artificial nocturne

[impeccabletasteinmusic]

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BROODS | Bridges

[remidimarzo-blog]

There are days I wish I was an only child, dealing with feeling lonely is far better compared to what I have to deal with. Don’t get me wrong, I adore my brother but there are times when he’s a complete asshole for no reason. Like today, I asked a simple question and he goes off on me. The whole idea that just because I’m a female means I can’t do something is completely bullshit.

[nostalgicliar]

I believe this is where I should intervene and give a long, over-bearing speech about men and women equality, but I also believe that would take too much effort.

Instead, I'll simply advise you not to take your brother for granted. He may be an asshole, but it's better than living alone. I'm an only child, and, I assure you, I often find myself wanting differently.

[xodelicatepetal-deactivated2014]

I told someone today that I’m from Boston and they looked at me like I was crazy. Like what is a Boston girl doing living in New York? I just had to smile and continue on with my snapping, gonna take some time to get used to being here that’s for sure. 

[nostalgicliar]

Get out while you still can.

Boston, hm? What possessed you to come to NYC, exactly?

[ndobreva]

[jamezdornan]

[nostalgicliar]

I'm somewhat of a perfectionist, I think, and I strive for perfection.

[nostalgicliar]

// L I V I N G D E A D // [Daphne and Alexander]

[daphnegarner]

She wasn’t even positive why the fuck she was even there. Why the hell she had decided to meet up with him when she clearly didn’t mean anything to him, when she’d clearly been pushed aside so easily, when she’d clearly been a total and complete idiot.

Walking into the bar, the bar she knew so well, the bar she’d been avoiding because she kept seeing him around every corner. Nodding hi to a few of her girls at the tables, her boys at the bar, and the security men that she had in her back pocket, she made her way over to the tall brunette looking miserable as he sipped his drink.

"Well. I’m here. What did you want? I’m a busy woman, Alexander." Her voice was harsh and brusque, none of the softness that he was so used to. This was her favorite mask, the one that hid any sense of emotions. No hurt, heartbreak, or sadness was clear on her face. It was just a blank slate of anything.

Her hair was perfect, her legs sheathed in brand new leather boots, a form-fitting,  yet still classy, purple dress clung to her every curve.

Hey, who ever said the brokenhearted had to look bad? She never wanted him to know how much of a wreck she was without him. She didn’t need him, she reminded herself, she had everything she ever wanted.

Besides Alex.

[nostalgicliar]

His face practically lit up when she came into his view. He debated whether or not to compliment her, but immediately decided it wouldn't get him anywhere. Disappointment flashed over his face when he didn't receive the reaction he'd been hoping for. Her blank expression dismissed all of his hope and replaced it with guilt.

It became increasingly difficult for Alex to think that she'd somehow managed to be happier without him. For a moment, he felt as if he were the one being insulted, rather than the girl standing in front of him.

For once, he actually felt intimidated by her. He dug his hands deep into his pockets to resist the urge to grab hers. Hearing her speak pushed him into reality rather easily. She had a reason to be upset with him. Leading her in the wrong direction for weeks had damaged her beyond repair. He'd felt nothing but remorse for the past week and a half. She clearly hadn't deserved it.

A lump formed in his throat as he tried to speak, and Alex was surprised at how spontaneously weak his voice sounded.. "I...I wanted to apologize." He spoke cautiously, afraid he might have said something he would regret later. "I understand if you don't want to be..." he paused, trying to decide what relationship they had once had. For a moment, he merely stared at the ground as he tried to process his thoughts correctly. It took him an embarrassing amount of time, but he was rather stuck on one thought in particular:

She hadn't missed him.

[nostalgicliar]

// L I V I N G D E A D // [Daphne and Alexander]

Eventually, she would realize the mistake she had made. Eventually, she would come to the realization that Alex wasn't the person he made himself out to be. But that moment never came, to Alex's surprise. It was like living in a dream; she'd shown interest in him, without hesitation.

The feelings that rushed over him came without warning. He was unprepared. Pushing her away seemed to be a logical way out.

He wanted her to forget him. Part of him wished it would be difficult for her. Alex was trying so desperately to convince himself that it was for the best, and that he would somehow manage to get over her. But it was never that simple.

To somehow fix their broken relationship, he had attempted to arrange a meeting. Alex nervously drowned the drink in his hand, guessing he would need more than one to pull through the traumatic night. The bar had been where they'd spontaneously first met. He hoped it could somehow did up old memories, possibly helping him realize how much he'd been missing.

As much as he wanted her to come crawling back to him, he knew perfectly well that he deserved otherwise. He'd tossed her to the side as if she were nothing; it was unforgivable.

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The Enemy | Andrew Belle

I hold a banner for you But it’s upside down

[tomharly-blog]

[sydney-mcconnell-deactivated201]

Your parents should consider themselves lucky to have had a boy. My Ma used ta tell me every .5 seconds, I was a handful and a half ta try and deal with.  They might not have seen it, but your parents got lucky, trust.

Well, I’ll put extra special glitter on there, just for ye.  You’ll be the envy of everyone in the neighborhood.

[nostalgicliar]

I understand you're trying to cheer me up, but...They will never consider themselves lucky; I'm an absolute mess.

At least someone's acknowledged my greatness.

[hawtornes]

[sydney-mcconnell-deactivated201]

Damn - and here I was thinkin’ the act was convincin’.  The jig is up.

There was a lot of guilt by association in our house, a brother doin’ somethin’ and when Ma came to yell at them, they’d point and say “Syd did it.”.  

You know what? You do deserve a crown - pink construction paper with glitter and little sequins glued to it.  Yes, that’ll do just fine.

[nostalgicliar]

My parents had always wanted a girl, and painted my nursery pink shortly before I was born. They were disappointed, sure, but my parents could hardly take care of themselves, let alone me. So, I'm sorry I can't exactly relate.

But that hardly seems fair.

I'd take it, you know. Glitter and all.

[initial-difficulties]

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[sydney-mcconnell-deactivated201]

Me? a troublemaker? Of course not!

Minor skirmishes, nothin’ terribly serious at least.   It’s less about strangers willin’ to give out the candy and more about who’s willin’ to take it from them.  I applaud you for bein’ brave enough.

[nostalgicliar]

You're not fooling anyone.

Nothing worth sharing? I doubt that.

Thank you, I think I deserve a crown.

[sydney-mcconnell-deactivated201]

It was….somethin’, that’s for sure.  It was never really a fight for attention, I don’t think.  If one of my brothers was gettin’ the attention, it was typically for the wrong reasons, so I’ll pass on that.

And I was bein’ a smartass.  Of course ye can have some.  It’s only a two dollar pack of candy, not a big deal.

[nostalgicliar]

Don't leave me curious. How about you? Were you...a troublemaker?

You'd be surprised; not everyone's willing to share candy with strangers.

[sydney-mcconnell-deactivated201]

Only child? Sounds very…..quiet.  With four older brothers, that sounds like paradise to 12-year-old me.

I would - because I am a kind soul and you asked nicely.  Hell, because I’m still feelin’ the residual Christmas spirit, I’ll even let ye have a few of the Doritos, too.  Don’t say I never gave ye anythin’.

[nostalgicliar]

Your childhood had to be...interesting. Was it difficult to maintain your parents' attention with four other siblings?

I wasn't complaining; it was definitely generous of you.

[sydney-mcconnell-deactivated201]

Maybe.  I was the youngest, never really had to share - but I guess I could make an exception.  You can have all of the brown M&Ms.

[nostalgicliar]

I was an only child.

You'll sacrifice all the brown M&Ms? How flattering.