Tried to slit my wrists for thanksgiving but my cheap big lots razors wouldn’t break apart. Can I sue?
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@noshecantcomplain
Tried to slit my wrists for thanksgiving but my cheap big lots razors wouldn’t break apart. Can I sue?
Hey tumblr. It’s been 8 years. My life still sucks. It was good for a bit, but now it’s back to shit.
The Gold- Manchester Orchestra
Anniversary weekend in Seattle.
DANNY DEVITO HUGGED BERNIE SANDERS. AND IM CRYING…. NEED! ME! A! FREAK! LIKE! THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
look at how tight they r holding eachother………………………………. they really in love
cishet white guys will make fun of you for liking ke$ha then turn around and play the beatles
jim lemon wishes he had the range to sing praying
when you and your friend say the same witty comment in reply to someone else simultaniously
le ancien razzle dazzle
little lush hideaway
please hurry up and overthrow capitalism so that i don’t have to fill out any more job applications where i have to retype the contents of my resume into an application form after i already attached my resume
business email glossary
thanks in advance: get this done by the time i press “send”
thanks for your interest: why’d you have to bring this up
would you be so kind: fucking do it
best: i have never physically met you
all best: this conversation is over
all my best: i wish you would die
happy to help: this is the easiest thing in my inbox
i hope this helps: i’ve done all i’m willing to do
i did a bit of research: i googled it, because you’re too lazy to
sorry to chase: answer my email
so sorry to chase: answer my FUCKING email
i am really sorry for being a pest but: i am LIVID that you are ignoring me
please contact my colleague: this isn’t my problem
i’m copying in my colleague: this isn’t my problem and i am thrilled about it
i’ll check and get back to you: i might forget to
i’ll let you know when i hear anything: i will forget to
can you check back with me in a week?: i’m hoping you will forget to
per our earlier conversation: i just yelled at you on the phone
great to chat just now: you just yelled at me on the phone
thanks!: i’m not mad at you
thanks!!: please don’t be mad at me
thanks!!!: i’m crying at my desk
please advise: this might be your fault
kindly advise: this is entirely your fault
mind if i swing by?: i’m already in the elevator
can you confirm for me: you told me before and i deleted the email
sorry if that was unclear: i think you’re an idiot
let me know if you need anything else: please never contact me again
Reblogging to add a direct quote that I used today -
Please respect my work process: just do it the way I told you to and stop arguing with me, I don’t care what you think
damn this tea scalded me
mind opening post that should be in everyone’s dashboard
My dog is so fucking cute.
food spinoffs based on “we fucked up making the regular ones” masterpost