NotOneLine

Lucifer focused blog. Fanfiction Writer over on AO3.

[calia-lynn]

Watercolor, mixed-media painting for the "Lucifer Maui Fund". @notonelineff's beautiful vision of Chloe Decker in a red silk dress dancing with Lucifer. Inspired by a Day of the Dead figurine & her wonderful fic:

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

#luciferfanart #deckerstar #lucifanart #Luciferfanfic #lucifermorningstar #deckerstarfanart #watercolor #watercolorfanart #fanartwatercolor #mixedmedia #mixedmediaart

[assiraphales]

ppl really would rather jump through hoop after hoop to explain a character being ruined/ooc instead of just admitting it was shitty writing

[allicat9ffr]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

Final chapter of Rational Creatures has been posted!

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife.

A truth less acknowledged, but no less known, is that, in the meantime, such a man will settle for a whore.

Chloe Espinoza works as a lady of the night. When she is hired to entertain at one of the mysterious Lord Morningstar's infamous parties, her life is changed forever. Now, Chloe finds herself thrown into the complicated world of the aristocracy - struggling to hold her own in the face of traitorous nobles, dastardly murder plots, and a romance like she's never known; where and no one, not even Lord Morningstar, is quite what they first appear.

Inspired by @notonelineff challenge to write a 'reverse Bridgerton', which I took incredibly seriously.

[allicat9ffr]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife.

A truth less acknowledged, but no less known, is that, in the meantime, such a man will settle for a whore.

Chloe Espinoza works as a lady of the night. When she is hired to entertain at one of the mysterious Lord Morningstar’s infamous parties, her life is changed forever. Now, Chloe finds herself thrown into the complicated world of the aristocracy - struggling to hold her own in the face of traitorous nobles, dastardly murder plots, and a romance like she’s never known; where and no one, not even Lord Morningstar, is quite what they first appear.

Inspired by @notonelineff’s challenge to write a ‘reverse Bridgerton’, which I took incredibly seriously.

[fuckruarychallenge]

Read about our rules and posting process here.

Prefer music prompts? We've got a Spotify playlist.

Don't forget to join our Discord server!

You can also find us on Twitter.

[fuckruarychallenge]

Lucifer Fandom's Fuckruary 2023 Rules and Posting Process (Please reblog!)

Fuckruary is an erotic fanwork challenge for the Lucifer fandom. All writers and artists are welcome to participate!

The challenge is open to any and all adult pairings, orientations, kinks, and fetishes. Porn Without Plot (PWP), Porn with Plot, Porn with Feelings, and other porny stories and creations are welcome. Humor, fluff, and angst are welcome. That weird thing you’re into is welcome. That also means that weird thing you’re not into is welcome.

Leave your judgment at the door!

That said, don't be a creep. This should go without saying (and it's never been a problem before), but no works depicting characters who are underage in the show in a sexual situation. Rory as an adult is obviously fine if you want to go there.

Where to Find Fuckruary

Here at fuckruarychallenge and under the tag #fuckruary2023

On Twitter as fuckruary and under the tag #fuckruary2023

On AO3 under the tag Fuckruary 2023 (Lucifer TV)

On Discord at https://discord.gg/b4UY2r6Y4h

Posting Process

01. Select your prompts. Each day in February has its own set of prompts, but you are welcome to use them out of order. You are also welcome to combine them.

02. Create your fanwork(s). Write your fic(s) or make your art pieces(s). Remember, the goal is to write fics that deserve M ("Mature") and E ("Explicit") ratings, or create erotic or more suggestive artwork. You can, of course, create G/T-rated fade-to-black content, but it goes against the spirit of the challenge. Writers are encouraged to stick to one-shots of 12,000 words or fewer.

03. Post and share your work(s).

Post between Feb. 1st and Feb. 28th, 2023.

Writers, you must post to AO3. Stories posted elsewhere will not be recognized. Make sure to tag your fic with Fuckruary 2023 (Lucifer TV).

Artists, post wherever feels most comfortable, but you're encouraged to post to both Twitter and Tumblr.

Mention @ fuckruary in your tweets on Twitter and @fuckruarychallenge in your posts on Tumblr. On either service, use the tag #fuckruary2023. This will help the official Fuckruary accounts retweet and reblog your work.

For writers on Twitter, it's recommended you share a screencapped excerpt of your story and maybe some inspo imagery, but be mindful of what's appropriate for your audience. On Tumblr, make sure to use a "Mature" or "Sexual Themes" community label on your post. (Here's how to set community labels: https://help.tumblr.com/hc/en-us/articles/5436241401239)

04. Boost other creators. While not a required part of the posting process, please remember to boost other creators in the challenge by commenting, bookmarking, kudosing, and/or retweeting and reblogging links to the works on social media.

[fuckruarychallenge]

Lucifer Fandom's Fuckruary 2023 Rules and Posting Process (Please reblog!)

Fuckruary is an erotic fanwork challenge for the Lucifer fandom. All writers and artists are welcome to participate!

The challenge is open to any and all adult pairings, orientations, kinks, and fetishes. Porn Without Plot (PWP), Porn with Plot, Porn with Feelings, and other porny stories and creations are welcome. Humor, fluff, and angst are welcome. That weird thing you’re into is welcome. That also means that weird thing you’re not into is welcome.

Leave your judgment at the door!

That said, don't be a creep. This should go without saying (and it's never been a problem before), but no works depicting characters who are underage in the show in a sexual situation. Rory as an adult is obviously fine if you want to go there.

Where to Find Fuckruary

Here at fuckruarychallenge and under the tag #fuckruary2023

On Twitter as fuckruary and under the tag #fuckruary2023

On AO3 under the tag Fuckruary 2023 (Lucifer TV)

On Discord at https://discord.gg/b4UY2r6Y4h

Posting Process

01. Select your prompts. Each day in February has its own set of prompts, but you are welcome to use them out of order. You are also welcome to combine them.

02. Create your fanwork(s). Write your fic(s) or make your art pieces(s). Remember, the goal is to write fics that deserve M ("Mature") and E ("Explicit") ratings, or create erotic or more suggestive artwork. You can, of course, create G/T-rated fade-to-black content, but it goes against the spirit of the challenge. Writers are encouraged to stick to one-shots of 12,000 words or fewer.

03. Post and share your work(s).

Post between Feb. 1st and Feb. 28th, 2023.

