Ok, so I really wanna ship Lavenderbudd... but, I dunno, I just feel like theyre using each other for sex (especially her) and I'm so open to being convinced I'm wrong coz I wanna see them as in lov (despite how it turns out).So, can you convince me theyre in love and not just sexing?
Okay, Anon, I will give it my best shot. I mean, for me,it’s so completely obvious that something very special happened when these twointriguing characters, played by these two brilliant actors, came together onscreen. So I have had to put a bit of thought into this response because, likewith falling or not falling for someone in real life, how can you reallyexplain that to someone who doesn’t see/get/feel it? I’m aware that there weresome vaguely discontented rumblings around the LavenderBudd union as the showaired and that a small minority prefer to ship David with Vicky. This is notopinion I identify with or can relate to but I have tried to put myself in thismindset in order to construct a convincing argument in favour of a ship that,in my true opinion, doesn’t just float, it fucking sails the highest seas ofpassion before meeting its untimely end (thanks to writer ineptitude andcowardice). To this end, and in order that I don’t just ramble aimlessly aboutmy love for these two, I’m going to look at some key scenes between David andJulia which show that much more is going on here than pure lust. In doing so, Iwill hopefully win this worthy ship one (or more) new admirers.
So, what else is there to this relationship other than sex?, you ask me. Well,this is one of the big ones, of you ask me. It could have been one of the most progressiveand illuminating themes of the show if Jed had known what to do with it. As itwas, he dropped it like a hot potato and decided to play with explosivesinstead. As I noted in a past post, the show that I started watching was allabout forgiveness. It was about what might happen in the event that two enemiescame face to face. Would they destroy each other in mutual loathing of theiropposing ideologies? Or was there a slim chance that they’d find some commonhumanity to link and unite them? Initially positioned as political enemies,David loathes Julia for the role she played in sending him to war, destroyinghis life, sanity and sense of safety. Though she doesn’t know it (and never gotthe chance to deal with it), David is yet another man in her ranks plotting totake her down, conflicted though he may be about it. In this scene, these twosupposed enemies properly “meet” for the first time – they face each other,look each other in the eye and shake hands. They both give lip service to theidea that “all is forgiven” between them, pretending that they are startingagain with a blank slate. This is, of course, impossible. David still holds hisgrudges. And Julia has her secrets. But contact has been made. Quiet, human,tentatively warm contact. And a journey towards forgiveness has begun that willcontribute to David healing his war wounds and Julia becoming a morecompassionate person and politician.
When facing off with an enemy, you standopposite them. You literally, physically oppose them. But an ally is someone who stands atyour side. All the shots of David and Julia standing side by side at or inelevators, walking in tandem to and from her engagements are a sort ofemotional shorthand for an unexpected and growing allegiance.Because when you are forced to stand or walk beside someone, you are forced toexperience their life, to literally see the world from their perspective.Originally posed as enemies, due to simple proximity, these two very quicklybecome allies. This aspect of their relationship begins with the scene in which David rescuesJulia from the overbearing presence of Roger Penhaligon and continuesposthumously with Julia leaving evidence for David in her “Death Star” photo.Though Julia can clearly hold her own against her ex-husband, she’s amused, maybeeven touched, by David (ab)using the laws of the land in order to wheedle herout of an uncomfortable situation. What’s more, by remaining silent, she becomescomplicit in his little ruse. She allies herself with a lowly police officer,rather than one of her own kind. There is obvious beef between her and herex-hubby, giving David’s valiant rescue a personal, even romantic connotation. Protectingher is a duty he initially performs with a grudgingly perfunctory attitude. Buthere it becomes a matter of principle and later an act of faith and love. Thispassing scene also indicates that David and Julia are both people who are wellacquainted with the rules but will bend them if they feel justice would bebetter served by doing so. Both live by an inner moral code that at timesoverrides the laws of the highly regulated realms in which they work.
This is made clear when Julia breachessecurity in order to inform David of the danger posed to his children by aterrorist attack. She does this more than once, sharing classified informationand pulling strings for his benefit. David also flouts the rules for her,withholding information from his superiors until he can ascertain their motives.His actions during the Pascal House shooting are hardly by the book. Andeventually, the two of them go completely rogue, forming a politicalBonnie-and-Clyde-esque partnership that operates outside the law, ambushingthe leader of the land before fucking each other in exhilarated complicity.Flouting the rules undoubtedly binds them together, enhances their intimacy andhighlights their similarities. But such disregard for law and order is also theevil they are each in their way working to combat. Both Julia’s boss (the PM)and David’s boss (his CO) are, as it turns out, in the habit of breaking rulesand rewriting them to serve their own interests. So why is it reprehensible inthem and permissible in David and Julia? The short answer is: because they’rethe goodies. David is the anti-Craddock and Julia the anti-Vosler. We are meantto question their motives and we do. They both make some questionable decisionsand allegiances but in our gut we always suspect that their motives are sound.Their morals are relative, no doubt. They are working within corrupt systems sothey both must break the rules for the greater good. But even as they do, werecognise them as heroic figures worthy of our trust. Just as they, almostimmediately and instinctively, recognise in their supposed enemy an ally worthyof their hard-won trust.
