across the table from you.
When you thought about all of the excruciating dates you’d just been on in the last month, it made tonight seem like the best evening you could possibly imagine.
And then, before you knew it, Brian paid the check, and the two of you made your way out to the parking lot.
Now, this was new. You hadn’t made it this far on any of your bad dates, so you weren’t used to this part of the date. And the fact that you were with Brian?
Your heart began to beat out of your chest.
With the sun long gone and the sky bathed in deep evening blue, a chill had settled into the air, sharp enough to raise goosebumps across your skin.
When you suddenly felt Brian’s hands brush your shoulders, you jumped, realizing your gaze had been glued to the ground – but then, when you actually looked up, you saw he was, yet again, putting his jacket over your shoulders, and a grin sprang to your lips.
The instinct to reach out and take his hand, linking your fingers together, tugged at you. It just felt… natural.
But before you could give into that instinct, Brian murmured, “I’ll get the door for you,” and you discovered you’d already made it to his car.
That instinct was still tugging at you, though, but not necessarily to hold his hand. You just couldn’t figure out what.
And, to top it all off, you also still couldn’t figure out if you returned his feelings.
You kind of assumed that you did, but there hadn’t been any sort of lightbulb moment during dinner. And, for some reason, you needed a lightbulb moment.
So, you moved to stand in front of the car door handle, stopping Brian from opening it. You took a breath, and you turned to face him.
If a lightbulb moment wasn’t going to present itself, then you’d have to invite one on your own.
“Can you…” you began, finding your voice was shakier than you’d prefer.
Were you nervous? Yes, of course. What you were about to ask would change everything. But you didn’t want it to be obvious that you were nervous.
Brian furrowed his brow, his gaze locked on yours.
Y/N, just say it.
“Can you kiss me?”
Brian’s head jerked back in surprise, just slightly, and his mouth fell open to form a small ‘O.’
“Can I –”
“Just to see,” you clarified hurriedly. “Y’know, if I… feel anything.”
He nodded slowly, and said, “Ah, I see.” But you saw a ghost of a smirk on his lips.
As he took one step closer to you, you tilted your head up and closed your eyes, mentally preparing yourself to feel his lips on yours.
…
…
…Any second now.
…
…
You carefully peeked through one eye, seeing that he was still just standing there.
“Are you –”
“Yes,” he chuckled. “I’m getting there. You’re not the only one who’s nervous here, y’know.”
“Okay, sorry.”
You closed your eye again.
“Thank you for your patience,” he murmured. He had, apparently, stepped even closer because you could feel his breath on your forehead.
“You’re welcome,” you whispered.
And then, you felt his fingers gently brushing against your cheek — so lightly and carefully, like he was giving you time to pull away if you wanted to.
But you didn’t pull away.
His palm curved around your cheek, and just after his thumb delicately pushed up under your chin to tilt your head… he kissed you.
His lips were soft against yours, wanting but not at all desperate, and it took you less than a second to decide that it was the sweetest yet most devastating kiss of your life so far.
…And also the most brief.
As slow as he’d been to initiate the kiss, he was just as quick to end it.
When he pulled back, you blinked at him.
“...Was it that bad?” you asked, your voice barely a whisper.
“What? No,” he answered. “What do you mean?”
And you realized that your response was going to tell him everything he needed to know about your feelings – it would tell you everything you needed to know about your feelings.
“You ended it too soon.”
Unsurprisingly, one corner of Brian’s mouth tugged up into a half-grin, and he laughed softly.
“My apologies,” he chuckled before swiftly and smoothly capturing your lips in another kiss.
This time, you slid your arms around his middle, resting your hands on his back and gently clutching his shirt in your fingers. And, after a few moments, you even rose up onto your toes, giving him every indication that you were, indeed, kissing him back.
Really kissing him back, as if you’d been kissing each other for years.
And, honestly, maybe that was your lightbulb moment.
Not the kiss itself, not the butterflies in your stomach or the warmth blooming through your chest, or even the way your heart was now on a mission to beat itself right out of your body.
No, the lightbulb moment was just… how easy it felt. How natural.
There was no awkwardness, no uncertainty, no pressure to perform or impress or carefully calculate your every movement the way you had on every terrible date over the past month – or any date you’d ever been on in your whole adolescent and adult life, actually.
You weren’t wondering what Brian thought of you.
Because you already knew.
And you trusted it. You trusted him.
This realization settled somewhere deep inside you, so suddenly and so completely that it almost stole the breath from your lungs.
This wasn’t mentally or emotionally draining, and it wasn’t forced...
…It was Brian. Warm and familiar and safe in a way that felt almost life-altering now that you finally understood it.
When you finally pulled back, it was only far enough to look at him.
He tipped his forehead just enough, resting it lightly against yours. His hands were still steady against you, giving you every indication that he had no intention of letting go anytime soon.
And honestly?
Good.
A soft laugh escaped you, breathless and disbelieving all at once.
“…Yeah,” you murmured. “I love you, too.”
You felt him smile before you kissed him again.
“Can you turn on the TV?” you called out from the kitchen as you put away the leftover pizza and prepared to recycle the boxes.
“You got it,” Brian replied, and you heard him let out a soft groan, presumably as he plopped down onto your couch.
After you slid the leftovers into your fridge and popped into your garage to stuff the boxes in the recycling bin, you rushed over to the kitchen sink to wash your hands.
“Do you want anything else?” you asked, drying your hands with a towel.
“No, just you, get in here!” Brian answered with a slight whine.
“All right, I’m coming,” you chuckled.
Once your hands were dry (enough), you shuffled out of the kitchen and into your living room, hurrying around the back of the couch.
Brian held out his arm for you, impatiently waggling his fingers to invite you next to him.
“Goodness,” you sighed as you settled in at his side, a grin curving your lips when you felt his arm curl around and behind you, his hand landing on your hip and patting it affectionately. “So clingy tonight.”
“Tonight?” he asked. He then leaned even more toward you, pressing his lips to your temple. “I’m always clingy.”
“Mm, true,” you murmured.
Ever since that night – your official first date at Rue Saint Claire and the kiss in the parking lot – you’d spent time with Brian every day, without fail. You had each extended open invitations to each other’s home, and while you had cashed in on yours more than a few times to go and listen to him practice his music, Brian had basically become your permanent houseguest (not that you were complaining).
He also took you out whenever you both had time – dinners, lunches, breakfasts, plays and musicals, walks in the park, concerts, used bookstore crawls, museums.
But you had to say, your favorite dates were those just like tonight – cozy movie nights at your place, just like old times.
Except now, of course, there was exponentially more cuddling and kissing involved.
Brian leaned back against the couch then, remote in hand as he scrolled through the options.
“Okay,” he said after a moment. “I’m thinking Pride & Prejudice.”
But you had something else in mind, and you didn’t even hesitate to reply with, “No.”
Brian huffed out a quiet, bemused laugh. “Wow. Immediate rejection.”
“Well, I know what I want,” you stated. “Put on Northanger Abbey.”
At that, Brian turned his head to look at you properly, one eyebrow lifting in amusement.
“…Seriously?”
“Yes, seriously,” you nodded.
“You’re choosing Northanger Abbey over Pride & Prejudice?”
“Absolutely.”
“You?” he asked dramatically, placing one hand against his chest. “You, who has watched the 2005 Pride & Prejudice enough times to qualify for residency at Pemberley?”
You snorted. “First of all, rude,” you replied, even though it was certainly true. “Second of all, this is different.”
“Oh?” Brian asked, clearly entertained now. “And how exactly is this different?”
You shrugged lightly, trying – and failing – to look unaffected and casual.
“...Well,” you began slowly, “I’m dating Henry Tilney now, so...”
The grin that spread across Brian’s face was immediate and helpless all at once.
“Oh, my god,” he laughed softly. “You’re still on this?”
“You’re the one who brought up Mr. Darcy in the first place,” you reminded him.
“Yeah, and you destroyed my argument in under thirty seconds.”
“Because I was right! I am right!”
Brian shook his head fondly before shifting closer, his arm tightening around your waist. “And you’re still standing by that?” he murmured.
“I am,” you replied easily. “You’re not brooding enough to be Darcy.”
“Wow.”
“You smile too much,” you continued.
“Wow.”
“You actually enjoy talking to people.”
“Okay, that one feels personal.”
You laughed quietly as he pressed another kiss to the side of your head.
“And besides,” you added more softly, curling a little closer into his side, “Henry Tilney was always my favorite, anyway.”
That earned you a moment of unusual silence.
Not awkward silence, just unusual since, as you just established, Brian typically enjoyed talking.
You titled your head up to see Brian looking at you with that same unbearably warm expression that still made your chest feel too full every time you caught it directed at you.
“…Yeah?” he asked quietly, searching your face as affection poured out of his gaze.
“Yeah,” you whispered.
His smile softened into something almost shy before he leaned down to kiss you – a kiss slow and familiar by now, yet still capable of making your heart trip over itself.
When he pulled back, he rested his forehead briefly against yours.
“Well,” he murmured, voice warm with amusement, “good thing you ended up with him, then.”
You’d never been so nervous to go into a Book Club meeting in your life. Nervous enough that you hadn’t even gotten out of your car to go into the Community Center, yet.
In the week between your last Bad Date-slash-movie night with Brian that felt a little… we’ll say different and now – the day of the Book Club meeting, you and Brian had fallen into a routine that felt exactly the same as it always had.
But also not the same at all.
You still texted each other. You still met up for coffee. You still had debates about insignificant things like whether cereal counted as dinner.
But now… in-between those familiarities…
There were moments.
Small moments, so they were pretty easy to ignore.
But as the days went on, you were beginning to find that maybe they were easier not to. Maybe… you didn’t want to ignore them.
Like the way he’d started remembering things you didn’t recall telling him – your usual takeout order, for instance, including the sauce on the side that you, yourself, frequently forgot.
Or the way you’d caught yourself thinking about that night —
The couch. The blanket. How you’d said nice out loud like it had been too much to keep to yourself.
You hadn’t brought it up to him, though.
Then again, neither had he, which was probably for the best. Because if you did —
Well.
You weren’t entirely sure what would happen, but it was very possible that everything would change. And you were still trying to decide whether or not you wanted things to change. Whether or not that change would be good, because it could, in fact, end very, very badly.
Suddenly, your spiraling thoughts were interrupted by a knock on your window, and your heart leaped up into your throat as you jumped in surprise.
Brian was now standing next to your car, his brow furrowed in confusion, so you let your pulse slow down somewhat before opening the door to get out.
“The meeting is about to start,” he said in lieu of a greeting. “I saw you were still in your car, so I thought I’d wait for you, but then you weren’t getting out.”
“Sorry,” you replied hurriedly, reaching in to grab your copy of Pride & Prejudice before closing your car door. “I was… just zoning out, I guess.”
Brian’s look of confusion morphed into one of concern – a subtle difference, but you caught it.
…And just when did you gain the ability to pick up on the nuances of Brian’s different facial expressions, huh?
Whatever, it’s not important.
“Everything okay?” he asked, his gaze searching your face.
“Of course,” you assured him. “I think I’m just… nervous about who’s going to win the bet. I really don’t want to buy you dinner.”
You’d pulled one corner of your lips up into a smirk as you’d said that, and Brian responded by rolling his eyes.
“Didn’t you just pay for takeout the other night?”
“Because you offered to pick it up,” you pointed out. “That’s different.”
Brian opened his mouth to rebut, but apparently, thought better of it. So, instead, he said, “If we don’t go inside now, we’ll be late, and since I’m leading the discussion…”
“Lead the way,” you said, gesturing toward the entrance.
Brian hesitated briefly, and you could tell he was probably going to ask you if you were sure you were okay – so, you didn’t even give him a chance to.
“Go,” you chuckled, shooing him away from your car and following him. “Like you just said, we’ll be late!”
And, funnily enough (but not actually funny at all), now that Brian was standing/walking next to you, all of your worries seemed to fade into the background of your mind.
“Wait, wait, hold on,” one of your fellow Book Club members, June, said. “I – There’s just no way you told him that you’re a government spy who trains pigeons and he believed it!”
You pressed your lips together to keep from laughing and nodded slowly. “I wish it wasn’t true, but yes, I did tell him that. And he did believe me.”
The rest of the Club burst into laughter.
“I don’t know about you guys,” another member, Aimee, said. “But between the podcast, the emotional evolution, and the government spy, I have to give the bet to Y/N.”
“Your dates were bad, too, Brian,” June added with a friendly but placating smile. “But… I have to agree. Y/N’s dates were definitely worse.”
Every one else nodded and murmured their agreement, and then Aimee led a round of applause for you.
You stood from your chair, plastering an ‘I’m so grateful and humbled’ expression on your face, dramatically clutching your hands at your heart. “Wow, I can’t believe this. I’d like to thank the Academy and my ability to spot red flags from a mile away and, most of all, my best friend, Brian.”
You gestured to him sitting next to you, and he lifted one hand in acknowledgement.
“Without him, this bet wouldn’t have been possible – it would’ve just been me going on three really terrible dates.”
As you’d hoped, the room filled with appreciative chuckles.
“I don’t take this honor lightly, and I will enjoy my free meal with your generosity in mind.”
The Club applauded for you yet again, and after one final smile and wave, you took your seat.
You glanced over at Brian and saw he was clapping along with everyone else – but he was also smiling at you, and the look on his face… You didn’t want to say it was… loving, but… that’s kind of what it felt like.
Were you totally and completely imagining things? Did all of these little moments and gestures and looks actually mean something? Or was your brain being overactive?
…Unfortunately, the quickest and best way to find the answer to that would be to just ask him.
But how?
How on Earth were you supposed to ask one of your closest friends, someone you’d known for years, if the more-than-friendly tension between the two of you was real or if you were just imagining it?
Since the discussion and vote on the bet had followed the discussion of Pride & Prejudice, the Club members began to stand and disperse.
Your mind was too distracted to stay and chat with anyone, so you reached for your book and purse in silence before getting up and heading toward the door.
When you reached the small foyer of the Community Center, though, you felt someone approach you from behind – and then you saw Brian’s arm reach out and open the door for you.
Why were you surprised?
“So,” he began with a sigh. “I owe you dinner.”
To hide the buzz of activity in your brain, you raised your eyebrows and pasted a grin onto your lips. “That you do.”
“Are you… free tonight?” he asked. But then he quickly raised his wrist up to check the time. “Right now, I guess?”
Oh! He wanted to take you out to dinner right now! Tonight!
Okay!
“I am,” you nodded.
Before you could even begin to think of where you wanted to go, Brian took a half-step closer to you and said, “How about… Rue Saint Claire?”
You couldn’t stop yourself from rearing your head back in surprise, just a little, because Rue Saint Claire was a nice restaurant. It wasn’t a Michelin-star, can’t-get-a-reservation place, per se, but it was certainly more upscale and intimate than your usual hangouts.
Your frenzied, overwrought brain told you to ask him if he was sure – wasn’t that place too expensive, too cozy, too date-like?
But what you ended up replying with was, “Sounds great.”
“If you want, we can take my car, and I can drop you back off here after?”
Perfect! Not only has Brian asked to treat you to a dinner at a really nice French restaurant that the two of you had never been to before, but now he was offering to take you there!
This was sounding suspiciously more and more like a date!
“Okay!” you replied, hearing the strain of anxiety creeping into your voice.
But if Brian heard that anxiety, he ignored it. Which was just as well, because how could you explain it to him? Even explaining it to yourself, it sounded insane.
Just to be safe, though, you followed him to his car in silence and kept the conversation during the ride there to an absolute minimum – and even then, you only talked about the Book Club discussion.
But you knew you wouldn’t be able to get away with that at the dinner table, and that was more than a little daunting.
“Are you sure about this?” you murmured just after a very well-dressed maître d’ showed you to your table – a very, very cozy table tucked in the corner of this very, very cozy, dimly-lit restaurant that had soft Parisian instrumental music playing in the background.
“Yes, I’m sure,” Brian chuckled. “We just went on three really bad dates. I think we deserve something nice.”
You had been gazing around the restaurant, taking in just how intimate and quaint and nice and, frankly, romantic it was – but Brian’s answer made your gaze land on him.
“Okay, well, when you put it like that,” you said with a relenting shrug. “Yes, I agree, We deserve something nice.”
A server approached your table, then, and before you could order your usual water or diet soda, Brian requested two glasses of Bordeaux and a cheese plate for the table.
Of course, as soon as the server left, you opened your mouth to protest – but Brian beat you to it.
“We just went over this,” he said with a slight smirk. “We deserve something nice, so we’re getting something nice. You can have as many glasses of wine as you want. I’ll only have the one, and I can drive you home and pick your car up tomorrow if we have to. Deal?”
You slumped down into your chair just a bit, a frown tugging at your lips. Because he realy was doing too much! This wasn’t necessary!
But Brian was Brian, and he wasn’t going to give in. In fact, the more you protested, the more he would dig his heels in and try to make the evening even more extravagant.
“Deal,” you muttered. “Thank you.”
He replied with simply a nod, the corners of his lips forming a soft smile, and that was your final sign to just let it go. Accept your prize for winning the bet, and enjoy this night out with one of your closest friends.
As you waited for the server to return with your wine and cheese, the two of you perused the menu, chatting softly about what sounded good (everything) and whether or not you should share multiple entrees so you could try more (yes, absolutely).