Writers, you must post to AO3. Stories posted elsewhere will not be recognized. Make sure to tag your fic with Fuckruary 2023 (Lucifer TV).

Artists, post wherever feels most comfortable, but you're encouraged to post to both Twitter and Tumblr.

Mention @ fuckruary in your tweets on Twitter and @fuckruarychallenge in your posts on Tumblr. On either service, use the tag #fuckruary2023. This will help the official Fuckruary accounts retweet and reblog your work.

For writers on Twitter, it's recommended you share a screencapped excerpt of your story and maybe some inspo imagery, but be mindful of what's appropriate for your audience. On Tumblr, make sure to use a "Mature" or "Sexual Themes" community label on your post. (Here's how to set community labels: https://help.tumblr.com/hc/en-us/articles/5436241401239)

04. Boost other creators. While not a required part of the posting process, please remember to boost other creators in the challenge by commenting, bookmarking, kudosing, and/or retweeting and reblogging links to the works on social media.

[buffyblue]

[notonelineff]

The Curse of Lucifer: Plausible Ideas with Poor Execution

Season 6 spoilers below.

Before I start, I want to make it clear that I am in no way saying that "Plausible Ideas with Poor Execution" applies to every single plot point in Lucifer. It doesn't. If it did, I wouldn't watch it. But this is an issue that, in my mind, has plagued some of the show's storylines, including those in S6.

A prime example of this is Chloe's betrayal in S4. It's totally feasible to me that she would react the way she did. But a lot of fans found it unbelievable after everything she and Lucifer had been through together, and as a result, the character received a lot of hate for it, and I mean a lot. The reason? Because the writers failed to set it up properly. Kinley's manipulation of Chloe was inadequate, to say the least. Suggesting that Lucifer doesn't lie is the biggest lie of all is excellent, but the rest of it? A book which Chloe herself points out is circumstantial evidence, and...? There were options that would have been far more convincing to the audience - involving Trixie and playing on Chloe's instincts as a mother, for example. S4 was a tight season with only 10 episodes, but the issue was never extra time. It was what we were shown in the scenes that we got. Which is exactly the problem we have with S6. So let's move on to three things about that finale, shall we? 1. Lucifer and Chloe had a choice. Lucifer chooses his daughter's wishes over his own desire to stay on Earth with Chloe and raise her. A beautiful and poetic parental sacrifice... or it would have been, if not for the way it was handled. How to make it seem like your character had a choice? Don't have them make it under duress. Here's Lucifer's side of that conversation with Rory: "Rory, no! I'll miss your childhood. I'll miss your life! Please... No. Please don't do this. Don't. I can't! Don't MAKE ME do this. I can't." Do they need to show how desperately Lucifer doesn't want to leave them? Yes. But having him beg her not to make him is entirely the wrong way to go about it if you want the audience to come away with the impression he had any choice in the matter. By including those two words, they left the fandom completely divided on this issue. (And I mean that literally - there was a poll on Twitter which came out 50/50.) And then there's the fact they give Chloe no agency whatsoever. She merely stands there while Rory and Lucifer (if you go with the view that he had a choice) decide her future for her. The rest of her human life is considered nothing more than a blip, without any thought to how time is perceived by mortals. One desperate look at Chloe from Lucifer, and one nod in return from her, would have included her in the conversation. Instead, she is left out of the equation entirely, as though it's assumed that because she's a mother, her choice is automatic. There is definitely an argument to be made that they could have changed their minds afterwards. But Rory knew what she was doing when she had Lucifer give his word. We've only seen Lucifer break his word once, and that was when he thought he was putting Chloe in danger. This time, by breaking it, he thinks he would be putting the Rory he knows in danger of disappearing. Which leads me on to... 2. Rory doesn't want to change I think we can all understand this. How many of us would want to be erased? Sure, I can give you reasons aplenty as to why I think Rory should have sacrificed herself, but that's not the point of this post. The point is, the reason Lucifer and Chloe do as she asks is because she wants to stay as she is. But the writers make that difficult for some parts of the fandom to understand, because outside of being an angsty teenager, her character is barely established at all. Here's what we know about Rory: 1. She's older than she looks. Despite being written as an angry 15 year old, she's actually older than 20. It's not until the end of the show that it's revealed she's between 40-50 years old. 2. She likes her cool wings, because they remind her of her mom. 3. She loves and idolises her mom. 4. She is angry at and hates Lucifer enough that she self-actualised time travel to come back and kill him. His disappearance "ruined her life."

So why should the audience care about her enough to prioritise her wishes over Chloe and Lucifer's happiness? She's a brand new character, and we know almost nothing about her. She's 50 years old. What kind of life does she have? Does she have a career, a partner, passions, hobbies, other than liking to drive her dad's car really fast? Instead of making it clear why Rory doesn't want to change, the writers are more successful in making it seem like she has a childhood she would want to change, especially after seeing how happy her mom is with Lucifer. This isn't helped by the focus not being on Rory changing, and far more on her desire for Lucifer to help souls in Hell (more on this later). She gets one throwaway line on the subject: "That you won't change me!" I won't lie, the scene is so hectic that I actually missed it the first time around. It wasn't until later, by reading interviews, that I realised this was supposed to be the main motivation for the decision. Finally, it's made clear in the season that Rory doesn't know how time travel works. In one moment, she can't reveal the future in case anything changes. In the next, she’s not only telling people what happens, but also saying the future is set and nothing can be changed.

So when Rory says about her changing, she actually has no idea if that will be the case. Lucifer is already set in a universe where if reality is changed, the core of people remains the same. As was stated in the AU episode, they make the same choices, have the same passions. The audience knows this, and it makes the idea harder to swallow. 3. Lucifer wouldn't have realised his calling without Rory travelling back in time If Rory never travels back, then she never brings Dan to Earth, giving Lucifer a chance to unintentionally help him to Heaven. He also never helps Rory, meaning he never reaches the conclusion that he wants to help free souls of their guilt. Except... by the end of episode 3, the writers already have Lucifer halfway there. Hell, the beginning is established at the end of season 5, with Lucifer talking about how unjust the situation is. He helps Mr. SOB get to Heaven by taking him to the source of his guilt. He is actively trying to find a way to help Dan when we kick off season 6. By episode 3, he is investigating the loop of Jimmy Barnes to try and find a way to help him. Has he succeeded yet? No. But he is working his way towards it, and it does his character an injustice to say that he wouldn't have gotten there without Rory. All it would have taken was one conversation with Maze for him to realise why putting Dan in his own kind of purgatory wasn't working. Or further therapy and discussion on the subject with Linda. There are many, many ways for him to get there, with just a little help. In order to sell the idea that the loop has to happen, and that Rory has to be there for him to understand his calling, she needed to be far more instrumental in the process. In conclusion: Do I like the end of S6? No, I think anyone who follows my Twitter account already knows that. But perhaps I could have accepted it more if what they were trying to achieve was presented more effectively. A clear choice made by a parent to save the future child they have fallen in love with, who in return is sacrificing a childhood where she could have been raised by both her parents, so that her father can help other people. But that's not what we got, and it's one of the reasons the fandom will forever be at odds over it.

