becca;

rebecca, you don't have to put on that red light.

[formerlyellie-deactivated201509]

Good! I’ve been looking at cocktail making tutorials on Pinterest, so it’s sure to be amazing. 

[notroxanne-blog]

Pintrest? Man, I really am in suburbia now.

[goodbyebree-blog]

I might have been spoiled, but I did have to wash my hands from time to time. Of course I know what a sink is, Becca. I know what a dishwasher is, too, but as far as using it? I don’t have a clue. 

[notroxanne-blog]

Well don’t get snappy, I’ve never met a girl like you before. Okay, well, most of the stuff is just knowing how to push buttons. Which like, is pretty difficult even for someone like me, because all fuckin’ appliances are sort of different.

[oncebrock-blog-blog]

Brock shook his head and shifted where he sat. “Er, no, not yet. I don’t really know where to start.”

[notroxanne-blog]

“I’m more just dreading actually working. This whole thing’s like a vacation, y’know? But whatever, guess I gotta be a functioning member of society eventually. We should go hunting together. Uh-- job, not animal.”

[formerlyellie-deactivated201509]

I’ve been thinking, considering I spent a bomb at Ikea today, that Robert and I should really throw a house warming party. There’ll be alcohol and brownies. Who’s in?

[notroxanne-blog]

You had me at alcohol.

[theartistformerlyknownasterra]

Wise words, chick. I suppose I cold lend my lucky socks, just this once.

[notroxanne-blog]

Plenty where that comes from. You’re a literal life saver. I’ll put in a good word for you with the whatever-God when I see him.

[goodbyebree-blog]

Well, it doesn’t really matter now, does it? I don’t think I’m going back to my old life anytime soon, so I might as well make the best of this one. So, yes, a washing lesson might be nice. Perhaps a lesson on most of the basic appliances, actually, because I… am very lost.

[notroxanne-blog]

You’re right. The past is the past, we’re all in the same boat now. Uh...yeah. You know what like, a sink is, right? But the dishwasher, not so much? Just trying to gauge where I’d need to start.

[oncebrock-blog-blog]

Brock reached up and scratched his head. It was weird, going from having no siblings to having two ‘supposed’ siblings. He looked down at his bowl of cereal and nodded. “Yeah, um, we have some. Help yourself.”

[notroxanne-blog]

“Great,” Roxy said, already pulling it out of the fridge, then turning around to eye him. “What’re you up to today? You got a job yet, because I sure as fuck don’t.”

[goodbyebree-blog]

I think that might help me fit in around here, too. I don’t know anything about running a household, Becca. I don’t even know how to use a washer. It’s almost pathetic.

[notroxanne-blog]

It sure the fuck is. I mean, uh, just surprising. Didn’t realize there were people out there living such nice lives while I’m-- whatever, doesn’t matter. You want a washing lesson, too? It’s not hard, you just toss stuff in, really. But still, the buttons can fuck you up. And separating colors, even though I think that’s a load of bullshit, usually.

[theartistformerlyknownasterra]

Never said it would be easy. As a matter of fact, I do.

[notroxanne-blog]

Nothing worth it ever is. Great, mind if I steal them away for the aforementioned ritual?

[theartistformerlyknownasterra]

Glad you asked. You have to sacrifice a virgin on days ending with a ‘Y’, for a whole week, to the spirit Resumeus Catastrophicus so he doesn’t put any bad juju on your resume. Also only wear orange socks the day you turn in your application. Other than that, I think you’re set. Good luck, and may the odds be ever in your favor.

[notroxanne-blog]

Seven virgins? I don’t even know one. I don’t know, this seems like an assload of work...but I guess it’s worth it. Thanks for imparting your wisdom onto me. Got any orange socks I could borrow, by any chance?

[pipercorden-blog]

Anything for you, my darling. You want me to surprise you?

[notroxanne-blog]

You know what I like.

[pipercorden-blog]

“This is what I have to deal with? And here I was hoping you might be good in the kitchen.”

[notroxanne-blog]

“Wowww, you must be fun at parties. What makes you think I can’t cook? I just fuckin’ like peanut butter. Do you not?”

[goodbyebree-blog]

I’m sorry. I’m trying, I promise. I’ll try your mac n cheese, if it helps. 

[notroxanne-blog]

Relax, relax. I’m doing this for you. You’ll taste it and thank me, I promise. Plus then you can tell all the other normal people that you have a favorite food that, y’know, costs less than 50 bucks at a fancy restaurant.

[hewhodoesnotknow]

Oh there’s this coffee shop a few blocks away. They pay pretty decent until I go back to school in the fall.

[notroxanne-blog]

Sounds like a real fun time. Are they hiring more people? I bet I could whip up a latte or whatever.

[oncebrock-blog-blog]

Brock stared into his bowl of cereal and jolted when he heard someone walk into the room. “Sorry, sorry,” he muttered. “I’ll uh… go.”

[oncebrock-blog-blog]

[notroxanne-blog]

“Hey, don’t worry, I’m the one that should be sorry...bro,” Roxy smirked, heading straight to the fridge. “Didn’t think anyone was home, so I let myself in, which I guess is rude. Just wanted to see if you had any milk.” 

[goodbyebree-blog]

Lobster would suffice, too.

[notroxanne-blog]

Great, I’ll add it to the list. 

[theartistformerlyknownasterra]

Well, hit up Craigslist and pray to the employment deities, my friend.

[notroxanne-blog]

Are there any rituals I should be aware of?