Not just enemies but opposites, David and Julia initially seem to have nothingin common. They inhabit different professional spheres – hers consumed byideas, legislation and rhetoric, his by action, guns and stealth. They comefrom different classes, different countries even. There is a difference in ageand gender. They deviate politically. They tentatively jostle for control whenhe first takes over her protection detail. Julia likes control. David needs it. But asthe respect and warmth between them grows, she agrees to let him do his job. Inthis scene, however, there is absolutely nothing requiring him to keep hercompany. He stays and eats dinner with her because he wants to, because,despite the wide range of differences between them, they have one thing incommon. They’re both alone. More than that, they’re both lonely. We havealready seen that, each night when they head for their respective homes, theyreach for a little alcohol as they sit alone with their work, their thoughts ortheir broken lives. David’s is a little more broken than Julia’s, but her world-wearysnappiness or lightly eager chattiness whenever he accompanies her home speakvolumes about the private side of this woman we and David are just getting toknow.
This is the first time that theysocialise outside office hours, the first time they chat as David and Julia notprotection officer and highly prized principal. It is the first time a glint ofmutual attraction really becomes visible. It is also the first time Juliachooses David over other, perhaps wiser options. It becomes clear in thisscene, that both characters have been irrevocably altered by the disintegrationof their marriages. There is common ground there, more than they initiallymight’ve thought. There is also common ground in their choice of careers. Theseare two highly driven personalities who believe in standing by their principles(pun intended). And this time, when Julia states that she went into politics inorder to help people, David seems to believe her. Because, in helping hisfamily the way she has, he recognises something of himself in her. The boy who dreamedof being a doctor, the young man who became a soldier and the leftover shellperfunctorily performing the duties of protection officer all sense that,however questionable her tactics, she is driven by the same altruistic impulsehe is. For that, along with many other intangible things, David finds that heactually, genuinely likes Julia Montague.
Everything between these two characters –the growing warmth, respect and connection – becomes heightened and acceleratedby the shooting that occurs in ep 2. For me, it’s deeply significant that thefirst intimate contact between David and Julia happens when she is exhibiting allthe symptoms of PTSD. Earlier that day, he saw her completely deconstructed byfear as she cowered and trembled and shrieked, coated in cold sweat and warmblood. He knows better than anyone that such trauma is not momentary. It has alasting impact. Hours later, she has washed off the blood and with it hermake-up. She is bare-faced, emotionally naked and visibly shaken. Once again,David probably has no obligation to obey her call during his off-hours. He hasalready gone above and beyond in his duty to her that day. But I suspect that heneeds to see her as much as she needs to see him. Like two soldiers who havewalked through a warzone together, the experience has inextricably bonded them. The last time they saw each other, hestood on top of the building from which the shots were fired as hisshell-shocked principal was ushered to safety. There was no opportunity forthem to connect properly, to breathe out and thank their lucky stars. There wasno opportunity for her to thank him or for him to make sure she was alright.She isn’t really, as evidenced by the fact that she doesn’t thank him hereeither. She doesn’t gush with praise and gratitude and relief. Hardly one togush in general, Julia is still caught in that moment in the car and needs totalk it through with the only person who knows what it was like, the only otherperson who was actually there, the only person she feels she can trust.
