𝔤𝔯𝔶𝔣𝔣𝔦𝔫𝔡𝔬𝔯 𝔥𝔢𝔞𝔯𝔱.

ɪɴᴛᴇʀᴍᴇᴅɪᴀᴛᴇ & ᴀᴅᴠᴀɴᴄᴇᴅ. ʜɪɢʜʟʏ sᴇʟᴇᴄᴛɪᴠᴇ ᴍᴜʟᴛɪsʜɪᴘ & ᴍᴜʟᴛɪᴠᴇʀsᴇ. ᴀɴɢsᴛ ʜᴇᴀᴠʏ.

[wickedlymeme]

“I wish it could always be like this.”

“You’re always there for me.”

“The stars are the only thing that makes sense.”

“There’s more out there, you just have to be patient.”

“It doesn’t all have to be existential dread.” 

“You’re so much different when we’re alone.”

“I like it when the worlds quiet.” 

“There’s a place for us somewhere.”

“They’ll name constellations after you one day.”

“Your hearts beating so fast.”

“They don’t know what they want.”

“You don’t know what you want.”

“That’s what they’re supposed to say.”

“We really don’t know what we’re doing.”

“I miss the old you.”

“Nostalgias a trap.”

“Aliens are out there.”

“Did you hear that?”

“I really want pizza right now, think it’s open?” 

“What time is it?”

“But why would they abduct cows?”

“We’ll all be dead soon enough anyways.” 

“I wish we didn’t have to sleep.”

“What do you believe in?”

“What happens after we die?”

“Seems like a silly thing to say, don’t you think?” 

“And what’s your excuse?”

“You’ll get it together soon.”

“Sometimes I feel like I’ll never have it together.”

“It’d be better if people weren’t so afraid of their feelings.”

“You keep quiet and we both lose.”

“I wish I could save this forever.”

“When did you realize you were in love with me?”

“The rooms spinning.”

“I loved you long before you knew.”

“I’m not afraid of death, I think it’ll be peaceful.”

“The Universe is too big for that.”

“Do you think we’ve met in other lives?” 

“I’d come back to haunt you.” 

“Would you come back to haunt me?”

“What’s alternate universe you doing right now?”

“Tell me a secret.”

“Why haven’t you told anyone?” 

“I wish we knew each other sooner.”

“You’re a game changer.” 

“I’m a game changer.”

“Don’t ignore fate.” 

“Ignorance isn’t bliss.”

“What, is that a conspiracy theory?”

“It’s probably the Illuminati anyways.” 

[thebrightestwltch]

“I’ll kick this. Promise.”

Whether or not her jacket had masked the instinctive breath that jolted her system, automatic disbelief. She didn't want to be so pessimistic, but if Hermione had learned anything growing up with Ron, it was that willpower wasn't his strong suit when he was battling his demons. This was no different. The sad part is, none of them knew the true cause of the addictions. Even as she stood there, eyes locked onto him, tears welling with a feigned nod -- hope, he needed it. She did too, but why did it hurt so much? If you expected nothing, you couldn't be disappointed, but that still didn't stop them.

"Maybe you should stay with me. I know the boys get a bit rowdy... I work days but I'll be around. I can help you, you just..." Can't lie, can't go behind her back and sneak off into the bathroom to fix a hit, or sneak off whilst she's at work, only to come back to him half dead on her couch, thrice over. Every time he came around, she went down. Women were taught to bare the weight because women were so much stronger emotionally. Women had taken years of rejection, nos, being stepped on, their resilience was bred into them but... Whatever strength Ron had at one point or another had slinked off into the darkness...

And yet again, she knew if she didn't interfere, he'd be doing it permanently. Never before had he looked so hardly there. The last time he'd stayed it had ended in screaming and him storming out and falling into another bender, but at the end he'd gotten clean... For a few weeks. If only they could go to an island, take away all the measures and she could sit with him as he detoxed. Society offered salacious portals at every turn, often encouraging... No one saw the real demons.

The tears rapidly spilled from Hermione's eyes, bypassing her cheeks entirely and falling directly into her hair -- onto her coat. "You have to try... I don't want to lose you, I don't want to see you gone." There was no stability in her words, but fuck, she would do anything to try and keep him tethered to this realm with her. The loss of Harry hit them both, but the mystery of the Red Room wasn't ever going to be solved if they both went.

enjoy hill house pain.

[thebrightestwltch]

‘  i’d like to stay like this for awhile

"Me too." A moment more wouldn't hurt, although Hermione knew more than most how much time she could lose within the RealmVerse. Losing Steve hadn't left her, not for years. The publicly grieving widow was the prime target to plug her in, siphon her thoughts, control every bit and more, but the relief she felt being back in his arms, even if only coded in the digital, it was an illusion she could believe, and even though she knew it to be an illusion, the amount of pain, isolation, and grief she'd been facing for years on her own? Constantly being the fixer, unable to fix herself. Steve had started, piece by piece. A hero with no idea how deep his heroics truly went. How long had so much of him been lost within her? A tragedy with no true ties of how deep it went.

It's not as if they were siphoning every thought, every bit of intimacy and knowledge to ever cross her brain. It's not as if they replayed her past to know the precise combination of what would keep her trapped within their illusionary matrix. It's not as if the billion dollar cooperation was harbouring their own agenda. It's not as if the realism in which they could harness the Universe in which she existed in was because they were the ones responsible for Steve's 'death'. Nor was it like they had him hooked up in the basement, underlock and keys, every bit of arsenel they had to keep him contained, lips zipped, silent and rotting for when they needed their own super soldier, coded entirely from every weakness they could harvest from the girl within his arms in that moment.

Nothing felt sinister when you were ignorant enough to believe in the good of the world when the bad guys were in charge. "Would it be bad if I just never left?" They knew the answer, she knew it, already ready to roll off his lips, as if they'd already been stuck in this loop for ages. And maybe they had.

But Hermione's alarms no longer chimed to warn her of her time, batteries spent years ago, rotting and withering within the illusion, no wiser she'd already been plucked into their clutches and siphoned into source. Who would save them when there was nothing left to save?

[thebrightestwltch]

"Do you regret us ever being a thing?"

Don't cry. Don't cry. Don't cry. The incredulous laugh choked out in her throat as she sat there, wondering on earth how he could have ever gotten that impression. No, nevermind, she understood it. They knew exactly how to push each other's buttons, and neither of them could calmly address it because in explaining the button-pushing, another fight would latch out because they continuously failed to see exactly where the other was standing. Pride and ego was a dangerous thing and Hermione knew it all too well. "The only thing I regret is the fact you had to ask that question. I loved you with my entire heart. The only regret is knowing we weren't ever going to return to the level of friendship we had before, but knowing full well that... We were only as turbulent as we were because neither of us were being honest." With what the true elephant in the room was at any point. Both wanted to be the eye of the prize, but in striving to do so, they'd put themselves in competition when they were always equaled. "Bit of a tragic catch twenty-two." But wasn't it always with them?

[thebrightestwltch]

"I'd give anything to be able to do magic."