[awfullyqueerwriter]

I just finished season 6, and I really hated it- mostly just that last half of the last episode. Because what would have been good is if Lucifer learned from his other self’s mistakes. If he had learned that leaving forever wasn’t going to work. The writers failed to give a meaningful reason why Lucifer couldn’t just use it as a job like any other- whose to say he couldn’t just work from 9 to 5 helping souls, and then spend the rest of the time with his family.

Also, given that they established that hell was, well, hell for him, and that he hates any time spent there, it really reads as Rory- a new character who I don’t have the same emotional conection with- forcing Lucifer into hell for all eternity, just because... I watched it five minutes ago and I’m coming up empty. She doesn’t want to not exist? 

One last thing- the fact they didn’t establish how time travel works absolutely ruined all emotions of the last episode. I think it was purposeful? Like, the characters not knowing would have made the free will vs. fate debate more heated? Except they acted like they did know how it worked, but constantly flipped between if the timestream was changable or not.

The season was perfectly good, right up until the end, and that will never not frusterate me.

[notonelineff]

Personally I suspect the reason the characters don't know how time travel works is because the writers don't know how time travel works. Which is pretty fundamental when you're writing a story about time travel. Ildy actually says in an interview that it 'breaks her head.'

But we do know what their intention was, and that's for it to be a closed loop paradox. Everything that's already happened will happen again. "Inevitable and unbreakable" as Rory says, in amongst her various flip flopping between how time travel works.

What they don't seem to realise is, that completely removes any possibility of free will. Rory asks Lucifer to abandon her and Chloe to emotionally traumatise her because she doesn't want to change from the person she is. But she's only the person she is because Lucifer abandons her and Chloe emotionally traumatises her. The characters are put in the same situation on a continuous loop which means they make the same 'choices' again and again and again.

But Rory's 'choice', as you said, doesn't just affect her, even though she seems to think it does. ("My life, my choices.") Not only does she send her father to Hell, a place they remind us is terribly lonely, but she also condemns her mother to the life she's already seen her have. Alone, and having to struggle to cope with everything by herself as Rory cries and rages at her.

She watches how happy she is with Lucifer ("I want to remember you like this.") and tears it all away from her anyway. She hears her sister say that she loves Lucifer, and then sends him away, despite the fact she's only just lost her dad.

The writers depended heavily on the fact that everyone would love Rory simply because she's Deckerstar's daughter, while also making her extremely unlikeable for most of the season. And for a lot of people, it worked.

For the rest of us, it really, really, didn't.

[hearttailsfandomstuff]

It doesn’t help that this season came off the heels of season 5 with its “forgive your abuser” plotline. The way everything that happened with god came across to me in season 5 was basically saying it’s ok to neglect and abuse your children as long as you had a reason for it, which REALLY didn’t sit right with me.

I let it pass though (sort of) because the characters seemed happier than they had been before and it provided some decent character development. Lucifer decided he was ok with becoming God because he would be better at it than his father was.

Season 6 destroyed that though because it changed from “forgive your abuser” to “you are doomed to continue the cycle and become the abuser”. The way Rory thinks about and treats Lucifer is very similar to how he felt about God. With good reason. From her perspective, it’s a very similar situation. But that means that Lucifer is forced to become just like his dad which he never wanted to be. Ot throws out the emotional growth that came from Lucifer working things out with his father and spits in the face of the point of the show that you can defy your past and become who you want to be. Overall a really disappointing ending to a hood show

[notonelineff]

Honestly, with each interview that came out after S6, I found myself more and more outraged with the intention behind it all and the messages they wanted to leave the audience with.

First of all, the fact that the entire premise, the "story spine" for the season was turning Lucifer into his Father. Turning him into the man who abandoned him, neglected him, and worst of all, intentionally caused him emotional trauma because, in Ildy's words, it was "the best thing for him."

According to Joe, all along they had been telling the "story of Lucifer understanding his Father’s perspective, understanding that his Father was actually trying to do what was right by him." Which tells me that they never actually watched their own show, because they seem to have no clue about the story they actually showed on screen.

Because there's a reason so many victims of abuse identify with Lucifer and found (emphasis on the past tense there) comfort in this series. It was a story of being able to move past your trauma and build a life for yourself despite it, not because of it.

Aiming to make the victim understand their abuser is sickening on a level I find difficult to even express. Because abandonment and neglect is abuse. Especially if it's purposeful, as it's revealed that in God's case, it was, in order for Lucifer to know what it's like to fall and to rise, and become the healer God wanted him to be.

Which makes it all the more horrifying that Lucifer then repeats that cycle and causes his own child trauma of the same nature. Something his character would never do, which is why the writers were excited to find a way to force him to. Because "that story, that's fun."

Fun.

It's fun for Lucifer to abandon his child, knowing that she will eventually grow so angry and full of rage towards him that one day she will want to kill him. Fun for her blame herself for his leaving, to be "consumed by guilt, by anger and self-hatred" to the point that she will develop a Devil face all of her own.

Fun for Chloe to be left in the position where she has to lie to her daughter for the rest of her life, and watch her suffer because of it. Fun for her to have to do whatever is necessary to make sure Rory turns into the older version of herself, to never do anything that might prevent her from hating her father. To stand by as she yells and cries, knowing she can't do anything to help.

It's all just a blip though, so none of it matters. And while no parent wants to see their child in pain, it's part of the job to cause it, right?

...Right?

[notonelineff]

The Curse of Lucifer: Plausible Ideas with Poor Execution

Season 6 spoilers below.