As I noted in another previous post, David’s PTSD oftenleaks out of his body via his hands. His hands express the edgy tension thatthe rest of his body manages to suppress. Julia is not as expert as suppressing suchtension, so her hand shakes in the aftermath of the attempt on her life,clattering her tea cup and spilling her tea. David reaches out to still her,calm her. His steady hand hovers over hers for a long moment, bringing themcloser to one another and reminding them both of the moment they clutched handsin the car. There’s a touching irony about this scene. Because of the two ofthem, David is far more entitled to feel effected by the events of the day.Julia has received only a taste of suffering the consequences of her actions.Yet, her extreme self-absorption here, her inability to see past the trauma ofher own experience to how he might be feeling, in an odd way helps him. Becauseit reflects him back to himself. In her, he can see his own self-absorption,his own limited, fractured view of the world. She is angry, paranoid, erraticand vulnerable. Much like he can be. She gives him an outside glimpse ofhimself. In the face of which, he is able to comfort her, humour her andeventually hold her. This kind of calm, patient, tender response is somethingVicky is unable to give him and, more significantly, something he is unable togive himself. But in being with Julia in this moment, David begins to build themental and emotional muscles required to finally deal with his own condition.That is why, in my opinion, David getting help for his PTSD in the final minutesof the show is the ultimate tribute to Julia. He is not there because Vickyurged him to get help. Or Louise. He is not there out of a professional duty tothe force. He is there because getting help is the last thing Julia wanted forhim. He is there because it’s the last thing he can do to honour her and thelife she wished to build with him. He is there because she showed him himselfand set him on the path of recovery.
So here we get to the crux of yourquestion, Anon. Because the intimate scenes between David and Julia are, I’massuming, the ones that most influence your current view of this pairing. The previous scene leads to the first time Davidand Julia make love (and it is described as such in Jed’s script). But thereare also a couple of scenes in which they fuck passionately andunapologetically. And here is where, I believe, we run into some lingeringpuritanical attitudes in our supposedly enlightened Western culture(s) (theonly culture from which I can speak). As I said above, I think the trajectoryof David and Julia’s relationship is accelerated by the trauma of the shooting.Without it, they may not have fallen into bed so quickly or at all. But even ifthey had, personally I think it’s okay for two people to meet, feel anattraction and act on it. As long as these people are consenting adults, I seeno real crime. As such, I find a flaw in the premise of your question. Becausewhat does this phrase “using each other for sex” really mean? As long as theattraction, desire and consent are mutual, no using is possible, surely. For“using” to occur there has to be an inordinate expectation on one side and anundisclosed non-intention to meet it on the other. Neither is present in Davidand Julia’s relationship. They are both consenting adults who are attracted toeach other and enter into a sexual relationship with their eyes wide open.
It is undoubtedly a whirlwind romance,which begins suddenly and (unfortunately) ends just as suddenly. Sexualchemistry is an important ingredient in a romantic relationship, particularlyin the beginning, and these two definitely have it. Had they the chance to testtheir relationship beyond the limited scope Jed allowed them, their sexualactivity may have peaked then plateaued and other aspects of their relationshipdeveloped. There are, as this post explores, many other sides to thisrelationship apart from the sexual. And yet, it is foolish, I believe, tosimply dismiss the sexual. This kind of dismissal is rooted, I assume, in ourculture’s view of sex as a low, base, animalistic, immoral behaviour. There arealternative belief systems from other cultures (Tantra, for instance) thatattempt to reclaim the sexual (largely from religious doctrines of repressionand condemnation) and that link the sexual with the spiritual. As a culture, weare fairly comfortable with the idea that “making love” might contain aspiritual component. But pure fucking, in our collective view, is not permittedspiritual status. It can, however, under certain circumstances attain this kindof higher function. And this is my view of David and Julia’s lawless hotel-roomsexcapades. They are both enjoying a good fuck for the first time in who knowshow long. But at the same time, these stolen trysts serve a higher function anda narrative purpose. They bond these two together even closer than before. Theyexcite deeper feelings in Julia. And help David to heal and move on.
Aside from the PTSD they both to differentdegrees suffer, David and Julia are both also recovering from broken marriages.We don’t know how long Julia has been divorced from Roger but we know it wasacrimonious. So we can assume they hadn’t had sex for a while before divorcing.As an attractive woman, Julia has probably had a few tentative offers since (itwould take a fair bit of gall simply to approach this woman), but I’m guessingshe never followed through on them. As in the restaurant scene with Rob, shewas probably flattered by any attention that came her way but very quickly calculatedthat the risk to her career and reputation outweighed any potential benefits.After all, Julia is not like any other middle-aged divorcee who can simply goto a bar or a party, meet a new partner and date in the usual fashion. In herprofession, everything she does is going to be the subject of scrutiny andcritique (even more so as a woman). So what we have in her is a woman chronicallystarved of touch, of normal human contact. On top of which, Julia Montague isnot a well-liked woman, even amongst her own staff. Most eye her with suspicionbordering on contempt. They may jostle for her good favour, but they don’tactually know or like her. Nor, it seems, does the public she serves or thepress that shadows her every move. Her position, rather ironically, reflectsDavid’s condition in that while his mind tricks him into thinking he’ssurrounded by threats, she actually is. Her former husband uses his position totry to bully and contain her. There is even something vaguely underhanded andentitled about Rob’s attempts to get close to her. An isolated ice queen, Juliais besieged by masked bandits, yes men and outright enemies. She must maintainher boundaries at all costs. She cannot falter, soften or allow entry to anyonewho might compromise her. So, starved of affection as well as touch, thispoor woman probably hasn’t had sex, or even thought about it, in years.
