SHAY~25 @notwwarrior22 - Tumblr Blog

This verse speaks volumes!

I want to point out what has been speaking to me.

God has been really pointing out the part of this verse that says "Come to me."

The definition of the word Come is: to move or journey to a vicinity with a specified purpose.

When he is saying come to me, he is not speaking about a one time visit. God wants us to come to him over and over and over! It's a everyday moment with him.

The definition speaks for itself when it states that we move toward God. I mean isn't that the goal? To always move toward Him or to journey this life with Him.

He wants us to find rest in Him, how do we find that when our lives are so busy?

It's just like that Jonny Diaz song says. "Breathe, just Breathe."

He is waiting for you to move. So what are you waiting for?

Change

Walking around like fear is my guide

Never letting go because of pride

Fantasy land living in my own world

Not prepared for what is in store

Tired of being consumed by chaos

Laying down my rebel cause

For the One and Only Jesus Christ

Moving mountains parting seas

El Roi the God who sees me

In the word faith is all you need

So what’s it’s gonna be?

You gonna join the fight

Do what is right

No matter what?

I am a soldier who will fight for the the King

He is the greatest phenomenon I’ve ever seen

Trekking threw ups and downs fightin inside of me

He is all I know

I’ll be true to him as he flows

Through my mind and through my soul.

#THATSMYKING

This is my heart.

I am Shay Smith and I am 26 years old. I am an American. To be honest I have been Identifying myself as a christian, but not a devoted one and what I mean, I haven't really lived as a Christian not like I should be. I am speaking as this is present and the past and although I have made major changes in my life, I still know how I have felt and sometimes still feel about it. I gave my life to Christ September 11th 2014, before I was saved, I was an awful person and a great person if that makes any sense. I was someone you would want as a friend and also someone outside of the church who you would eventually learn to hate, but for the past 3 years I have not lived as someone who has claimed Christ. I recently have been thinking about the moment I stopped and I think I have have pin pointed it. When you first make that commitment and you get that Jesus high, and its so easy to let yourself believe that is how its supposed to be from now on, but that is so far from the truth. Its unrealistic to even begin to think that way. So here is more of my story. I come from a Christian family, everyone in my family is and has been involved in church since I was born and I grew up in church my whole life. I at one point in my life refused to believe in God for reasons that are just excuses. I made a "decision" when I was young, but growing up in church I know the lingo and the "walk." I was one of the best fake christians that you would ever meet. I knew the bible and I knew my place, but I was not real. I would hide who I am and would be someone who was not the same person in the church and out of the church. I was what they call a church kid not a Jesus Kid. You are probably thinking what in the world does that even mean and I can tell you it means that I was someone who went to church, but that was the extent of it. I didn’t have faith outside the 4 walls. I wish I could tell you that all this didn’t happen but I have not been the person I was meant to be. I know that and I also know now that I want to be different. All this really made me think about the recent years and why all of this happened. My explanation is that I have been way to consumed with chaos. I allowed myself to let someone else control my life and it was because I confused loyalty with abuse and with being walked all over. and would've done at any point and time anything for this person. It was a very unhealthy relationship and it was destroying my life. I am not blaming the other person because it was 100% my fault, I allowed it and I condoned it, but one day I woke up and said I don't want to do this anymore. So I, being someone who lost herself decided to did something about it. More on that later.

What is a real Christian?

Real is defined as (of a substance or thing) not imitation or artificial; genuine.

Someone genuine...think on this.

I am not your normal person and have never been normal. I am built differently than most and when I do things I put my whole heart into it. I am probably one of the most emotional driven people that you know, but you wouldn't see it. I want to be honest because its so important to have integrity. I can say wholeheartedly I was and have not been honest with myself, but its time for change. Almost 2 years ago I was in a wreck that I was the cause of. I was being reckless and I had someone in the car with me. It happened and since that day May 14th 2017, I have lived as if my life doesn't matter and I have let myself be consumed with anger and pain. The biggest thing that I have allowed for the past 3 years is fear. I have been avoiding and bottling it all down and not dealing with all the junk. Why you ask, mostly because I am human the other is because I have found my reliance in other things that have not mattered.

Its now 12/27/18 and I am a completely different person than who I was. What I mean by that. Is I have found my strength in Christ, I have changed who I love and I have worked so hard. The reason that I am telling you all of this, is because I want you to know if you are in a place that is similar to mine, then its ok. I want you to know that you woul never be to far for Him not to pursue you. The more on that part, I am 1 year and 4 almost 5 months sober and I have rededicated my life to be the best version of myself. I have let go of the fear and the pain. He has my heart forever! I decided that this year, I am going to blow minds in the fact that this year, I am going to devote myself to Christ and I am going to be real~ Nothing is going to to get in my way, He is why I have found my calling and are going to make changes this year 2019! He is the reason why I live. Forever His, Shay

Sometimes you just gotta smile through the ache of your heart.

Warning VERY BLUNT

I used to not believe in God. You know why would I want to believe in something that allows so much pain in the world,who allows little kids to get sick, families to be homeless, bad things happening to good people? and it's a very simple answer. HE DOESN'T, WE DO. Wow right a punch right in the face, that is what I am feeling too. What people fail to realize, we allow alot of things. We made the world what it is with the choices that we've made.

We allow little kids to get sick because we allow chemicals in our foods, in our hygiene products, in our homes that are not only harmful but are proven to be linked to it.