Before I start, I want to make it clear that I am in no way saying that "Plausible Ideas with Poor Execution" applies to every single plot point in Lucifer. It doesn't. If it did, I wouldn't watch it. But this is an issue that, in my mind, has plagued some of the show's storylines, including those in S6.

A prime example of this is Chloe's betrayal in S4. It's totally feasible to me that she would react the way she did. But a lot of fans found it unbelievable after everything she and Lucifer had been through together, and as a result, the character received a lot of hate for it, and I mean a lot. The reason? Because the writers failed to set it up properly. Kinley's manipulation of Chloe was inadequate, to say the least. Suggesting that Lucifer doesn't lie is the biggest lie of all is excellent, but the rest of it? A book which Chloe herself points out is circumstantial evidence, and...? There were options that would have been far more convincing to the audience - involving Trixie and playing on Chloe's instincts as a mother, for example. S4 was a tight season with only 10 episodes, but the issue was never extra time. It was what we were shown in the scenes that we got. Which is exactly the problem we have with S6. So let's move on to three things about that finale, shall we? 1. Lucifer and Chloe had a choice. Lucifer chooses his daughter's wishes over his own desire to stay on Earth with Chloe and raise her. A beautiful and poetic parental sacrifice... or it would have been, if not for the way it was handled. How to make it seem like your character had a choice? Don't have them make it under duress. Here's Lucifer's side of that conversation with Rory: "Rory, no! I'll miss your childhood. I'll miss your life! Please... No. Please don't do this. Don't. I can't! Don't MAKE ME do this. I can't." Do they need to show how desperately Lucifer doesn't want to leave them? Yes. But having him beg her not to make him is entirely the wrong way to go about it if you want the audience to come away with the impression he had any choice in the matter. By including those two words, they left the fandom completely divided on this issue. (And I mean that literally - there was a poll on Twitter which came out 50/50.) And then there's the fact they give Chloe no agency whatsoever. She merely stands there while Rory and Lucifer (if you go with the view that he had a choice) decide her future for her. The rest of her human life is considered nothing more than a blip, without any thought to how time is perceived by mortals. One desperate look at Chloe from Lucifer, and one nod in return from her, would have included her in the conversation. Instead, she is left out of the equation entirely, as though it's assumed that because she's a mother, her choice is automatic. There is definitely an argument to be made that they could have changed their minds afterwards. But Rory knew what she was doing when she had Lucifer give his word. We've only seen Lucifer break his word once, and that was when he thought he was putting Chloe in danger. This time, by breaking it, he thinks he would be putting the Rory he knows in danger of disappearing. Which leads me on to... 2. Rory doesn't want to change I think we can all understand this. How many of us would want to be erased? Sure, I can give you reasons aplenty as to why I think Rory should have sacrificed herself, but that's not the point of this post. The point is, the reason Lucifer and Chloe do as she asks is because she wants to stay as she is. But the writers make that difficult for some parts of the fandom to understand, because outside of being an angsty teenager, her character is barely established at all. Here's what we know about Rory: 1. She's older than she looks. Despite being written as an angry 15 year old, she's actually older than 20. It's not until the end of the show that it's revealed she's between 40-50 years old. 2. She likes her cool wings, because they remind her of her mom. 3. She loves and idolises her mom. 4. She is angry at and hates Lucifer enough that she self-actualised time travel to come back and kill him. His disappearance "ruined her life."

So why should the audience care about her enough to prioritise her wishes over Chloe and Lucifer's happiness? She's a brand new character, and we know almost nothing about her. She's 50 years old. What kind of life does she have? Does she have a career, a partner, passions, hobbies, other than liking to drive her dad's car really fast? Instead of making it clear why Rory doesn't want to change, the writers are more successful in making it seem like she has a childhood she would want to change, especially after seeing how happy her mom is with Lucifer. This isn't helped by the focus not being on Rory changing, and far more on her desire for Lucifer to help souls in Hell (more on this later). She gets one throwaway line on the subject: "That you won't change me!" I won't lie, the scene is so hectic that I actually missed it the first time around. It wasn't until later, by reading interviews, that I realised this was supposed to be the main motivation for the decision. Finally, it's made clear in the season that Rory doesn't know how time travel works. In one moment, she can't reveal the future in case anything changes. In the next, she’s not only telling people what happens, but also saying the future is set and nothing can be changed.

So when Rory says about her changing, she actually has no idea if that will be the case. Lucifer is already set in a universe where if reality is changed, the core of people remains the same. As was stated in the AU episode, they make the same choices, have the same passions. The audience knows this, and it makes the idea harder to swallow. 3. Lucifer wouldn't have realised his calling without Rory travelling back in time If Rory never travels back, then she never brings Dan to Earth, giving Lucifer a chance to unintentionally help him to Heaven. He also never helps Rory, meaning he never reaches the conclusion that he wants to help free souls of their guilt. Except... by the end of episode 3, the writers already have Lucifer halfway there. Hell, the beginning is established at the end of season 5, with Lucifer talking about how unjust the situation is. He helps Mr. SOB get to Heaven by taking him to the source of his guilt. He is actively trying to find a way to help Dan when we kick off season 6. By episode 3, he is investigating the loop of Jimmy Barnes to try and find a way to help him. Has he succeeded yet? No. But he is working his way towards it, and it does his character an injustice to say that he wouldn't have gotten there without Rory. All it would have taken was one conversation with Maze for him to realise why putting Dan in his own kind of purgatory wasn't working. Or further therapy and discussion on the subject with Linda. There are many, many ways for him to get there, with just a little help. In order to sell the idea that the loop has to happen, and that Rory has to be there for him to understand his calling, she needed to be far more instrumental in the process. In conclusion: Do I like the end of S6? No, I think anyone who follows my Twitter account already knows that. But perhaps I could have accepted it more if what they were trying to achieve was presented more effectively. A clear choice made by a parent to save the future child they have fallen in love with, who in return is sacrificing a childhood where she could have been raised by both her parents, so that her father can help other people. But that's not what we got, and it's one of the reasons the fandom will forever be at odds over it.

[awfullyqueerwriter]

I just finished season 6, and I really hated it- mostly just that last half of the last episode. Because what would have been good is if Lucifer learned from his other self’s mistakes. If he had learned that leaving forever wasn’t going to work. The writers failed to give a meaningful reason why Lucifer couldn’t just use it as a job like any other- whose to say he couldn’t just work from 9 to 5 helping souls, and then spend the rest of the time with his family.

