Art 22

An in depth daily report of the Yale Summer School of Art at Norfolk

[norfolk2014]

Does a paintbursh still make marks, if no one is around to see it?

Hmmmmm very interesting question indeed. Things are awfully quite in Norfolk. Art 22 ponders life's great question while things sit stagnant in Norfolk

[norfolk2014]

Today brought with it the appointment of Norfolk's newest hall monitor, Early Messer. Early, a Norfolk summer time resident for 13 or like 14 years was ecstatic to begin her first day back on the force. In the next few weeks she looks to clean up Norfolk's act while also fixing the leaky celling.

[norfolk2014]

Turns out Laura Mar does like orange soda.

[norfolk2014]

Art 22 just got an exclusive look at the upcoming film Paint, Tears, Love: The Norfolk story. Paramount is set to release the film in early 2020. We exchanged emails with the films Director Micheal Bay. Bay, who has directed such hits like; The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning, and Transformers 27 says this project will be unlike anything he has ever done before. "This project is unlike anything I've ever done before" says bay "I'm really excited to begin adding the special effects". We also got a sneak peak at the first promo poster for the movie so there's that too.

[norfolk2014]

After much deliberation over the past 2 weeks, a decision has been reached to announce Calvin Kim as Sass Master of the week. His remarkable usage of contemporary dance matched with a sincere thirst to party are among the many ways Calvin has proven himself to be the sassiest mother fucker at Norfolk this week. Nominations for next week's sass master can be dropped off at studio 20.

[norfolk2014]

Isaac Howell Named Unpaid Intern for Art 22

  More staff adjustments took place in the offices of Art 22 as new senior editor Tom Wixo, appointed Isaac Howell as Art 22's new Unpaid Intern. The position had no other applicants and wasn't even that big of an accomplishment for Howell. Wixo said in a staff meeting just after the appointment that he felt that Howell had no real skill set and would fit perfectly with the rest of the talentless staff of writers he has assembled. Laura Mar, former Sr. Editor made comments undermining both Howell's ability and Wixo's motivation for hiring Howell. "They both just laugh too much, and I think that's gross," Mar said casually to the rest of the staff. 

[norfolk2014]

Photo of Laura Mar after loosing her title.

[norfolk2014]

Laura Mar Demoted!

Breaking news, Laura Mar the former senior editor and cofounder of Art 22 has been demoted tonight after a heated game of ping pong with Tom Wixo. Wixo has been pulling his weight as junior editor since Art 22 began and says he was feeling “creatively crushed” by Mar’s pressuring deadlines and lack of respect around the office. After a heated argument in the Art Barn, the two had a screaming match and settled the debate over a game of ping pong. Mar, as always, underestimated Wixo and ended up getting crushed in the match leaving Wixo as senior editor. In an on the scene interview Wixo told reporters that he would do everything the same and not move Art 22 in any exciting directions. “I mean, I basically did this to be mean and add a line to the resume” Wixo told reporters. Mar is still deviated and we can smell a rematch coming on the horizon.

[norfolk2014]

BREAKING NEWS: Art 22 is Sorta Kinda Famous Because of an Almost Out of the Ordinary Event

That thing happened, that happens to only most people in their internet lives, when Sr. Art 22 Reporter logged in today. "Guys we're really doing it," said Mar sarcastically to Jr. Reporter Tom Wixo. Quickly after the average event today, Sr. Reporter logged off and deleted every form of social network in an attempt to "find excitement in actual exciting things."

[norfolk2014]

Stand Up For Slouching

Youthful artists begin  discovering the ability to properly slouch. Norfolk students have learned this habit from fellow classmate Laura Mar who is a self proclaimed Champion Sloucher. "Yeah, I've been slouching competatively for about the past 3 years, but growing up I always slouched. For people like me slouching is a lifestyle more than an activity," Mar said to Art 22 reporters. Slouching has became such a trend that Mar lead a workshop at Norfolk last night for her classmates properly teaching them how to slouch for long periods of time. "It was so eye opening, I never realized how comfortable I could be while also looking like I don't care about anything," Alex Jackson stated in regards to participation in the workshop. The workshop focused on entry level upper body movements that students could use to start slouching, but a later workshops will expand on many details of slouching in a more competitive setting. Art 22 will be sure to keep posting about the development of all three Slouchers, Rosa Congdon, Alex Jackson, and Isaac Howell .

[norfolk2014]

Enemies of the Heir beware. The Chamber of Secrets has been opened. In a shocking turn of events it appears a great danger looms over Norfolk. This morning it was discovered that the printshop's beloved mascot Little Bird was petrified.  During what was a routine screen printing demo he was found suspended upside down in a lifeless state. A funeral is in the works. 

