Jack

Here for Outander and outlander fanfic...might have a little to say about Sam and Cait.

[hudconera]

translation: "i am so in love with him i dont know what to do about it"

[shanehollandered]

[spicyvampire]

Doesn't look like they need much help to get in each other's faces [insp.]

HEATED RIVALRY (2025−)

[shami1412]

Ilya sticking his tounge in Shane's mouth is one of my favorite genres.

[chaoticpaige]

Oh, he knows.

[eddiegayass]

EVERY HOLLANOV KISS [15/?]

[queercomesthesun]

"I think you can tell your parents you're gay without giving them a list of all the guys's you're fucking"

This scene is giving "if i loved you less id be able to talk about it more."

Shane being gay isnt the big thing he wants to tell his parents. Ilya is. And to him, theres no point telling them one without the other.

[jack-andthestalk]

I've just finished reading Stuck on You for the 4th or 5th time, it's one of my faves of all time. Now I'm left wondering how Jamie's parents will react to Claire all over again lol. Hoping you continue this gem, but mostly I want to say thanks for creating a story that I read when I'm needing a pick me up.

Thanks so much. I really will try to finish this. I can't say I am a huge fan of the show anymore but they are my versions of characters so I would like to see them to the end.

[jack-andthestalk]

Hi! Is it possible to read Our Son from the beginning? I dont see all the chapters in you posts...

I only have the link on Archive of your own.

Our son. - Chapter 1 - Jack_andthestalk - Multifandom [Archive of Our Own]

Hope that helps.

J

[annagoober]

TBT: This story was floating around Tumblr a few days ago and it’s a great one, so thought I’d use it for TBT. “Our Son” is from 2019 and written by @jack-andthestalk . It does not have an epilogue, but it’s a wonderful read. Enjoy!

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

[jack-andthestalk]

Do you have a masterlist post anywhere? I'm reading Our Son and can't find Chapter 7.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/15452463

Hope this link works il share the AO3 link to my blog as well. I don’t really know how to post links ☺️

[jack-andthestalk]

Our Son, The Wedding Morning, Chapter 16.

Moodboard by the lovely @balfeheughlywed

I was grateful for three things the night before the wedding; firstly, that I had the good mind before Jamie left, to ask him to keep Willie that night, I had a hairdresser’s appointment with Jenny the next morning being my main excuse. Number two was that Jenny wanted to go to bed early due to her lingering hangover, which consequently meant I didn’t have to sit up drinking champagne and trying not to let her see I had been an emotional wreck moments before. Number three was the sleeping tablets I had brought with me for flying, I swallowed one and downed two glasses of wine from the fridge. I barely remembered my head touching the pillow.

I woke the following morning and gave myself a stern talking to, I felt fresh, rested and my fighting spirit had returned. I owed Jenny Fraser soon to be Murray a lot and today was her day, it was not about me or Jamie. I intended to put my best foot forward and appreciate her special day, also make equally sure everything was as it should be for her.

We returned to Lallybroch from a giggly morning sipping champagne in the hairdressers. The morning was ladies only, with the male party getting ready in Jamie’s cottage. I hadn’t spotted him that morning, and I was thankful of that in order to keep my newly positive attitude ongoing. 

A beautician was coming to the main house to do our make-up. We laughed and reminisced about Jenny’s early days with Ian, Ellen telling funny stories about Jamie and Jenny as children. We went up to Jenny’s room to get dressed, Dressing Jenny first, she looked stunning, one of the most beautiful brides I had ever seen. Ellen placed a pearl necklace around her neck and said “yer something old love”, Jenny smiled back and said “aye and I ken ye told me I have to give them back”, Ellen nodded, “that is right they are Jamie’s to give to his wife, when he weds.” she looked at me softly and said “and I dinna think Claire would appreciate ye taking them on her.”

“I don’t think so Ellen” I said smiling and shaking my head, face downcast. Hoping to god that the tears threatening to fall didn’t show in my eyes. “Dinna laugh at me” Ellen said playfully. “Jamie Fraser has nay had eyes for anyone since ye came with Lamb four years ago, isna that right Janet?”

Jenny rolled her eyes at her mother “will ya stop mam ye are embarrassing Claire, ye will not be happy until he produces that ring again!” Jenny said breezily, admiring herself in the full length mirror as she spoke.

“What ring?” I stuttered out. Jenny’s eyes went wide for a minute and she threw an imploring look at Ellen. Whatever she had said, it was a mistake.

Ellen looked at me and took my two hands in hers, “its nay Jenny’s story to tell aye…she shouldna said anything.”