Then, once the server arrived and set down your glasses and plates, took your order, and left, Brian lifted his glass of wine and held it out toward you. You did the same, and since he’d done it first, you waited for him to decide what the ‘cheers’ was for.
“To really, really awful dates,” he said, grinning softly. “May we never go on any more ever again.”
“Oh, I will cheers to that,” you chuckled before gently tapping your glass against his and taking a sip. The wine was deliciously dry and fruity, and honestly, probably the best wine you’d ever tasted. “Wow, this is really good.”
Brian hummed in agreement.
“Anyway,” you sighed, carefully setting your glass down and folding your arms on the edge of the table. “I think I’ve decided that I’m done with dating for a while.”
Maybe forever? Who’s to say?
“Oh?” Brian replied, his brow notched questioningly.
You pressed your lips together and nodded slowly.
And you assumed that Brian would agree with you because why wouldn’t he? He’d been on three bad dates, too. Surely, he was also drained and didn’t want to waste any more time going on dates.
But, to your surprise, he frowned and said, “That’s too bad.”
You frowned right back at him.
“...How so?” you asked, your tone almost one of suspicion.
Because what did he mean?
Brian inhaled deeply then, and… if you didn’t know any better, you’d say he looked… nervous.
But Brian didn’t get nervous. I mean, he’d never been visibly nervous about something the whole time you’d known him, not even during presentations or exams at University.
So what on Earth could be making him nervous now?
“It’s too bad that you don’t want to go on any more dates because I was hoping this could be a date.”
…You blinked at him.
“I – what?” you gaped.
“If you don’t want to –”
“No, wait,” you interrupted, though you weren’t entirely sure why you’d interrupted other than this weird feeling in your gut that you needed to. “I just… I’m… I guess I’m… confused?”
“What, my picking When Harry Met Sally…for movie night wasn’t enough of a hint?” he asked with a chuckle.
What was that supposed to mean?!
“Hint?” you asked dumbly.
“It’s the ultimate friends-to-lovers rom-com,” he explained.
“Well, yeah, I know that, but – what – “
You paused. You took a deep breath. And then you reached over, placing a hand on Brian’s wrist.
“I need you to explain everything to me without leaving out a single detail.”
A smirk tugged at Brian’s lips, and he moved his free hand to cover yours, taking hold of it and lifting it off his arm. But rather than setting your hand back on the table, in your own personal space, he held it. He delicately stroked his thumb over the back of your hand.
And, boy, did that make your stomach do somersaults.
“Going on those dates with those girls who were so completely wrong for me, where I felt so uncomfortable and uneasy, like I couldn’t be myself, and then immediately hanging out with you after each one – where things were completely the opposite – just made me realize that I wasn’t going to find someone who I wanted to spend time with more than I want to spend time with you.”
He paused, then, and you took another breath.
“But… they were bad dates,” you pointed out, though there was barely any strength to your voice at this point.
“I know,” he chuckled. “But that doesn’t matter. I just… know.”
“...Know what?” you whispered.
“That I don’t want anyone else but you. You’re literally everything I could ever want in a partner and more, and… I’m in love with you.”
You simply stopped breathing then, and because of that, you lost the ability to say anything.
After a few moments of silence, Brian started to let go of your hand and said, “It’s okay if you don’t –”
This caused a flurry of panic inside of your chest, and you quickly took his hand back. “No, it’s not – Wait, hold on.”
Brian paused again and, thankfully, didn’t let go of your hand.
“Hold on,” you repeated, trying to give yourself some time to gather your thoughts. "I just need to – so, all of those… moments between us were not my imagination running away with me?”
“No, but I’m curious to hear what moments stood out to you.”
You narrowed your eyes at him, conveying your irritation – Brian may be in love with you, but he was still as obnoxious as ever.
“Well, you didn’t wake me up when I fell asleep on your shoulder, first of all. In fact, it seems like you purposely let me sleep instead of waking me up with your scene-by-scene commentary, plus the volume was lower, and the blanket, and –”
“Yes,” he interrupted. “You may not have noticed that my movie choice had meaning, but at least you noticed all of that.”
“And you got my order right at that one place earlier this week, but I didn’t even tell you what I wanted,” you added.
Brian simply nodded, but then said, “I wanted you to see that I pay attention.”
“And… I don’t know, I’ve just been feeling this… tension. But not a bad tension, just…”
You trailed off, and Brian squeezed your hand.
“I think that tension, as you call it, is just my feelings for you.”
You nodded slowly, allowing his words – the ones he’d just said as well as everything else – settle over you.
You weren’t imagining things. Brian did, indeed, have feelings for you, and he’d been showing you.
But now that you no longer had to worry about that, you did have to worry about… whether or not you felt the same.
“I –” you began. “Bear with me, okay?”
Brian just squeezed your hand again.
“I don’t… know… how I feel about you. I mean, I know that I love you so much as a person, and I cherish your friendship so deeply. I just… don’t know… if it’s more than that. And I don’t mean that in a ‘I don’t think I can ever have more than friendly feelings for you’ way. I mean that I very well could also be… in love with you. I just haven’t realized it. I… I don’t know.”
“You very well could be in love with me?” he asked, eyebrows raised expectantly.
“Well – okay, for example,” you began. “Movie night. I texted you right when I left the restaurant, and I just assumed you would reply immediately. But you didn’t, and… that bothered me. I couldn’t stop thinking about why you weren’t texting me. And, actually, even before that! During my date with Emotionally Evolved guy, I kept thinking about you and if you’d been there and how your date was going and… and hoping you would text me. And then you put your jacket on me. And… and, also, I noticed the tension but wasn’t grossed out, and after I woke up and you said you should leave, I… I wanted you to stay.”
During this quasi-incoherent speech, your gaze had been focused mainly on the table or on Brian’s hand holding yours.
But now, you lifted your eyes to look at him – or, rather, to look back at him, since he was already gazing over at you.
“So… that all kind of sounds like I possibly could have feelings for you,” you admitted, your voice only now betraying how nervous you were.
“Possibly,” Brian agreed. “But I don’t want to rush you or pressure you. If you need some time, you can take as much as you need.”
Honestly, hearing those words lifted a pretty big weight off of your shoulders, and you actually let out a sigh of relief.
I mean, not that you thought Brian would give you an ultimatum or anything. He was obnoxious, but he wasn’t unreasonable.
Most of the time.
“Okay,” you whispered. “Thank you.”
Brian squeezed your hand one last time before letting it go and reaching for the cheese plate.
Surprisingly, the rest of the dinner was incredibly normal. There was no awkwardness, no discomfort, no uneasy silence.
In fact, there may have actually been some flirting?
The idea of flirting with your best friend was still somewhat strange, though, so you couldn’t be sure.
Nonetheless, the food was exquisite, you limited yourself to a singular glass of wine, and… if you were being honest, you couldn’t think of anyone else you’d rather have sitting across the table from you.
When you thought about all of the excruciating dates you’d just been on in the last month, it made tonight seem like the best evening you could possibly imagine.
And then, before you knew it, Brian paid the check, and the two of you made your way out to the parking lot.
Now, this was new. You hadn’t made it this far on any of your bad dates, so you weren’t used to this part of the date. And the fact that you were with Brian?
Your heart began to beat out of your chest.
With the sun long gone and the sky bathed in deep evening blue, a chill had settled into the air, sharp enough to raise goosebumps across your skin.
When you suddenly felt Brian’s hands brush your shoulders, you jumped, realizing your gaze had been glued to the ground – but then, when you actually looked up, you saw he was, yet again, putting his jacket over your shoulders, and a grin sprang to your lips.
The instinct to reach out and take his hand, linking your fingers together, tugged at you. It just felt… natural.
But before you could give into that instinct, Brian murmured, “I’ll get the door for you,” and you discovered you’d already made it to his car.
That instinct was still tugging at you, though, but not necessarily to hold his hand. You just couldn’t figure out what.
And, to top it all off, you also still couldn’t figure out if you returned his feelings.
You kind of assumed that you did, but there hadn’t been any sort of lightbulb moment during dinner. And, for some reason, you needed a lightbulb moment.
So, you moved to stand in front of the car door handle, stopping Brian from opening it. You took a breath, and you turned to face him.
If a lightbulb moment wasn’t going to present itself, then you’d have to invite one on your own.
“Can you…” you began, finding your voice was shakier than you’d prefer.
Were you nervous? Yes, of course. What you were about to ask would change everything. But you didn’t want it to be obvious that you were nervous.
Brian furrowed his brow, his gaze locked on yours.
Y/N, just say it.
“Can you kiss me?”
Brian’s head jerked back in surprise, just slightly, and his mouth fell open to form a small ‘O.’
“Can I –”
“Just to see,” you clarified hurriedly. “Y’know, if I… feel anything.”
He nodded slowly, and said, “Ah, I see.” But you saw a ghost of a smirk on his lips.
As he took one step closer to you, you tilted your head up and closed your eyes, mentally preparing yourself to feel his lips on yours.
…
…
…Any second now.
…
…
You carefully peeked through one eye, seeing that he was still just standing there.
“Are you –”
“Yes,” he chuckled. “I’m getting there. You’re not the only one who’s nervous here, y’know.”
“Okay, sorry.”
You closed your eye again.
“Thank you for your patience,” he murmured. He had, apparently, stepped even closer because you could feel his breath on your forehead.
“You’re welcome,” you whispered.
And then, you felt his fingers gently brushing against your cheek — so lightly and carefully, like he was giving you time to pull away if you wanted to.
But you didn’t pull away.
His palm curved around your cheek, and just after his thumb delicately pushed up under your chin to tilt your head… he kissed you.
His lips were soft against yours, wanting but not at all desperate, and it took you less than a second to decide that it was the sweetest yet most devastating kiss of your life so far.
…And also the most brief.
As slow as he’d been to initiate the kiss, he was just as quick to end it.
When he pulled back, you blinked at him.
“...Was it that bad?” you asked, your voice barely a whisper.
“What? No,” he answered. “What do you mean?”
And you realized that your response was going to tell him everything he needed to know about your feelings – it would tell you everything you needed to know about your feelings.
“You ended it too soon.”
Unsurprisingly, one corner of Brian’s mouth tugged up into a half-grin, and he laughed softly.
“My apologies,” he chuckled before swiftly and smoothly capturing your lips in another kiss.
This time, you slid your arms around his middle, resting your hands on his back and gently clutching his shirt in your fingers. And, after a few moments, you even rose up onto your toes, giving him every indication that you were, indeed, kissing him back.
Really kissing him back, as if you’d been kissing each other for years.
And, honestly, maybe that was your lightbulb moment.
Not the kiss itself, not the butterflies in your stomach or the warmth blooming through your chest, or even the way your heart was now on a mission to beat itself right out of your body.
No, the lightbulb moment was just… how easy it felt. How natural.
There was no awkwardness, no uncertainty, no pressure to perform or impress or carefully calculate your every movement the way you had on every terrible date over the past month – or any date you’d ever been on in your whole adolescent and adult life, actually.
You weren’t wondering what Brian thought of you.
Because you already knew.
And you trusted it. You trusted him.
This realization settled somewhere deep inside you, so suddenly and so completely that it almost stole the breath from your lungs.
This wasn’t mentally or emotionally draining, and it wasn’t forced...
…It was Brian. Warm and familiar and safe in a way that felt almost life-altering now that you finally understood it.
When you finally pulled back, it was only far enough to look at him.
He tipped his forehead just enough, resting it lightly against yours. His hands were still steady against you, giving you every indication that he had no intention of letting go anytime soon.
And honestly?
Good.
A soft laugh escaped you, breathless and disbelieving all at once.
“…Yeah,” you murmured. “I love you, too.”
You felt him smile before you kissed him again.
“Can you turn on the TV?” you called out from the kitchen as you put away the leftover pizza and prepared to recycle the boxes.
“You got it,” Brian replied, and you heard him let out a soft groan, presumably as he plopped down onto your couch.
After you slid the leftovers into your fridge and popped into your garage to stuff the boxes in the recycling bin, you rushed over to the kitchen sink to wash your hands.
“Do you want anything else?” you asked, drying your hands with a towel.
“No, just you, get in here!” Brian answered with a slight whine.
“All right, I’m coming,” you chuckled.
Once your hands were dry (enough), you shuffled out of the kitchen and into your living room, hurrying around the back of the couch.
Brian held out his arm for you, impatiently waggling his fingers to invite you next to him.
“Goodness,” you sighed as you settled in at his side, a grin curving your lips when you felt his arm curl around and behind you, his hand landing on your hip and patting it affectionately. “So clingy tonight.”
“Tonight?” he asked. He then leaned even more toward you, pressing his lips to your temple. “I’m always clingy.”
“Mm, true,” you murmured.
Ever since that night – your official first date at Rue Saint Claire and the kiss in the parking lot – you’d spent time with Brian every day, without fail. You had each extended open invitations to each other’s home, and while you had cashed in on yours more than a few times to go and listen to him practice his music, Brian had basically become your permanent houseguest (not that you were complaining).
He also took you out whenever you both had time – dinners, lunches, breakfasts, plays and musicals, walks in the park, concerts, used bookstore crawls, museums.
But you had to say, your favorite dates were those just like tonight – cozy movie nights at your place, just like old times.
Except now, of course, there was exponentially more cuddling and kissing involved.
Brian leaned back against the couch then, remote in hand as he scrolled through the options.
“Okay,” he said after a moment. “I’m thinking Pride & Prejudice.”
But you had something else in mind, and you didn’t even hesitate to reply with, “No.”
Brian huffed out a quiet, bemused laugh. “Wow. Immediate rejection.”
“Well, I know what I want,” you stated. “Put on Northanger Abbey.”
At that, Brian turned his head to look at you properly, one eyebrow lifting in amusement.
“…Seriously?”
“Yes, seriously,” you nodded.
“You’re choosing Northanger Abbey over Pride & Prejudice?”
“Absolutely.”
“You?” he asked dramatically, placing one hand against his chest. “You, who has watched the 2005 Pride & Prejudice enough times to qualify for residency at Pemberley?”
You snorted. “First of all, rude,” you replied, even though it was certainly true. “Second of all, this is different.”
“Oh?” Brian asked, clearly entertained now. “And how exactly is this different?”
You shrugged lightly, trying – and failing – to look unaffected and casual.
“...Well,” you began slowly, “I’m dating Henry Tilney now, so...”
The grin that spread across Brian’s face was immediate and helpless all at once.
“Oh, my god,” he laughed softly. “You’re still on this?”
“You’re the one who brought up Mr. Darcy in the first place,” you reminded him.
“Yeah, and you destroyed my argument in under thirty seconds.”
“Because I was right! I am right!”
Brian shook his head fondly before shifting closer, his arm tightening around your waist. “And you’re still standing by that?” he murmured.
“I am,” you replied easily. “You’re not brooding enough to be Darcy.”
“Wow.”
“You smile too much,” you continued.
“Wow.”
“You actually enjoy talking to people.”
“Okay, that one feels personal.”
You laughed quietly as he pressed another kiss to the side of your head.
“And besides,” you added more softly, curling a little closer into his side, “Henry Tilney was always my favorite, anyway.”
That earned you a moment of unusual silence.
Not awkward silence, just unusual since, as you just established, Brian typically enjoyed talking.
You titled your head up to see Brian looking at you with that same unbearably warm expression that still made your chest feel too full every time you caught it directed at you.
“…Yeah?” he asked quietly, searching your face as affection poured out of his gaze.
“Yeah,” you whispered.
His smile softened into something almost shy before he leaned down to kiss you – a kiss slow and familiar by now, yet still capable of making your heart trip over itself.
When he pulled back, he rested his forehead briefly against yours.
“Well,” he murmured, voice warm with amusement, “good thing you ended up with him, then.”
A very familiar sense of dread settled over you as you pulled into a parking space at one of the more up-and-coming restaurants in town -- one you hadn't yet been to but had heard good things about from multiple sources.
But that's not the point.
The point is that a very familiar sense of dread settled over you just before you walked into your third, and final, Bad Date. A sense of dread you were used to feeling before a date, but a normal date. Not a Bad Date that you were only going on to try and win a bet.
Before your other two dates -- Podcast Guy and Deep Dive Psyche Guy -- you hadn't felt this dread at all. You'd been nervous, but only because you'd really wanted them to go so terribly. You hadn't had any qualms or reservations about going on the actual date itself.
But now, it seems, you did.
You stopped your car, turned off the engine, let out a sigh, and leaned over to rest your forehead on your steering wheel.
You didn't want to do this.
Even though you could tell that Date #3 -- Cole -- was going to be probably the most harmless so far (he just seemed... dumb and boring, to be brutally honest), you still didn't want to do this.
Even though you were most likely going to get a free meal, you didn't want to do this.
Even though it was also likely you would get another free meal from winning the bet... you didn't want to do this!
You were just emotionally exhausted. Mentally exhausted. And the combination of the two was making you feel as if you were physically exhausted.
To put it simply: you wanted to just go home right now, change into your pajamas, flop on the couch, and watch one of your comfort television shows.
Actually... the sound of that was almost too good to turn down. Without even unbuckling your seatbelt, you grabbed your phone and opened your dating app, fully intending to message Cole that you had to cancel last-minute.
But before you could, a text message came through.
From Brian.
Good luck! ❤️
...Okay, why did that actually make you feel better? Why did that give you enough emotional, mental, and physical energy to get out of your car and go into the restaurant?
I mean, yes, Brian was your friend. One of your closest friends, really.
Your best friend?