David’s situation is even more dire. Hissplit from Vicky is more recent. Unlike Roger and Julia’s union, David andVicky’s has yet to meet its natural end. Everything is still new, raw, uncertain.David is still clinging onto hope, longing to be back in the bosom of hisfamily. This has been his security, his purpose. Without it, he is adrift. Sohe continues to reach out to his estranged wife, only to be rebuffed over andover again. His inquiries and advances are consistently met with exasperatedsighs and keening complaints. Now, I actually think Vicky was well within herrights to end her relationship with David. It makes sense to me that it hascome to this. I see nothing to judge there. Some relationships have an expirationdate. To believe otherwise – or indeed to suddenly and without good reasonreverse back into an already spent relationship – is to live in a fairytaleland. So I get where Vicky is coming from. I support her looking after herself,her kids and moving on with her young life. God’s speed, little woman. But,from David’s perspective, this feels like repeated sexual rejection when he’sat his most vulnerable. And anyone who’s experienced sexual rejection knows howdeeply it cuts. Sex is elemental, there’s nothing to hide behind. So rejectionat this level, especially by the person he’s presumably been with since he wasjust a wee Budd, is going to devastate this already devastated man. On theother hand, enthusiastic, full-bodied acceptance by a new lover is going to bean experience of euphoric emotional relief and intense spiritual satisfaction.When a woman makes love with a man, she literally accepts him into her body. Itis the ultimate act of trust and acceptance. Vicky has, presumably after muchangst, closed her body and heart off to David. As she has every right and reason to. Herhusband has become too scary, too dark and too much for her to handle.
I imagine that when Vicky met David intheir late teens/early twenties, he was a scrawny Scottish lad with bad skin,skinny legs and an eagerness to please. Over the years, his profession haspumped him up into the buff stud he now is while that eagerness to please herhas become a neediness she finds suffocating. She’s a single working mum,she’s got enough on her plate with her job and her kids. She wants a man totake care of her, not one who needs to be taken care of. It’s yet another ofthe ironies of the show that Vicky is a nurse who is unable to look after herown husband. Again, I think she has perfectly legitimate reasons for this. Oneof which being that her husband is now a physically overwhelming presence whosemind is riddled with trauma. As such, he actually presents a significant threatto her. We can assume that the scene in which an unconscious David stranglesJulia is a repeat of something similar that happened with Vicky and that thisis what finally triggered her ejecting him from his home and their marriage.Such terrifying violence proved a breaking point for Vicky, as well it should.Julia is, however, more of a physical match for David. Vicky is petite andyoung and fairly insubstantial as a woman, character and sexual being. Over theyears, her husband has turned from an earnest boy into a fearsome, fracturedhero. What he needs now isn’t a soft and sweet princess but an equallyfearsome, fractured heroine. Enter Julia. Julia, with her statuesque height andassured stride, has as strong a physical presence as her buff PPO. There isnothing insubstantial about this woman’s body, character or sexuality. Once Davidis assured that she doesn’t regret their initial sexual encounter, thefloodgates open on the sexual energy he has been suppressing for so long. Withsweet little Vicky, I imagine, he was always a bit careful not to use his fullstrength, not to unleash the true intensity of his passion. But with Julia hecan. This woman is just as hungry, just as passionate. And just as into him andhe is into her. That powerful driving force of male sexuality is something shewelcomes, needs, revels in. Her body can absorb everything he’s got to give andthen some, transforming it into her own passion and returning it right back tohim.
The last thing I want to point out is thatDavid’s body is, due to his illness, in a state of near constant suffering.Always on alert, he is, when we first meet him, incapable of experiencing restand release. His body is a site of pain and tension and memory. Mental illnesscan often affect sexual appetite and ability but this is clearly not a problemfor David. Sex is a form of pleasure and release he is capable of, even in histense, traumatised state. Anyone who has experienced mental illness knows thatyou have to find your victories, your pleasure and relief, wherever you can.With Julia, David can experience a brief respite from the symptoms of his PTSD.Rather than living in the past, he is brought into the present. Rather thanliving in constant tension, he can find release. Rather than pain, heexperiences pleasure. Rather than numbness, fear or anger, he has access tohigher emotions like exhilaration, anticipation, appreciation and love. Ratherthan being trapped in his damaged, distressed body, he can experience sexualactivity of a transcendental variety. He can experience the acceptance of awoman who desires and supports rather than fears and rejects him. A woman ableto listen to his past pain and envisage a future for the two of them thatinvolves partnership, pleasure and peace.