"Then we need to get back to ourselves. We've fallen through the realms, we need to get back to our vibration. It's far more quantum than they ever touched on. We need to get back to our source. We can't do it locked down here, we're essentially fasting which is lowering every bit of energy and strength we have, not to mention we haven't had sunlight in days. Our bodies are slowly shutting down and while we have weeks, we're never going to be able to get out of this. It's why Remus spoke so strongly when he taught us how to conjure a patronus." Oh what simpler days those were. Harry was probably scrambling to get them back, but until they could return to their timeline, it was only going to get infinitely worse.

"We need to channel those emotions." The thick swallow that came after was nothing more than understanding prior to her own comprehension, tugging Ron back around to look at her. "No more negative thoughts, only good. Think back to happier times." Times before the world had fallen apart, times before their universe was ripped into shreds, people thrown out amongst the cosmos and timelines, wreaking havoc and chaos beyond what they ever knew. The Wizarding World had so much, but the muggles had their own misunderstanding of what they did in the world, and their ignorance and thirst to play God wasn't helping, especially not when said Muggles had a deity of destruction proudly displayed on their campus for the all to see.

"Picture me as whoever you need to, but we cannot die down here. This is survival, Ron." And whether or not it would work, it was the only solution. Their hands were raw at trying to pry away at the stones and while there was no logicial reason beyond her own overworked nervous system, every passing day, the room seemed to feel bit by bit, a little more small. A little more closing in. A little harder to breathe.

[thebrightestwltch]

“Did you mean it?”

"What part?" Hermione's voice wasn't exactly shrill, but her instability couldn't have been more obvious. The tears hadn't stopped rolling down her face for hours and he'd come within her final moments. "You yourself know the powers of black magic, Ron. The unforgivable curses. Of course I didn't mean it. People have killed hundreds of wizards at their hands and they've had to live with it, stuck on autopilot, screaming to break out of the cycle, no one any wiser the person before them is trapped within a cage, no one around to witness, no one around to unlock, to save..." Hermione liked to think of herself as a strong, independent woman, but it was within those moments in her life where her friends had pulled her out of the cold reach of death, and this had been no different. She'd been brewing the potion for three months now, wanting to remove all ramifications of her loss for the people she left behind...

The reign of her darkness had been felt, left alone standing on the edge of the world, screaming into the abyss for her strongest allies to come to her side... She hadn't any left at this point, the Dark Lord had done exactly what he'd set out to do. Now they were all scattered, weaker, ignorant to the realities of one another's lives. It was haunting, terrifying. The darkness had slipped in without warning, without realization, and the clutches of evil had swallowed her whole. It was by the divine grace of Merlin, the Universe, and every tangible realm that Hermione could even see the light.

And then there he was. In her lowest moment. In her final moments. "I had been trapped in my own head for so long, and I'd seen how my own weaknesses had become the very things that made people so ignorant. I'd like to think i'd left the biting in the past, but people were so quick to pray tell and think that was me. I understand, we all get so busy and tangled, but that's why compassion, empathy, understanding; actually listening, it's so important. That's why thinking for yourself and following your heart, your intuition, that's invaluable. Our lives had all gotten so chaotic, I'm sorry I hadn't seen it sooner." The tears were streaming from her eyes at this point, chest rattling with the desperation for a better tomorrow, not the eternal sleep she'd been willing to fall for. Maybe the tangles of the power hold hadn't entirely subsided yet.

"They have so many bits of my soul. I doubt I'll ever feel whole again, but you need to know, that wasn't me, Ron. I wish I could change everything, so much of it, all of it, but... That wasn't me." It didn't stop her from carrying the guilt of what she'd done, the weight of her actions, the absolute disconnect and isolation she'd been scraping by under, no one truly aware of how dark Hermione Granger's days had gotten. No one could have expected it, she knew better than to ask for help when the dawn had already set. "I never wanted to hurt you or anyone. I hope my soul speaks for itself, you knew intimately the girl I was, not the girl they molded me to be. They were feeding off of my life force. I was nearly dead. We're easier to pluck off on our own, it's exactly what they intended."

[thebrightestwltch]

“No way, the hand canon is the best.”

The hand cannon is the best...

The hand cannon is the ruddy best.

"For Heaven's sake, Ron -- move." An apologetic flare hung to Hermione's words, brows knitted together as she brought the rocket launcher up to lock on her sight, slung over her shoulder. She nestled her ear into the nook of her sweater before squinting, bracing for impact as the wide-eyed ginger ducked out of her way, 'Bloody hell!' that looked more like it said 'you crazy bloody woman!'. Thankfully they were always on the same team, at least until they weren't, but Hermione had faith in the universe that things would shift back to what they should be, and she was right every step of the way.

The clicking of the launcher pulled into place, a mechanic ritual springing to life as she made her choice, Ron scrambling behind her as the three remaining squad members approached them, smirks perched high upon their lips, the scene spiraling out of control a little too rapidly for their underdeveloped brains to make sense of the whirlwind. It hadn't even collided with the ground at their feet before Ron's shield was throwing up a protection bubble around them, a triumphant and all too proud smirk forming at his own lips.

"The hand cannon is great for those precise shots, but you're out of bullets and we needed a scene." Hermione quipped, albeit a smidge too proud of herself. She was never one for brutality, nor explosions, but the world had changed before their very eyes and adapting was the only way to get out alive, and they'd come way too far to lose it all now. "C'mon, we don't need to see who else is around, the storms coming."

[thebrightestwltch]

Do you ever just think of Hermione sitting at the Three Broomsticks on her birthday, post Hogwarts graduation, post falling out with the only people that matter because of some shady death eater rising shit, sadly drunk off her ass, book read and discarded on the side of the table as she sits there mulling over life and the importance. Crumbs dancing on the plate from her left over trecle tart as she idly zones into the past, thinking back before everything went to hell as another year passes?

[thebrightestwltch]

sometimes i check here to see if you're ever around again. it's good to see you are. i hope all is well with you. just wanted to let you know that you helped me more than you know. our friendship kinda faded. but what you did for me never will. i wish you the best.

I so wish this had a name tacked onto it. Fun fact, unmedicated adhd is a life ruiner that can make you hit a wall. I couldn't keep up with people/anything, and I tanked, so i'm sorry if i'm the reason for that, this means a lot to me. You (and anyone else feeling the same) should come off anon because wow, i've met a lot of incredible people on here. (admittedly i cant do the daily check ins rn, but i do love catching up and keeping in touch and seeing how people are.

[spctlessminds]

this ask meme is based on the blog gravesuggestion.  i’ve divided it up into two categories  ( light  &  dark )  based on the themes.  some of these can be somewhat triggering seeing that the darker ones deal with a lot of death mentions.  please be cautious before continuing on!!