Also, given that they established that hell was, well, hell for him, and that he hates any time spent there, it really reads as Rory- a new character who I don’t have the same emotional conection with- forcing Lucifer into hell for all eternity, just because... I watched it five minutes ago and I’m coming up empty. She doesn’t want to not exist? 

One last thing- the fact they didn’t establish how time travel works absolutely ruined all emotions of the last episode. I think it was purposeful? Like, the characters not knowing would have made the free will vs. fate debate more heated? Except they acted like they did know how it worked, but constantly flipped between if the timestream was changable or not.

The season was perfectly good, right up until the end, and that will never not frusterate me.

[notonelineff]

Personally I suspect the reason the characters don't know how time travel works is because the writers don't know how time travel works. Which is pretty fundamental when you're writing a story about time travel. Ildy actually says in an interview that it 'breaks her head.'

But we do know what their intention was, and that's for it to be a closed loop paradox. Everything that's already happened will happen again. "Inevitable and unbreakable" as Rory says, in amongst her various flip flopping between how time travel works.

What they don't seem to realise is, that completely removes any possibility of free will. Rory asks Lucifer to abandon her and Chloe to emotionally traumatise her because she doesn't want to change from the person she is. But she's only the person she is because Lucifer abandons her and Chloe emotionally traumatises her. The characters are put in the same situation on a continuous loop which means they make the same 'choices' again and again and again.

But Rory's 'choice', as you said, doesn't just affect her, even though she seems to think it does. ("My life, my choices.") Not only does she send her father to Hell, a place they remind us is terribly lonely, but she also condemns her mother to the life she's already seen her have. Alone, and having to struggle to cope with everything by herself as Rory cries and rages at her.

She watches how happy she is with Lucifer ("I want to remember you like this.") and tears it all away from her anyway. She hears her sister say that she loves Lucifer, and then sends him away, despite the fact she's only just lost her dad.

The writers depended heavily on the fact that everyone would love Rory simply because she's Deckerstar's daughter, while also making her extremely unlikeable for most of the season. And for a lot of people, it worked.

For the rest of us, it really, really, didn't.

[bam1987tv]

• X-Men is about civil rights. If you didn’t get that, you didn’t get X-Men.

• Black Panther is about civil rights. If you didn’t get that, you didn’t get Black Panther.

• Captain America literally fought nazis. He is the embodiment of fighting the alt-right. If you didn’t get that, you didn’t get Captain America.

• The Empire in Star Wars is fascist. The Rebel alliance are Anti-Fascist. If you didn’t get that, you didn’t get Star Wars.

• Doctor Who was about an alien fighting for all of humanity in spite of totalitarian regimes. If you don’t get that, you don’t get Doctor Who.

• The Punisher isn’t meant to be a role model for police or armed forces. So much so that the writers of The Punisher made him actively speak out against it in a comic. If you didn’t get that, you didn’t get The Punisher.

• Deadpool is queer. He’s pansexual. Fact. If you didn’t get that you didn’t get Deadpool.

• Star Trek is about equality for all genders, races and sexualities. As early as the mid-60s it was taking a pro-choice stance and defending women’s right to choose. One of its clearest themes is accepting different cultures and appearances and working together for peace. (It’s also anti-capitalist and pro-vegan). If you didn’t get that, you didn’t get Star Trek.

• Superman and Wonder Woman (and a whole host of other superheroes) are immigrants. The stance of those comics is pro-immigration and pro-equality and acceptance. If you didn’t get that, you didn’t get Superman or Wonder Woman.

• Stan Lee said, “Racism and bigotry are among the deadliest social ills plaguing the world today.” If you’re bigoted or racist, you didn’t get any of the characters Stan Lee created.

• The stories we grew up with all taught us to value other people and cultures and to treasure the differences between us. Only villains were xenophobic, or sexist, or racist, or totalitarian. I can’t understand how anyone can have missed that.

• If you’re upset that there’s a black Spider-Man, or a black Captain America, or a female Thor, or that Ms. Marvel is Muslim, or that Captain Marvel was pro-feminism or any of the other things right-wing “fans” say is “stealing their childhood” - you never got it in the first place. The things you claim are now “pandering to the lefties” were never on your side, to begin with.

If you consider yourself a fan of these things, but you still think the LGBTQ+ community is too “in your face”, or have a problem with Black Lives Matter, or want to “take the country back from immigrants”, then you’re not really a fan at all.

Geek culture isn’t suddenly left-wing… it always was. You just grew up to be intolerant. You became the villain in the stories you used to love.

***Not my words but still true***

[notonelineff]

It’s not until hours later that she looks at him, really looks at him. It was all too easy to get caught up in the joy of their reunion, in the touch of his skin, the feel of his lips, in the sensation of finally being home as he held her in his arms.

But now that they’re here, his head on her lap as he curls up against her on the couch, humming contentedly as she cards her fingers through his hair, that she truly sees it. Sees the scars on his soul, wounds long since healed, but not without leaving a mark. An ache, a reminder of all that he lost. With every touch of her hand, she can almost feel the pain ebb away, but she knows in her heart that even she can never make it vanish completely.

No one can. That time, their time, is lost forever. There is only the future now, in this place she has yet to fully know.

“So, when do I get the grand tour?” she says lightly, not wanting to break this bubble they’ve created, but unable to hold off her curiosity any longer.

It’s been so long since she was last here, and even then, it’s a memory she tried her best to suppress. The thought of him here, alone… it was too much to bear. Her dreams of Hell were bad enough; letting it occupy her waking mind as well was out of the question. Not when she had two daughters to raise, two daughters to be strong for.

She couldn’t allow herself to break.

But hundreds of thousands, if not millions of years have passed since then. There must have been changes, changes that only a King of Hell could make. She wants to see it all, to know it all, to hear of the life Lucifer has created for himself without her. A life that she would now be part of, for eternity.

Lucifer chuckles against her stomach, a sound she’s sorely missed. “This is pretty much it, darling. Unless you’d like a spin up to the throne? I take it you haven’t developed a fear of heights over the years. It’s not for the faint of heart, that one. Just ask poor Rodrick in cell 1,831,020,143.”

Her breath catches in her throat. “What do you mean, this is it? Surely you have a home to go to, a palace, something?”