And his message was heartfelt. He'd even sent you a heart emoji!
So, yeah, it shouldn't be that surprising that a heartfelt message with a heart emoji made you feel better.
But... still.
Whatever, you wouldn't waste too much time overthinking it.
(Right now, at least).
You had a date to go on!
"What did you say you do again?" Cole asked, looking across the table at you with the most genuine expression of confusion.
An expression that would be cute on a very small child or, say, a dog.
But not a fully grown man with whom you were on a date.
You'd been absolutely right -- the guy was dumb and boring.
And since you'd already told him twice what you did for work, you decided to have some fun. It's not like this date was ever going to go anywhere, so why not?
"Actually, I'm a government spy," you said in hushed tones, leaning forward just a bit. "But if I tell you anything more, I'd have to kill you."
Cole -- bless his heart -- answered by nodding twice, then silently zipping his lips.
"And you," you prompted. "You said you're... taking a gap year? I thought that was only for University students?"
"Oh, no, anyone can take a gap year," Cole answered. "I was working a desk job, but I realized that's not what I want to do with my life."
"Ah, so you took a year off to figure things out?"
"Yeah..." Cole replied, though he sounded anything but certain. "I just felt like I needed time to focus on my goals."
You raised your eyebrows, intrigued. You had a feeling this was going to be good -- and by good, you meant bad.
"What goals?" you asked, doing your best to sound curious.
You nodded slowly, as if you completely understood what he meant.
You didn't, of course.
"How?"
"What?"
"Bettering yourself how?" you asked with a somewhat strained smile.
"Oh, right. Just, like... in general."
You could only blink at him in response.
And, then, when he didn't say anything after a full minute, you finally squeaked out an "Oh!"
Thankfully, the server arrived with your food, and you hoped Cole would be too busy focusing on eating to continue the conversation. Or continue any conversation.
Alas.
As soon as he finished his first bite, he took a breath and asked, "So, like, what do you actually do."
Oh, here we go again.
"Didn't I just --"
"No, but what do you do as a -- y'know," he repeated.
...Are you kidding me?
He was asking you -- someone he thought was a government spy -- what you do?
Okay, it was time to see just how far you could take this.
"I train carrier pigeons for government surveillance," you deadpanned. "Among other things."
A half-smile tugged at Cole's lips, and he said, "Oh, that's sick."
My god.
You couldn't wait to tell Brian about this.
"It is," you agreed. "But enough about me. I can't say much more, anyway. Unless you have Top Secret level security clearance."
Cole's eyes widened a bit, and he shook his head. "That's a real thing?"
"Um... yes," you replied, finding that you sounded like a Preschool Teacher telling a toddler the answer to a very obvious question, but since they're a toddler, it's not obvious to them. Just to you because you're an adult.
But Cole was also an adult.
"Wow," he breathed.
"What do you do for fun?" you asked, hoping desperately he wouldn't ask about your life as a spy again.
Cole shifted around in his seat, and the look on his face morphed into one of disappointment -- yeah, he was going to ask about your life as a spy again.
"I like to hang out," he answered, lifting one shoulder in a shrug.
"...Hang out?" you prompted. "Hang out... with friends? Where? Doing what?"
"Yeah, with my friends," he confirmed with a nod. "Just doing... stuff."
You sat there for a few moments, simply staring and blinking at him.
If he hadn't already answered questions in an almost identical manner, you would ask him if he was joking.
"Sounds fun," you finally replied, though your voice sounded falsely enthusiastic even to your own ears.
But, unsurprisingly, Cole didn't notice.
You began to wonder when you could cut this date short and make your escape without being too obvious.
Would Cole even notice if you were being too obvious, though?
I think we all know that the answer is No.
So, you let yourself enjoy your meal (because free food is free food), and you basically smiled and nodded at every dumb thing he said.
Then, as soon as you finished your last bite, you set your utensils down and said, "Well, I have to be going. I can't stay out too late, I have to... be up early for a mission."
Cole's eyes widened, and his gaze followed you as you stood from your chair and grabbed your bag.
"What kind of mission?" he asked.
You paused, narrowed your eyes at him, and said in hushed tones, "I've already said too much."
"Right, of course," Cole murmured. He began to stand up, presumably to walk you out or hug you good-bye, but...
Was there even any use pretending you were going to see him again?
So, before he could do either of those -- before he could even say anything -- you looked him in the eye and said, "If you speak about this to anyone, there's no telling what may happen to you."
And then you breezed past him and marched out of the restaurant.
Honestly, the second you stepped out into the parking lot, you felt like Nicole Kidman after getting divorced.
You were free! No more bad dates!
Actually, no more dates, period!
Unless you wanted to, of course. Unless you found someone you were interested in enough to date.
Obviously.
But for now, you were free!
No more podcasts! No more psyche deep dives! No more spy missions!
Honestly, you felt like skipping through the parking lot back to your car, but you settled for smiling like a goofball.
And, as after your other two dates, you got out your phone and sent a quick text to Brian as soon as you could.
I'm done with my last date 🥴
Once you sent it, you expected to get a reply just moments later, simply because that's what had occurred previously.
So when you didn't get a message back within a few seconds, you got your keys out and got into your car.
Still no reply.
You turned the engine over and buckled your seatbelt.
Still no reply.
You decided to just drive home because, honestly, you were beat. You needed some time to rot on your couch and not stress about these dates.
And to take your mind off of everything -- the dates and your best friend not texting you back, even though he had a perfectly valid reason to reply at a later time -- you turned your music up for your drive home. Singing power ballads at the top of your lungs was the perfect medicine for anything that ailed you, really.
Did that stop you from glancing at your notifications all the way home, though? Just to see if Brian had texted you back?
Shhh... we don't have to talk about that.
Because admitting that you were watching your phone like a hawk to catch Brian's reply meant that you'd have to admit that you wanted so desperately for Brian to reply to you. And admitting that meant... something else entirely that you couldn't quite put into words. Something you didn't want to put into words.
Brian was your friend, yes. Your best friend, as we touched on earlier. Of course, it was natural for you to want him to reply to your message. The two of you had met up after your other bad dates to debrief and spend time together, so you'd assumed you would do the same after this one, but had you actually made any concrete plans to do that?
Well, kind of. You'd brought it up at Spill the Beans a couple of weeks ago.
But still. You hadn't planned on exactly where and when to meet up before your dates tonight, so it didn't really matter.
(If it didn't really matter, why were you overthinking it so much?)
(Again -- shhh... we don't have to talk about that!)
You shook your head to get rid of all of these anxieties and focused on singing along to your music.
But since your date had been at a local restaurant, it only took about ten minutes to get home -- not nearly enough time to forget about how much space Brian and his non-reply were taking up in your mind.
Because seriously, why were you thinking about Brian so much?
You huffed out a sigh as you parked your car in your garage and headed into your house, dumping your bag on your kitchen counter, kicking off your shoes, and shuffling listlessly to your couch.
And you decidedly kept your phone in your pocket because who cares if Brian texted you back or not?
You cared, but you didn't want to, so you forced yourself not to.
...But then.
Just as you reached for the remote on your coffee table, you saw the flash of headlights on your wall, signaling someone had just pulled into your driveway.
And then you heard the sound of someone opening and closing a car door.
Before you had a chance to stand up and creep over to your front door so you could peek out of the window to see who it was, your front door opened.
You wanted to strangle your heart for how high it jumped up into your throat upon seeing Brian in your doorway.
"What --" you began.
"Before I come in and get settled, do you want me to go get anything?" he asked, leaving the door ajar in case he needed to leave again. "Are you hungry? Thirsty?"
"No, I just ate," you answered quickly. "What are --"
Brian closed the door behind him, stepped out of his shoes, and made his way over to join you on the couch.
You were finally able to finish your question once he plopped down next to you.
"What are you doing here?"
He furrowed his brow, but instead of turning his head to look at you, he leaned forward to grab the remote.
"Our debrief?" he replied, holding the remote out for you.
"But you didn't text me back."
"I didn't?" he asked, the notch between his eyebrows getting deeper. And then he reached into his pocket, getting his phone out and tapping on the screen to navigate to your message thread. "Oh, shit, sorry."
He held his phone toward you, showing you that he'd typed out a reply but, apparently, hadn't actually pressed the button to send it to you.
He'd said Sorry, just got out of mine. I'll be over in a few mins.
And, sure enough, when you finally took your phone out of your own pocket, you saw he'd read your message just a minute or two before you got home.
You felt incredibly silly for worrying so much.
"How was your date?" he asked as he set his phone screen-down on your coffee table and slid it away from him.
After a brief pause, you did the same before answering him. "Well," you began with a sigh. "I told him that I'm a government spy with top secret security clearance, and he believed me."
Brian shook his head slightly, leaning closer to you. "Wait, you what?"
A grin tugged at your lips at the memory and in anticipation of telling Brian about just how dumb Cole had been.
"But that's not all," you added before launching into a synopsis of the whole conversation.
Brian, as you knew he would, reacted with nothing but shock, confusion, and disgust. Basically, everything you thought and felt as the conversation had been actually happening!
"I... I think I'm speechless," Brian said after you'd finished relaying every last word.
"What?!" you cried with a shocked chuckle. "You? Speechless?! I never thought I'd see the day."
"I know, me either," Brian replied. "I just... don't understand how someone could be that..."
Both of you said the word 'Dumb' at the exact same time.
"Same," you agreed. "But we were wrong."
"I really hate being proven wrong," he sighed.
"Me too."
You let out a sigh to match his before settling even further into the back of your couch. Then, after a beat or two of silence, you turned to look at him again. "What about yours?"
Brian glanced over at you, meeting your eyes for only a second or two before answering. "Ah, Sophie," he murmured. "It wasn't as bad as yours, but I'm definitely not admitting that you're probably going to win."
"Okay," you relented with an amused eye roll.
"She started off by asking a really deep, personal question, and when I pointed out that it was a deep, personal question, she said she 'doesn't do small talk.' Which, fine, okay. I get that."
"Wait, what was the question?" you asked.
You expected Brian to tell you immediately, but to your surprise, he hesitated.
"It was... I can't really remember exactly what it was, but it was about what I need in a relationship. Or, like, what I didn't realize I needed until I found it. Or... something."
Okay, yep, that's pretty personal.
And if this were any other person, you would let it go and allow them to move on with the story.
But... it was Brian, and he was your friend, and... there was a part of you that really, really wanted to know what he'd said.
"And?" you prompted.
Brian huffed out a quiet breath, leaning back against the couch as he ran a hand through his hair.
“I said…” he started, then paused again, as if he was trying to figure out how to word it. “I said I didn’t realize how much I needed someone to actually engage with me.”
You frowned slightly, listening.
“Like, not just listen, but… push back a little. Call me out when I’m being annoying,” he continued, a faint smile tugging at his lips. “Keep up, I guess. Make things feel… easy. Comfortable.”
Your chest did something weird at that.
You ignored it because why would your chest do something weird at that? It made no sense; therefore, you decided it wasn’t worth acknowledging.
“And was she like that?” you asked, keeping your tone light.
Brian shook his head.
“No,” he said simply. “It just felt kind of… forced. Like we were both trying to say the right thing instead of just… talking.”
You hummed in understanding, nodding slowly.
“That’s the worst,” you agreed. “At least mine was entertainingly bad.”
“Yeah,” Brian snorted. “I can’t compete with government pigeon surveillance.”
“You really can’t,” you said. “That was peak performance on my part, I’m not going to lie.”
He laughed again, softer this time, and the conversation tapered off into a comfortable silence.
And that’s when you felt it — the exhaustion you’d been holding off all evening was finally settling in for real.
Your limbs felt heavier. Your head felt fuzzier.
So, you leaned back further into the couch, letting out a slow breath. “I think I’m officially done interacting with people for the day,” you muttered.
Brian glanced over at you. “That bad?”
“That exhausting,” you corrected.
There was just a beat of silence, and then –
“Movie?” Brian suggested.
You nodded immediately. “Yes. Please. Something easy. If I have to think, I’m out.”
“Got it,” he said, already reaching for the remote.
While he clicked through the movies, you reached behind you to grab a blanket. Without thinking much about it, you spread the blanket over both of your laps — I mean, the two of you were sitting closely enough to share one, so why not? It was a big blanket. And it was purely for warmth and comfort purposes. It's not like the two of you would be cuddling or anything.
...Why did you even think that? What was going on with you tonight? First, your chest did something inexplicably weird, and now your brain was thinking about cuddling?
You adjusted the edge of the blanket, smoothing it down over your knees like that would somehow make the strange goings-on less noticeable.
Brian glanced down at your laps briefly. “You’re really committing to that, huh?” he asked, and it was then you noticed you were still fiddling with the blanket. You quickly stopped before you answered him.
“It’s cold,” you explained. “And you were within range.”
“Within range,” he repeated.
“You should feel honored,” you added, settling back into the couch. “Not everyone gets access to the deluxe blanket experience.”
“Wow,” he deadpanned. “I didn’t realize this was exclusive.”
“It is. Don’t let it go to your head.”
He huffed a quiet laugh, shifting slightly beside you — close enough that your knee brushed his under the blanket.
You didn’t move.
“Just don’t take it personally if I fall asleep,” you added after a moment. “It’s been a long day.”
“I’ll try not to be offended,” he smirked.
“You can still try to be entertaining, though,” you murmured. “Don’t hold yourself back on my account.”
“No promises.”
Thankfully, the sound of a movie starting gave you something else to focus on.
And thankfully, part two, what you saw on the television screen made you sigh with relief.
“When Harry Met Sally…,” you murmured with obvious approval. “I couldn’t have chosen better myself.”
“I know it’s not Jane Austen, but —”
“I don’t watch only Jane Austen adaptations, you know,” you scoffed.
“ I—” Brian reached underneath the blanket and poked you in the side. “Know.”
You let out a tired shriek and swatted his hand away.
“Assaulting me while I’m already weak,” you accused, your brow furrowed in consternation.
“Strategic timing,” he replied easily.
You glanced at him, narrowing your eyes just slightly to show your disapproval.
Then you shifted back against the couch, meaning to put a little space between the two of you —
But you didn’t.
Your leg was still pressed against his under the blanket, warm and unmoving.
“…If I do fall asleep, I’m blaming you for this,” you muttered.
“For what?”
“For making me feel too comfortable.”
The words slipped out before you could really think about them.
There was a beat.
Then Brian smiled, just a little.
“Yeah,” he said lightly. “That sounds like my fault. Because I’m the one who brought out the blanket, after all.”
You huffed, turning your attention back to the screen — but you still didn’t move away.
As the opening interviews and Harry Connick, Jr. song played, you really did try to pay attention to the movie.
You did, honestly.
But somewhere between the familiar dialogue and the steady warmth at your side, your focus started to slip.
Your eyes felt heavier.
Your thoughts became slower.
You shifted slightly, getting more comfortable, your shoulder brushing his — and then, somehow, it stayed there.
You barely registered it. You barely registered anything, really.
And at some point, your head tipped… and came to rest against his shoulder.
You had a very brief, very foggy moment of awareness.
I should move, you thought to yourself.
But you didn’t. You just couldn’t make yourself do it. You were too tired and too comfortable, both physically and mentally.
And Brian didn’t react, so you had to assume he didn’t mind.
And that was all you needed to allow yourself to drift asleep.
When you blinked your eyes open again, the room was dimmer than before.
The movie was still playing, but quieter than earlier — low enough that it barely filled the space of your living room.
For a second, you didn’t move.
Didn’t think.
And then—
Oh.
You were leaning against something.
Warm. Solid.
You straightened slowly, blinking as the realization settled in.
Brian.
You’d fallen asleep on Brian.
For… who knows how long?
You glanced over at him, half-expecting him to be asleep too, but he was already looking at you.
“Hey,” he said quietly.
“Hi,” you mumbled, your voice still thick with sleep. “Sorry — did I—”
You gestured vaguely toward his shoulder.
“You fell asleep,” he said simply.
You shifted, and that’s when you noticed —
The blanket had been pulled up higher around you. The volume on the TV had been turned down.
He’d… adjusted things to make you more comfortable, to allow you to sleep. The movie was already almost over, and he hadn’t woken you up with his commentary or questions.
You swallowed, suddenly a little more awake.
“I didn’t mean to,” you said.
“It’s fine,” Brian replied easily. “You warned me.”
You let out a soft huff of a laugh, rubbing a hand over your face.
“What did I miss?” you asked as you glanced back at the screen, even though you knew full well you had missed basically the whole movie.
“Pretty much all of it,” he chuckled. “You were out before they even made it to New York.”
“Rude,” you muttered.
“Eh, you’ve seen it before,” he pointed out, lifting one shoulder into a half-shrug.
“Still,” you said, though there was no real bite to it.
A small quiet settled between you.
But, somehow, it was a different kind of silence than before.
It was somehow… softer.
You shifted again, then, sitting up a little straighter now.
“I should probably —” you started, though you had no idea where you were going with this thought.
“Yeah,” Brian said, already leaning forward slightly. “I should head out.”
There was the faintest flicker of something in your chest at that.
And, just as you had earlier in the evening, you ignored it. Because it was, indeed, late, and that thing in your chest was slowly morphing into an unfamiliar yearning for him to stay the night.
So, you stood up and walked him to the door, arms loosely folded as you leaned against the doorframe.
You glanced at him then — but immediately paused.
Because he was already looking at you. Not like he was waiting for you to finish talking, and not like he was about to make a joke, but just… looking.