L I G H T

‘  at night i dream of you.  ’ ‘  don’t give up yet.  you still have time to fix things.  ’ ‘  falling in love with someone else is not a personal attack.  ’ ‘  i am still so weak when it comes to you.  ’ ‘  i can’t believe i let myself let you down.  ’ ‘  i don’t care where we go when we die,  as long as i’m with you.  ’ ‘  i dream of saying to you all the words i held inside until it was too late.  ’ ‘  i feel so warm  &  safe when you talk to me.  maybe i could love you if you’d let me.  ’ ‘  i finally let the right people in  &  i have never felt so loved.  ’ ‘  i like the way your nails paint red stripes along my spine days after you’re gone.  ’ ‘  i lived in your permafrost for twenty years  &  then you looked at me  &  i felt the warmth of spring.  ’ ‘  i once wished you’d leave me alone,  but i take it back.  ’ ‘  i want to be able to love someone else,  but you stretch your arms  &  spread your legs inside my heart so that there is no room for anyone or anything else.  ’ ‘  i want to believe that we got it right this time.  ’ ‘  i wonder how much longer i can cling to your light before it expires completely.  ’ ‘  i would travel across the world to be by your side,  because as long as you are with me,  anywhere is a perfect place to me.  ’ ‘  it took me awhile to realize it myself,  but you are not what other people say you are.  ’ ‘  it’s not that i really need you,  but life would be pretty boring without you around.  there’s no one i would rather be with.  ’ ‘  i’d like to stay like this for awhile.  ’ ‘  life  &  death don’t have to be so boring,  let’s make both an adventure.  ’ ‘  life imitates art,  they say.  i didn’t believe it until i started to notice the way your eyelashes look so much like tiny ink stroke.  ’ ‘  live your life so that when you die,  souls will come for miles just to hear your historic tales.  ’ ‘  make your exes jealous  &  your past self proud.  ’ ‘  maybe you’re what i needed to find in order to move on.  ’ ‘  never get caught falling harder.  they’ll never let you back up.  ’ ‘  please don’t go.  ’ ‘  some days it’s easier to just stop fighting it  &  succumb.  ’ ‘  sometimes,  you’ll find it hard to keep going,  but you always will.  ’ ‘  the desire i feel for you is that same itching,  insidious hunger that an addict has for their addiction.  ’ ‘  the worst thing about you is that you weren’t all bad.  ’ ‘  there is absolutely nothing  &  no one who can stop me.  ’ ‘  there is no route of losing you that is without pain.  ’ ‘  there’s still room for adventure  &  there is no one i’d rather have by my side.  ’ ‘  things didn’t turn out the way i planned,  but i’m alright with that.  ’ ‘  we could be really incredible together,  you know?  ’ ‘  you are beautiful  &  vibrant  &  confident.  you are light  &  laughter incarnate  &  every fiber of your being screams freedom  &  joy.  when i am with you,  i am truly happy.  ’ ‘  you are starlight incarnate,  from the grand way you sway your hips to the wide mysterious way you think.  blessed are any to be loved by you.  ’ ‘  you are too afraid of the future to let go of a past that was never kind to you.  ’ ‘  you call me yours  &  i have no idea what that even means to you.  ’ ‘  you remind me of bubblegum  &  sweets;  soft  &  pink  &  warm.  you are strong in the gentlest way.  you are so stubbornly kind.  i wish i could be like that.  ’ ‘  you still visit me while i sleep sometimes.  your fingers trace my spine  &  i listen to you breathe.  please stop haunting me.  ’ ‘  ‘morbid curiosity’ is a wonderful way to describe how i feel about you.  ’

D A R K

‘  a thousand empty bottles  &  fist fights will never return to us what we lost that day.  ’ ‘  everyone else has moved on,  but i am still here.  ’ ‘  everything about you screams danger.  ’ ‘  everything is worthless to you  &  you,  in turn,  became worthless.  ’ ‘  for once in my life i want to be surrounded by people that i don’t feel like i need to impress.  ’ ‘  freedom is really hard to get used to.  ’ ‘  how could you do this to me?  how fucking could you?  ’ ‘  i am becoming everything we always dreamed of  &  i am leaving you behind.  ’ ‘  i buried you so well that you might as well have died.  ’ ‘  i can rest easy knowing that the person i love is dead  &  not the monster you became.  ’ ‘  i can’t look at you.  not now,  not ever.  ’ ‘  i don’t ask how you’ve been.  what’s the point?  you’d lie anyways.  ’ ‘  i dream of hearing the words i so desperately needed to lay your memory to rest.  ’ ‘  i haunted this house first.  there is no room for you here.  ’ ‘  i have a right to be upset.  i loved them too, you know.  ’ ‘  i just want it to end.  i want it to all go away.  i want to go away.  ’ ‘  i may be a wolf in sheep’s clothing,  but a snake hiding in the skin of a mouse is far more dangerous.  ’ ‘  i saw your face today  &  didn’t feel anything.  i am free.  ’ ‘  i tried to save you,  but you didn’t want to be saved.  you just wanted someone to suffer with you.  ’ ‘  it’s almost as if you were never here.  ’ ‘  it’s unhealthy to do these things,  you tell me.  you say it’s time to stop smoking,  time to stop gambling,  &  dammit,  i f you don’t stop drinking it’ll kill you.  i sure hope you’re right,  darling.  ’ ‘  i’m always pleasantly surprised by how easy it is to kill you in my mind  ’ ‘  i’m not really scared to die.  i’m more afraid that no one will miss me when i’m gone.  ’ ‘  i’m not the person you left behind anymore.  there’s no one here to miss.  ’ ‘  i’ve been dead far longer than i’ve been alive.  ’ ‘  i’ve eaten nothing but flower petals  &  ivy for weeks because i want to be beautiful inside like you.  ’ ‘  i’ve never been completely satisfied.  i most likely will still be unsatisfied long after my death.  ’ ‘  no motive other than pleasure,  my dear.  ’ ‘  one day i’ll go or you will.  either way,  it will be as if i’m losing a piece of myself.  ’ ‘  our dreams  &  promises decay along with you.  ’ ‘  the leaves change,  but nothing else does.  ’ ‘  the only difference between avoiding  &  leaving is that now i’m not waiting up for you.  ’ ‘  there is no such thing as a person who is required to love you.  ’ ‘  there’s only so much that can be done to repair old damage.  ’ ‘  things aren’t going as i hoped.  maybe if i die,  i can start over again?  better luck next time.  ’ ‘  this is not something to be proud of.  this is a tragedy.  ’ ‘  trying to get rid of me?  oh honey,  you’ll have to try much harder than that.  ’ ‘  trying to get under my skin?  you’re nothing more than a pesky itch.  ’ ‘  unlike you,  i can’t hide my identity when it becomes an inconvenience or a danger.  ’ ‘  weeping is for gods  &  martyrs,  we cannot afford such luxuries.  ’ ‘  would you even miss me?  ’ ‘  you are not important enough to earn an eternal place in my heart.  ’ ‘  you complain nonstop about being unloved  &  alone,  i can’t imagine what you’d be like if that were actually true.  ’ ‘  you don’t know what it’s like.  ’ ‘  you made this so fucking easy for me.  ’ ‘  you should see me as a threat.  i will tear down everything you know until there is nothing left of you.  i am a walking threat.  ’ ‘  you think i’m already gone,  but i’m still fighting.  ’ ‘  you think i’m dead,  but i’m just dying.  ’ ‘  you were never an addiction,  you were a fucking disease.  ’ ‘  you wouldn’t dare cross me.  i am god  &  you are the soil beneath my feet.  ’ ‘  your existence takes up so much more space in mine that we might as well be one entity.  ’ ‘  your fingers are so cold  &  bruised,  but you’re still slamming your fists again the barricade as if it makes a difference.  ’ ‘  your hair is tied in a noose  &  your fingernails are razor blades,  your lips are poison  &  i will gratefully kiss them.  ’ ‘  your hatred has a body count  &  we will not forget.  ’ ‘  your loss,  not mine.  ’ ‘  you’re a sick fuck.  you know that?  ’ ‘  you’re not gentle with me  &  i would never ask you to be.  ’ ‘  you’ve trapped yourself so thoroughly in your own mind that it’s not even a rut anymore,  it’s a pit.   ’