He slowly lifts his head, shifting onto his side until he’s propped up on one elbow to look at her. His forehead creases, the happiness in his eyes dimming a little as he searches her face for something unknown. “Why would I need any of that?” he asks slowly, as though this is a fact of life she should already understand. “It’s not as if I require sleep down here, and even if I do feel the urge, Linda had the foresight to purchase a rather comfortable sofa bed during our prior endeavours.”

He waggles his eyebrows at her, as if the reminder that he once traded sex for therapy is supposed to amuse her somehow. For a moment, he’s the Lucifer of old, a joke or a quip always at the tip of his tongue. But she knows him well enough to remember that more than often, he’s hiding something underneath. And when she looks at him again, this newfound knowledge under her belt, she can see it plain as day.

It’s in his smile, the one that doesn’t always reach his eyes unless he’s meeting her own, slipping just the tiniest bit whenever his attention is drawn away. It’s in the curl of his hair, that slight imperfection that he would never have allowed before, a minor dishelvement that speaks of a lack of time and care. And more than that, it’s in his face, in the exhaustion she can see lurking just below the surface.

He’s trying, pushing through, for her. For them. She can’t help the dread that rolls in her stomach as she wonders how he’s been living this way.

But she soon gets her answer.

“The work is here, love. I have to stay. There’s so many, and they never stop arriving. They needed me, and until now… I needed them. The work… it stopped me from thinking, from remembering. I know you understand that.”

She does. And she hates it.

[notonelineff]

Sometimes I like to think about how if Lucifer season 6 was written as fanfiction, readers would have been all over it in the comments saying how out of character it was and how that would never happen.

[twelvsbian]

doctor who, except donna noble gets to say fuck

( inspired by this & this post )

[notonelineff]

Imagine you want your child to grow up to be a therapist.

In order to do that though, you decide they need to experience some of the hardships their future patients have, in order to assist them successfully. They must fall, and then learn to rise again, before helping others do the same.

So when they become a teenager, you kick them out of the house. Not onto the streets, but into a shelter you built below ground in your backyard. It is dark and desolate, devoid of hope, life, and even music. There, they are assigned a task, which they repeatedly do, in the hope of pleasing you.

Neither you, nor their siblings, speak to them again until they've spent the majority of their life down there. The only contact they have with their family is with one brother, who takes it upon themself to force them back into the basement whenever they manage to escape.

You're aware of this, but you do nothing. You're also aware when your child is distraught, despairing at a parent who refuses to acknowledge them. You're aware that most of their siblings hate them, and that everyone who knew or has even heard of them does too. You're aware when they're forced to kill their brother after they attack them, you're aware when they start to self-mutilate thinking they can escape your control, and you're aware when they start to hate themselves so much that they think they're a monster, incapable of love. And still, you do nothing. You always do nothing.

Not until the day you decide they're ready to leave, at which point you introduce them to someone who will guide them towards them being the therapist you always wanted them to be. Eventually, they do, but it means leaving that guide, the woman they fell in love with, and their unborn child, devastating them once again.

Still, they find happiness in the work, and help a great amount of people, even though they have to return to and work out of that very same shelter they grew up in. Just like you always planned.

Was it worth it? Are you a good parent?

Because as far as the writers of Lucifer are considered, you are. Your child is Lucifer, and you are God. Which makes the situation even worse, because that shelter is Hell, that job is torture, and that self-hatred physically manifests in a monsterous appearance.

But hey, it was all for a reason.

And traumatising your child is acceptable if you think it's the best thing for them.

[sanoiro]

I believe that outlook is not correct. I will not go over the my perception is right but that Lucifer was about choices and finding a life course through them. 

You have a child that you know will be the happiest in a certain place. You see them struggle to dominate the house in their quest and see the family breaking apart as that child is lost. At that moment whether you keep them in the house or send them away will have the same result. So in hopes they will find their way you send them to the place where you see the being the happiest and well for good. 

The first son will inherit the estate, the second will go to the military and the third will take over the estate’s parish. You do not want your  second son to be killed but with the chances of his birth and education they might get a fortune, a title, a estate of their own. You do not want your son to be in solitude with God -necessarily- but in case they cannot thrive outside their privileged lifestyle, you give them a way to survive but also help the rest of the family. 

In Lucifer’s case God knew what was going to happen. However as he said in 3x26, it’s all about choices. Sooner or later by sending Lucifer to Hell, he would have met Chloe. Lucifer appeared to be unable to find his way without Chloe and eventually Rory. He had million of years to make the choice that would have given him his purpose. There was though no initiative. 

No matter how many times we want to go through Dad’s actions or the writer’s ability to craft a story, as individuals we get through life through luck, chances and choices. Lucifer had all three. In 6x10 he picked to go to Hell, wait for Chloe there, not see his child grow up for what he believed would not interfere with Rory as the person he got to know as well as what it meant for what he sought for a very, very, very long time. 

I’m sure that like 3x26 suggests there is a universe of multiverses of different choices, something that we are even aware in real life as well according to certain theories. That means that Lucifer could have taken several other choices, which would have led to several other outcomes. Make no mistake though, just because something can happen differently it does not mean it can happen better or lead to a joyous end.  It just means that we have a variety of decisions to make but unfortunately no succession of choices will always be good. That  can be explained by statistics when it comes to the throw of the dice, the hand you get from a 52 deck or even a flip of a coin. 

Therefore no it was not tragic, Lucifer would have refused the very word as he distastes goats. It had a painful salty aftertaste but as they say salt is the main ingredient of life so, it’s good that it was a story about life before and after death. 

[notonelineff]

- God didn't send Lucifer to where he thought he would be happiest. He sent him to Hell. Yes, he may have been 'happy' eventually, but not before being put through the trauma of that for most of his existence.

- Being sent to the military is not the equivalent of being sent to Hell as shown in the show. (Some soldiers may disagree with this, but many others wouldn't.)

- God's 'doing the best for the family' results in two of his children being killed.

- Lucifer only didn't 'find his way' towards completing God's plan, and the purpose God decided on. Being allowed to continue on his own path would have been free will. Inside he puts Chloe in his path, designed to intrigue him and influence him otherwise.

- Which leads me on to the fact Lucifer didn't meet Chloe because he went to Hell. He met her because God put interfered. Otherwise, she wouldn't have even existed.