My eyes filled with tears, Ellen sighed and took a moment to think, she pressed her lips together and cautiously said “he brought a ring to Boston before, please dinna ask any more Claire cause I really canna say.” Ellen blurted and then threw a stern look at the bride.

Silence consumed the room. I kept looking at my ring finger. Did Ellen mean Jamie had come to Boston to propose? When?

“Well then” Jenny cleared her throat and said “I think it is time we went downstairs to see what Da thinks of us.” I tried to rid my dazzled brain of all thoughts of rings and made my way down stairs holding Jenny’s train.

_________

Jenny had come to Boston to shop for her wedding and bridesmaid dress, we had a boozy lunch and then hit the bridal boutiques. Jenny had let me feel in control of what I choose, although I knew she had an exact design in mind and until we hit on it we would play the “ach that is lovely Claire but I dinna think it suits ye” game. Eventually for her own dress, she settled on a 40’s style vintage gown with beautiful lace detail. Jenny had steered me towards, a two piece dress, the skirt was tulle and floaty, it was icy blue in color. Jenny said it matched the Fraser eyes, I remember standing in the shop and thinking of Jamie’s eyes, not Willies or Jenny’s but Jamie’s, absently remembering they were much bluer and warmer than the skirt.

The top was white silk, a round neck and sleeveless. Jenny seen my hesitance at wearing something so girlie, sold it by saying “Ach Claire, it has pockets for yer wee bits”. Practicality out winning for me, secretly I wanted to look good. Even over a year ago when I picked that dress, I bought it thinking of what Jamie would think of me when he saw me in it. Now walking back up to my cottage to retrieve my camera and phone, hair piled on top of my head and a warm breeze hitting my face, I felt positively swishy and girl like, a very uncommon feeling for me.

Approaching my cottage I spotted Ian, Jamie and Willie outside having their photos taken by the photographer. Jamie had his hand draped around Ian’s shoulder and was holding Willie in his arms, he looked decadent, breath takingly handsome and my heart released a pang for him and only for him. I tried to brush it off and proceeded on to see them, “Oh my, you boys scrub up well!” I announced cheerfully. Jamie was going to get my friendliest version of me for the day, it was his sister’s wedding and whatever was going on between us, I knew I cared enough about him to make sure he enjoyed it too.

They hadn’t spotted me until I spoke, so when they turned to look Ian’s broad smile and whistling gesture made me blush. Jamie’s mouth hung open a little, eyes wider than normal, a little pride ran from the pit of my tummy to my face at the affect I had on him. He didn’t speak. I went to fix the flower in Willie’s lapel, he wrapped his little arms around my neck and said “yer the prettiest girl here mama”, I tut tutted him and said “you haven’t seen your aunty Jenny yet.” When I looked up Jamie was staring at me, he quickly glanced away.

The photographer on seeing me, checked a list from his pocket and said “the bride has asked that we get one shot of her brother, his son and Claire?” eyebrows creased in question to see if I was Claire. “yep that is me” I said helpfully. “Great can I get one of you over by the tree.” Jamie, Willie and I made for the tree, Willie taking a hand each and swinging between us, shouting eagerly “look at me mama” and “higher Da”. The photographer probably seeing this family scene unfold before him presumed wrongly Jamie was my husband, and I his wife. “ok if you two can bend down on your hunkers as if chatting to your little lad there”, we both willingly obliged, “now Jamie if you can put your arm around your wife’s shoulders, yes just like that…” Jamie didn’t correct him just followed his instructions. “Aye that’s it and if ye two can look at each other, and wee Willie here can look up at ye”, the photographer continued. “Jamie I don’t think…”, I tried to point out these poses were going to appear if we were man and wife if we didn’t correct him. “ssh Claire, let the man do his work” was all I got in response from Jamie, he has to look directly at me for the pose, he took it to another level by boring into my eyes. The second time the photographer referred to me as Jamie’s wife, I opened my mouth to speak, Jamie just squeezed my shoulder tighter. Suddenly the ring and him bringing it to Boston was foremost in my mind and I couldn’t bring myself to say it either. The photographer positioned us into a pose and snapped several times, finally saying, “they are great thank you, ye are a good looking family.”

By the time we were finished with the photographer, Ian was standing near the tree waiting. I presumed they had to get more shots taken and made to head for the cottage. Ian called me back “Claire can I have a quick word?” Jamie shot him a look and Ian offered “just something I have for Jenny…” Jamie’s face relaxed slightly and I made to walk up to my cottage with Ian.

I waited looking at Ian expectantly once we reached the cottage, “are you ok Ian? You look nervous?” he was looking over my shoulder for a minute and he looked back at me absentmindedly “Mmm…oh aye ya just a wee bit nervous…how is Jenny” he started, “Oh she is so excited, she looks amazing, wait until you see her”, I replied.

