It’s been a very long time since I needed to vent like this, but I can feel my hope in the future slipping away. I’m not the most intelligent person in the world, and trying to cope with stupidity that is out of your control, and an undying loneliness that follows you everywhere is becoming difficult as college continues. I am a living contradiction, I love people, and yet very, very, very few people seem to relate to me, and as time goes on, I build a wall around myself emotionally as a defense mechanism. I rarely speak two words during college daily, the Shell I’ve put myself in is torture, and it does not help that these sudden shifts in self esteem only serve to justify internally, that my writing, arguably my only talent, is shit and always will be, a reflection of my heart and soul. Hopefully, if I stick it out, things will begin to change, and I won’t put the only person who cares if I’m alive or dead through the pain of losing their best friend. Last resorts are like that.
