âI still care about you.â ( from fiona. )
       TWO LESS MOUTHS TO FEED. That should have been the silver lining they clung on to, but Lip was having a hard time swallowing down the hatred he felt towards his sister. Once upon a time, Fiona had done her best. ONCE UPON A TIME. He was stuck living between stages one and two of grief, along with a lot of four. Denial. Anger. DEPRESSION. Anger was always the most notable with him, which is why his hand was wrapped, fingers splayed apart each sporting a splint from where heâd fractured his knuckles. Destruction was the default, especially when he couldnât find the words. Anger and tears mangled and held together by brute force.Â
       Liam was fucking dead because of her. Fucking dead because of her fucking COCAINE. Because she couldnât be a FUCKING ADULT. Acceptance still hadnât come, so it seemed like the five stages of grief were just as fucked up as the Gallaghers. The shiner hardly took away from the bags under his eyes. Carl, Debbie, and Ian were all dealing differently, but it was him that was there pulling them together. Trying, at least. Ian had fucked off two days ago, after the FUNERAL Fiona didnât get to attend.Â
        As much as he loved his sister deep down, he didnât think he could forgive her for this. Even looking at her through the thick glass, phone limp in his hand, uncaring she was sobbing and could hardly breathe. Did she care about Liam too? She had taken on responsibility. And maybe he should have cut her more credit, for all the shit sheâd been through, for the life sheâd given up for them, for doing whatever it took. But right now? All he could focus on was the fact that Liam wasnât attached at his hip, no longer getting shuffled from class to class, with the help of Amanda watching him when he had a lecture, or a shift. He didnât have to drop out now, to take care of things, but he also didnât understand how he could go back to school. Not with Debbie and Carl, though they were excuses now. Lip could go back and balance, but he couldnât.Â
      He wasnât going to fuck up like she did. Frank had made it all about him, and of course Monica came out of the woodwork, which only exacerbated things. Which only had him seething with rage, spit flying out of his mouth as the words laced with hatred bombarded anyone who so much as said the wrong thing. SO HE IGNORED HER. âYâever seen a casket for a kid before?â He hadnât slept last night, not knowing he had to come here to see her. Hell, he hadnât really slept since he watched it sink into the ground, goodbye to Liam forever. Heâd been at his fucking side when he died. Heâd been the one holding his fucking hand. He felt him go. The lack of sleep had his his anger at bay, he was almost emotionless; at least to the naked eye. Anyone who hadnât spent years with him.Â
           It was brewing under the surface, ready to snap at the drop of a pin. Heâd screamed at Fiona, cursed her out, properly illustrated what a horrible fucking person she was, but today? Today he didnât have it in him.
      Lipâs eyes were glossy, unmoving from Fionaâs as she clung onto the phone for dear fucking life. âI hadnât. Hadnât ever wanted to.â And now because of it? Debbie and Carl were going to get he helicopter parent bullshit because they werenât coping so well and with the Gallagher genes? Didnât need either of them flying off the fucking walls. âIans gone now. Donât know where. He just left, isnât picking up his phone either.â Which was completely Fionaâs fault in his eyes. Everything was now. She single handedly disrupted the balance in which they had been hanging in. Precariously at best, but they were making it. âHope heâs not dead too.â And if he was, itâd be Fionaâs fault as well.Â
       âThis is the last time Iâm cominâ here. I canât look at you anymore. And cominâ here? Itâs too much money. The funeral FOR LIAM was over four grand.â Four grand they didnât have, which Fiona knew, but it wasnât even about the money anymore. âDonât worry, I took care of it. Iâll take care of them too.â Unlike you. And that was all she got before the phone heâd been limply holding was slammed down on the receiver hanging off the wall. Wordlessly, Lip rose, not giving her a second glance before walking away for the final time as the tears finally spilled. At least for now. Until he sorted it out. Until he caught his breath, which would be never because every fucking time he closed his eyes, all he saw was Liam laying in the hospital bed before the steady beeping turned to a flat line and the world fell off itâs fucking axis.Â