This scene must be one of a few that most refutes the idea of Julia and David’srelationship as based only on shallow physical gratification. If you’re in itjust for the sex, you don’t tend to stick around afterwards to lazily strokeyour lover’s flesh, to share childhood dreams under the cover of a sex-scented sheetand giggle over shared jokes in the intensely intimate aftermath. This quietopening moment of ep 3, which probably surprised a few viewers with its inclusionin an action-packed political drama, serves a distinct purpose in terms of thenarrative trajectory of both characters. It deftly establishes the nature andfuture potential of this relationship (right before destroying it). It alsoevokes, incidentally, a modern classic by borrowing imagery from Baz Luhrmann’srendering of Shakespeare’s famed lovers, Romeo and Juliet. Hardly a couple toevoke if you’re portraying a flimsy lovestory.
Most important to note here is the changeof heart occurring in that hard-line pillar of politics, Julia Montague. Afterhearing David’s backstory, her eyes lower in a moment of private self-reflectionthat will later manifest in a surprisingly public way. It’s lightly handled andplayed –missable if you’re not watching Keeley Hawes’ nuanced performanceclosely – but pivotal to this character’s development. Julia’s politics upuntil now have been a matter of principle, a product of stringent rationalityand a reflection of her uncompromising worldview. But here, they begin to soften,influenced by this fleeting interaction with her lover and by her ownexperience as a woman and human being. Equally revealing is David’s response,or rather his lack of response. Because this is a man who has been set up asJulia Montague’s nemesis, her wanna-be destroyer. Yet, in relaying his historyto her, there is none of the rage, not even a trace of the blame or hatred wehave seen this character carrying so heavily throughout the series. It’s notlike these emotions are present but hidden either. David’s face, usually sostoic, so enigmatic, is completely open, totally free of complication, conflictor concealment. Absolutely nothing is going on for him here except what ishappening in this simple, peaceful moment. Nothing in his past is relevant.That weight has been lifted. He is light, he is free, he is happy. He is a manreleased. He is the new man Julia Montague has made him.
The other aspect of this relationship thatsome might find problematical is the game-playing. But I would suggest thatthis playfulness, which arises only in ep 3, is just a sign of two characters growingincreasingly secure in themselves and in their burgeoning relationship. I amtalking here about the scene in which Julia concocts an excuse to be alone withher bodyguard then slams him against the nearest flat surface in order tobriefly have her way with him. And the scene in which she coaxes a disgruntledBudd into her bed by unzipping her slacks and stimulating herself as hewatches. Both moments depict a mature and confident female sexuality which, forme, only adds to the appeal of this character and this show. For some, thisseemed to compound an impression of poor David Budd as being constantly shuntedabout by powerful women. Personally, I think David more than holds his own inthe presence of these female forces of nature, both in a professional andsexual capacity. These private power plays are, of course, meant to reflect thepolitical power plays occurring beneath the surface of the supposedlyunassailable institutions of the national parliament and police. And on firstviewing, we are undoubtedly meant to suspect that Julia is manipulating her PPOwith such unabashed sexiness. We are likewise meant to wonder whether David isusing his ripped bod and prowess in the sack to keep his protectee sweet whilehe spies on her and plots her demise. We are supposed to question thisrelationship and both their motives in entering into it and continuing it. Onre-watching, however, it becomes clear that this relationship is based on twofacts alone: David and Julia like each other and are attracted to each other.And so, with the added impetus of the shooting, their affair begins.
Unlike the intimate scenes in ep 2, whichare both serious and intense, many of David and Julia’s intimate moments in ep3, including the morning-after scene discussed above, have a lightness, aplayfulness. They seem to have relaxed into this relationship, grown moreconfident in their mutual attraction. They have found, or are in the process offinding, a dynamic that works for them. This involves some physical andemotional push and pull, as in the above scene in which they tease each other with open mouths, indulging then withdrawing then claiming contact. And as in the scene in which Budd gets huffy at beingtreated like room service and Julia entreats him not to be another man whocan’t handle a relationship with a woman of power. Such push and pull is notjust a feature of any healthy relationship, it can also be intensely sexy as long as both partners are equal.History is filled with narratives of contending opposites: Beatrice andBenedick, Tracy and Hepburn, Roxy and Velma, Tom and Jerry, to name but a few.But they only work if the opposing parties are equally strong. Otherwise, whatyou end up with is a narrative of unceasing sadism (think Roadrunner and theCoyote) where one party is obviously, eternally and unjustly outmatched.Neither David nor Julia were fairly matched in their first marriages. They bothhad to make themselves appear smaller, less powerful, less threatening to theirspouses – David so as not to scare Vicky and Julia so as not to emasculateRoger. But David is not emasculated by Julia’s power any more than Julia isscared by his. Judging by the way he smiles into their bathroom kiss and tipshis head as she pleasures herself for his admiring gaze, he rather enjoysJulia’s sexual power. And judging by the ecstasy on her face as David’s brawny bodymoves over her later in the ep, Julia more than enjoys David’s sexual power.
