im not real

mainly a safe space for me to rant and yap, tw: heavy topics, self h. // abt me: 26y.o loser trying to cope. bilingual. she/her pronouns

[communist-hatsunemiku]

Szs0k

[a-titty-ninja]

[nostalgicghostzzz]

i dont even know who i am

[nostalgicghostzzz]

i dont think i will ever get over it.

i think i will just keep finding distractions until one day i cant get distracted anymore

[nostalgicghostzzz]

i feel like my antidepressants arent working anymore

[sakuu]

(Xユーザーのぶちゃぱてぃさん: 「とりぷる留年 #とりぷるばか　#HatsuneMikuArt #初音ミク #亞北ネル #重音テト https://t.co/85na5BlZSJ」 / Xから)

[nostalgicghostzzz]

he was the only person that ever bothered. no one ever bothered. he asked, he worried, he looked for me.

now no one does and one will. im not asking for anyone to do it because i know i dont deserve it

[nostalgicghostzzz]

my mom would cry if she saw how messed up her child turned out. she would go crazy if she knew im not making any progress.

at least im useful for now

[nostalgicghostzzz]

maybe i am a mean person after all. maybe i cant change. i have never ever felt normal for a day in my life, thats for sure.

[nostalgicghostzzz]

[nostalgicghostzzz]

i was so mean to him. it makes me sick to remember it

[nostalgicghostzzz]

[nostalgicghostzzz]

[nostalgicghostzzz]

i will keep clinging to this body for a while

[nostalgicghostzzz]

his eyes. he was so full of love. did i make it all go away?

[nostalgicghostzzz]

wish i could sleep forever

[nostalgicghostzzz]

i wonder if he ever thinks abt me. he probably already slept with someone else. i just know it. i was never enough. i was gross and cruel.