Keep The Poopy In

Hello! Walli here, to make some jokes. I also have @net-nerd for reblogs.

[not-exactly-teamiplier]

Kathryn: Lord, give me patience.

Ethan: I think you mean strength?

Kathryn: If God gave me strength, you’d be dead.

[not-exactly-teamiplier]

Mark: I’ve done a lot of dumb stuff.

Kathryn: I recorded the dumb stuff.

Amy: I’ve witnessed the dumb stuff.

Ethan: I joined you in the dumb stuff.

Tyler: And I tried to stop you from doing the dumb stuff.

[not-exactly-teamiplier]

Mark: I’m friendly, I’m loyal, I’m energetic, I... I just described a dog, didn’t I?

Amy: Well, yeah, but people love dogs.

[not-exactly-teamiplier]

Mark: DON’T BE SORRY! YOU’RE NOTHING BUT AN ANGEL! YOU TRIED TO HELP US, WHICH IS A SWEET MOVE!

Kathryn: You’re yelling nice things at me again and it’s very confusing!

[sleepygiggles21]

Mark: What the hell were you thinking?!

Ethan: Releasing birds at a wedding is romantic

Amy: YOU RELEASED OSTRICHES!!!!!

[not-exactly-teamiplier]

Bim: Wilford made me call people and tell them he was dead, to see how they'd react.

[Flashback]

Wilford: Is she crying? Is she crying?

Bim: A little.

Wilford: [takes the phone] You should be wailing, you stone-cold bitch!

Wilford: [gives the phone back] Now call my other Grandma.

[not-exactly-teamiplier]

Ethan: I may be small, but I'm small and knowing.

Tyler: You're not knowing what the top shelf looks like.

Ethan: [pulls out gun]

[not-exactly-teamiplier]

Tyler: One bonus of being an adult is grossly misusing modern slang on purpose and watching the younger team members cry inside.

Tyler: A fine example, the other day I pointed at a passing shark and, while looking Ethan right in the eye, went "Man is that bae or what, huh?" and the look on his face was something I will treasure for years.

[not-exactly-teamiplier]

What Scares You The Most?

Kathryn: Werewolves!

Mark: Sharks.

Tyler: The unstoppable marching of time that is slowly guiding us all towards an inevitable death.

Ethan: Tyler.

[not-exactly-teamiplier]

93 degrees and thunderstorm, what the fuck I'm supposed to wear? A thong and rainboots? The fuck??

Wilford?

[not-exactly-teamiplier]

Ethan: [texting Amy] You've heard of Murphy's Law, right?

Amy: [responding] Yes... why?

Ethan: It states that anything that can go wrong will go wrong, but have you heard of Cole's Law?

Amy: No...?

Ethan: It's thinly-sliced cabbage.

Amy: ...Did you just wake me up to tell me a joke about coleslaw?

[not-exactly-teamiplier]

Kathryn: Why do men propose on one knee instead of both?

Mark: Being on one knee provides me the balance needed to give her an uppercut if she says 'No'.

[not-exactly-teamiplier]

Dark, holding a dismembered corpse and a noose: WHAT DO YOU MEAN THIS ISN’T HOW YOU PLAY HANGMAN!?

[not-exactly-teamiplier]

Ethan: I let my dog drink the bathtub water while I was in it.

Priest: Once again- kind of weird, but not a sin.

[not-exactly-teamiplier]

[the morning after drinking]

Ethan: I told you I was good to drive!

Tyler: Dumbass, I drove. You sat in the passenger seat and steered with a paper plate.

[not-exactly-teamiplier]

I hate going to the kitchen and finding out I’m the only snack in this house.

Kathryn, hopefully

[not-exactly-teamiplier]

Ethan: Siri, call dad.

Siri: Calling Daddy.

Ethan: Wait, no-

Tyler: Hello?