dallas is being normal

[normal-about-hollanov]

in regards to the USA hockey leagues policy update effectively barring all transgender athletes from playing hockey at any level I hope heated rivalry doubles the fuck down n every background hockey player in season two is trans. fuck the leagues queer ppl deserve to be in sports.

[raincitygirl76]

Hear hear! From your keyboard to Jacob’s ear.

And sources for that:

Amid ‘Heated Rivalry’ Craze, USA Hockey Quietly Bans Trans Athletes

The organization did not announce that it passed the ban in November.

MSN

[normal-about-hollanov]

bringing this back around to include a petition for anyone willing to sign. this started off kinda light hearted but really this is so important. to clarify this is not an nhl policy. this is regarding any usa league down to the recreational ones played in shitty hometown rinks. this is a USA policy that would ban Trans players from leagues that are strictly for fun. don't let them get away with this bullshit. make your voice heard.

Sign the Petition

Refuse to adopt USA hockey's ban on transgender athletes

[normal-about-hollanov]

so one of my favorite things in games is when a ref or linesman accidentally gets caught up in play n they have to go jumping away from the puck right. I am also of the belief that it is Ilya's favorite thing too. except he's on the ice. you see where I'm going with this. I think ilya regularly hunts down his most hated refs n sends that puck ALL up in their space just to make them jump.

[normal-about-hollanov]

in my mind the rookies all love shane but they kinda have that relationship that like they love him so so bad n like that guy does not give affff. they'll come up to him n be like hollzy my gf broke up with me ☹️ n he'll go 'crazy. hey why are your laces tied that that put your fucking boot up here.' they're pouting for him to shoot them pucks during praccy to the point be has a small pile of pucks he's not even paying attention to as he stands around talking to a teammate meanwhile the rookies are happily fetching his passes and chasing them like puppies. they're begging him to show them HIS drills n HIS stick tapes n HIS lace ties meanwhile ilya- who has always been Team Big Brother n has never NOT had a brood of rookies- is like HEY NOW ☹️ (its chill they still very much love him. but they love shane in the way all kids are infatuated with bothering someone who is indifferent to them)

[normal-about-hollanov]

sometimes you really do hit the rink for 5 hrs just to get somehow worse. n then you just gotta walk that off.

[normal-about-hollanov]

yall ever seen that one pic of macklin celebrini from the sharks in like pee wees looking locked tf in for literally no reason. like all the kids around him cheesing hard as hell n he's hitting the nastiest pose for nothingggg. anyways thats what I imagine all of shanes childhood hockey league photos looked like. that man NEVER played.

wait I found it look at this boy is that not Shane core

[normal-about-hollanov]

its so so important to me that at times Ilya's Boston™️ resurfaces. I mean that man spent like nearly a formative decade in that city. instead of erasing the asshole Slavic nature it doubled that shit n turned him into the ultimate rage baiter. being russian has nothing to do with that fact that he'll bring up your parents divorce, your girlfriend leaving you, AND fucking your dad all in one sentence- thats pure Boston baby. plus sometimes he slips up n pronounces car keys like khakis. n thats just as important.❤️

[normal-about-hollanov]

yeah yeah Shane's lingerie is a backwards baseball cap tiny shorts n knee socks but #myilyas lingerie is slutty chain just peaking out of a button up that has like one button done and the smallest black boxers known to man

[normal-about-hollanov]

a small selection of the hockey chain phenomenon for your discretion n perusal

[glovesdown]

Hockey Asks!

How/when did you get into hockey?

Are you a fan of any other sports?

Do/did you or anyone close to you play hockey?

Has hockey inspired you to try any new activities (e.g. learning to skate)?

If you’re a fan for a team in a city you don’t live in, how did you pick them? If you’re a fan of your local team, do you follow any non-local teams?

Do you go to games? If so, what’s your favorite part of seeing them in-person?

Are you a fan of any fictional hockey media, or just the real thing?

Do you collect merchandise or memorabilia (cards, pucks, jerseys etc)?

What is a moment from a game you’ll always remember watching live?

Do you watch games alone or with others (irl or virtual)?

If you had to add a color to your team’s color scheme, what would it be?

What’s the weirdest place you’ve watched a game?

Have you ever met any players, either by chance or at team signing–type events?

Have you gotten anyone else into hockey?

If you had to commentate a game, would you rather do play-by-play or color?

If you could change, add, or remove a rule from the game, what would it be?

Have you started using any hockey slang in other contexts?

Do you sacrifice sleep to watch games at late/early hours?

Do you have a favorite ultra-specific hockey stat?

What is your favorite jersey from a team you're not a fan of?

Should [insert league here] expand? If so, where do you want the next team?

What is your most hockey player–esque habit irl?

What is one overused question you wish you could make beat reporters stop asking?

Would you rather work for your team's social media (pitch/produce content) or general management (have a say in trades/drafting)?

What is your favorite thing about watching hockey?

