I am with you my friend. Work has been rough lately, right? Leaving it at the hospital isnât always possible. It stays with you, keeps you up at night, as you replay âwhat ifsâ and âI should haves.â
Youâre dreading the next time you have to walk into that hospital. Youâre tired of getting the sickest patients, or the ones with the angriest families. Because youâre great at your job and youâre nice, you get the difficult assignments. Part of you wishes you could quit caring and then maybe youâd have the easy patients for a change, then you could sit there on your phone, laughing with the rest of the group. But, you wonât do that, because youâd have to live knowing you didnât do your best and that would feel worse than this.
Youâre a good coworker. You are the one that helps everybody, the one other nurses get excited to see as a neighbor. Even when itâs 6 hours into your shift, you havenât sat down, and you have hours of charting to do, when that coworker asks something of you, you say âYes,â without hesitation. Do not change that either. Itâs worth it to be the one the baby nurse goes to, just to give her a bit of confidence. Itâs worth it to help that mama nurse and hear some of her wisdom.
Maybe this job has broken your heart lately, like it has mine. Today was the first time I set foot into bed eight since she died in there one week week ago. Â I entered the room and the flashback of her husband crying at the bedside, her laying there unresponsive, knocked the breath from my lungs. I paused, coming back to reality, before I could address the new patient in front of me. Caring hurts sometimes, but donât give up you sense of empathy and compassion.
Itâs hard to find people at home to listen, to explain the horrors you went through. Even when you donât want to talk about it, what you saw at work is still playing in your mind. Your family doesnât really understand, or they donât want to hear gory details of someone elseâs tragedy. They do not understand that itâs your tragedy too.
I hope you have some good days at work, sweet nurse. I hope you take care of yourself at home. I hope youâre reminded in little ways why you do this job.
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