[thebrightestwltch]

‘ i can’t believe you actually gave him your number. ’

        SO HE DID CARE. News to her. Well. Maybe not. Hermione had suspected there was something Ron hadn’t been telling her and she wanted some solid proof. Maybe she’d found it in the scrunched brows, his expression distinctly surprised and a little judgmental. Yikes. As if she needed to be paying more mind to who received her number and the chance to potentially capture the heart of the bright Miss Granger. But there was something else, something in his eye — Hermione had caught it just before he’d turned back over his shoulder, brows pulled high as he shook his head. What else was he trying to say. 

        “I think he’s rather handsome.” Hermione shrugged, sitting up a little bit straighter against the wall. Her fingers had been fanning out gently over the page corners of her book. It had sat idle in her lap for over thirty minutes now, ever since Ron had come in and disrupted her peace and quiet. Not something she minded, usually, unless he was like this. Giving her a hard time when he did refused to do anything. 

        “Seamus reckons he’s going to be the next big footballer, maybe even better than Wayne Rooney. I think he’s got what it takes, but we both know that’s hardly what I’m interested in. If anything, I thought you two might get on because of it. He’s actually quite smart you know. He speaks three different languages and went to one of Bulgaria’s oldest private schools;verrrrry interesting stuff.” Hermione mused, lips pursing from spewing more details Ron wouldn’t care about in the slightest. Yet every bit of her hoped he would. Just hoped for some reaction or confirmation, or anything after all this time. 

      “Plus, what’s wrong with wanting maybe one whirlwind romance before I’m old and grey?” Was she being the least bit impatient and exaggerating for pride’s sake? Perhaps, but it wasn’t relevant. “No one here seems to be banging down my door.” She could only offer so many opportunities for him to bite. 

[kingwsly]

"You make the best pillow, I hope you know."

MEME.   ( randomness )      @thebrightestwltch

         it was an interesting position. the seats in the car pushed and pulled and placed just enough to make sure his long legs weren’t cramped and curled uncomfortably. then again, he was cramped uncomfortably - but happily so. the way hermione was curled in against his chest, her thumb lightly brushing over the faded lettering of his hoodie as this soft comfort… well, there was no way he could really complain. after too many nights being woken up by the busy town centers, worrying for their safety in the old beat up ford, it was nice to have found a place that was off the beaten track. everything was so quiet, so dark, weirdly nice. it was better than any foster home either of them had set foot in, that was for sure. the tinny noise of the rain hitting the car, soft rustling of the trees around them muffled by the car windows that were steaming from their body heat; it was like some weird dream come true. after all, they’d been making thes eplans for years - running away, doing things on their own terms, seeing the world and not becoming another statistic of unfortunate foster children left to rot in some obscure hellhole town. he could have quite easily fit into that crowd, but hermione could never. she was scrappy and tough, sure… but she deserved a bigger life than being stuck and a victim of being in the wrong life at the wrong time with the wrong people and the wrong opportunities.

          a soft, somewhat sleepy sigh left ron as his own fingers pulled to make sure the blanket was right up around hermione’s back. he was always hot - especially when he had someone basically sleeping on top of him - so being covered other than the sweats and hoodie? not necessary. but he did worry. the car was old, the weather was getting colder and by now he was almost entirely sure he’d promised that they’d sell the old car, buy a van and do it out like one of those crazy youtube videos - their own little home on wheels. they could have a kitchen, bed, maybe even a little bathroom if they were smart enough about it. but it cost money. the more they drove the ford, the less they would get for it and the more they’d have to hustle to get the money together for a transit van. it certainly wasn’t idyllic, even if it was the dream. lost in his thoughts of how on earth he’d learn how to wire lights and tile walls, ron had been sure hermione was at least dozing. her soft voice, however, didn’t cause him any sort of fright. if anything, it left his hand gently pressing more into the small of her back and a soft, breathy laugh leaving him.

          ❝ is this you telling me i’ve been eating too many pot noodles? ❞ he feigned offence as his eyes fell closed. without trying to jostle her too much, ron started to shift his legs - one awkwardly shifting through the centre console gap to stretch out his knee, the other resting on the armrest of the passenger door, trying to avoid the window crank. it wasn’t the healthiest lifestyle, but he had to keep reminding himself of the place they’d come from. this, being able to choose where to go and what to do and being able to look after themselves? a thousand times better than abiding by the rules of someone using them for the government allowance that came with fostering. so, sure, every meal for the last week had been something that could be rehydrated with boiling water or had come from a can - he still maintained that the heinz tomato soup he’d had to drink out of said can was basically his five a day for the week - and he wasn’t feeling the best for it, but it was way better than the alternative.

          once he was settled into a comfortable enough position, ron returned to rubbing his thumb against the small of hermione’s back over the blanket, a soft hum turned yawn falling from him. ❝ it’s pretty lucky that you’re kind of small, ❞ ron continued, voice slightly warped from the yawn. ❝ if you were some leggy model, i don’t think we’d have survived past day two. ❞ another half laugh left him then as the mental image of all the awkward positions they’d have to find if hermione was as tall as him crossed his mind. the van would have been far more of a priority then because he would have ended up breaking his back just to make sure his legs weren’t falling asleep. hell, he probably would have had to hang them out of the window, which was basically an invitation for some serial killer with a fetish to drag him out of the window feet first. even that joking mental image was enough for him to open his eyes again, listening out for any tell-tale noises that showed they weren’t alone. he wasn’t even sure where they were. maybe the midlands? maybe near wales? it had been a random selection of roads, deciding last minute where to turn when they got to junctions or letting service stations dictate when they stopped. if something happened, they’d be pretty screwed. that wasn’t smart. probably a bad idea. so the dream, the idyllic… maybe not so idyllic when he really thought about it.

          ❝ you get enough sleep? ❞ he asked, suddenly keen to get back on the road despite not knowing the time and being sure he hadn’t gotten more than a few ten minute naps in. ❝ i’m bloody starving, and i’m pretty sure there was a mcdonalds back the way we came. all i’ve been thinking about is those hash browns. ❞ a total lie - lying was definitely way too easy thanks to it being a basic survival skill in the foster system - that was starting to take effect and was thankfully backed up by the sudden rumble of his stomach. too much food talk, too many nerves thanks to his overactive imagination. as much as he would have loved to lay there in that weird position, enjoying the fact that they were actually together and doing well… the adrenaline was already flowing through his body and if he hadn’t just heard a twig snapping underfoot, then he was definitely going crazy. ❝ come on, i’ll buy you some tea to warm you up and then we’ll get back on the road. maybe we’ll spend sunset by the coast. ❞

[thebrightestwltch]

“I’m not too happy with who I am either, but we can’t all push what we went through aside like you do.”