- Lucifer didn't seek a purpose for 'a very, very, very long time'. It was established he wanted a calling two episodes before the end. He wanted a family, a home. He had both on Earth, and lost both. Eventually he got his family back, but only by, again, suffering an unimaginable pain for who knows how many thousands of years. Pain God's plan put him through.

- Lucifer has no free will, by the very nature of a fixed time loop. He is put in a situation where he always makes the same 'choice' because of who he is.

My post is about God being a bad parent. Apart from wanting the best for their kid (emphasis on wanting, not deciding on) this is not good parenting. This is choosing to traumatise your child, and the fact that the show finishing by framing this as a positive thing is shocking to me.

[notonelineff]

Imagine you want your child to grow up to be a therapist.

In order to do that though, you decide they need to experience some of the hardships their future patients have, in order to assist them successfully. They must fall, and then learn to rise again, before helping others do the same.

So when they become a teenager, you kick them out of the house. Not onto the streets, but into a shelter you built below ground in your backyard. It is dark and desolate, devoid of hope, life, and even music. There, they are assigned a task, which they repeatedly do, in the hope of pleasing you.

Neither you, nor their siblings, speak to them again until they've spent the majority of their life down there. The only contact they have with their family is with one brother, who takes it upon themself to force them back into the basement whenever they manage to escape.

You're aware of this, but you do nothing. You're also aware when your child is distraught, despairing at a parent who refuses to acknowledge them. You're aware that most of their siblings hate them, and that everyone who knew or has even heard of them does too. You're aware when they're forced to kill their brother after they attack them, you're aware when they start to self-mutilate thinking they can escape your control, and you're aware when they start to hate themselves so much that they think they're a monster, incapable of love. And still, you do nothing. You always do nothing.

Not until the day you decide they're ready to leave, at which point you introduce them to someone who will guide them towards them being the therapist you always wanted them to be. Eventually, they do, but it means leaving that guide, the woman they fell in love with, and their unborn child, devastating them once again.

Still, they find happiness in the work, and help a great amount of people, even though they have to return to and work out of that very same shelter they grew up in. Just like you always planned.

Was it worth it? Are you a good parent?

Because as far as the writers of Lucifer are concerned, you are. Your child is Lucifer, and you are God. Which makes the situation even worse, because that shelter is Hell, that job is torture, and that self-hatred physically manifests in a monsterous appearance.

But hey, it was all for a reason.

And traumatising your child is acceptable if you think it's the best thing for them.

[thewillowbends]

I keep seeing this argument that Deckerstar is a bad pairing. It really wasn't. It was, in fact, extremely organically done up through the Fox era. Understand that it's not that Chloe and Lucifer's relationship wasn't developed past S2. It develops through S3 just fine. A key part of the narrative is that they're regressing and sabotaging themselves precisely because Lucifer isn't taking his own advice to his mother that they can only move forward not back. Deckerstar stagnates and starts to crumble in S3 because they won't let it move forward, and Lucifer realizes he has to take the leap at the end and tell her the truth so they can move forward together. So through S1-3, Deckerstar is fine. Well developed, even.

The Netflix era is where it all goes to shit, and it does for two major reasons, which I go into below the cut:

1.) Misogyny. I cannot stress how ridiculously sexist the Netflix era is. Joe and Ildy hate women. They don't realize they hate women, but they do. It infiltrates every part of the Netflix era narrative.

Up until S4, Chloe is the straight man to Lucifer's more manic behavior, but she is NOT a flat character by any means. Her acting and characterization is more subtle, but it is very complex. In fact, we know more about details about her character's backstory than we do his since the show never bothered to touch what actually happened with the rebellion. I'm not joking when I say I used to recommend this series precisely because of the female characters: not only were they well done, but they weren't young, sexy twenty-somethings. They were mature women in their thirties with lots of baggage and emotional complexity.

From S4 onward, the dive in the quality of the female characters is staggering. Linda becomes a mother and that's all she wrote, y'all. It subsumes the majority of her character's plot purpose. The therapy scenes dive in quality along with it. She goes from being one of the most interesting side characters to just...a terrible friend and therapist who serves little real plot purpose. (For that matter, TWO women get pregnant in the Netflix era, and not a single fucking moment is spent with them thinking over the choice to have this baby or how it would impact their lives, even though these are both women in their forties with difficult life situations that would make babies extremely inconvenient. It's just automatic that they want them because lol women made 4 making baby, right? Yet the two father have entire episodes dedicated to their fears and anxieties over it. Unbelievable.)

Ella was always boring and fairly flat (which is fine - she's a side character, they're supposed to be less developed!), but she finally got interesting in S5A only to be given an extremely gross storyline where her love of bad boys accidentally leads her date to a serial killer, where we then get to watch her internalize that guilt and horror in S5B instead of grappling with it meaningfully. S6's solution to this is to let her meet the man she "needs" to treat her right. Also gross. (At least she got to grapple with it somewhat, I guess. You know who also dated and was manipulated by a serial killer but never got any of her pathos over it examined? THE LEAD FUCKING FEMALE CHARACTER.)

Maze is just....completely fucking off the rails. Her character is abrasive and abusive but never has any meaningful repercussions for any of it but is then framed as badass and assertive. Punching people doesn't make her a strong woman. She's just a violent asshole who expecting everybody to serve her emotional needs while overlooking theirs.

Goddess goes from having one of the most complex, fascinating, and moving antagonist arcs in the whole series in S2 to showing up in S5B just so she can take her abusive husband back. In other circumstances, this would be fine because they're gods and human rules, power dynamics, and morals don't need to apply, but compounded with all of the other misogyny around it, it's awful.

Eve is...holy shit. I cannot even begin to start with how clearly she was only ever designed to be a Deckerstar cockblock who shoves Chloe out of the colead role so they don't have to develop her. She's great in S4 right up until they no longer need her, and than she just goes completely off the rails. They literally make her the crazy, hysterical ex girlfriend wrecking Lucifer's life. When she showed up in 5B, I nearly had a fucking aneurysm, y'all. Imagine having such a great character and completely fucking wasting her the way they did. Moreover, imagine sticking her in an f/f pairing that had so much incredible potential to be interesting but which was just thrown together because lmao, bisexual people just be like that, right? Our love lives don't require development or complexity. (Or sex! Because you can bet that once these women are in romantic, loving, monogamous relationships, their sexual desires barely exist. It's all tepid kisses and sultry jokes but passion goes out the door, apparently. Bis and gays can marry, y'all, but we apparently can't fuck. Oh, and we definitely got to Hell at the end of the day, too!)

