the person you don't know

I exist (annoyingly)... the void accepts you, it will get better you cannot stop it :)

[not-him-someone-else]

Ancient painter: so for the painting of eve being tempted by the serpent what should the forbidden fruit look like?

Guy who hates apples: I have an suggestion!

[ominous-signs]

london

[not-him-someone-else]

Instructions unclear it has awoken

[tt-squid]

i think they should fight to the death

[not-him-someone-else]

You fool that is the caption and their loyal soldiers

[punkitt-is-here]

quirky fourth wall breaking character but theyre just fucking. wrong about the medium theyre in. they keep making references to cinematic techniques and directorial styles and the other fourth wall breaking character is like "dumbass we're in a fucking comic book" and they are in a video game.

[totally-cis-offical]

Well currently they’re in a tumblr post but I see your point

[not-him-someone-else]

That's because the narrator is also wrong about the medium

[pukicho]

Just saw a fish get his head torn asunder by a massive cleaver. Hope he’s okay.

[superhero-justice]

He is not.

[pukicho]

I'm tryin to remain optimistic

[not-him-someone-else]

And I'm ok so optimism wins!

[slygirlboy]

me as a necromancer, raising a skeleton thrall: you will become my amazing digital servant

[jame7t]

it’s not even digital

[not-him-someone-else]

^forgot about being thrown into the matrix

[writing-prompt-s]

Every month there’s a section in the wizard magazine listing the new “unsportsmanlike” spells that have been created. They’re not technically forbidden, just emphatically discouraged.

[not-him-someone-else]

Destroy football.

the sports men no like that one

[fuckmaster-unlimited]

your humorous post has delighted me. i will now absorb it into my dark crystal

[not-him-someone-else]

Op is older than 5 confirmed

[writing-prompt-s]

Wait, are you telling me you know the Destroyer of Kingdoms? The evil being we've spent years fighting? "Do I know him? That jerk owes me money."

[not-him-someone-else]

"In fact they did all this just to get away from me."

Why would leveling villages, burning citys and daming all mankind to years of war help them get away from you?

"I won't go after them because I refuse to make the world a better place."

...

"So do you think you could get my $5 or..."

[pukicho]

Four words: don’t go to bed without a big fucking jug of water because what if you wake up thirsty

[not-him-someone-else]

Me: Thank you four words you always have the best advice

[oneheadtoanother]

[oneheadtoanother]

It says you're winning the argument and they want to pivot away from the subject. BLOOD IN THE WATER 🩸🩸🩸 you know what to do 🦈

[eternal-fractal]

I tell my friend this for the same reason, but as like. A good thing. Also when he thinks of a really good plan that'll work in our dnd campaign.

[not-him-someone-else]

I am also told I would be a good lawyer.

Also funny little thing.

first time I was told this the guy also suggested i go to clown college.

[one-time-i-dreamt]

I worked for a restaurant that sold human flesh, I decided I had to make sure it became unusable in a way that wouldn’t get me in trouble.

[datasoong47]

Okay, but that's just wasteful. It's not like that's gonna bring the people back to life. Least you could do is get some use out of the meat!

[one-time-i-dreamt]

[not-him-someone-else]

Interesting argument...

Im gonna search you fridge real quick

hope you don't mind

[killxbunnyyy]

Aaaaaaaaand You're banished from my realm

[not-him-someone-else]

Oh co-!

[tt-squid]

car broke down

[tt-squid]

fuck my life

[not-him-someone-else]

Congrats and your new move!

[c3po]

is 5 too young for the dark crystal? i don’t want to scare my sister but i want to show her

[effemimaniac]

I forgot that was the name of a film when I read this and thought you were desperate to show your 5 y/o sister some sort of cursed artifact

[not-him-someone-else]

Is five too young to introduce my sister to the irresistible draw of crystallized evil?

Or should I stick with the cursed artifacts for now?

[the-big-mood]

[not-him-someone-else]

*un curses your serpent* take that God

[not-him-someone-else]

About your girlfriend...

No no the ritual was a success! She's back!

But... well she came back wrong.

No no she's still the same person you know.

But she is physically incapable of making correct statements.

Look i know that sounds bad but look at the bright side.

she now has a very stable career as a gate guard!