         PUSH IT ASIDE? The hurt was immediate, but rather or not it would get through Ronald’s thick skull and register as it was was another question considering there he was again, completely blind to the reality. Too absorbed in his own world. The drugs, the pity, the aimless nothingness he was so fucking well obsessed with. Addiction was a disease, Hermione knew that — the guilt hardly bubbled up these days when resentment took over, wondering why he couldn’t just try harder considering that’s what she had to do for as long as she could remember. She was the problem solver, the “strong” one. How blind had they been for all these years? Bitterness sent venom pooling into her mouth as liquid frustration shimmered over her narrowed glare. God forbid she ever need help. Advice. Anything. 

        The only thing that reeled her in when her anger boiled over, threatening to explode and leave temporary scars  — third degree burns hot as molten lava  — was the fact that at any given time  — this could be the last time she’d ever see Ron. Sobriety, to him, was a bigger joke than the gags Harry and him had played upon her long ago within the walls of Hill House. Back when they were children; though make no mistake in assuming innocence had ever occupied their lives, no —  not when they’d been shoved off, murdered, dead, or purely unwanting parents sending their children off into the night. The Orphanage had left it’s own scars and her’s didn’t sleep  — her’s didn’t get pushed aside like he’d so ignorantly assume. 

       Grasping for compliments and praise, and any positive reinforcement is where Hermione had found her worth when she’d transitioned to her adolescent years. A more naive girl would have dissected his sentence and saw the blurred line where he’d commended her strength, her resilience. But that Hermione and that Ron had died years ago. They weren’t those people. They could never be those people again.Not as long as he kept poisoning himself, kept playing Russian roulette. Even if this was the last time they saw one another; that was on him entirely. She took no accountability for his blatant disregard for life, and instead overcompensated in controlling every single aspect of her’s. 

     “Let’s not act as if you’re making any attempt to change.” Hermione spat cooley as her arms crossed against her chest, back straightening in defense. “As if you’ve ever made any attempt to push through.” How much money had she sunk into rehab? Drugs? Food? Doing whatever she could to help Ron in the moment, just so he could come back, shoulders slightly heavy with remorse; if that’s even what he had the capacity to feel. Hermione would wager her savings against it. “You think it’s so easy for me because I’m always strung together for you! And for Harry! It’s always me holding you up. I’m not happy with us, Ronald! Because frankly, there isn’t much of one, is there?” At some point, she’d gotten impeccably shrill, emotion wavering each word as they walked on unsteady ground — threatening to topple over at any moment. “I’m trying to change, but you’re making it impossible!” Holding her down. Back. Over spent. Exhausted. Worried up all night. Constantly on edge. Waiting for the phone call and the inevitable news. 

      Hermione needed to do something, anything before she broke and wasn’t able to put the pieces back together. After all, the more they shattered, the smaller they got and it was always the anticipation of the fall that made it so much worse. This had been coming for years. 

[thebrightestwltch]

“Can I borrow some money for a hotel room or something?”

Growing up, It had always amazed Hermione exactly how many shades of white Ron could turn. Being a ginger gave him a particular advantage in that arena, though some could easily call it a curse where the sun was involved. Then again, the sun was never really the culprit was it? If the sun had been their biggest worry as children, or through life, it would be a fair assumption to say that they may have turned out normal. Somewhat normal, even. Any grasp of reality she would settle for. Still, Hermione had never truly known his palest shade until he’d gotten into drugs. More specifically when Ron had tried to get off drugs. Repeatedly. Because they always called him back and it was always another failed stint in rehab. He just couldn’t pull it together. 

He just couldn’t be an adult. 

Was that a grossly unfair thought to have? Let alone forbidden words that wouldn’t fall from her tongue unless that red hot anger and resentment sent her spiraling into a tearful breakdown? Why was SHE always the one that had to pull it together? Why was SHE always the one that had to be their solid ground? Their footsteps felt heavy upon her heart, yet they were the only family she had. Even if they hardly kept in touch these days. Perhaps it was easier. Perhaps thats what they wanted. To scrub every bit of their past until they felt clean and untouched by the hands of Hill House. The orphanage had been a prison on so many levels, though Hermione came to realize while the cell walls may have disappeared, the shackles only tightened. 

But she tried not to think about it. 

She tried to do her best to function. Therapy could only do so much and while there was little she could thank her childhood for, reading a room and realizing what others considered nothing more than illusions of grandeur and overactive imagination, and worst of all mental illness kept her lips tight and she could credit that for the reason she hadn’t found herself within the walls of a looney bin. After all, given the trauma they’d experienced — all three of them, it wasn’t a stretch to see why they were the way they were. She just hated it had to come like this. She just hated that she had to be the strong one. The strong and very alone one. Harry and Ron had been like glue once upon a time, but even Harry grew exhausted with the antics. But it was Hermione who slipped through the cracks, left to her books and cats. 

It should have been peaceful. 

But it wasn’t. 

Between Ron, and the inevitable popping up and reminding her how marked she was? 

How marked they all were?

Hermione’s eyes were void of emotion, a hollow coldness and resentment brewing behind unspoken words because now wasn’t the time. Now she would get herself fired up and speak her mind, only for it to go in one ear and out the other, not a word capable of retaining. At least not in her mind. Everything slid off Ron like oil and water, at least when it came from her mouth. At least that’s what routine told her. The constant stints. The one thing she could count on however, was the inevitable plea for money. 

The inevitable broken promises. 

Again and again. “Hotel room? Is that what they’re calling it now-a-days?” The brunette questioned sharply, though the emotionless cold still took hold as if begging him to reconsider for fear she’d get stuck like this forever. Hell, it was happening. It was always the drugs. That was the one thing she could count on. She wanted to forget just as bad, but if she couldn’t stand tall and put the boys in their place, who else would do it? “Or is the ‘or something’ what I’m supposed to latch onto?” That way it wasn’t lying. Keep it vague. Better to ask for forgiveness than permission in his eyes, wasn’t it?

As if to center herself, she inhaled deeply, eyes closing for the briefest period as Crookshanks hissed from the darkness of the living room. The conversation had lasted the entirety of the foyer, but Hermione refused to let it go any deeper. Not now. “I don’t have any money right now.” As it was, the last week had not been kind and the death of her Ruby had taken her by surprise and had significantly left her devastated. Not that he knew, nor cared. “You can sleep on the couch— but if you take anything and vanish…” Her words trailed off but the finality, while utterly false (though she was almost near convinced herself) remained etched into her words as a final warning. A final plea of her own. 

[littlelovelymemes]

(   *   &.   –   TO  ALL  THE  BOYS  I’VE  LOVED  BEFORE  SENTENCE  STARTERS .