Oh, but I can imagine wasting her because the most wasted female character of them is Chloe Decker, the literal fucking colead. What goes wrong in the Netflix era is a lengthy list of issues, but perhaps the biggest one I see people skimming over is that they never bothered to give their female colead an actual character arc. After S3, Chloe stops being a person. She's just a thing to move around on the chess board for Lucifer's character. Her character background is routinely gutted to serve the plots of other characters, particularly male characters, usually in the pursuit of ANGST. We spent three seasons watching Chloe deal with things in a fairly logical, rational manner, even when she was scared or didn't understand things. In S4, we toss that all away because having Chloe turn into a hysterical women who runs off to another fucking continent so we can have some dumb betrayal plot that splits Deckerstar apart AGAIN for an entire season and so we can shove Chloe's storyline aside so they don't have to tackle the miracle reveal. S5A manages to be a brief, shining moment where my bad bitch S1 Chloe returns, but then right back into S5B we're shoving her into a passive role where she exists to be sad about Lucifer and....nothing fucking else. S6 is...I cannot even begin fam. They gut her character's history of having her father literally murdered and her daughter kidnapped by a corrupt cop so they can prop up Amenadiel's story by making her the stupid white woman who doesn't understand racism and thinks the system is perfect.

SHE WAS MARRIED TO A LATINO MESTIZO MAN. HER DAUGHTER IS A MESTIZO LATINA GIRL. IN WHAT FUCKING REALITY WOULD SHE NOT KNOW WHAT RACISM IS? SHE LITERALLY HELPED LUCIFER AND AMENADIEL IN TWO DIFFERENT SEASONS GET A YOUNG BLACK MAN OFF UNFAIR CHARGES. IN WHAT REALITY DID CHLOE DECKER EVER FUCKING THINK THE SYSTEM WASN'T FLAWED? SHE'S LITERALLY A VICTIM OF POLICE CORRUPTION. JESUS CHRIST. IT MAKES ME SO ANGRY.

And then there's...God, so much else in S6 that's just jaw droppingly sexist, the kind that's almost shocking on television in the year 2021. She can't have the piece of the blade because power makes her going fucking insane, apparently. She finds out she's going to be a mother in episode 5 but literally doesn't bother checking that she's pregnant until four episodes later??? Her daughter from her previous marriage stops mattering as much as the one she has with Lucifer?? What?? She suffers through six seasons of obstacle to be with Lucifer, gets a whole six months with him, and then she spends the rest of her human life alone, raising two children by herself, having to lie and traumatize her children to maintain some stupid goddamn time loop. (How insulting to stay at home and single parents to act as though the work they do every day isn't extremely difficult, time consuming, and draining.)

No big deal, though, guys, because life is just a blip you see! The writers told us so! (We won't get into how grossly evangelist that thinking is, not to mention thematically contradictory - if life is a blip, why the fuck is it determining human eternity?? Why does fixing racism or other damaged human systems matter??) Because women literally exist just to suffer for the men to do what they need to in this story, apparently. Their feelings and desires don't matter. Chloe watches her daughter fade away in 6x10 telling Lucifer to abandon her and apparently has not one word to say edgewise. It's all good!

One final note on the miracle reveal...let this go down as the single most outrageously wasted thing I've ever seen introduced in a show. You literally have a character who is a gift from God, and that's what you come up with? Literally, thousands of options to play around with why she was put there, abilities and purpose that could have linked her arc to Lucifer's to develop alongside his to prop up the narrative...and they blew it. They had THREE SEASONS to come up with something interesting, and they just don't. It's just mindblowing to me. I cannot imagine being that incompetent as a writer.

But conclusion: they didn't view Chloe as a person the way they did Lucifer. They didn't see her story as valuable as his, so they never bothered creating an arc. The problem is that she is the COLEAD OF THE NARRATIVE and a huge part of Lucifer's life, so by crashing her narrative, they also crashed his, because the two are intertwined.

2.) The writers saw Deckerstar not as key part of the narrative that drove Lucifer's character development and propped up a key part of the found family theme but as a way to consistently frustrate the audience and keep them engaged by constantly keeping them waiting for the payoff that never came.

Think of all the great moments Lucifer and Chloe have with other partners that they never have with each other. Think of all the great couples moments that get handed over to other, less important couples in the show.

Eve gets the devil face kiss with Lucifer. Chloe never gets anything like this with him.

Marcus gets Chloe's an emotional confession about the pain of her father's death. She never even gets to discuss this with Lucifer after.

Eve (and lots of other men and women) gets to have fun, kinky sex with Lucifer. Chloe has passionate, public sex with Pierce. Lucifer and Chloe never do either of these things together. They're the lead couple, and they get a whole two barely PG-13 sex scenes, one of which canonically leads to pregnancy.

Eve and Maze get a big wedding scene. Amenadiel gets to commute and be with his family and see them grow. Lucifer and Chloe get neither of these things.

Trixie gets to talk about her mother being happy with Pierce in S3. She has a big, powerful family moment with Lucifer and Eve in S4. In S5B, Lucifer doesn't hold Trixie and Chloe in their moment of grief over Dan's death, while other characters openly embrace in the background. Instead, Deckerstar has two fights across two episodes instead of finding comfort with each other. In fact, all of the great little family moments we expected with TRIXIE after S5? Went to Rory instead. Trixie gets tossed to the side.

Rory's sole purpose in the narrative, just like Eve, is to split Deckerstar up.

The thing that should kill you is that they did this on purpose. They told us they did. Joe openly said they wanted to frustrate fans. They basically damaged their own story and found family narrative, stripping away all the emotional intimacy from S5B and S6 that would have propped up the underlying themes in order to make fans want more by giving them nothing. For six seasons, we waited to see Deckerstar get together and be happy together...and we couldn't even have that. They never get a fucking break. Amenadiel gets handed the story and rewards of a narrative that Lucifer did all the work to receive. In the end, Deckerstar literally exists just to generate angst. We were asked to invest and then never got paid the dividend of that investment.

tl;dr it's not that Deckerstar is a bad pairing. It's that the writers actively sabotaged it by being sexist idiots with no respect for their lead characters' narrative. They went for the laziest, most superficial route possible to drum up drama and pretend it was deep. Great job, guys! You gave D&D a run for their money for fucking up the landing, that's for sure.