Of course, sexual power is not the onlypower present in this relationship. Both characters bring different strengthsto the table. David’s physical power is gloriously obvious, thanks to sometight suits and stripped-down moments. (God bless Richard Madden’s personal trainer). He brings the survival skills, the graceunder fire, the ability to take action in life-threatening situations and standstrong as this woman crumbles at his feet. Julia possesses the political power,the ability to effect cultural change, the public standing and diplomaticcunning required of her office. At times, she must police her turf and Davidmust act the politician. But essentially, their talents and abilities arecontrasting and complementary. This contrast and complement is compounded bythe fact that they are members of the opposite sex. Though our understanding ofsex and gender is moving away from the simplistic two-sex model, the energiesof masculine and feminine (present in all of us, regardless of factors of identityor biology) remain two of the fundamental building blocks of humanity. Weinstinctively recognise them as part our make-up, two almighty elements that co-exist,compete and cooperate in a pursuit of ultimate unity. David is an intenselymasculine presence in a female-dominated world. Julia is an intensely femininepresence in a masculine-dominated world. When their worlds collide, so do theseelemental, contrasting energies. Rather than clashing or seeking domination,these energies revel in the power and difference of the other. For only a mansecure in his masculinity would allow his lover to physically manoeuvre andoverpower him. Only a woman secure in her femininity would expose her desire bypleasuring herself for a surly, hesitant audience. And only a couple secure intheir dynamic would engage in these kinds of sexual games and power plays. Theyare acts of confidence that suggest a strong sense of assurance in both theirindividual sexualities and their shared connection. The reason it is so sexyand fascinating to watch is because we recognise the archetypal powers beingplayed with by the characters and creators. And the reason it’s harmoniousrather than manipulative, dysfunctional or problematic is that the strengths,abilities and power exhibited by the carriers of these potent energies areperfectly, equally matched.
Have you ever heard that apparent truism that a woman needs to feel love to have sex and a man needs to have sex to feel loved? Well, I don’t think it’strue of every man and woman in a heterosexual relationship but I do think itaccurately describes David and Julia’s relationship. In protecting her sofiercely then holding her so tenderly, David made Julia feel loved. Probablyfor the first time in years. This compelled her to reach out to him, open tohim, invite him into her bed and into her body. I think David already likedJulia, was attracted to her. We can assume, based on his intense loyalty, thathe hasn’t slept with anyone since Vicky. I mean, it’s possible he hasn’t sleptwith anyone but Vicky. Any experience he might have had before her was likelyto be with teenage girls as opposed to fully grown women of great power andintellect. But really, he’s still hoping to reconcile with a partner who hasalready moved on to another lover. So accepting Julia’s advances is a huge deal.It’s only after he does, only in the sex act (several of them), that David actuallyfalls in love with her. If all of the above has failed to shift your opinion ofthese two, Anon, then there’s ample evidence in ep 3 to suggest that these twogenuinely love each other and are considering making that love official. Thereis also ample evidence in the final 3 episodes of the show that David lovedJulia deeply. I am not going to look at these eps, 1. because this post isalready ridiculously long, 2. because I don’t know these eps as well, havingonly watched them once or twice, 3. because they make me sad, and 4. because I thinkthere is more than enough material in these first 3 eps to legitimise this relationshipand elevate it to the rank of true love.