We allow families to be homeless because we would rather have tv, internet, brand name clothes, alcohol, shoes, purses, smart watches, highly expensive things, then to help someone back on their feet and go without for a month.

We allow bad things to happen to good people because we are so self-involved and so looking out for number one that we fail to see what is going on around us to know that people are starving for support, for love, for someone to walk this life with them no matter what the cost.

God is not a self seeking God, God isn't a murder nor is He a controlling God.

God is a God who not only sacrificed himself for us, but He did it with no strings attached. It wasn't a "I will only do this if I for sure have at least 100 followers"He sacrificed himself TO GIVE US A CHOICE TO FOLLOW HIM.

So this season before we spend it with a "Why so I celebrate a birth of some guy who let's all this happen" kind of attitude.

Find out who God is, get to know him more than what you hear society thinks and know that He isn't the problem and no matter what He loves us and cares about us. WE HAVE TO CHOOSE TO BELIEVE THAT HE IS HOPE, BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT HE IS NO MATTER ANYONE ELSE'S OPINION.

Love

In my opinion you should tell people how you feel about them as often as possible because you never know when the last chance of that would be. So write people, let them know who they are too you. Most of all write I love you because for me if I have to have a last that's what I would want it to be. If you want a friendship deeper than the surface then be that person. If you want a romantic relationship that makes you feel like you are flying then be that person. If you want your children to know how you feel like to be their parent then tell them be that person. If you want to make an imprint on this world then be that person. Be the person that you are seeking out because if you are the example then it shows them how to be. Always love, always be compassionate, try to understand people's situations with an open heart. Don't be quick to judge, be slow to speak, but quick to listen and always be willing to be there for someone because it might just save their life.

Moments

One word: choice We make choices based on our instincts on our guts feelings right? What if I told you life is made of choices and every choice matters because it’s effecting everything around you. I made the choice just recently to speed and then when I tried to slow down there was a rock in the road that caused me to lose control of my car which resulted in a very bad wreck that ended with me and my best friend hurt and our car completely totaled. The reason I’m telling you this isn’t for you to say “Well bless your heart.” Or even for anyone to say “That was a stupid choice.” And it’s certainly not for anyone to place blame for what happened! It’s for me to say no one knows when their life will end or when something could happen to alter the life path. We make choices based on who we are and what we believe in that’s just how life works. I made one choice to not make my best friend’s life the priority to not make sure she was safe. and in one moment everything I’ve been struggling with or been dealing with in the passed year didn’t even matter. In one moment I woke up in a completely wrecked car stuck with no way of getting out and looking over to see my best friend gone and every fear that I’ve ever had all went into that moment of looking over and not seeing her sitting next me. Not seeing her beautiful smile and hearing her call me a dork because I was singing some country song to her. Moments are made because they are like you take a picture with your mind so you can remember. I can’t remember what happened completely I can only remember moments. I don’t know everything only what I’ve been told happened to fill in the holes but I do know this I am responsible because I was driving. I made a choice that ended up a huge mistake in my life. I allowed there to be a chance of hurting one of the people I loved most. I’ve been feeling so guilty lately because of everything that’s been going on. Let me tell you it screws you up so bad the trauma from getting hurt heals a hell of a lot faster than the trauma of being in the wreck. I learned a lot through all of this. I learned to cherish the precious moments with the ones you love. I learned that you need to slow down and not just when you are driving but in all aspects of life slow down! Don’t try to speed through life! Because you gain to much speed and you spin out wishing that you would’ve slowed down a little and definitely think about the choices you make before you make them. I made a mistake but I refuse to live in regret or in guilt. It's just about moving forward and moving past.

Silence

© Copyright belongs to Shay Smith I walk these halls in silence And I all see is lost...lost hearts, lost minds, and lost souls. I see sadness, chaos, anger, and darkness. I see a bunch of confused college kids who need You God... but these are the halls I walk in silence I have the the answer to my fellow students questions I have the hope they are looking for, the love they have been wanting most likely their whole lives I walk these halls in silence I have exactly what they need, but fear sets in and I lose my voice and I stay silent. Why can I not speak of what you have done for me, why do I find myself in the state of confusion and chaos. Why do I feel like It's a war out there? why do I feel completely defeated? I walk these halls in silence. Why are my words at the tip of my tongue but I when I go to say what you want me too...nothing comes out. I walk these halls in silence.

I’m that girl

She’s the girl that believes that what comes around goes around. The one that hopes for a better day. The one that won’t give up on you. She’s the girl that’s unlike the rest. The one that spent her days smiling, and her nights crying. She’s the girl that would love to be loved. The one that looks so strong, but feels so weak. She’s the girl that picks herself up every time she falls

- Unknown

beauty comes in the things you enjoy

Music

If I could describe In one word what music means to me it would be "Safe" because in this screwed up world its what pulls you away from the chaos and the fear. When you hear that song that just completely takes you away from that horrible day you are having or just calms you done because your anxiety level is high for that 4 minutes everything in the world is okay, so you put it on repeat until those feeling are gone. music is made up of notes, chords, and melodies but it is so much more than that. Music is the expression when your heart is weary and your soul is speechless, when nothing could express the pain or Joy that you are feeling. Its the door way of saying nothing but at the same time saying everything. There is a song for every way you are feeling and every tear that falls. They say that you are suppose to have go to songs but I have go to playlists because its easier. Music is the Key to every heartache and every Joyful moment, Music is everything.

You've gotta dance like there's nobody watching, Love like you'll never be hurt, Sing like there's nobody listening, And live like it's heaven on earth.

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