You held his gaze for a second too long before something in your chest flipped, sudden and unfamiliar.
Maybe you had to go to the doctor to get some sort of screening because, seriously, what was going on underneath your sternum tonight?!
“Thanks for staying,” you found yourself blurting out.
Brian’s expression shifted just slightly, as if he hadn’t been expecting you to say that – and, let’s be real, you felt the same way.
“Yeah,” he replied, his voice softer than normal. “Of course.”
And you knew immediately that if you lingered any longer, things would get entirely too awkward for comfort. So, you took a step back and began to close the door, prompting Brian to bid his final goodbye before turning toward your driveway.
After he left, you stood there for a moment, staring at your closed front door.
Then, almost as if you were on autopilot, you turned and walked back toward your couch.
The movie credits were rolling quietly on the screen, soft music filling the room in a way that felt almost… intrusive, now that everything else was so still and the room was empty save for yourself.
The blanket was exactly where you’d left it.
Where he’d left it.
You didn’t think too hard about that as you sat down, pulling it back over your lap without much thought, tucking it around yourself like you hadn’t just been sharing it with your best friend only minutes ago.
The couch was still warm, but that was normal.
Or was it? Honestly, you weren’t really sure about anything at the moment.
You leaned back, staring at the TV without really seeing it, your mind catching up in slow, uneven pieces..
The movie.
Falling asleep.
Waking up on his shoulder.
The way he’d already been looking at you.
The way he’d turned the volume down.
The way he hadn’t made it weird.
The way he’d just… stayed.
Your fingers tightened slightly in the blanket, the feel of the soft, plush fabric somehow helping to ground you in reality.
That was…
You exhaled slowly, your thoughts finally starting to form into something coherent—
But then they immediately stalled out.
Because whatever word was sitting there didn’t feel like something you could just… think and move on from.
It felt heavier than that.
So instead —
“…Nice,” you said out loud, the word quiet but definite in the otherwise empty room.
You blinked, like you hadn’t expected to hear it.
Too nice.
Your mouth pressed into a thin line as you stared at the TV, your reflection faint in the darkened screen.
A very familiar sense of dread settled over you as you pulled into a parking space at one of the more up-and-coming restaurants in town -- one you hadn't yet been to but had heard good things about from multiple sources.
But that's not the point.
The point is that a very familiar sense of dread settled over you just before you walked into your third, and final, Bad Date. A sense of dread you were used to feeling before a date, but a normal date. Not a Bad Date that you were only going on to try and win a bet.
Before your other two dates -- Podcast Guy and Deep Dive Psyche Guy -- you hadn't felt this dread at all. You'd been nervous, but only because you'd really wanted them to go so terribly. You hadn't had any qualms or reservations about going on the actual date itself.
But now, it seems, you did.
You stopped your car, turned off the engine, let out a sigh, and leaned over to rest your forehead on your steering wheel.
You didn't want to do this.
Even though you could tell that Date #3 -- Cole -- was going to be probably the most harmless so far (he just seemed... dumb and boring, to be brutally honest), you still didn't want to do this.
Even though you were most likely going to get a free meal, you didn't want to do this.
Even though it was also likely you would get another free meal from winning the bet... you didn't want to do this!
You were just emotionally exhausted. Mentally exhausted. And the combination of the two was making you feel as if you were physically exhausted.
To put it simply: you wanted to just go home right now, change into your pajamas, flop on the couch, and watch one of your comfort television shows.
Actually... the sound of that was almost too good to turn down. Without even unbuckling your seatbelt, you grabbed your phone and opened your dating app, fully intending to message Cole that you had to cancel last-minute.
But before you could, a text message came through.
From Brian.
Good luck! ❤️
...Okay, why did that actually make you feel better? Why did that give you enough emotional, mental, and physical energy to get out of your car and go into the restaurant?
I mean, yes, Brian was your friend. One of your closest friends, really.
Your best friend?
And his message was heartfelt. He'd even sent you a heart emoji!
So, yeah, it shouldn't be that surprising that a heartfelt message with a heart emoji made you feel better.
But... still.
Whatever, you wouldn't waste too much time overthinking it.
(Right now, at least).
You had a date to go on!
"What did you say you do again?" Cole asked, looking across the table at you with the most genuine expression of confusion.
An expression that would be cute on a very small child or, say, a dog.
But not a fully grown man with whom you were on a date.
You'd been absolutely right -- the guy was dumb and boring.
And since you'd already told him twice what you did for work, you decided to have some fun. It's not like this date was ever going to go anywhere, so why not?
"Actually, I'm a government spy," you said in hushed tones, leaning forward just a bit. "But if I tell you anything more, I'd have to kill you."
Cole -- bless his heart -- answered by nodding twice, then silently zipping his lips.
"And you," you prompted. "You said you're... taking a gap year? I thought that was only for University students?"
"Oh, no, anyone can take a gap year," Cole answered. "I was working a desk job, but I realized that's not what I want to do with my life."
"Ah, so you took a year off to figure things out?"
"Yeah..." Cole replied, though he sounded anything but certain. "I just felt like I needed time to focus on my goals."
You raised your eyebrows, intrigued. You had a feeling this was going to be good -- and by good, you meant bad.
"What goals?" you asked, doing your best to sound curious.
You nodded slowly, as if you completely understood what he meant.
You didn't, of course.
"How?"
"What?"
"Bettering yourself how?" you asked with a somewhat strained smile.
"Oh, right. Just, like... in general."
You could only blink at him in response.
And, then, when he didn't say anything after a full minute, you finally squeaked out an "Oh!"
Thankfully, the server arrived with your food, and you hoped Cole would be too busy focusing on eating to continue the conversation. Or continue any conversation.
Alas.
As soon as he finished his first bite, he took a breath and asked, "So, like, what do you actually do."
Oh, here we go again.
"Didn't I just --"
"No, but what do you do as a -- y'know," he repeated.
...Are you kidding me?
He was asking you -- someone he thought was a government spy -- what you do?
Okay, it was time to see just how far you could take this.
"I train carrier pigeons for government surveillance," you deadpanned. "Among other things."
A half-smile tugged at Cole's lips, and he said, "Oh, that's sick."
My god.
You couldn't wait to tell Brian about this.
"It is," you agreed. "But enough about me. I can't say much more, anyway. Unless you have Top Secret level security clearance."
Cole's eyes widened a bit, and he shook his head. "That's a real thing?"
"Um... yes," you replied, finding that you sounded like a Preschool Teacher telling a toddler the answer to a very obvious question, but since they're a toddler, it's not obvious to them. Just to you because you're an adult.
But Cole was also an adult.
"Wow," he breathed.
"What do you do for fun?" you asked, hoping desperately he wouldn't ask about your life as a spy again.
Cole shifted around in his seat, and the look on his face morphed into one of disappointment -- yeah, he was going to ask about your life as a spy again.
"I like to hang out," he answered, lifting one shoulder in a shrug.
"...Hang out?" you prompted. "Hang out... with friends? Where? Doing what?"
"Yeah, with my friends," he confirmed with a nod. "Just doing... stuff."
You sat there for a few moments, simply staring and blinking at him.
If he hadn't already answered questions in an almost identical manner, you would ask him if he was joking.
"Sounds fun," you finally replied, though your voice sounded falsely enthusiastic even to your own ears.
But, unsurprisingly, Cole didn't notice.
You began to wonder when you could cut this date short and make your escape without being too obvious.
Would Cole even notice if you were being too obvious, though?
I think we all know that the answer is No.
So, you let yourself enjoy your meal (because free food is free food), and you basically smiled and nodded at every dumb thing he said.
Then, as soon as you finished your last bite, you set your utensils down and said, "Well, I have to be going. I can't stay out too late, I have to... be up early for a mission."
Cole's eyes widened, and his gaze followed you as you stood from your chair and grabbed your bag.
"What kind of mission?" he asked.
You paused, narrowed your eyes at him, and said in hushed tones, "I've already said too much."
"Right, of course," Cole murmured. He began to stand up, presumably to walk you out or hug you good-bye, but...
Was there even any use pretending you were going to see him again?
So, before he could do either of those -- before he could even say anything -- you looked him in the eye and said, "If you speak about this to anyone, there's no telling what may happen to you."
And then you breezed past him and marched out of the restaurant.
Honestly, the second you stepped out into the parking lot, you felt like Nicole Kidman after getting divorced.
You were free! No more bad dates!
Actually, no more dates, period!
Unless you wanted to, of course. Unless you found someone you were interested in enough to date.
Obviously.
But for now, you were free!
No more podcasts! No more psyche deep dives! No more spy missions!
Honestly, you felt like skipping through the parking lot back to your car, but you settled for smiling like a goofball.
And, as after your other two dates, you got out your phone and sent a quick text to Brian as soon as you could.
I'm done with my last date 🥴
Once you sent it, you expected to get a reply just moments later, simply because that's what had occurred previously.
So when you didn't get a message back within a few seconds, you got your keys out and got into your car.
Still no reply.
You turned the engine over and buckled your seatbelt.
Still no reply.
You decided to just drive home because, honestly, you were beat. You needed some time to rot on your couch and not stress about these dates.
And to take your mind off of everything -- the dates and your best friend not texting you back, even though he had a perfectly valid reason to reply at a later time -- you turned your music up for your drive home. Singing power ballads at the top of your lungs was the perfect medicine for anything that ailed you, really.
Did that stop you from glancing at your notifications all the way home, though? Just to see if Brian had texted you back?
Shhh... we don't have to talk about that.
Because admitting that you were watching your phone like a hawk to catch Brian's reply meant that you'd have to admit that you wanted so desperately for Brian to reply to you. And admitting that meant... something else entirely that you couldn't quite put into words. Something you didn't want to put into words.
Brian was your friend, yes. Your best friend, as we touched on earlier. Of course, it was natural for you to want him to reply to your message. The two of you had met up after your other bad dates to debrief and spend time together, so you'd assumed you would do the same after this one, but had you actually made any concrete plans to do that?
Well, kind of. You'd brought it up at Spill the Beans a couple of weeks ago.
But still. You hadn't planned on exactly where and when to meet up before your dates tonight, so it didn't really matter.
(If it didn't really matter, why were you overthinking it so much?)
(Again -- shhh... we don't have to talk about that!)
You shook your head to get rid of all of these anxieties and focused on singing along to your music.
But since your date had been at a local restaurant, it only took about ten minutes to get home -- not nearly enough time to forget about how much space Brian and his non-reply were taking up in your mind.
Because seriously, why were you thinking about Brian so much?
You huffed out a sigh as you parked your car in your garage and headed into your house, dumping your bag on your kitchen counter, kicking off your shoes, and shuffling listlessly to your couch.
And you decidedly kept your phone in your pocket because who cares if Brian texted you back or not?
You cared, but you didn't want to, so you forced yourself not to.
...But then.
Just as you reached for the remote on your coffee table, you saw the flash of headlights on your wall, signaling someone had just pulled into your driveway.
And then you heard the sound of someone opening and closing a car door.
Before you had a chance to stand up and creep over to your front door so you could peek out of the window to see who it was, your front door opened.
You wanted to strangle your heart for how high it jumped up into your throat upon seeing Brian in your doorway.
"What --" you began.
"Before I come in and get settled, do you want me to go get anything?" he asked, leaving the door ajar in case he needed to leave again. "Are you hungry? Thirsty?"
"No, I just ate," you answered quickly. "What are --"
Brian closed the door behind him, stepped out of his shoes, and made his way over to join you on the couch.
You were finally able to finish your question once he plopped down next to you.
"What are you doing here?"
He furrowed his brow, but instead of turning his head to look at you, he leaned forward to grab the remote.
"Our debrief?" he replied, holding the remote out for you.
"But you didn't text me back."
"I didn't?" he asked, the notch between his eyebrows getting deeper. And then he reached into his pocket, getting his phone out and tapping on the screen to navigate to your message thread. "Oh, shit, sorry."
He held his phone toward you, showing you that he'd typed out a reply but, apparently, hadn't actually pressed the button to send it to you.
He'd said Sorry, just got out of mine. I'll be over in a few mins.
And, sure enough, when you finally took your phone out of your own pocket, you saw he'd read your message just a minute or two before you got home.
You felt incredibly silly for worrying so much.
"How was your date?" he asked as he set his phone screen-down on your coffee table and slid it away from him.
After a brief pause, you did the same before answering him. "Well," you began with a sigh. "I told him that I'm a government spy with top secret security clearance, and he believed me."
Brian shook his head slightly, leaning closer to you. "Wait, you what?"
A grin tugged at your lips at the memory and in anticipation of telling Brian about just how dumb Cole had been.
"But that's not all," you added before launching into a synopsis of the whole conversation.
Brian, as you knew he would, reacted with nothing but shock, confusion, and disgust. Basically, everything you thought and felt as the conversation had been actually happening!
"I... I think I'm speechless," Brian said after you'd finished relaying every last word.
"What?!" you cried with a shocked chuckle. "You? Speechless?! I never thought I'd see the day."
"I know, me either," Brian replied. "I just... don't understand how someone could be that..."
Both of you said the word 'Dumb' at the exact same time.
"Same," you agreed. "But we were wrong."
"I really hate being proven wrong," he sighed.
"Me too."
You let out a sigh to match his before settling even further into the back of your couch. Then, after a beat or two of silence, you turned to look at him again. "What about yours?"
Brian glanced over at you, meeting your eyes for only a second or two before answering. "Ah, Sophie," he murmured. "It wasn't as bad as yours, but I'm definitely not admitting that you're probably going to win."
"Okay," you relented with an amused eye roll.
"She started off by asking a really deep, personal question, and when I pointed out that it was a deep, personal question, she said she 'doesn't do small talk.' Which, fine, okay. I get that."
"Wait, what was the question?" you asked.
You expected Brian to tell you immediately, but to your surprise, he hesitated.
"It was... I can't really remember exactly what it was, but it was about what I need in a relationship. Or, like, what I didn't realize I needed until I found it. Or... something."
Okay, yep, that's pretty personal.
And if this were any other person, you would let it go and allow them to move on with the story.
But... it was Brian, and he was your friend, and... there was a part of you that really, really wanted to know what he'd said.
"And?" you prompted.
Brian huffed out a quiet breath, leaning back against the couch as he ran a hand through his hair.
“I said…” he started, then paused again, as if he was trying to figure out how to word it. “I said I didn’t realize how much I needed someone to actually engage with me.”
You frowned slightly, listening.
“Like, not just listen, but… push back a little. Call me out when I’m being annoying,” he continued, a faint smile tugging at his lips. “Keep up, I guess. Make things feel… easy. Comfortable.”
Your chest did something weird at that.
You ignored it because why would your chest do something weird at that? It made no sense; therefore, you decided it wasn’t worth acknowledging.
“And was she like that?” you asked, keeping your tone light.
Brian shook his head.
“No,” he said simply. “It just felt kind of… forced. Like we were both trying to say the right thing instead of just… talking.”
You hummed in understanding, nodding slowly.
“That’s the worst,” you agreed. “At least mine was entertainingly bad.”
“Yeah,” Brian snorted. “I can’t compete with government pigeon surveillance.”
“You really can’t,” you said. “That was peak performance on my part, I’m not going to lie.”
He laughed again, softer this time, and the conversation tapered off into a comfortable silence.
And that’s when you felt it — the exhaustion you’d been holding off all evening was finally settling in for real.
Your limbs felt heavier. Your head felt fuzzier.
So, you leaned back further into the couch, letting out a slow breath. “I think I’m officially done interacting with people for the day,” you muttered.
Brian glanced over at you. “That bad?”
“That exhausting,” you corrected.
There was just a beat of silence, and then –
“Movie?” Brian suggested.
You nodded immediately. “Yes. Please. Something easy. If I have to think, I’m out.”
“Got it,” he said, already reaching for the remote.
While he clicked through the movies, you reached behind you to grab a blanket. Without thinking much about it, you spread the blanket over both of your laps — I mean, the two of you were sitting closely enough to share one, so why not? It was a big blanket. And it was purely for warmth and comfort purposes. It's not like the two of you would be cuddling or anything.
...Why did you even think that? What was going on with you tonight? First, your chest did something inexplicably weird, and now your brain was thinking about cuddling?
You adjusted the edge of the blanket, smoothing it down over your knees like that would somehow make the strange goings-on less noticeable.
Brian glanced down at your laps briefly. “You’re really committing to that, huh?” he asked, and it was then you noticed you were still fiddling with the blanket. You quickly stopped before you answered him.
“It’s cold,” you explained. “And you were within range.”
“Within range,” he repeated.
“You should feel honored,” you added, settling back into the couch. “Not everyone gets access to the deluxe blanket experience.”
“Wow,” he deadpanned. “I didn’t realize this was exclusive.”
“It is. Don’t let it go to your head.”
He huffed a quiet laugh, shifting slightly beside you — close enough that your knee brushed his under the blanket.
You didn’t move.
“Just don’t take it personally if I fall asleep,” you added after a moment. “It’s been a long day.”
“I’ll try not to be offended,” he smirked.
“You can still try to be entertaining, though,” you murmured. “Don’t hold yourself back on my account.”
“No promises.”
Thankfully, the sound of a movie starting gave you something else to focus on.
And thankfully, part two, what you saw on the television screen made you sigh with relief.
“When Harry Met Sally…,” you murmured with obvious approval. “I couldn’t have chosen better myself.”