Instead, let’s start by looking at how David and Julia react to the rather protractedrending they undergo in the final act of episode 3. Jed begins ripping thesetwo from each other’s sides with the scene in which Julia is confronted by thedeeper scars of David’s past and her own terrifying legacy. The door she slamsbetween them is an apt metaphor for the heavy metaphysical barrier that willsoon divide them, trapping David in the land of the living and Julia on “theother side”. They continue to reach out across this divide, whispering throughthe unyielding wood, desperate to maintain their fledgling connection. The nextday, as they go about their business, both look haunted by the previous night’sevents, preoccupied by their dread of the inevitable fall-out. As they travelto what will turn out to be Julia’s last engagement as Home Secretary, both aredistracted from their duties by thoughts of the other. In Jed’s script it saysthat their eyes meet in the rear-view mirror, just as they have done before.But somewhere along the way, the decision was made for this connection not tooccur. When David looks at Julia, she is looking away and when Julia looks atDavid, he is looking away. To me, this indicates that their minds have takenthem down separate hypothetical paths. Julia is thinking one thing while Davidis thinking another, and these paths at no point intersect. His insides sinkingand retreating, David expects Julia to react as Vicky did, ejecting him fromher bed and irrevocably closing off her heart to him. He expects to be robbedof the one thing he holds in the highest esteem – his place at her side.
In some ways, Julia’s reaction is moreenigmatic than David’s and in some ways less. David is the character we haveconsistently received more information on, more emotional insight into. So,however ambiguous this show insists on being, it’s slightly easier to inferwhat he is thinking and feeling. On the other hand, Jed needs to maintain some ambiguityaround David’s relationship with Julia for another three episodes. He still wantseveryone questioning whether he was part of the plot to destroy her. He doesn’tneed to maintain this ambiguity around Julia’s character, since he’s about todo away with her. As such, one of his parting gifts to her is a moment of utterhonesty and clarity. He begins building towards this moment with her silentcontemplation en route to an event she’s no doubt been planning for weeks,maybe months, possibly years. Rather than approaching this pivotal moment with doggeddetermination and ambitious verve, she is derailed by sadness and anxiety overa personal relationship she never anticipated interfering with her meteoricrise. Julia does three things as she sits in the back of the car: she edits herspeech, crossing out “unity” and replacing it with “leadership”, she slowlyraises her eyes to the man who sits directly in front of her and then casts herreflective gaze at the empty seat beside her. These silent, telling acts allprefigure the offer she will make to her devoted PPO and clandestine lover. For,while “unity” on the surface means party unity, it can also mean the union oftwo opposites, an agreement between former enemies. It implies harmony, interconnectedness,togetherness. Even marriage. She crosses this word out to replace it withleadership – then seems to question this choice, not as enamoured with it asshe has previously been.
Here, Julia is choosing between her bid forthe highest office in the land and her love for this brave new man in her life.At St Matthews, alone in the green room, she continues to contemplate thischoice, because each undoubtedly endangers the other. Going public with herrelationship with David is not the smartest choice she could make politically.In fact, it’s just about the dumbest move this already contentious publicfigure could possibly make at this point. And if it came out that their loveaffair started while he was her married PPO, it would effectively end herpolitical career, not to mention her shot at the prime ministership. Neither isthis the sort of scandal a politician could in time come back from, especiallynot a female one. She would be done and done for good. And she knows it. She’sstill going to go out there and deliver her speech, take her shot. But in myview, she also understands that it may very well be her swan song (it is). Thisis why she includes the reference to David’s past in her speech. She wants whatmight be her final political act before everything crumbles about her toreflect the changes he has wrought on her heart and the reason she is willingto jeopardise all she’s striven for.
David and Julia begin this episode byjoking about losing their jobs and end it by facing that very real possibility.For Julia, this loss is exponentially more significant, yet she (rather swiftly,considering the stakes) decides she’s willing to risk it. Risk her career, herreputation and the ambition of a lifetime. Again, this is hardly behaviouryou’d expect of a woman only interested in keeping a broody Scottish sextoy onthe side. However ambiguous Julia’s actions might have been up until now, thefinal private moment between her and David is written, directed and acted insuch a way that her motives, desires and character are made perfectly clear. Sheis cleansed of all fault. Like a penitent sinner, Jed allows her to make herlast confession. In sharing state secrets, he proves that her morals andmotives are sound, despite the world of moral relativism she inhabits. She alsoproves that her deepest allegiance lies not with her party, her government orher office. But with David. Here, she finally gives him the only thing he hasconsistently asked of her. He has done so much for her, both in a professionaland personal capacity. The truth about the day his kids were endangered is allhe has ever asked in return and here she gives him the facts in black and white.She lays her actions, motivations and morals bare in order that he may judgeher worthy or unworthy of his trust, love and future commitment. She tells himplainly what she wants and lets him know that he can have what he wants, ifwhat he wants is her. With this scene, Jed doesn’t just humanise hisanti-heroine, he doesn’t just redeem the problematic Julia Montague. He imbuesher with near angelic magnificence. He gives David a shatteringly pure momentto recall and a shiningly lovely muse to serve after her death. The final smileshe gives him before releasing his hand is that of a woman released, a woman atpeace with what she is about to do and why.