[normal-about-hollanov]

yeah yeah Shane's lingerie is a backwards baseball cap tiny shorts n knee socks but #myilyas lingerie is slutty chain just peaking out of a button up that has like one button done and the smallest black boxers known to man

[plumeriyaaa]

When Harry Ilya Met Sally Shane

[grabmyboner]

at the cottage shane comes up to Ilya so much with some sort of bug or critter in his closed fist that ilya is constantly on alert when shane comes near him with a closed hand. he’s like “shane what do you have do you have a bug get away from me shane shane!!!” and shane is laughing and coming closer holding his closed hand out like “babe its fine just look.” and ilya is like “shane i am so fucking serious right now.” and shane is trying not to double over in laughter because he literally has nothing in his hand.

[bugslibraryy]

@hardlyhinged sweetheart tags

[normal-about-hollanov]

my heated rivalry text posts bc had had too much free time and they rot my brain

alternative shane bc he looked so cute pie here

[normal-about-hollanov]

short list of edits i think exist in universe

- thirst trap of various clips ppl have posted of ilya during his club era to THE BADDEST

- compilation of ilya doing the Slavic Stare and shane doing that slightly eerie wide eyed thing tracking eachbother on ice to I'll be watching you

- hollanov edit to you do not have to be good by Mary Oliver (shane stumbles on this one and has a minor meltdown about it)

- ilya thirst trap to Светлана which he likes from his main account and then immediately sends to Svetlana

- thirst trap of ride for hollanov which ilya finds and sends to shane with 😏 (shane does in fact ride him later)

- thirst trap of shane to smooth operater

- clip of shane giving an interview after to his move to the cens where the interview asks if he has any opinions on the Metros where- in a fit of post game fuck the pr adrenaline- he rolls his eyes, leans in, and goes 'who?' that smash cuts into lockjaw

- the 'no liar told you that' interview wink smash cut to super freaky girl

- pre outing there's a black and white hollanov edit to do i wanna know that floats the rpf socials of hollanov's hands brushing after interviews, cuts between them eye fucking across the room at awards shows, and moments of play where they psychically align spliced between headlines about their supposed rivalry, them glaring at each other on ice, and headlines about Ilya's sexcapades and rose (niether of them stumble on this one and thats a goddamn stroke of luck bc pre outing it would have given shane a heart attack)

- thirst trap of ilya to diet mountain dew specifically from his rookie year

- one of those repeating style thirst traps of shane to million dollar baby cut with clips of him being bitchy

- thirst trap of hollanov with their voices overlapping the 'american' part with either 'russian' or 'canadian'

- one of those animated style edits for hollanov to guy.exe

[normal-about-hollanov]

more in universe edits i think exist

- can't go broke specifically the 'you really good at everything but head i dont want your throat matter fact I want your friend I'm allowed to switch' that switches between ilya n shane obviously

- pre outing edit on rpf socials of that one audio thats like 'if I betray you I betray myself yada yada my country is very dear to me. dearer then I? no not dearer then you' and its another edit thank god they never stumble on bc it would have made shane crash out

- captian save a hoe edit to shane when he was captian with the metros that transitions to captian ilya with the cens

- thats life edit of hollanov with the bears, metros, all stars, Olympics to the part of the song thats like I've been a pauper a poet yada yada you know the words

- shitty like 10 second edit of shaky footage of shane in tiny shorts and tall socks clearly caught on like pap footage in a hotel to Knee Socks (ilya stumbles on this one and almost blacks out)

- one of those f1 style edits to Bella ciao of hollanov playing against each other

- THIRST TRAP OF SHANE BEONG BITCHY TO MANEATER. THIS ONE IS VERY IMPORTANT TO ME.

- thirst trap of ilya wearing the tightest shirts known to man to my humps by the black eyed peas

- pre outing thirst trap style edit to in the closest by Michael Jackson

- edit of Marley and Ilya being Horny Hockey Bros to RICHMAN

- shayden edit of i see red to a clip of shane drawing a roughing penalty after another player high sticks Hayden to the face and breaks his nose (ilya finds this one n comments 'so we are just doing anything now huh. I would get mad if someone kicked my lap dog too. does not mean anything.' shane makes him delete it)

[normal-about-hollanov]

ilya has a nightmare one night. wakes up heart hammering vague memories of pill bottles and cold bathroom floors breaking a sweat across clammy skin. he detangles himself from Shane's arms, stumbles out to the deck, somewhere dark and quiet he can claw the sob strangling in his chest without disturbing his husband. he's outside less than two minutes before shane startles him, calling gently into the night from the doorway. when ilya turns his breath catches in his throat. shane rubs at his eyes, drowning in his sleep shirt, one sock half off, hair sticking every direction and he looks so young.

he looks like ilya's shane.

the one freckled and awkward who shook his hand twice outside a shitty juniors rink where he shouldn't have been smoking. and ilya can't help but think it again-

mama I wish you had met him. you would have loved him. like I love him.

[normal-about-hollanov]

shane has a rule that the only way ilya can talk him out of his morning run or some likewise exercise is by matching the level of cardio he'd be getting otherwise. not only does the apple watch stay on during sex- he's consulting the records after 🧐

[normal-about-hollanov]

important to note to the fandom that though I do stand in solidarity with my childless hollanov ilya DOES canonically think of three things with shane during the almost plane crash- retirement, dogs, and kids. now this does not mean they WILL have kids. no, no, no. instead this opens an even juicer pipeline for my childless hollanov truthers: SHANE does not want kids.

[anzekopistar]

another normal day for the caps lb crew