“I know it’s not Jane Austen, but —”
“I don’t watch only Jane Austen adaptations, you know,” you scoffed.
“ I—” Brian reached underneath the blanket and poked you in the side. “Know.”
You let out a tired shriek and swatted his hand away.
“Assaulting me while I’m already weak,” you accused, your brow furrowed in consternation.
“Strategic timing,” he replied easily.
You glanced at him, narrowing your eyes just slightly to show your disapproval.
Then you shifted back against the couch, meaning to put a little space between the two of you —
But you didn’t.
Your leg was still pressed against his under the blanket, warm and unmoving.
“…If I do fall asleep, I’m blaming you for this,” you muttered.
“For what?”
“For making me feel too comfortable.”
The words slipped out before you could really think about them.
There was a beat.
Then Brian smiled, just a little.
“Yeah,” he said lightly. “That sounds like my fault. Because I’m the one who brought out the blanket, after all.”
You huffed, turning your attention back to the screen — but you still didn’t move away.
As the opening interviews and Harry Connick, Jr. song played, you really did try to pay attention to the movie.
You did, honestly.
But somewhere between the familiar dialogue and the steady warmth at your side, your focus started to slip.
Your eyes felt heavier.
Your thoughts became slower.
You shifted slightly, getting more comfortable, your shoulder brushing his — and then, somehow, it stayed there.
You barely registered it. You barely registered anything, really.
And at some point, your head tipped… and came to rest against his shoulder.
You had a very brief, very foggy moment of awareness.
I should move, you thought to yourself.
But you didn’t. You just couldn’t make yourself do it. You were too tired and too comfortable, both physically and mentally.
And Brian didn’t react, so you had to assume he didn’t mind.
And that was all you needed to allow yourself to drift asleep.
When you blinked your eyes open again, the room was dimmer than before.
The movie was still playing, but quieter than earlier — low enough that it barely filled the space of your living room.
For a second, you didn’t move.
Didn’t think.
And then—
Oh.
You were leaning against something.
Warm. Solid.
You straightened slowly, blinking as the realization settled in.
Brian.
You’d fallen asleep on Brian.
For… who knows how long?
You glanced over at him, half-expecting him to be asleep too, but he was already looking at you.
“Hey,” he said quietly.
“Hi,” you mumbled, your voice still thick with sleep. “Sorry — did I—”
You gestured vaguely toward his shoulder.
“You fell asleep,” he said simply.
You shifted, and that’s when you noticed —
The blanket had been pulled up higher around you. The volume on the TV had been turned down.
He’d… adjusted things to make you more comfortable, to allow you to sleep. The movie was already almost over, and he hadn’t woken you up with his commentary or questions.
You swallowed, suddenly a little more awake.
“I didn’t mean to,” you said.
“It’s fine,” Brian replied easily. “You warned me.”
You let out a soft huff of a laugh, rubbing a hand over your face.
“What did I miss?” you asked as you glanced back at the screen, even though you knew full well you had missed basically the whole movie.
“Pretty much all of it,” he chuckled. “You were out before they even made it to New York.”
“Rude,” you muttered.
“Eh, you’ve seen it before,” he pointed out, lifting one shoulder into a half-shrug.
“Still,” you said, though there was no real bite to it.
A small quiet settled between you.
But, somehow, it was a different kind of silence than before.
It was somehow… softer.
You shifted again, then, sitting up a little straighter now.
“I should probably —” you started, though you had no idea where you were going with this thought.
“Yeah,” Brian said, already leaning forward slightly. “I should head out.”
There was the faintest flicker of something in your chest at that.
And, just as you had earlier in the evening, you ignored it. Because it was, indeed, late, and that thing in your chest was slowly morphing into an unfamiliar yearning for him to stay the night.
So, you stood up and walked him to the door, arms loosely folded as you leaned against the doorframe.
You glanced at him then — but immediately paused.
Because he was already looking at you. Not like he was waiting for you to finish talking, and not like he was about to make a joke, but just… looking.
You held his gaze for a second too long before something in your chest flipped, sudden and unfamiliar.
Maybe you had to go to the doctor to get some sort of screening because, seriously, what was going on underneath your sternum tonight?!
“Thanks for staying,” you found yourself blurting out.
Brian’s expression shifted just slightly, as if he hadn’t been expecting you to say that – and, let’s be real, you felt the same way.
“Yeah,” he replied, his voice softer than normal. “Of course.”
And you knew immediately that if you lingered any longer, things would get entirely too awkward for comfort. So, you took a step back and began to close the door, prompting Brian to bid his final goodbye before turning toward your driveway.
After he left, you stood there for a moment, staring at your closed front door.
Then, almost as if you were on autopilot, you turned and walked back toward your couch.
The movie credits were rolling quietly on the screen, soft music filling the room in a way that felt almost… intrusive, now that everything else was so still and the room was empty save for yourself.
The blanket was exactly where you’d left it.
Where he’d left it.
You didn’t think too hard about that as you sat down, pulling it back over your lap without much thought, tucking it around yourself like you hadn’t just been sharing it with your best friend only minutes ago.
The couch was still warm, but that was normal.
Or was it? Honestly, you weren’t really sure about anything at the moment.
You leaned back, staring at the TV without really seeing it, your mind catching up in slow, uneven pieces..
The movie.
Falling asleep.
Waking up on his shoulder.
The way he’d already been looking at you.
The way he’d turned the volume down.
The way he hadn’t made it weird.
The way he’d just… stayed.
Your fingers tightened slightly in the blanket, the feel of the soft, plush fabric somehow helping to ground you in reality.
That was…
You exhaled slowly, your thoughts finally starting to form into something coherent—
But then they immediately stalled out.
Because whatever word was sitting there didn’t feel like something you could just… think and move on from.
It felt heavier than that.
So instead —
“…Nice,” you said out loud, the word quiet but definite in the otherwise empty room.
You blinked, like you hadn’t expected to hear it.
Too nice.
Your mouth pressed into a thin line as you stared at the TV, your reflection faint in the darkened screen.
A very familiar sense of dread settled over you as you pulled into a parking space at one of the more up-and-coming restaurants in town -- one you hadn't yet been to but had heard good things about from multiple sources.
But that's not the point.
The point is that a very familiar sense of dread settled over you just before you walked into your third, and final, Bad Date. A sense of dread you were used to feeling before a date, but a normal date. Not a Bad Date that you were only going on to try and win a bet.
Before your other two dates -- Podcast Guy and Deep Dive Psyche Guy -- you hadn't felt this dread at all. You'd been nervous, but only because you'd really wanted them to go so terribly. You hadn't had any qualms or reservations about going on the actual date itself.
But now, it seems, you did.
You stopped your car, turned off the engine, let out a sigh, and leaned over to rest your forehead on your steering wheel.
You didn't want to do this.
Even though you could tell that Date #3 -- Cole -- was going to be probably the most harmless so far (he just seemed... dumb and boring, to be brutally honest), you still didn't want to do this.
Even though you were most likely going to get a free meal, you didn't want to do this.
Even though it was also likely you would get another free meal from winning the bet... you didn't want to do this!
You were just emotionally exhausted. Mentally exhausted. And the combination of the two was making you feel as if you were physically exhausted.
To put it simply: you wanted to just go home right now, change into your pajamas, flop on the couch, and watch one of your comfort television shows.
Actually... the sound of that was almost too good to turn down. Without even unbuckling your seatbelt, you grabbed your phone and opened your dating app, fully intending to message Cole that you had to cancel last-minute.
But before you could, a text message came through.
From Brian.
Good luck! ❤️
...Okay, why did that actually make you feel better? Why did that give you enough emotional, mental, and physical energy to get out of your car and go into the restaurant?
I mean, yes, Brian was your friend. One of your closest friends, really.
Your best friend?
And his message was heartfelt. He'd even sent you a heart emoji!
So, yeah, it shouldn't be that surprising that a heartfelt message with a heart emoji made you feel better.
But... still.
Whatever, you wouldn't waste too much time overthinking it.
(Right now, at least).
You had a date to go on!
"What did you say you do again?" Cole asked, looking across the table at you with the most genuine expression of confusion.
An expression that would be cute on a very small child or, say, a dog.
But not a fully grown man with whom you were on a date.
You'd been absolutely right -- the guy was dumb and boring.
And since you'd already told him twice what you did for work, you decided to have some fun. It's not like this date was ever going to go anywhere, so why not?
"Actually, I'm a government spy," you said in hushed tones, leaning forward just a bit. "But if I tell you anything more, I'd have to kill you."
Cole -- bless his heart -- answered by nodding twice, then silently zipping his lips.
"And you," you prompted. "You said you're... taking a gap year? I thought that was only for University students?"
"Oh, no, anyone can take a gap year," Cole answered. "I was working a desk job, but I realized that's not what I want to do with my life."
"Ah, so you took a year off to figure things out?"
"Yeah..." Cole replied, though he sounded anything but certain. "I just felt like I needed time to focus on my goals."
You raised your eyebrows, intrigued. You had a feeling this was going to be good -- and by good, you meant bad.
"What goals?" you asked, doing your best to sound curious.
You nodded slowly, as if you completely understood what he meant.
You didn't, of course.
"How?"
"What?"
"Bettering yourself how?" you asked with a somewhat strained smile.
"Oh, right. Just, like... in general."
You could only blink at him in response.
And, then, when he didn't say anything after a full minute, you finally squeaked out an "Oh!"
Thankfully, the server arrived with your food, and you hoped Cole would be too busy focusing on eating to continue the conversation. Or continue any conversation.
Alas.
As soon as he finished his first bite, he took a breath and asked, "So, like, what do you actually do."
Oh, here we go again.
"Didn't I just --"
"No, but what do you do as a -- y'know," he repeated.
...Are you kidding me?
He was asking you -- someone he thought was a government spy -- what you do?
Okay, it was time to see just how far you could take this.
"I train carrier pigeons for government surveillance," you deadpanned. "Among other things."
A half-smile tugged at Cole's lips, and he said, "Oh, that's sick."
My god.
You couldn't wait to tell Brian about this.
"It is," you agreed. "But enough about me. I can't say much more, anyway. Unless you have Top Secret level security clearance."
Cole's eyes widened a bit, and he shook his head. "That's a real thing?"
"Um... yes," you replied, finding that you sounded like a Preschool Teacher telling a toddler the answer to a very obvious question, but since they're a toddler, it's not obvious to them. Just to you because you're an adult.
But Cole was also an adult.
"Wow," he breathed.
"What do you do for fun?" you asked, hoping desperately he wouldn't ask about your life as a spy again.
Cole shifted around in his seat, and the look on his face morphed into one of disappointment -- yeah, he was going to ask about your life as a spy again.
"I like to hang out," he answered, lifting one shoulder in a shrug.
"...Hang out?" you prompted. "Hang out... with friends? Where? Doing what?"
"Yeah, with my friends," he confirmed with a nod. "Just doing... stuff."
You sat there for a few moments, simply staring and blinking at him.
If he hadn't already answered questions in an almost identical manner, you would ask him if he was joking.
"Sounds fun," you finally replied, though your voice sounded falsely enthusiastic even to your own ears.
But, unsurprisingly, Cole didn't notice.
You began to wonder when you could cut this date short and make your escape without being too obvious.
Would Cole even notice if you were being too obvious, though?
I think we all know that the answer is No.
So, you let yourself enjoy your meal (because free food is free food), and you basically smiled and nodded at every dumb thing he said.
Then, as soon as you finished your last bite, you set your utensils down and said, "Well, I have to be going. I can't stay out too late, I have to... be up early for a mission."
Cole's eyes widened, and his gaze followed you as you stood from your chair and grabbed your bag.
"What kind of mission?" he asked.
You paused, narrowed your eyes at him, and said in hushed tones, "I've already said too much."
"Right, of course," Cole murmured. He began to stand up, presumably to walk you out or hug you good-bye, but...
Was there even any use pretending you were going to see him again?
So, before he could do either of those -- before he could even say anything -- you looked him in the eye and said, "If you speak about this to anyone, there's no telling what may happen to you."
And then you breezed past him and marched out of the restaurant.
Honestly, the second you stepped out into the parking lot, you felt like Nicole Kidman after getting divorced.
You were free! No more bad dates!
Actually, no more dates, period!
Unless you wanted to, of course. Unless you found someone you were interested in enough to date.
Obviously.
But for now, you were free!
No more podcasts! No more psyche deep dives! No more spy missions!
Honestly, you felt like skipping through the parking lot back to your car, but you settled for smiling like a goofball.
And, as after your other two dates, you got out your phone and sent a quick text to Brian as soon as you could.
I'm done with my last date 🥴
Once you sent it, you expected to get a reply just moments later, simply because that's what had occurred previously.
So when you didn't get a message back within a few seconds, you got your keys out and got into your car.
Still no reply.
You turned the engine over and buckled your seatbelt.
Still no reply.
You decided to just drive home because, honestly, you were beat. You needed some time to rot on your couch and not stress about these dates.
And to take your mind off of everything -- the dates and your best friend not texting you back, even though he had a perfectly valid reason to reply at a later time -- you turned your music up for your drive home. Singing power ballads at the top of your lungs was the perfect medicine for anything that ailed you, really.
Did that stop you from glancing at your notifications all the way home, though? Just to see if Brian had texted you back?
Shhh... we don't have to talk about that.
Because admitting that you were watching your phone like a hawk to catch Brian's reply meant that you'd have to admit that you wanted so desperately for Brian to reply to you. And admitting that meant... something else entirely that you couldn't quite put into words. Something you didn't want to put into words.
Brian was your friend, yes. Your best friend, as we touched on earlier. Of course, it was natural for you to want him to reply to your message. The two of you had met up after your other bad dates to debrief and spend time together, so you'd assumed you would do the same after this one, but had you actually made any concrete plans to do that?
Well, kind of. You'd brought it up at Spill the Beans a couple of weeks ago.
But still. You hadn't planned on exactly where and when to meet up before your dates tonight, so it didn't really matter.
(If it didn't really matter, why were you overthinking it so much?)
(Again -- shhh... we don't have to talk about that!)
You shook your head to get rid of all of these anxieties and focused on singing along to your music.
But since your date had been at a local restaurant, it only took about ten minutes to get home -- not nearly enough time to forget about how much space Brian and his non-reply were taking up in your mind.
Because seriously, why were you thinking about Brian so much?
You huffed out a sigh as you parked your car in your garage and headed into your house, dumping your bag on your kitchen counter, kicking off your shoes, and shuffling listlessly to your couch.
And you decidedly kept your phone in your pocket because who cares if Brian texted you back or not?
You cared, but you didn't want to, so you forced yourself not to.
...But then.
Just as you reached for the remote on your coffee table, you saw the flash of headlights on your wall, signaling someone had just pulled into your driveway.
And then you heard the sound of someone opening and closing a car door.
Before you had a chance to stand up and creep over to your front door so you could peek out of the window to see who it was, your front door opened.
You wanted to strangle your heart for how high it jumped up into your throat upon seeing Brian in your doorway.
"What --" you began.
"Before I come in and get settled, do you want me to go get anything?" he asked, leaving the door ajar in case he needed to leave again. "Are you hungry? Thirsty?"
"No, I just ate," you answered quickly. "What are --"
Brian closed the door behind him, stepped out of his shoes, and made his way over to join you on the couch.
You were finally able to finish your question once he plopped down next to you.
"What are you doing here?"
He furrowed his brow, but instead of turning his head to look at you, he leaned forward to grab the remote.
"Our debrief?" he replied, holding the remote out for you.
"But you didn't text me back."
"I didn't?" he asked, the notch between his eyebrows getting deeper. And then he reached into his pocket, getting his phone out and tapping on the screen to navigate to your message thread. "Oh, shit, sorry."
He held his phone toward you, showing you that he'd typed out a reply but, apparently, hadn't actually pressed the button to send it to you.
He'd said Sorry, just got out of mine. I'll be over in a few mins.
And, sure enough, when you finally took your phone out of your own pocket, you saw he'd read your message just a minute or two before you got home.
You felt incredibly silly for worrying so much.
"How was your date?" he asked as he set his phone screen-down on your coffee table and slid it away from him.
After a brief pause, you did the same before answering him. "Well," you began with a sigh. "I told him that I'm a government spy with top secret security clearance, and he believed me."
Brian shook his head slightly, leaning closer to you. "Wait, you what?"
A grin tugged at your lips at the memory and in anticipation of telling Brian about just how dumb Cole had been.
"But that's not all," you added before launching into a synopsis of the whole conversation.
Brian, as you knew he would, reacted with nothing but shock, confusion, and disgust. Basically, everything you thought and felt as the conversation had been actually happening!
"I... I think I'm speechless," Brian said after you'd finished relaying every last word.
"What?!" you cried with a shocked chuckle. "You? Speechless?! I never thought I'd see the day."
"I know, me either," Brian replied. "I just... don't understand how someone could be that..."
Both of you said the word 'Dumb' at the exact same time.
"Same," you agreed. "But we were wrong."
"I really hate being proven wrong," he sighed.
"Me too."
You let out a sigh to match his before settling even further into the back of your couch. Then, after a beat or two of silence, you turned to look at him again. "What about yours?"
Brian glanced over at you, meeting your eyes for only a second or two before answering. "Ah, Sophie," he murmured. "It wasn't as bad as yours, but I'm definitely not admitting that you're probably going to win."
"Okay," you relented with an amused eye roll.