As for David, it must be nice to havesomeone reach for him, rather than always being the one reaching out, offeringand entreating and hoping for a positive response. The night of the October 1strail attack, after returning his kids home, he reaches for his wife’s hand.Vicky allows him to lightly grasp her fingers. She curls her other hand overhis, but there’s something distancing about the gesture. She half allows thecontact and half rejects it. She comforts him with one hand while pushing himaway with the other. Julia has always been the one to reach out to him, she hasalways made her feelings and desires clear. She does so here too, telling himin no uncertain terms that she doesn’t just want his body, his passion, hiscock. She wants him. She wants him in her life. She will risk the fall-out andshe will face his trauma, as long as he holds her hand and stands at her side.David is flummoxed but visibly moved. He is not used to this kind of bravery,devotion and love in a woman. He was fully prepared to lose her, his assignmentand possibly his job all in one fell swoop. She has all the power in thisrespect. She could simply have him disappeared if she wished to bury theiraffair in red tape. David is also, it must be noted, not as skilled at mergingthe personal and professional. In the scene in which Julia ambushes him in thehotel bathroom, it takes a moment for his professional façade to melt. At first,he remains stiff and stationary, his body confused by the unexpected onslaught.Then he figures out her game and kisses her back, delighted by her desire. It’sthe same here. He’s in professional mode. He is soldier, not lover. Robot, nothuman. Added to which, his mind has taken him down a different pathway toJulia’s. So he’s expecting rejection. He’s expecting more loss and hurt andinstability. He’s clearly not happy about it. He leaks resentment through hisemotional armour as he tells her from the threshold that they’re ready for her.But as soon as she begins talking, in a voice he recognises from their privatemoments, not from her public performances, he moves closer, hanging on every word.He doesn’t know why she’s telling him these things but gradually his eyesmoisten and his rigidity softens.
Who knows what David’s answer wouldultimately have been to Julia’s proposition. He’s disallowed an answer because,as already noted, Jed must maintain some ambiguity around his motives. But he’salso at a disadvantage here, because she’s had a little time to think about thepossibility of a future of their own imagining. He’s had none, so convinced he’llonce again be dispensed. Emotionally, he’s not where Julia is (yet). He is notyet divorced. He would need to let go of Vicky and figure out what would workfor his kids. He would cop some flack in the press and, no doubt, at work. Hemay even lose his job. All this requires consideration and he hasn’t had thechance to give it even passing thought. Like Julia, he may have decided that itwas worth the risk. We cannot know. We can only make an informed guess, basedon their complex backstory, what this future might’ve looked like and howviable it might’ve been. So much of this relationship went unexplored,including the revelation of his betrayal of her trust. But perhaps the bestindicator of what David’s answer might have been lies in the episodes thatfollow this one. His relentless pursuit of her killer is also in part a rueful,futile pursuit of this final moment together in which he failed to express allshe meant to him. He failed to come clean with her when she came clean withhim. And now, he knows, he never can. The opportunity to realise all this,verbalise it, is brutally taken from him, as was any future life they could’vecreated.
Whether you look at the first 3 eps of Bodyguard, the last 3 or all of them together,the relationship between David and Julia remains the dominant feature anddriving force of the show. It was undoubtedly a significant relationship forboth, but most especially for David (far more significant than the finaltwo minutes suggest). These two changed each other’s lives. They changed eachother’s hearts. They started out as enemies, became allies and ended up lovers.They seemed to have nothing in common, but found they shared, in Jed’s words,“a deep connection”. They healed eachother and held each other. They discovered unplumbed depths of passion together.They played games and exchanged intimacies. They revelled in the power anddifference of their equal/opposite. They made love, fucked and felt for eachother. They reached out in the intimate dark, contacting something deeply humanin someone who’d only ever existed for them as a fiction. They found the truthof each other, reflecting it back to gently incite self-knowledge. How could anyonedeny such a complicated, poignant, golden ship? I have written so much aboutthese two before, and so much here. Yet more could be explored. Other scenescould be examined, other interpretations posited. This alone suggests that thisis not a pairing to reduce to superficial motivations. This relationshiprequires close attention, compassionate, intelligent and nuanced reading. Thisis my reading of them, cobbled together after many rewatches and manyconversations with fellow tumblrites. Hopefully, it has helped explain whyDavid and Julia have captured the imagination of so many avid, loyal and now grief-strickenshippers.