*   taken  from  the  2018  movie  to  all  the  boys  i’ve  loved  before,   based  on  the  series  by  jenny  han.   you  can  also  find  the  book  starters  here.  as  always,   feel  free  to  change  pronouns !

‘  a lot of girls would be pretty weirded out by their boyfriend sleeping in someone else’s room, but you’re so trusting.  ’

‘  am i just a joke to you?  ’

‘  are you crazy? who’s gonna believe we’re in a relationship if i’m not allowed to kiss you?  ’

‘  are you keeping tabs on me?  ’

‘  are you kidding me? this is the reason why you broke up with me?  ’

‘  are you trying to reject me right now?  ’

‘  because i’m in love with you. only you.  ’

‘  before your murder our sister, could i just ask you a question?  ’

‘  being with you was so easy that sometimes i let myself pretend it wasn’t fake.  ’

‘  but over time, that feeling just faded away and i missed my best friend. and it wasn’t love.  ’

‘  can we talk about this? let me drive you home and i’ll explain everything to you.  ’

‘  can you maybe just admit that some part of you doesn’t want everything in your life to be a fantasy?  ’

‘  can you turn around? please?  ’

‘  come on, talk to me. what happened to no secrets?  ’

‘  do you think you might change your mind?  ’

‘  duh, first rule of fight club.  ’

‘  finally, everyone is gonna see you for who you really are.  ’

‘  for someone who has such good grades, you can be so dense sometimes.  ’

‘  for someone who’s quiet all the time, you sure have a lot of opinions.  ’

‘  he is not as confident as he pretends to be. i am not as though as i pretend to be. and you, you are not as innocent as you pretend to be.  ’

‘  he looks at you like you’re a sexy little rubik’s cube. he can’t figure you out, but he’s having fun trying.  ’

‘  her face is gonna be in the wrong place!  ’

‘  her logic was off, but her heart was in the right place.  ’

‘  how did i let this happen? i’m so stupid.  ’

‘  how do you tell your fake boyfriend you can’t go with him because you’re starting to have real feelings? you can’t.  ’

‘  i am way better looking than that guy.  ’

‘  i can count on you to be honest, always.  ’

‘  i can’t believe i inadvertently dabbled in porn before i lost my virginity, but it’s been a strange year all around.  ’

‘  i can’t believe i let you convince me to go on a trip that requires getting up before 7:00 am.  ’

‘  i could never hate you.  ’

‘  i don’t know how to be friends with you like this.  ’

‘  i don’t know what to tell you. that sucks. i’m sorry.  ’

‘  i don’t understand why you didn’t tell me all this was happening in the first place.  ’

‘  i heard my cousin dumped you for a college student, that true?  ’

‘  i heard you have a tail. is that true?  ’

‘  i just know that he likes you. i can tell by the way he looks at you.  ’

‘  i just wanna be super clear: i’m flattered, i am, but…  ’

‘  i just wanna finish this chapter.  ’

‘  i know you love me.  ’

‘  i know you’re only being nice to me because i accidentally made a sex tape and you feel bad.  ’

‘  i like your hair down. you look pretty.  ’

‘  i love how you’re not afraid of her.  ’

‘  i need you to know that i like you.  ’

‘  i need you to know that i like you. and not in a fake way.  ’

‘  i think it’s funny, you say you’re scared of commitment and relationships, but you don’t seem to be afraid to be with me.  ’

‘  i thought you were gonna hate me.  ’

‘  i wrote five love letters so don’t go feeling too special.  ’

‘  if i hear anyone talking about you or that video, i’m gonna kick all of their asses.  ’

‘  if it was real and he still doesn’t want me… then at least i’ll know.  ’

‘  if it wasn’t real then i didn’t lose anyone.  ’

‘  if you ask, it ruins the whole vibe. be cool.  ’

‘  if you miss him, why don’t you just tell him?  ’

‘  if you need me i’ll be in the nurses office, with a migraine, googling justin trudeau shirtless.  ’

‘  if you really, truly didn’t want those letters to be sent, then why did you address them?  ’

‘  if you’re gonna have sex in a public place, you’ve gotta deal with the consequences.  ’

‘  is it so unbelievable that someone could like me?  ’

‘  it was fated, that we should meet like this.  ’

‘  it was spin the bottle, you psycho! and it was tongueless!  ’

‘  it’s a cool trick, right? you wanna see me do it again?  ’

‘  it’s bad enough if a guy were to do this, but a girl? that’s despicable.  ’

‘  it’s been a strange year all around.  ’

‘  it’s cold outside. i don’t do cold.  ’

‘  i’d say if anyone stupidly fell for someone who doesn’t like them back, it’s not you.  ’

‘  i’m gonna kill you.  ’

‘  i’m just here to take down one of those chocolate shakes.  ’

‘  i’m just so tired of writing love letters. it’d be nice to receive them.  ’

‘  i’m more real to you than he is.  ’

‘  i’m not trying to date you.  ’

‘  i’m officially back to being invisible.  ’

‘  i’m onto a nickname for you: largie, it’s funny because you’re so small!  ’

‘  i’m sorry i didn’t sit next to you.  ’

‘  i’m tired of being second best or fake best.  ’

‘  last night was a mistake.  ’

‘  like i said, i didn’t do it.  ’

‘  look, i am really sorry. about everything.  ’

‘  look, i just wanna say that i really– i appreciate it, but it’s never gonna happen.  ’

‘  no one’s ever liked me like that.  ’

‘  no, this is a fight i have to handle myself.  ’

‘  no, you’re not just a joke to you, you just don’t understand the situation.  ’

‘  oh… it’s you.  ’

‘  screw you, you know my feet are always cold.  ’

‘  she just stopped drinking caffeine for some diet, i think she’s just in withdrawal.  ’

‘  she’s gorgeous, but you have way better style.  ’

‘  since you’ve been together, i’ve never seen you so happy.  ’

‘  sleep where you want, sluts.  ’

‘  so here’s the thing, i don’t actually like you. i just had to make it look like i liked you so someone else wouldn’t think i liked them.  ’

‘  so love and dating? i love to read about it and it’s fun to write about and to think about in my head, but when it’s real… yeah, it’s scary.  ’

‘  so, what, now you’re ignoring me?  ’

‘  still think you haven’t gotten a love letter?  ’

‘  stop. don’t finish that sentence.  ’

‘  the more people that you let into your life, the more they can just walk right now.  ’

‘  the reason i went to her room that night was to tell her that it’s over because… i’m in love with you.  ’

‘  then again, he’s a jock and they’re slow learners.  ’

‘  there’s no one like you.  ’

‘  this is all your fault! i hate everyone!  ’

‘  those shoes weren’t just cool, i thought they were kind of hot.  ’

‘  um, hi… personal space, much?  ’

‘  we are still together. you’re just trying to pull out because you’re scared.  ’

‘  we can never tell anyone that this relationship is fake because it would be too humiliating for both of us.  ’

‘  we need to have a contract so we’re on the same page about the rules.  ’

‘  we’re still cool, right?  ’

‘  …we’re still talking about her?  ’

‘  what do i have to do to get you to bring me one of these tomorrow?  ’