"She started off by asking a really deep, personal question, and when I pointed out that it was a deep, personal question, she said she 'doesn't do small talk.' Which, fine, okay. I get that."
"Wait, what was the question?" you asked.
You expected Brian to tell you immediately, but to your surprise, he hesitated.
"It was... I can't really remember exactly what it was, but it was about what I need in a relationship. Or, like, what I didn't realize I needed until I found it. Or... something."
Okay, yep, that's pretty personal.
And if this were any other person, you would let it go and allow them to move on with the story.
But... it was Brian, and he was your friend, and... there was a part of you that really, really wanted to know what he'd said.
"And?" you prompted.
Brian huffed out a quiet breath, leaning back against the couch as he ran a hand through his hair.
“I said…” he started, then paused again, as if he was trying to figure out how to word it. “I said I didn’t realize how much I needed someone to actually engage with me.”
You frowned slightly, listening.
“Like, not just listen, but… push back a little. Call me out when I’m being annoying,” he continued, a faint smile tugging at his lips. “Keep up, I guess. Make things feel… easy. Comfortable.”
Your chest did something weird at that.
You ignored it because why would your chest do something weird at that? It made no sense; therefore, you decided it wasn’t worth acknowledging.
“And was she like that?” you asked, keeping your tone light.
Brian shook his head.
“No,” he said simply. “It just felt kind of… forced. Like we were both trying to say the right thing instead of just… talking.”
You hummed in understanding, nodding slowly.
“That’s the worst,” you agreed. “At least mine was entertainingly bad.”
“Yeah,” Brian snorted. “I can’t compete with government pigeon surveillance.”
“You really can’t,” you said. “That was peak performance on my part, I’m not going to lie.”
He laughed again, softer this time, and the conversation tapered off into a comfortable silence.
And that’s when you felt it — the exhaustion you’d been holding off all evening was finally settling in for real.
Your limbs felt heavier. Your head felt fuzzier.
So, you leaned back further into the couch, letting out a slow breath. “I think I’m officially done interacting with people for the day,” you muttered.
Brian glanced over at you. “That bad?”
“That exhausting,” you corrected.
There was just a beat of silence, and then –
“Movie?” Brian suggested.
You nodded immediately. “Yes. Please. Something easy. If I have to think, I’m out.”
“Got it,” he said, already reaching for the remote.
While he clicked through the movies, you reached behind you to grab a blanket. Without thinking much about it, you spread the blanket over both of your laps — I mean, the two of you were sitting closely enough to share one, so why not? It was a big blanket. And it was purely for warmth and comfort purposes. It's not like the two of you would be cuddling or anything.
...Why did you even think that? What was going on with you tonight? First, your chest did something inexplicably weird, and now your brain was thinking about cuddling?
You adjusted the edge of the blanket, smoothing it down over your knees like that would somehow make the strange goings-on less noticeable.
Brian glanced down at your laps briefly. “You’re really committing to that, huh?” he asked, and it was then you noticed you were still fiddling with the blanket. You quickly stopped before you answered him.
“It’s cold,” you explained. “And you were within range.”
“Within range,” he repeated.
“You should feel honored,” you added, settling back into the couch. “Not everyone gets access to the deluxe blanket experience.”
“Wow,” he deadpanned. “I didn’t realize this was exclusive.”
“It is. Don’t let it go to your head.”
He huffed a quiet laugh, shifting slightly beside you — close enough that your knee brushed his under the blanket.
You didn’t move.
“Just don’t take it personally if I fall asleep,” you added after a moment. “It’s been a long day.”
“I’ll try not to be offended,” he smirked.
“You can still try to be entertaining, though,” you murmured. “Don’t hold yourself back on my account.”
“No promises.”
Thankfully, the sound of a movie starting gave you something else to focus on.
And thankfully, part two, what you saw on the television screen made you sigh with relief.
“When Harry Met Sally…,” you murmured with obvious approval. “I couldn’t have chosen better myself.”
“I know it’s not Jane Austen, but —”
“I don’t watch only Jane Austen adaptations, you know,” you scoffed.
“ I—” Brian reached underneath the blanket and poked you in the side. “Know.”
You let out a tired shriek and swatted his hand away.
“Assaulting me while I’m already weak,” you accused, your brow furrowed in consternation.
“Strategic timing,” he replied easily.
You glanced at him, narrowing your eyes just slightly to show your disapproval.
Then you shifted back against the couch, meaning to put a little space between the two of you —
But you didn’t.
Your leg was still pressed against his under the blanket, warm and unmoving.
“…If I do fall asleep, I’m blaming you for this,” you muttered.
“For what?”
“For making me feel too comfortable.”
The words slipped out before you could really think about them.
There was a beat.
Then Brian smiled, just a little.
“Yeah,” he said lightly. “That sounds like my fault. Because I’m the one who brought out the blanket, after all.”
You huffed, turning your attention back to the screen — but you still didn’t move away.
As the opening interviews and Harry Connick, Jr. song played, you really did try to pay attention to the movie.
You did, honestly.
But somewhere between the familiar dialogue and the steady warmth at your side, your focus started to slip.
Your eyes felt heavier.
Your thoughts became slower.
You shifted slightly, getting more comfortable, your shoulder brushing his — and then, somehow, it stayed there.
You barely registered it. You barely registered anything, really.
And at some point, your head tipped… and came to rest against his shoulder.
You had a very brief, very foggy moment of awareness.
I should move, you thought to yourself.
But you didn’t. You just couldn’t make yourself do it. You were too tired and too comfortable, both physically and mentally.
And Brian didn’t react, so you had to assume he didn’t mind.
And that was all you needed to allow yourself to drift asleep.
When you blinked your eyes open again, the room was dimmer than before.
The movie was still playing, but quieter than earlier — low enough that it barely filled the space of your living room.
For a second, you didn’t move.
Didn’t think.
And then—
Oh.
You were leaning against something.
Warm. Solid.
You straightened slowly, blinking as the realization settled in.
Brian.
You’d fallen asleep on Brian.
For… who knows how long?
You glanced over at him, half-expecting him to be asleep too, but he was already looking at you.
“Hey,” he said quietly.
“Hi,” you mumbled, your voice still thick with sleep. “Sorry — did I—”
You gestured vaguely toward his shoulder.
“You fell asleep,” he said simply.
You shifted, and that’s when you noticed —
The blanket had been pulled up higher around you. The volume on the TV had been turned down.
He’d… adjusted things to make you more comfortable, to allow you to sleep. The movie was already almost over, and he hadn’t woken you up with his commentary or questions.
You swallowed, suddenly a little more awake.
“I didn’t mean to,” you said.
“It’s fine,” Brian replied easily. “You warned me.”
You let out a soft huff of a laugh, rubbing a hand over your face.
“What did I miss?” you asked as you glanced back at the screen, even though you knew full well you had missed basically the whole movie.
“Pretty much all of it,” he chuckled. “You were out before they even made it to New York.”
“Rude,” you muttered.
“Eh, you’ve seen it before,” he pointed out, lifting one shoulder into a half-shrug.
“Still,” you said, though there was no real bite to it.
A small quiet settled between you.
But, somehow, it was a different kind of silence than before.
It was somehow… softer.
You shifted again, then, sitting up a little straighter now.
“I should probably —” you started, though you had no idea where you were going with this thought.
“Yeah,” Brian said, already leaning forward slightly. “I should head out.”
There was the faintest flicker of something in your chest at that.
And, just as you had earlier in the evening, you ignored it. Because it was, indeed, late, and that thing in your chest was slowly morphing into an unfamiliar yearning for him to stay the night.
So, you stood up and walked him to the door, arms loosely folded as you leaned against the doorframe.
You glanced at him then — but immediately paused.
Because he was already looking at you. Not like he was waiting for you to finish talking, and not like he was about to make a joke, but just… looking.
You held his gaze for a second too long before something in your chest flipped, sudden and unfamiliar.
Maybe you had to go to the doctor to get some sort of screening because, seriously, what was going on underneath your sternum tonight?!
“Thanks for staying,” you found yourself blurting out.
Brian’s expression shifted just slightly, as if he hadn’t been expecting you to say that – and, let’s be real, you felt the same way.
“Yeah,” he replied, his voice softer than normal. “Of course.”
And you knew immediately that if you lingered any longer, things would get entirely too awkward for comfort. So, you took a step back and began to close the door, prompting Brian to bid his final goodbye before turning toward your driveway.
After he left, you stood there for a moment, staring at your closed front door.
Then, almost as if you were on autopilot, you turned and walked back toward your couch.
The movie credits were rolling quietly on the screen, soft music filling the room in a way that felt almost… intrusive, now that everything else was so still and the room was empty save for yourself.
The blanket was exactly where you’d left it.
Where he’d left it.
You didn’t think too hard about that as you sat down, pulling it back over your lap without much thought, tucking it around yourself like you hadn’t just been sharing it with your best friend only minutes ago.
The couch was still warm, but that was normal.
Or was it? Honestly, you weren’t really sure about anything at the moment.
You leaned back, staring at the TV without really seeing it, your mind catching up in slow, uneven pieces..
The movie.
Falling asleep.
Waking up on his shoulder.
The way he’d already been looking at you.
The way he’d turned the volume down.
The way he hadn’t made it weird.
The way he’d just… stayed.
Your fingers tightened slightly in the blanket, the feel of the soft, plush fabric somehow helping to ground you in reality.
That was…
You exhaled slowly, your thoughts finally starting to form into something coherent—
But then they immediately stalled out.
Because whatever word was sitting there didn’t feel like something you could just… think and move on from.
It felt heavier than that.
So instead —
“…Nice,” you said out loud, the word quiet but definite in the otherwise empty room.
You blinked, like you hadn’t expected to hear it.
Too nice.
Your mouth pressed into a thin line as you stared at the TV, your reflection faint in the darkened screen.
A very familiar sense of dread settled over you as you pulled into a parking space at one of the more up-and-coming restaurants in town -- one you hadn't yet been to but had heard good things about from multiple sources.
But that's not the point.
The point is that a very familiar sense of dread settled over you just before you walked into your third, and final, Bad Date. A sense of dread you were used to feeling before a date, but a normal date. Not a Bad Date that you were only going on to try and win a bet.
Before your other two dates -- Podcast Guy and Deep Dive Psyche Guy -- you hadn't felt this dread at all. You'd been nervous, but only because you'd really wanted them to go so terribly. You hadn't had any qualms or reservations about going on the actual date itself.
But now, it seems, you did.
You stopped your car, turned off the engine, let out a sigh, and leaned over to rest your forehead on your steering wheel.
You didn't want to do this.
Even though you could tell that Date #3 -- Cole -- was going to be probably the most harmless so far (he just seemed... dumb and boring, to be brutally honest), you still didn't want to do this.
Even though you were most likely going to get a free meal, you didn't want to do this.
Even though it was also likely you would get another free meal from winning the bet... you didn't want to do this!
You were just emotionally exhausted. Mentally exhausted. And the combination of the two was making you feel as if you were physically exhausted.
To put it simply: you wanted to just go home right now, change into your pajamas, flop on the couch, and watch one of your comfort television shows.
Actually... the sound of that was almost too good to turn down. Without even unbuckling your seatbelt, you grabbed your phone and opened your dating app, fully intending to message Cole that you had to cancel last-minute.
But before you could, a text message came through.
From Brian.
Good luck! ❤️
...Okay, why did that actually make you feel better? Why did that give you enough emotional, mental, and physical energy to get out of your car and go into the restaurant?
I mean, yes, Brian was your friend. One of your closest friends, really.
Your best friend?
And his message was heartfelt. He'd even sent you a heart emoji!
So, yeah, it shouldn't be that surprising that a heartfelt message with a heart emoji made you feel better.
But... still.
Whatever, you wouldn't waste too much time overthinking it.
(Right now, at least).
You had a date to go on!
"What did you say you do again?" Cole asked, looking across the table at you with the most genuine expression of confusion.
An expression that would be cute on a very small child or, say, a dog.
But not a fully grown man with whom you were on a date.
You'd been absolutely right -- the guy was dumb and boring.
And since you'd already told him twice what you did for work, you decided to have some fun. It's not like this date was ever going to go anywhere, so why not?
"Actually, I'm a government spy," you said in hushed tones, leaning forward just a bit. "But if I tell you anything more, I'd have to kill you."
Cole -- bless his heart -- answered by nodding twice, then silently zipping his lips.
"And you," you prompted. "You said you're... taking a gap year? I thought that was only for University students?"
"Oh, no, anyone can take a gap year," Cole answered. "I was working a desk job, but I realized that's not what I want to do with my life."
"Ah, so you took a year off to figure things out?"
"Yeah..." Cole replied, though he sounded anything but certain. "I just felt like I needed time to focus on my goals."
You raised your eyebrows, intrigued. You had a feeling this was going to be good -- and by good, you meant bad.
"What goals?" you asked, doing your best to sound curious.
You nodded slowly, as if you completely understood what he meant.
You didn't, of course.
"How?"
"What?"
"Bettering yourself how?" you asked with a somewhat strained smile.
"Oh, right. Just, like... in general."
You could only blink at him in response.
And, then, when he didn't say anything after a full minute, you finally squeaked out an "Oh!"
Thankfully, the server arrived with your food, and you hoped Cole would be too busy focusing on eating to continue the conversation. Or continue any conversation.
Alas.
As soon as he finished his first bite, he took a breath and asked, "So, like, what do you actually do."
Oh, here we go again.
"Didn't I just --"
"No, but what do you do as a -- y'know," he repeated.
...Are you kidding me?
He was asking you -- someone he thought was a government spy -- what you do?
Okay, it was time to see just how far you could take this.
"I train carrier pigeons for government surveillance," you deadpanned. "Among other things."
A half-smile tugged at Cole's lips, and he said, "Oh, that's sick."
My god.
You couldn't wait to tell Brian about this.
"It is," you agreed. "But enough about me. I can't say much more, anyway. Unless you have Top Secret level security clearance."
Cole's eyes widened a bit, and he shook his head. "That's a real thing?"
"Um... yes," you replied, finding that you sounded like a Preschool Teacher telling a toddler the answer to a very obvious question, but since they're a toddler, it's not obvious to them. Just to you because you're an adult.
But Cole was also an adult.
"Wow," he breathed.
"What do you do for fun?" you asked, hoping desperately he wouldn't ask about your life as a spy again.
Cole shifted around in his seat, and the look on his face morphed into one of disappointment -- yeah, he was going to ask about your life as a spy again.
"I like to hang out," he answered, lifting one shoulder in a shrug.
"...Hang out?" you prompted. "Hang out... with friends? Where? Doing what?"
"Yeah, with my friends," he confirmed with a nod. "Just doing... stuff."
You sat there for a few moments, simply staring and blinking at him.
If he hadn't already answered questions in an almost identical manner, you would ask him if he was joking.
"Sounds fun," you finally replied, though your voice sounded falsely enthusiastic even to your own ears.
But, unsurprisingly, Cole didn't notice.
You began to wonder when you could cut this date short and make your escape without being too obvious.
Would Cole even notice if you were being too obvious, though?
I think we all know that the answer is No.
So, you let yourself enjoy your meal (because free food is free food), and you basically smiled and nodded at every dumb thing he said.
Then, as soon as you finished your last bite, you set your utensils down and said, "Well, I have to be going. I can't stay out too late, I have to... be up early for a mission."
Cole's eyes widened, and his gaze followed you as you stood from your chair and grabbed your bag.
"What kind of mission?" he asked.
You paused, narrowed your eyes at him, and said in hushed tones, "I've already said too much."
"Right, of course," Cole murmured. He began to stand up, presumably to walk you out or hug you good-bye, but...
Was there even any use pretending you were going to see him again?
So, before he could do either of those -- before he could even say anything -- you looked him in the eye and said, "If you speak about this to anyone, there's no telling what may happen to you."
And then you breezed past him and marched out of the restaurant.
Honestly, the second you stepped out into the parking lot, you felt like Nicole Kidman after getting divorced.
You were free! No more bad dates!
Actually, no more dates, period!
Unless you wanted to, of course. Unless you found someone you were interested in enough to date.
Obviously.
But for now, you were free!
No more podcasts! No more psyche deep dives! No more spy missions!
Honestly, you felt like skipping through the parking lot back to your car, but you settled for smiling like a goofball.
And, as after your other two dates, you got out your phone and sent a quick text to Brian as soon as you could.
I'm done with my last date 🥴
Once you sent it, you expected to get a reply just moments later, simply because that's what had occurred previously.
So when you didn't get a message back within a few seconds, you got your keys out and got into your car.
Still no reply.
You turned the engine over and buckled your seatbelt.
Still no reply.
You decided to just drive home because, honestly, you were beat. You needed some time to rot on your couch and not stress about these dates.
And to take your mind off of everything -- the dates and your best friend not texting you back, even though he had a perfectly valid reason to reply at a later time -- you turned your music up for your drive home. Singing power ballads at the top of your lungs was the perfect medicine for anything that ailed you, really.
Did that stop you from glancing at your notifications all the way home, though? Just to see if Brian had texted you back?
Shhh... we don't have to talk about that.
Because admitting that you were watching your phone like a hawk to catch Brian's reply meant that you'd have to admit that you wanted so desperately for Brian to reply to you. And admitting that meant... something else entirely that you couldn't quite put into words. Something you didn't want to put into words.