It appears to be a similar case to the famous Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry incident of 1996. The chamber of secrets was supposedly created under the dungeons of Hogwarts during the Medieval times by Salazar Slytherin who disagreed with the Hogwarts founders on the merits of blood purity. The chamber was home to an ancient Basilisk which, according to legend was intended to be used to purge the area of the Muggle-born students.

Art 22 advises Norfolk residents to proceed with caution and carry a mirror at all times. We will have more as this story unfolds.

[norfolk2014]

Cooper Union Buys a Ping Pong Championship

After the dust has began to settle during the first week at Norfolk, the truth is coming out about the pasts of many of the students here. The most shocking news comes from two mysterious men from Cooper Union. Stephen Gurtowski and Dan Young have both been posing as visual artists for the past week but it turns out they are actually world class ping pong champions. One undisclosed source claimed that he had seen the two play in Japan three years ago at the World Tournament of Champions Ping Pong King Winners. Another student has made more radical claims, "THEY DON"T EVEN GO TO COOPER UNION! Tom Wixo screamed in an interview with no knowledge of the subject. Using these sources, Art 22 has gathered that former students from Cooper Union who had participated in the Yale Norfolk Summer School have been bitter for years over lost games of ping pong and paid these two aces to bring the glory of Norfolk Ping Pong champs back to Cooper Union. 

In other news, we have learned to color correct photos in our photography class so you can expect high class photos from now on. 

[norfolk2014]

Exclusive Interview: Adelaide Ruff

Today Art 22 Junior Editor sat down with one of the brightest young artists working today, Adelaide Ruff. After a rigorous interview, Ruff told all about her work, the world, and why she’s got it all figured out. 

Art 22: Carrots or Tomatos? 

Adelaide Ruff: Carrots, both raw and cooked. 

22: What size shoe do you have? 

AR: 6.5 

22: Describe the best floor you’ve ever walked on. 

AR: The ocean floor, Atlantic. 

22: Do you canoe? 

AR: Yeah…

22: What is your preferred thread count? 

AR: 1000

22: Do you ever nap in jeans?

AR: ABSOLUTELY not

22: What TV stars are you currently looking at? 

AR: Pikachu, Honestly I can’t remember,  Louise from Bob’s Burgers. 

22: Was your first kiss as bad as mine? 

AR: No it was quite nice, on a doorstep, with my first boyfriend, a total ginger. 

22: What’s 380/72? 

AR: Oh Fuck You. 

22: Does my shirt look ok? 

AR: It would look better was off. 

22: Have you ever eaten grass? 

AR: Yes, lots  of times, lot’s of different types too. 

22: Who was your first Celeb Crush? 

AR: Mary Poppins, I loved her, I thought she was the most amazing women. 

22: What was the last math class you completed? 

AR: Precalculus 

[norfolk2014]

GRASS! What the Heck is With This Stuff???!!

Breaking news: Norfolk, CT is COVERED in small green blades of organic material. Scientists believe this mysterious substance may be carbon based. Specialists have been exposing this "grass" to heavy amounts of sunshine and have been dousing it with fresh water from the near by pond in an attempt to vanquish this "grass". So far all efforts to stun the growth of this green menace have been in vain. 

"Grass" isn't just effecting our environment, but it is also compromising our morals as well. Anti-Grass Conservatives have been protesting since the 18th of May. "GRASS IS NOT IN THAT BOOK THAT WE READ," says Anti-Grass Conservative (who's name has been omitted for privacy reasons).

This "grass" seems to be popular with troublesome teenagers and bees. 

Some liberal members of the community have been countering some AGCs with radical statements like, "Grass is necessary to the environment" and "Wait really, you guys care about grass this much?"   

"Grass" seems to be popular with the neighborhood dogs, but at what cost??? 

-Art Twenty 22 Sr. Reporter 

(also Rocks am I right?)

[norfolk2014]

This just in Yet another possible death in Norfolk this afternoon. While teaching his favorite photo students Mr. Andrew stopped to investigate a strange cabin which seemed to had made it's way on to the estate. After snapping a few pictures he vanished with out a trace. 

Student Joshua Christensen managed to get a few shots right as the event unfolded. 

[norfolk2014]

Student Dies After Sort Ping Pong Match 

Unconfirmed sources have reported the death of current Norfolk student Tom Wixo this morning, claiming he died after a short noncompetitive ping pong match with fellow student Josh Christensen. "We weren't even working very hard, I think Tom was just in really bad shape. In a way its more pathetic than sad" Josh casually explained. This death comes as quite a shock to both students and faculty alike, but it seems like most of them had gotten over it by lunch time. One student spoke out about how good it was that his death came so early in the program, "Having Tom die early gave the other students something to bond over" Andrew Wagner stated in an exclusive interview with Art 22. After quick consideration the faculty has decided to leave his body in his studio to avoid dealing with the burial.