‘  what do you put in a contract for a real relationship?  ’

‘  what if we let people think we were actually together? just for a little while.  ’

‘  why didn’t you just tell me that? i feel like i would’ve understood.  ’

‘  you are such a snob!  ’

‘  you can be mad at someone and still miss them.  ’

‘  you can’t just sit up in your room writing love letters that you’re never gonna send out.  ’

‘  you didn’t even say it wasn’t true? you just let everyone think we had sex in the hot tub when you know we didn’t?  ’

‘  you didn’t tell anyone about last night, did you?  ’

‘  you gonna break my heart?  ’

‘  you got rules? come on, you really know how to zap the fun out of a situation.  ’

‘  you gotta trust.  ’

‘  you have this whole judgy face scenario going on.  ’

‘  you kissed me first.  ’

‘  you knew that i liked him and you kissed him anyway!  ’

‘  you know i’m gay, right?  ’

‘  you know people usually check behind them before they reverse to, you know, avoid killing others.  ’

‘  you know what? if you want me to read that then you have to give that to me.  ’

‘  you look good. you always look good.  ’

‘  you look pretty. i’ll prove it to you.  ’

‘  you owe me braid crowns for the rest of your life.  ’

‘  you should never go to college with a boyfriend.  ’

‘  you were never second best.  ’

‘  your filthy little secret’s safe with me.  ’

‘  your mouth is saying something, but your mouth said something completely different.  ’

‘  you’re like a sweet, innocent girl and he’s a complete dick. i don’t get it!  ’

‘  you’re officially pg-13 again.  ’

‘  you’re still in love with this bon iver wannabe?  ’

‘  you’ve gotta tell people how you feel when you feel it.  ’

[thebrightestwltch]

“I need to make Lavender jealous.”

disclaimer: inebriation station: population me.  i haven’t touched hermione, or my verses, or writing in 9,000,000 months because i haven’t been on the computer for more than two minutes given reality and have had crippling no beuno to everything i make. things are finally maybe almost to a point where i’m able to change that. writing? i don’t know her. so i’m sorry for this. i’m also not proofreading because that deletes this whole thing and puts me on the next train to cringe station and i kinda just wanna go home at this point, you know beebee? i miss our verses. and love rosie always. my timeline is haze city but let’s just consider this a warm up. nonsensical babbles? probably. sorry this is kind of weirdly a psa but also an apology because this is probably yikes but like LMLML! Also fuck icons, if I go searching, I’ll be left with disappointment and get lost in the folder because none are gonna come close so like w/e.      🕷   +    ♫

        Those words… That name… The feeling of fiery loathing that bubbled up and boiled rapidly under the surface. The one thing truly stopping Ron and Hermione— the dynamic duo that was basically inseparable from birth — was that ruddy devil woman! And Ron’s ruddy obsession with her! And how in moments like this (a beautiful, joyful night), she always managed to find real estate upon his lips (where Hermione desperately wanted to be— even if only for a moment, just enough time to convince herself that it wasn’t just in her head), monopolizing his mind and starving his attention away from focusing in the moment with her. Living in the now and not focusing on phones or the latest drama or scandal.. Ever since they’d finally had their first run around, their time together always had an underlying elephant in the room. Lavender. 

         Couldn’t it just be about them? The London Eye was on a slow crawl to the top, something Hermione noticed as the silent inhale of utter frustration as she curved an eye roll into a sudden halt— focusing on two cabins. One, a happy couple. Something so many people assumed they already were. The other, a group of friends. American, she suspected judging by what she could make out. Tourists always gave off their own noise. Their own take on things, mass mannerisms, and their movements. How they looked at the world. And of course, there were no denying the headlines which could only be evoked by the corrupt and masses of ignorance. Sadly, both of which seemed to be at play. The point was, they were happy. They seemed wholly in the moment, laughing and warmly embracing. Having moments and memories, something Ron terrifyingly played a part in on every single aspect of Hermione Granger’s life. 

         It was all going to come to an end. The absence— his absence was going to consume her. How long before Hermione vanished from him entirely? Ron was a physical person. He was utter shit at writing, and getting letters over the summer when they’d travel; oh it was a nightmare! Not only that, but calling? In a house like the Weasleys when Fred and George would always pick up? Snorting and giggling in the background as they did their best to embarrass Ron with whatever blackmail material they’d gotten within the last twenty four hours. And with the twins? Well. their streak wouldn’t have been broken had they kept on about calls. Truth was it was mostly texting, otherwise, they were joined at the hip. Next to always. 

                 Things had gotten far too twisted. I need to make Lavender jealous. 

        Ron’s words echoed through her mind as he pocketed his change, accepting his third post-dinner snack (”Yunno, we don’t have this at home, Hermione! Hard to get, isn’t it?” an argument she couldn’t win — not when it came to food), a large (all too plush) cone of bright blue cotton candy was hand delivered. A wafting trail of sugary sweet caught on the coat tails of the river breeze, causing Hermione’s attention to shift back to him as he pulled a large piece (handful) of the wispy cloud, eagerly picking away at it, but not before thanking the lady and setting back on their way. It was infuriating for three reasons. 

        One; the dull ache to kiss him that lingered from time to time (always), moments prior to the mention of Lavender Brown’s name had been radically thrown into overdrive and for a split second, Hermione had been on the tips of her toes, toying with the idea of just … giving him a peck, and seeing how he reacted as they waited for the sweet little lady to get Ron his fresh cone of cotton candy(”Made right in front of us. Almost like a little cooking class.” A nudge, because he did remember when she nagged him for a week how it might be fun if they did one. He was saving it for his arsenal, to unload on his own time). Maybe it could have been the moment. This wasn’t, couldn’t be all just in her head. 

       Two; it had felt like a nice evening. Like he was being there, and with her, and now… Now Hermione found herself wondering when exactly she came to mind, and how long Lavender had been playing uninvited tag-along to their night? Petty jealousy, yes, but she was only human. After all and how many times had Lavender made her regret every single chance, and every time her very good advice had been thrown in the fire because people sometimes refused to accept her judgement as better, and perhaps even spot on. 

       Three; . . . Well. Because! Obviously! But we weren’t going to go there because reason three only opened up the door, for reason four to ten, and the list went on. All very much similar. Logical to illogical and seldom plausible, but it all came back to the same thing, always. Them. And Ron’s sodding INABILITY to read a room. To have any emotional capacity, especially when held in comparison to Hermione’s, and the never ending barrage of thoughts that plagued her mind. His emotional insensitivity perhaps. 

          And that’s why the lovey dovey (perhaps maybe) had shifted to a slow boiling irritation. A grating elephant she couldn’t outright address, but almost aloft, as if she hadn’t heard at all what Ron said, Hermione spoke, brows knitted together in just noticed interest, and odd disgust too, as they walked. “You know,” She started, her hand apologetically motioning to the unnatural blues. “That’s startlingly similar to those spider nests I sent you in that article on the little Greece town. What was the name of it aga— Right! Aitoliko!” Though for a moment, her words clipped, feigning a forced look away from Ron. “I can’t believe you’re eating that, honestly, just looking at it and the thought of hundreds of thousands of baby spiders just spilling out — I can’t help but picture it. Not after that video.”  The one she’d showed him with absolutely no context, just a gasped ‘Isn’t it horrible?!’. Which, it of course was. 