Brian was your friend, yes. Your best friend, as we touched on earlier. Of course, it was natural for you to want him to reply to your message. The two of you had met up after your other bad dates to debrief and spend time together, so you'd assumed you would do the same after this one, but had you actually made any concrete plans to do that?
Well, kind of. You'd brought it up at Spill the Beans a couple of weeks ago.
But still. You hadn't planned on exactly where and when to meet up before your dates tonight, so it didn't really matter.
(If it didn't really matter, why were you overthinking it so much?)
(Again -- shhh... we don't have to talk about that!)
You shook your head to get rid of all of these anxieties and focused on singing along to your music.
But since your date had been at a local restaurant, it only took about ten minutes to get home -- not nearly enough time to forget about how much space Brian and his non-reply were taking up in your mind.
Because seriously, why were you thinking about Brian so much?
You huffed out a sigh as you parked your car in your garage and headed into your house, dumping your bag on your kitchen counter, kicking off your shoes, and shuffling listlessly to your couch.
And you decidedly kept your phone in your pocket because who cares if Brian texted you back or not?
You cared, but you didn't want to, so you forced yourself not to.
...But then.
Just as you reached for the remote on your coffee table, you saw the flash of headlights on your wall, signaling someone had just pulled into your driveway.
And then you heard the sound of someone opening and closing a car door.
Before you had a chance to stand up and creep over to your front door so you could peek out of the window to see who it was, your front door opened.
You wanted to strangle your heart for how high it jumped up into your throat upon seeing Brian in your doorway.
"What --" you began.
"Before I come in and get settled, do you want me to go get anything?" he asked, leaving the door ajar in case he needed to leave again. "Are you hungry? Thirsty?"
"No, I just ate," you answered quickly. "What are --"
Brian closed the door behind him, stepped out of his shoes, and made his way over to join you on the couch.
You were finally able to finish your question once he plopped down next to you.
"What are you doing here?"
He furrowed his brow, but instead of turning his head to look at you, he leaned forward to grab the remote.
"Our debrief?" he replied, holding the remote out for you.
"But you didn't text me back."
"I didn't?" he asked, the notch between his eyebrows getting deeper. And then he reached into his pocket, getting his phone out and tapping on the screen to navigate to your message thread. "Oh, shit, sorry."
He held his phone toward you, showing you that he'd typed out a reply but, apparently, hadn't actually pressed the button to send it to you.
He'd said Sorry, just got out of mine. I'll be over in a few mins.
And, sure enough, when you finally took your phone out of your own pocket, you saw he'd read your message just a minute or two before you got home.
You felt incredibly silly for worrying so much.
"How was your date?" he asked as he set his phone screen-down on your coffee table and slid it away from him.
After a brief pause, you did the same before answering him. "Well," you began with a sigh. "I told him that I'm a government spy with top secret security clearance, and he believed me."
Brian shook his head slightly, leaning closer to you. "Wait, you what?"
A grin tugged at your lips at the memory and in anticipation of telling Brian about just how dumb Cole had been.
"But that's not all," you added before launching into a synopsis of the whole conversation.
Brian, as you knew he would, reacted with nothing but shock, confusion, and disgust. Basically, everything you thought and felt as the conversation had been actually happening!
"I... I think I'm speechless," Brian said after you'd finished relaying every last word.
"What?!" you cried with a shocked chuckle. "You? Speechless?! I never thought I'd see the day."
"I know, me either," Brian replied. "I just... don't understand how someone could be that..."
Both of you said the word 'Dumb' at the exact same time.
"Same," you agreed. "But we were wrong."
"I really hate being proven wrong," he sighed.
"Me too."
You let out a sigh to match his before settling even further into the back of your couch. Then, after a beat or two of silence, you turned to look at him again. "What about yours?"
Brian glanced over at you, meeting your eyes for only a second or two before answering. "Ah, Sophie," he murmured. "It wasn't as bad as yours, but I'm definitely not admitting that you're probably going to win."
"Okay," you relented with an amused eye roll.
"She started off by asking a really deep, personal question, and when I pointed out that it was a deep, personal question, she said she 'doesn't do small talk.' Which, fine, okay. I get that."
"Wait, what was the question?" you asked.
You expected Brian to tell you immediately, but to your surprise, he hesitated.
"It was... I can't really remember exactly what it was, but it was about what I need in a relationship. Or, like, what I didn't realize I needed until I found it. Or... something."
Okay, yep, that's pretty personal.
And if this were any other person, you would let it go and allow them to move on with the story.
But... it was Brian, and he was your friend, and... there was a part of you that really, really wanted to know what he'd said.
"And?" you prompted.
Brian huffed out a quiet breath, leaning back against the couch as he ran a hand through his hair.
“I said…” he started, then paused again, as if he was trying to figure out how to word it. “I said I didn’t realize how much I needed someone to actually engage with me.”
You frowned slightly, listening.
“Like, not just listen, but… push back a little. Call me out when I’m being annoying,” he continued, a faint smile tugging at his lips. “Keep up, I guess. Make things feel… easy. Comfortable.”
Your chest did something weird at that.
You ignored it because why would your chest do something weird at that? It made no sense; therefore, you decided it wasn’t worth acknowledging.
“And was she like that?” you asked, keeping your tone light.
Brian shook his head.
“No,” he said simply. “It just felt kind of… forced. Like we were both trying to say the right thing instead of just… talking.”
You hummed in understanding, nodding slowly.
“That’s the worst,” you agreed. “At least mine was entertainingly bad.”
“Yeah,” Brian snorted. “I can’t compete with government pigeon surveillance.”
“You really can’t,” you said. “That was peak performance on my part, I’m not going to lie.”
He laughed again, softer this time, and the conversation tapered off into a comfortable silence.
And that’s when you felt it — the exhaustion you’d been holding off all evening was finally settling in for real.
Your limbs felt heavier. Your head felt fuzzier.
So, you leaned back further into the couch, letting out a slow breath. “I think I’m officially done interacting with people for the day,” you muttered.
Brian glanced over at you. “That bad?”
“That exhausting,” you corrected.
There was just a beat of silence, and then –
“Movie?” Brian suggested.
You nodded immediately. “Yes. Please. Something easy. If I have to think, I’m out.”
“Got it,” he said, already reaching for the remote.
While he clicked through the movies, you reached behind you to grab a blanket. Without thinking much about it, you spread the blanket over both of your laps — I mean, the two of you were sitting closely enough to share one, so why not? It was a big blanket. And it was purely for warmth and comfort purposes. It's not like the two of you would be cuddling or anything.
...Why did you even think that? What was going on with you tonight? First, your chest did something inexplicably weird, and now your brain was thinking about cuddling?
You adjusted the edge of the blanket, smoothing it down over your knees like that would somehow make the strange goings-on less noticeable.
Brian glanced down at your laps briefly. “You’re really committing to that, huh?” he asked, and it was then you noticed you were still fiddling with the blanket. You quickly stopped before you answered him.
“It’s cold,” you explained. “And you were within range.”
“Within range,” he repeated.
“You should feel honored,” you added, settling back into the couch. “Not everyone gets access to the deluxe blanket experience.”
“Wow,” he deadpanned. “I didn’t realize this was exclusive.”
“It is. Don’t let it go to your head.”
He huffed a quiet laugh, shifting slightly beside you — close enough that your knee brushed his under the blanket.
You didn’t move.
“Just don’t take it personally if I fall asleep,” you added after a moment. “It’s been a long day.”
“I’ll try not to be offended,” he smirked.
“You can still try to be entertaining, though,” you murmured. “Don’t hold yourself back on my account.”
“No promises.”
Thankfully, the sound of a movie starting gave you something else to focus on.
And thankfully, part two, what you saw on the television screen made you sigh with relief.
“When Harry Met Sally…,” you murmured with obvious approval. “I couldn’t have chosen better myself.”
“I know it’s not Jane Austen, but —”
“I don’t watch only Jane Austen adaptations, you know,” you scoffed.
“ I—” Brian reached underneath the blanket and poked you in the side. “Know.”
You let out a tired shriek and swatted his hand away.
“Assaulting me while I’m already weak,” you accused, your brow furrowed in consternation.
“Strategic timing,” he replied easily.
You glanced at him, narrowing your eyes just slightly to show your disapproval.
Then you shifted back against the couch, meaning to put a little space between the two of you —
But you didn’t.
Your leg was still pressed against his under the blanket, warm and unmoving.
“…If I do fall asleep, I’m blaming you for this,” you muttered.
“For what?”
“For making me feel too comfortable.”
The words slipped out before you could really think about them.
There was a beat.
Then Brian smiled, just a little.
“Yeah,” he said lightly. “That sounds like my fault. Because I’m the one who brought out the blanket, after all.”
You huffed, turning your attention back to the screen — but you still didn’t move away.
As the opening interviews and Harry Connick, Jr. song played, you really did try to pay attention to the movie.
You did, honestly.
But somewhere between the familiar dialogue and the steady warmth at your side, your focus started to slip.
Your eyes felt heavier.
Your thoughts became slower.
You shifted slightly, getting more comfortable, your shoulder brushing his — and then, somehow, it stayed there.
You barely registered it. You barely registered anything, really.
And at some point, your head tipped… and came to rest against his shoulder.
You had a very brief, very foggy moment of awareness.
I should move, you thought to yourself.
But you didn’t. You just couldn’t make yourself do it. You were too tired and too comfortable, both physically and mentally.
And Brian didn’t react, so you had to assume he didn’t mind.
And that was all you needed to allow yourself to drift asleep.
When you blinked your eyes open again, the room was dimmer than before.
The movie was still playing, but quieter than earlier — low enough that it barely filled the space of your living room.
For a second, you didn’t move.
Didn’t think.
And then—
Oh.
You were leaning against something.
Warm. Solid.
You straightened slowly, blinking as the realization settled in.
Brian.
You’d fallen asleep on Brian.
For… who knows how long?
You glanced over at him, half-expecting him to be asleep too, but he was already looking at you.
“Hey,” he said quietly.
“Hi,” you mumbled, your voice still thick with sleep. “Sorry — did I—”
You gestured vaguely toward his shoulder.
“You fell asleep,” he said simply.
You shifted, and that’s when you noticed —
The blanket had been pulled up higher around you. The volume on the TV had been turned down.
He’d… adjusted things to make you more comfortable, to allow you to sleep. The movie was already almost over, and he hadn’t woken you up with his commentary or questions.
You swallowed, suddenly a little more awake.
“I didn’t mean to,” you said.
“It’s fine,” Brian replied easily. “You warned me.”
You let out a soft huff of a laugh, rubbing a hand over your face.
“What did I miss?” you asked as you glanced back at the screen, even though you knew full well you had missed basically the whole movie.
“Pretty much all of it,” he chuckled. “You were out before they even made it to New York.”
“Rude,” you muttered.
“Eh, you’ve seen it before,” he pointed out, lifting one shoulder into a half-shrug.
“Still,” you said, though there was no real bite to it.
A small quiet settled between you.
But, somehow, it was a different kind of silence than before.
It was somehow… softer.
You shifted again, then, sitting up a little straighter now.
“I should probably —” you started, though you had no idea where you were going with this thought.
“Yeah,” Brian said, already leaning forward slightly. “I should head out.”
There was the faintest flicker of something in your chest at that.
And, just as you had earlier in the evening, you ignored it. Because it was, indeed, late, and that thing in your chest was slowly morphing into an unfamiliar yearning for him to stay the night.
So, you stood up and walked him to the door, arms loosely folded as you leaned against the doorframe.
You glanced at him then — but immediately paused.
Because he was already looking at you. Not like he was waiting for you to finish talking, and not like he was about to make a joke, but just… looking.
You held his gaze for a second too long before something in your chest flipped, sudden and unfamiliar.
Maybe you had to go to the doctor to get some sort of screening because, seriously, what was going on underneath your sternum tonight?!
“Thanks for staying,” you found yourself blurting out.
Brian’s expression shifted just slightly, as if he hadn’t been expecting you to say that – and, let’s be real, you felt the same way.
“Yeah,” he replied, his voice softer than normal. “Of course.”
And you knew immediately that if you lingered any longer, things would get entirely too awkward for comfort. So, you took a step back and began to close the door, prompting Brian to bid his final goodbye before turning toward your driveway.
After he left, you stood there for a moment, staring at your closed front door.
Then, almost as if you were on autopilot, you turned and walked back toward your couch.
The movie credits were rolling quietly on the screen, soft music filling the room in a way that felt almost… intrusive, now that everything else was so still and the room was empty save for yourself.
The blanket was exactly where you’d left it.
Where he’d left it.
You didn’t think too hard about that as you sat down, pulling it back over your lap without much thought, tucking it around yourself like you hadn’t just been sharing it with your best friend only minutes ago.
The couch was still warm, but that was normal.
Or was it? Honestly, you weren’t really sure about anything at the moment.
You leaned back, staring at the TV without really seeing it, your mind catching up in slow, uneven pieces..
The movie.
Falling asleep.
Waking up on his shoulder.
The way he’d already been looking at you.
The way he’d turned the volume down.
The way he hadn’t made it weird.
The way he’d just… stayed.
Your fingers tightened slightly in the blanket, the feel of the soft, plush fabric somehow helping to ground you in reality.
That was…
You exhaled slowly, your thoughts finally starting to form into something coherent—
But then they immediately stalled out.
Because whatever word was sitting there didn’t feel like something you could just… think and move on from.
It felt heavier than that.
So instead —
“…Nice,” you said out loud, the word quiet but definite in the otherwise empty room.
You blinked, like you hadn’t expected to hear it.
Too nice.
Your mouth pressed into a thin line as you stared at the TV, your reflection faint in the darkened screen.
A very familiar sense of dread settled over you as you pulled into a parking space at one of the more up-and-coming restaurants in town -- one you hadn't yet been to but had heard good things about from multiple sources.
But that's not the point.
The point is that a very familiar sense of dread settled over you just before you walked into your third, and final, Bad Date. A sense of dread you were used to feeling before a date, but a normal date. Not a Bad Date that you were only going on to try and win a bet.
Before your other two dates -- Podcast Guy and Deep Dive Psyche Guy -- you hadn't felt this dread at all. You'd been nervous, but only because you'd really wanted them to go so terribly. You hadn't had any qualms or reservations about going on the actual date itself.
But now, it seems, you did.
You stopped your car, turned off the engine, let out a sigh, and leaned over to rest your forehead on your steering wheel.
You didn't want to do this.
Even though you could tell that Date #3 -- Cole -- was going to be probably the most harmless so far (he just seemed... dumb and boring, to be brutally honest), you still didn't want to do this.
Even though you were most likely going to get a free meal, you didn't want to do this.
Even though it was also likely you would get another free meal from winning the bet... you didn't want to do this!
You were just emotionally exhausted. Mentally exhausted. And the combination of the two was making you feel as if you were physically exhausted.
To put it simply: you wanted to just go home right now, change into your pajamas, flop on the couch, and watch one of your comfort television shows.
Actually... the sound of that was almost too good to turn down. Without even unbuckling your seatbelt, you grabbed your phone and opened your dating app, fully intending to message Cole that you had to cancel last-minute.
But before you could, a text message came through.
From Brian.
Good luck! ❤️
...Okay, why did that actually make you feel better? Why did that give you enough emotional, mental, and physical energy to get out of your car and go into the restaurant?
I mean, yes, Brian was your friend. One of your closest friends, really.
Your best friend?
And his message was heartfelt. He'd even sent you a heart emoji!
So, yeah, it shouldn't be that surprising that a heartfelt message with a heart emoji made you feel better.
But... still.
Whatever, you wouldn't waste too much time overthinking it.
(Right now, at least).
You had a date to go on!
"What did you say you do again?" Cole asked, looking across the table at you with the most genuine expression of confusion.
An expression that would be cute on a very small child or, say, a dog.
But not a fully grown man with whom you were on a date.
You'd been absolutely right -- the guy was dumb and boring.
And since you'd already told him twice what you did for work, you decided to have some fun. It's not like this date was ever going to go anywhere, so why not?
"Actually, I'm a government spy," you said in hushed tones, leaning forward just a bit. "But if I tell you anything more, I'd have to kill you."
Cole -- bless his heart -- answered by nodding twice, then silently zipping his lips.
"And you," you prompted. "You said you're... taking a gap year? I thought that was only for University students?"
"Oh, no, anyone can take a gap year," Cole answered. "I was working a desk job, but I realized that's not what I want to do with my life."
"Ah, so you took a year off to figure things out?"
"Yeah..." Cole replied, though he sounded anything but certain. "I just felt like I needed time to focus on my goals."
You raised your eyebrows, intrigued. You had a feeling this was going to be good -- and by good, you meant bad.
"What goals?" you asked, doing your best to sound curious.
You nodded slowly, as if you completely understood what he meant.
You didn't, of course.
"How?"
"What?"
"Bettering yourself how?" you asked with a somewhat strained smile.
"Oh, right. Just, like... in general."
You could only blink at him in response.
And, then, when he didn't say anything after a full minute, you finally squeaked out an "Oh!"
Thankfully, the server arrived with your food, and you hoped Cole would be too busy focusing on eating to continue the conversation. Or continue any conversation.
Alas.
As soon as he finished his first bite, he took a breath and asked, "So, like, what do you actually do."
Oh, here we go again.
"Didn't I just --"
"No, but what do you do as a -- y'know," he repeated.
...Are you kidding me?
He was asking you -- someone he thought was a government spy -- what you do?
