Time Waster.

Teresa. 20. Mexican. Pretentious. Can be found staring at the ceiling.

[fredersen]

all english teachers are either chaotic good or lawful evil

[goaliemagics]

me: stutters out fifteen sentence fragments that no-one can make sense of not even me me: you know?

[kasindrarules-deactivated201812]

that one friend who knows you better than you: yeah

[acapelladitty]

[pazdelahuertafanclub2005-deacti]

men: i love offensive jokes, if you get offended you are a politically correct pussy

women: hehe small pee pee

men:

[pazdelahuertafanclub2005-deacti]

men: make me a sandwich

women:

women: i want a boyfriend with a big dick

men:

[pazdelahuertafanclub2005-deacti]

me: *makes this post*

this little dum dum:

[tacomel420]

me as a store owner

[cosmokramers-deactivated2018091]

[fuks]

[pavelow]

This isn’t even satire anymore

[7sghost]

this is, without a doubt, the funniest headline and photo combo i’ve ever seen

[huffylemon]

[neilnevins-deactivated20240617]

the internet has collectively made a meme out of every frame of Spongebob but they still have yet to hone in on the image that conveys the feeling of being in your 20s

[meterapix]

SO ENGLISH ISN’T MY MOM’S FIRST LANGUAGE AND TODAY THERE WAS A SLUG ON THE STEPS AND

[846782364278]

[glumshoe]

Another shoutout to the demons and monsters that lived under your bed/in your closet and actually obeyed all the arbitrary rules you invented to keep yourself safe, like “if light is touching me at all I can’t be harmed” or “if I’m stepping on carpet I am untouchable” or “if I move my hand in a particular pattern while I walk, I’m off-limits during my voyage through the dark house to the bathroom”.

That was really considerate of them, especially given how biased in your favor those rules were.

[lesbian-moon-gf]

children create their own magic

[featheredschist]

And it is powerful magic

[theultimatechoice]

[hotboyproblems]

[skzhhssh-deactivated20190330]

can you believe female hysteria was considered like an actual medical thing… god

[skzhhssh-deactivated20190330]

mary louise moneybags in 1880: im horny all the time and also sad and i feel dissatisfied with my shitty life i dont want kids i hate my dad and my husband

dr mis o’geny: i diagnose you with WOMAN

[island-delver-go]

LMAO