          And after that total memory recall, Ronald Weasley certainly wouldn’t either. Hermione was playing it up, of course. On the inside a passively frustrated (and not at all actually picturing spiders in his cotton candy) and perhaps a little clipped in hurt and agitation lashing out in the most civil  way she could. Sort of like the first time she’d stripped him of his ignorance (knowing full well) that there was a little fear of spiders. There were videos, swarms thriving. Entities and nests of spiders moving about in hiveminds. Waves and a puzzle piece shattering down into thousands, only each piece was a spider. Australia had that problem every now and then, but this had been the most recent attack and educational purposes had been quoted when he’d asked why! on earth she had to tell him. Always an answer. 

          “Sorry. What was it you were saying?” Hermione questioned, clearing her throat and trying to rid the disgusted and judgmental tone that he’d been able to think anything else after receiving it, let alone putting it in his mouth before moving on. Still, she couldn’t look at him. Good luck getting back to Lavender Brown back into conversation. As it was now, Ron was probably onto thinking about tiny little spiders crawling down his throat, or even touching his lips. Lavender wasn’t going to besmirch everything she held near and dear and if he could just focus...  Well. Things might be a bit different. 

         Hermione should have felt bad about the whole thing, but Lavender had already turned the tables. 

[kingwsly]

“I can’t do that.”

MEME.   ( randomness )      @thebrightestwltch

          had the situation been different, maybe the answer wouldn’t have sent a wave of frustration through ron in that moment. but, considering it was a life or death moment? he thought his frustration at quite possibly the only other person alive was entirely justified. hell, he was scared out of his mind and convinced he was going to be the next human kebab, thrown onto a hook and left for sacrifice to some weird multi armed creature. just the thought left a shiver running down his spine, even despite the muggy heat of the swampland they were currently creeping through. what they’d just witnessed? if he survived this, he would never forget that sickening image. it was probably why hermione was in some sort of shock. hell, he wasn’t entirely sure why he wasn’t in shock. he was no hero. he’d watched people being chopped down with machetes and axes too much over the last few hours. hell, he’d only managed to get one generator going out of god knows how many that were needed to power something. possibly an escape? possibly just for nothing, leaving them illuminated for some sick psychopath’s taking. 

          ❝ you have to. ❞ his voice was a strained whisper, pained and far too desperate. but, giving up wasn’t an option and can’t wasn’t something he had the patience for. that was his excuse for all but shoving hermione into the cramped locker before climbing in himself. he wasn’t that guy who manhandled anyone. that wasn’t his thing, but he wasn’t watching hermione die. not a chance. perhaps it was selfish. she was smart and nimble and had figured out way more than he had and he had a distinct feeling that he wasn’t getting out of here without her help. so, maybe he was smart for making the decision to ensure she survived as well, right? or maybe he didn’t want to die alone. that could have easily been the other option.

          as he closed the creaking metal doors shut, ron felt an instant regret running through him. the sound of their exhausted, adrenalin fuelled breathing was amplified by the metal box. as was the heat, leaving the cold sweat of fear turning into the sweat of running for his life in some disgusting, muggy, too hot land he’d never seen before. while his eyes adjusted to the new level of darkness, ron realised he’d been gripping hermione’s wrist possibly a little too tightly. given the situation, perhaps it was forgivable. he’d either sentenced them both to die in a metal locker sized coffin, or he’d saved them from the looming footsteps. surely that was worth maybe bruising her wrist in the long run, right? even still, he opened his mouth to apologise or even just find something to fill the uncomfortable silence that bred anticipation and fear. yet, just as the first breathy sound left him, the thud of footsteps began to grow louder on the wooden deck just outside the locker. the fear simply left ron seeing his life flash before his eyes combined with the uncomfortable ringing of his own terrified heartbeat thundering in his ears. god, he’d been so naive to think he was going to make it to at least fifty before having to worry about dying. even then, he was somewhat sure his overindulgences were what was going to get him, not some sick murderer wearing a mask and wielding weapons that belonged in super villain lockers.

          then, the scrape of metal on metal happened. for some reason, it prompted ron to slowly raise onto his tiptoes to peer out of the small vent at the top of the lockers. he definitely regretted that instantly. he could see the monster that had been chasing and killing them with far too much detail. the light from the nearby generator was illuminating his skin. what ron had once thought was just some disturbed human, no longer looked human with the way the muscles were so obvious and no skin was covering them. even the laboured breathing seemed non-human. more animalistic in some ravenous way. almost as soon as his eyes caught sight of the monster, ron dropped from his tiptoes. of course, he’d forgotten that he was standing on rusty metal, on a creaky deck, in a very humid swamp - all of which led to a telltale squeak-thump combination, just from the transfer of his weight. it was enough to alert the monster, leaving ron throwing his arm over hermione in some last ditch effort to protect her even as his eyes closed and he swallowed thickly. he was braced for the worst. this sick whatever it was, wasn’t just going to let him die easily. he’d seen what it did: injuring people until they were gasping and sobbing in agony. only then did he hand them over and dispose of them on the weird hooks.

          the creaking of the deck under the weight of the killer left ron’s stomach churning uncomfortably. in his mind, he could only picture the half covered face peering in through the cracks, a sadistic smile landing on its face knowing it had caught someone else. then, a loud bang. one of the generators, signaling that someone was near, accompanied by the bone chilling and deafening screech of the killer’s chainsaw slowly distancing away from the locker. it was only when ron heard the scream of someone else - maybe it was the blonde he’d passed earlier who had found some old tools, or perhaps the short guy who seemed to be running in circles - that he realised he had been holding his breath. it sounded far enough away to give them a chance at escape. although, something in him just wouldn’t let him move just yet. his arm was still pressing hermione back against the locker, eyes slowly opening. it took a few breaths before he was able to at least pretend to compose himself, coupled with an audible swallowing of bitter saliva that had gathered as his stomach turned in the midst of fear.

          ❝ come on. we’re not dying here. ❞ his words, although whispered low enough that they were just audible, sounded far more confident than he felt. hell, he was glad that it was dark inside of the locker because it was hiding the shaking of his hands as he reached to push open the door. just a crack at first, then just enough to let them both out - if he’d learned anything, it was to not put any excess strain on anything around here. the crumbling buildings seemed to scream when climbed or touched when on the run. hell, the ground seemed to be giving them away. and the birds? it was like they were following them, insisting on calling out that they were still around. although self preservation felt like the logical, selfish choice, as he stepped out onto the deck again and held out a hand for hermione, ron felt a sense of guilt. he hoped desperately that, whoever the person was that had backfired the generator? they’d gotten away safely. if not, he owed them. ron wasn’t even sure it was possible to survive being on one of those hooks, but if he came across anyone hanging there, he was going to get them down. a more dignified death with the comfort of another person rather than being sacrificed to god knows what? he’d have preferred that. 

          ❝ let’s go. ❞