Okay, it was time to see just how far you could take this.
"I train carrier pigeons for government surveillance," you deadpanned. "Among other things."
A half-smile tugged at Cole's lips, and he said, "Oh, that's sick."
My god.
You couldn't wait to tell Brian about this.
"It is," you agreed. "But enough about me. I can't say much more, anyway. Unless you have Top Secret level security clearance."
Cole's eyes widened a bit, and he shook his head. "That's a real thing?"
"Um... yes," you replied, finding that you sounded like a Preschool Teacher telling a toddler the answer to a very obvious question, but since they're a toddler, it's not obvious to them. Just to you because you're an adult.
But Cole was also an adult.
"Wow," he breathed.
"What do you do for fun?" you asked, hoping desperately he wouldn't ask about your life as a spy again.
Cole shifted around in his seat, and the look on his face morphed into one of disappointment -- yeah, he was going to ask about your life as a spy again.
"I like to hang out," he answered, lifting one shoulder in a shrug.
"...Hang out?" you prompted. "Hang out... with friends? Where? Doing what?"
"Yeah, with my friends," he confirmed with a nod. "Just doing... stuff."
You sat there for a few moments, simply staring and blinking at him.
If he hadn't already answered questions in an almost identical manner, you would ask him if he was joking.
"Sounds fun," you finally replied, though your voice sounded falsely enthusiastic even to your own ears.
But, unsurprisingly, Cole didn't notice.
You began to wonder when you could cut this date short and make your escape without being too obvious.
Would Cole even notice if you were being too obvious, though?
I think we all know that the answer is No.
So, you let yourself enjoy your meal (because free food is free food), and you basically smiled and nodded at every dumb thing he said.
Then, as soon as you finished your last bite, you set your utensils down and said, "Well, I have to be going. I can't stay out too late, I have to... be up early for a mission."
Cole's eyes widened, and his gaze followed you as you stood from your chair and grabbed your bag.
"What kind of mission?" he asked.
You paused, narrowed your eyes at him, and said in hushed tones, "I've already said too much."
"Right, of course," Cole murmured. He began to stand up, presumably to walk you out or hug you good-bye, but...
Was there even any use pretending you were going to see him again?
So, before he could do either of those -- before he could even say anything -- you looked him in the eye and said, "If you speak about this to anyone, there's no telling what may happen to you."
And then you breezed past him and marched out of the restaurant.
Honestly, the second you stepped out into the parking lot, you felt like Nicole Kidman after getting divorced.
You were free! No more bad dates!
Actually, no more dates, period!
Unless you wanted to, of course. Unless you found someone you were interested in enough to date.
Obviously.
But for now, you were free!
No more podcasts! No more psyche deep dives! No more spy missions!
Honestly, you felt like skipping through the parking lot back to your car, but you settled for smiling like a goofball.
And, as after your other two dates, you got out your phone and sent a quick text to Brian as soon as you could.
I'm done with my last date 🥴
Once you sent it, you expected to get a reply just moments later, simply because that's what had occurred previously.
So when you didn't get a message back within a few seconds, you got your keys out and got into your car.
Still no reply.
You turned the engine over and buckled your seatbelt.
Still no reply.
You decided to just drive home because, honestly, you were beat. You needed some time to rot on your couch and not stress about these dates.
And to take your mind off of everything -- the dates and your best friend not texting you back, even though he had a perfectly valid reason to reply at a later time -- you turned your music up for your drive home. Singing power ballads at the top of your lungs was the perfect medicine for anything that ailed you, really.
Did that stop you from glancing at your notifications all the way home, though? Just to see if Brian had texted you back?
Shhh... we don't have to talk about that.
Because admitting that you were watching your phone like a hawk to catch Brian's reply meant that you'd have to admit that you wanted so desperately for Brian to reply to you. And admitting that meant... something else entirely that you couldn't quite put into words. Something you didn't want to put into words.
Brian was your friend, yes. Your best friend, as we touched on earlier. Of course, it was natural for you to want him to reply to your message. The two of you had met up after your other bad dates to debrief and spend time together, so you'd assumed you would do the same after this one, but had you actually made any concrete plans to do that?
Well, kind of. You'd brought it up at Spill the Beans a couple of weeks ago.
But still. You hadn't planned on exactly where and when to meet up before your dates tonight, so it didn't really matter.
(If it didn't really matter, why were you overthinking it so much?)
(Again -- shhh... we don't have to talk about that!)
You shook your head to get rid of all of these anxieties and focused on singing along to your music.
But since your date had been at a local restaurant, it only took about ten minutes to get home -- not nearly enough time to forget about how much space Brian and his non-reply were taking up in your mind.
Because seriously, why were you thinking about Brian so much?
You huffed out a sigh as you parked your car in your garage and headed into your house, dumping your bag on your kitchen counter, kicking off your shoes, and shuffling listlessly to your couch.
And you decidedly kept your phone in your pocket because who cares if Brian texted you back or not?
You cared, but you didn't want to, so you forced yourself not to.
...But then.
Just as you reached for the remote on your coffee table, you saw the flash of headlights on your wall, signaling someone had just pulled into your driveway.
And then you heard the sound of someone opening and closing a car door.
Before you had a chance to stand up and creep over to your front door so you could peek out of the window to see who it was, your front door opened.
You wanted to strangle your heart for how high it jumped up into your throat upon seeing Brian in your doorway.
"What --" you began.
"Before I come in and get settled, do you want me to go get anything?" he asked, leaving the door ajar in case he needed to leave again. "Are you hungry? Thirsty?"
"No, I just ate," you answered quickly. "What are --"
Brian closed the door behind him, stepped out of his shoes, and made his way over to join you on the couch.
You were finally able to finish your question once he plopped down next to you.
"What are you doing here?"
He furrowed his brow, but instead of turning his head to look at you, he leaned forward to grab the remote.
"Our debrief?" he replied, holding the remote out for you.
"But you didn't text me back."
"I didn't?" he asked, the notch between his eyebrows getting deeper. And then he reached into his pocket, getting his phone out and tapping on the screen to navigate to your message thread. "Oh, shit, sorry."
He held his phone toward you, showing you that he'd typed out a reply but, apparently, hadn't actually pressed the button to send it to you.
He'd said Sorry, just got out of mine. I'll be over in a few mins.
And, sure enough, when you finally took your phone out of your own pocket, you saw he'd read your message just a minute or two before you got home.
You felt incredibly silly for worrying so much.
"How was your date?" he asked as he set his phone screen-down on your coffee table and slid it away from him.
After a brief pause, you did the same before answering him. "Well," you began with a sigh. "I told him that I'm a government spy with top secret security clearance, and he believed me."
Brian shook his head slightly, leaning closer to you. "Wait, you what?"
A grin tugged at your lips at the memory and in anticipation of telling Brian about just how dumb Cole had been.
"But that's not all," you added before launching into a synopsis of the whole conversation.
Brian, as you knew he would, reacted with nothing but shock, confusion, and disgust. Basically, everything you thought and felt as the conversation had been actually happening!
"I... I think I'm speechless," Brian said after you'd finished relaying every last word.
"What?!" you cried with a shocked chuckle. "You? Speechless?! I never thought I'd see the day."
"I know, me either," Brian replied. "I just... don't understand how someone could be that..."
Both of you said the word 'Dumb' at the exact same time.
"Same," you agreed. "But we were wrong."
"I really hate being proven wrong," he sighed.
"Me too."
You let out a sigh to match his before settling even further into the back of your couch. Then, after a beat or two of silence, you turned to look at him again. "What about yours?"
Brian glanced over at you, meeting your eyes for only a second or two before answering. "Ah, Sophie," he murmured. "It wasn't as bad as yours, but I'm definitely not admitting that you're probably going to win."
"Okay," you relented with an amused eye roll.
"She started off by asking a really deep, personal question, and when I pointed out that it was a deep, personal question, she said she 'doesn't do small talk.' Which, fine, okay. I get that."
"Wait, what was the question?" you asked.
You expected Brian to tell you immediately, but to your surprise, he hesitated.
"It was... I can't really remember exactly what it was, but it was about what I need in a relationship. Or, like, what I didn't realize I needed until I found it. Or... something."
Okay, yep, that's pretty personal.
And if this were any other person, you would let it go and allow them to move on with the story.
But... it was Brian, and he was your friend, and... there was a part of you that really, really wanted to know what he'd said.
"And?" you prompted.
Brian huffed out a quiet breath, leaning back against the couch as he ran a hand through his hair.
“I said…” he started, then paused again, as if he was trying to figure out how to word it. “I said I didn’t realize how much I needed someone to actually engage with me.”
You frowned slightly, listening.
“Like, not just listen, but… push back a little. Call me out when I’m being annoying,” he continued, a faint smile tugging at his lips. “Keep up, I guess. Make things feel… easy. Comfortable.”
Your chest did something weird at that.
You ignored it because why would your chest do something weird at that? It made no sense; therefore, you decided it wasn’t worth acknowledging.
“And was she like that?” you asked, keeping your tone light.
Brian shook his head.
“No,” he said simply. “It just felt kind of… forced. Like we were both trying to say the right thing instead of just… talking.”
You hummed in understanding, nodding slowly.
“That’s the worst,” you agreed. “At least mine was entertainingly bad.”
“Yeah,” Brian snorted. “I can’t compete with government pigeon surveillance.”
“You really can’t,” you said. “That was peak performance on my part, I’m not going to lie.”
He laughed again, softer this time, and the conversation tapered off into a comfortable silence.
And that’s when you felt it — the exhaustion you’d been holding off all evening was finally settling in for real.
Your limbs felt heavier. Your head felt fuzzier.
So, you leaned back further into the couch, letting out a slow breath. “I think I’m officially done interacting with people for the day,” you muttered.
Brian glanced over at you. “That bad?”
“That exhausting,” you corrected.
There was just a beat of silence, and then –
“Movie?” Brian suggested.
You nodded immediately. “Yes. Please. Something easy. If I have to think, I’m out.”
“Got it,” he said, already reaching for the remote.
While he clicked through the movies, you reached behind you to grab a blanket. Without thinking much about it, you spread the blanket over both of your laps — I mean, the two of you were sitting closely enough to share one, so why not? It was a big blanket. And it was purely for warmth and comfort purposes. It's not like the two of you would be cuddling or anything.
...Why did you even think that? What was going on with you tonight? First, your chest did something inexplicably weird, and now your brain was thinking about cuddling?
You adjusted the edge of the blanket, smoothing it down over your knees like that would somehow make the strange goings-on less noticeable.
Brian glanced down at your laps briefly. “You’re really committing to that, huh?” he asked, and it was then you noticed you were still fiddling with the blanket. You quickly stopped before you answered him.
“It’s cold,” you explained. “And you were within range.”
“Within range,” he repeated.
“You should feel honored,” you added, settling back into the couch. “Not everyone gets access to the deluxe blanket experience.”
“Wow,” he deadpanned. “I didn’t realize this was exclusive.”
“It is. Don’t let it go to your head.”
He huffed a quiet laugh, shifting slightly beside you — close enough that your knee brushed his under the blanket.
You didn’t move.
“Just don’t take it personally if I fall asleep,” you added after a moment. “It’s been a long day.”
“I’ll try not to be offended,” he smirked.
“You can still try to be entertaining, though,” you murmured. “Don’t hold yourself back on my account.”
“No promises.”
Thankfully, the sound of a movie starting gave you something else to focus on.
And thankfully, part two, what you saw on the television screen made you sigh with relief.
“When Harry Met Sally…,” you murmured with obvious approval. “I couldn’t have chosen better myself.”
“I know it’s not Jane Austen, but —”
“I don’t watch only Jane Austen adaptations, you know,” you scoffed.
“ I—” Brian reached underneath the blanket and poked you in the side. “Know.”
You let out a tired shriek and swatted his hand away.
“Assaulting me while I’m already weak,” you accused, your brow furrowed in consternation.
“Strategic timing,” he replied easily.
You glanced at him, narrowing your eyes just slightly to show your disapproval.
Then you shifted back against the couch, meaning to put a little space between the two of you —
But you didn’t.
Your leg was still pressed against his under the blanket, warm and unmoving.
“…If I do fall asleep, I’m blaming you for this,” you muttered.
“For what?”
“For making me feel too comfortable.”
The words slipped out before you could really think about them.
There was a beat.
Then Brian smiled, just a little.
“Yeah,” he said lightly. “That sounds like my fault. Because I’m the one who brought out the blanket, after all.”
You huffed, turning your attention back to the screen — but you still didn’t move away.
As the opening interviews and Harry Connick, Jr. song played, you really did try to pay attention to the movie.
You did, honestly.
But somewhere between the familiar dialogue and the steady warmth at your side, your focus started to slip.
Your eyes felt heavier.
Your thoughts became slower.
You shifted slightly, getting more comfortable, your shoulder brushing his — and then, somehow, it stayed there.
You barely registered it. You barely registered anything, really.
And at some point, your head tipped… and came to rest against his shoulder.
You had a very brief, very foggy moment of awareness.
I should move, you thought to yourself.
But you didn’t. You just couldn’t make yourself do it. You were too tired and too comfortable, both physically and mentally.
And Brian didn’t react, so you had to assume he didn’t mind.
And that was all you needed to allow yourself to drift asleep.
When you blinked your eyes open again, the room was dimmer than before.
The movie was still playing, but quieter than earlier — low enough that it barely filled the space of your living room.
For a second, you didn’t move.
Didn’t think.
And then—
Oh.
You were leaning against something.
Warm. Solid.
You straightened slowly, blinking as the realization settled in.
Brian.
You’d fallen asleep on Brian.
For… who knows how long?
You glanced over at him, half-expecting him to be asleep too, but he was already looking at you.
“Hey,” he said quietly.
“Hi,” you mumbled, your voice still thick with sleep. “Sorry — did I—”
You gestured vaguely toward his shoulder.
“You fell asleep,” he said simply.
You shifted, and that’s when you noticed —
The blanket had been pulled up higher around you. The volume on the TV had been turned down.
He’d… adjusted things to make you more comfortable, to allow you to sleep. The movie was already almost over, and he hadn’t woken you up with his commentary or questions.
You swallowed, suddenly a little more awake.
“I didn’t mean to,” you said.
“It’s fine,” Brian replied easily. “You warned me.”
You let out a soft huff of a laugh, rubbing a hand over your face.
“What did I miss?” you asked as you glanced back at the screen, even though you knew full well you had missed basically the whole movie.
“Pretty much all of it,” he chuckled. “You were out before they even made it to New York.”
“Rude,” you muttered.
“Eh, you’ve seen it before,” he pointed out, lifting one shoulder into a half-shrug.
“Still,” you said, though there was no real bite to it.
A small quiet settled between you.
But, somehow, it was a different kind of silence than before.
It was somehow… softer.
You shifted again, then, sitting up a little straighter now.
“I should probably —” you started, though you had no idea where you were going with this thought.
“Yeah,” Brian said, already leaning forward slightly. “I should head out.”
There was the faintest flicker of something in your chest at that.
And, just as you had earlier in the evening, you ignored it. Because it was, indeed, late, and that thing in your chest was slowly morphing into an unfamiliar yearning for him to stay the night.
So, you stood up and walked him to the door, arms loosely folded as you leaned against the doorframe.
You glanced at him then — but immediately paused.
Because he was already looking at you. Not like he was waiting for you to finish talking, and not like he was about to make a joke, but just… looking.
You held his gaze for a second too long before something in your chest flipped, sudden and unfamiliar.
Maybe you had to go to the doctor to get some sort of screening because, seriously, what was going on underneath your sternum tonight?!
“Thanks for staying,” you found yourself blurting out.
Brian’s expression shifted just slightly, as if he hadn’t been expecting you to say that – and, let’s be real, you felt the same way.
“Yeah,” he replied, his voice softer than normal. “Of course.”
And you knew immediately that if you lingered any longer, things would get entirely too awkward for comfort. So, you took a step back and began to close the door, prompting Brian to bid his final goodbye before turning toward your driveway.
After he left, you stood there for a moment, staring at your closed front door.
Then, almost as if you were on autopilot, you turned and walked back toward your couch.
The movie credits were rolling quietly on the screen, soft music filling the room in a way that felt almost… intrusive, now that everything else was so still and the room was empty save for yourself.
The blanket was exactly where you’d left it.
Where he’d left it.
You didn’t think too hard about that as you sat down, pulling it back over your lap without much thought, tucking it around yourself like you hadn’t just been sharing it with your best friend only minutes ago.
The couch was still warm, but that was normal.
Or was it? Honestly, you weren’t really sure about anything at the moment.
You leaned back, staring at the TV without really seeing it, your mind catching up in slow, uneven pieces..
The movie.
Falling asleep.
Waking up on his shoulder.
The way he’d already been looking at you.
The way he’d turned the volume down.
The way he hadn’t made it weird.
The way he’d just… stayed.
Your fingers tightened slightly in the blanket, the feel of the soft, plush fabric somehow helping to ground you in reality.
That was…
You exhaled slowly, your thoughts finally starting to form into something coherent—
But then they immediately stalled out.
Because whatever word was sitting there didn’t feel like something you could just… think and move on from.
It felt heavier than that.
So instead —
“…Nice,” you said out loud, the word quiet but definite in the otherwise empty room.
You blinked, like you hadn’t expected to hear it.
Too nice.
Your mouth pressed into a thin line as you stared at the TV, your reflection faint in the darkened screen.