His face lit up at hearing about Jenny, and then grew serious again, “I eh..I..actually wanted to talk to ye about Jamie, Claire.” My face instantly went red, “what…I mean..what do you want to say about Jamie?” I stuttered out.

“weel”, he started, “I heard Laoghaire came by his place yesterday and said somethings to ye that were unpleasant” he said the last word as if he had dirt in his mouth. “She didn’t actually say anything to me, but she made sure I heard” I explained, my gaze stuck to the ground, humiliation creeping up on me again at the memory. “Aye weel, Jamie isna good at … the truth of it Claire is that when it comes to ye, Jamie loses all sensible reason…so I wanted to speak to ye on his behalf as such…although I ken fine well he may no appreciate it.” He pursed his lips and bowed his head, for reassurance he could continue.

I swallowed and nodded, “Ian this is your wedding day, you don’t need to worry yourself about me or Jamie, honestly we are both grown-ups”, I said smiling. I really didn’t want this, Ian did not have to take up his time with Jamie or me, especially today.

“No Claire” he said surely, “I do.”

“I set Jamie up with Laoghaire a couple of months back, she is a cousin of mine…aye?” he blurted out. Seeing I wasn’t interrupting, he kept going.

“Claire…I ken you may no feel like believing Jamie at the moment but I hope ye have some faith in what I tell ye”, a shy smile appearing on his lips.

“The thing is …well…Jamie has never moved on really from ye since ye came that first time and Willie or no, I think he always hoped that there might be some future for ye…he hadna well…he hadna passed too much heed to any woman since Willie was born and to be honest Claire, I dinna think it was healthy…then when Jenny and I went to Boston to visit ye, I kent ye were dating, nothing serious Jenny tells me but I felt…well I should tell him…Aye?”

I nodded again, wondering how Jamie had felt about my sporadic unsuccessful dates, yet he wouldn’t have known that they were just that unsuccessful.

Ian wavered before speaking again “so I pushed him a bit to take Laoghaire out…waste of bloody time” he rolled his eyes “even if she didn’t require the patience of jobe…his heart is set on you Claire and when ye came back, even a blind man could see how he is about ye”.

Ian reached forward and squeezed my shoulder “I ken he had a notion ye might let Willie come here for a year to school and that…but Claire ye would be wrong in thinking that is just about having Willie here!” he raised his eyebrows and said, “for god sake Claire, the man has started building ye a house!” Ian’s exasperation clear in his voice. “It’s for Willie”, I said meekly. Ian let a long sigh out and rubbed his chin thoughtfully, whatever he wanted to say, he was clearly deciding whether he should tell me or not. Eventually he said “I saw those plans, afore he started building did ye ken that?” his mouth curled to one side. “no, Jamie said only his parents had seen it”, “aye that is true, he dinna bring me up yet, but before he started building, he got me to take a look at the plans see what I thought”, “oh ok”, I replied not really knowing where Ian was going with this. “written over yer little apartment was no ‘Claire’s apartment or granny flat, do ye ken what he called it?” I shook my head. “Claire’s surgery.” I swallowed hard, I could feel a lump climbing up my throat.

“Anyway”, he continued trying to steer away from me breaking down altogether, “Laoghaire may well turn up today…not as Jamie’s guest”, he added quickly, “she had been invited as she is family”, another eye roll. “I just dinna want ye thinking that she is here because of Jamie” a sheepish expression on his face. “I would say how he is feeling right now, he would gladly fire her into the mill and watch her float downstream!” Ian paused an intake of breath “it’s too late to uninvite her, as she will only cause a stramish…and Jenny will no be pleased.” We laughed at that “but I am sorry she is here and I am more sorry, I interfered at all, I shouldna have told Jamie ye were dating in Boston…its only I got the impression ye maybe were no pining after him…like he was after you…and well after Inverness…” colour creeping into Ian’s cheeks, “I can see that is no the case, ye have something special Claire, dinna throw it away”, Ian let out a sigh of relief at telling his part in all of this “god this marrit thing has gone to me head, I sound like bloody Oprah”, he finished laughing.

[thelallybrochlibrary]

It is killing me. What is the fic where jamie and Claire are exes and the first chapter is when Claire runs into him on the tube in London? Thank youuuuuuuuu

Hey Nonnie!

The story you are describing sounds a lot like The Rivers Between Us by JMoonrise. You can find it here on A03!

Happy Reading!

[jack-andthestalk]

Thanks @cant-resist-temptation SOY does indeed start on the London tube .

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

[jack-andthestalk]

Our Son, The Wedding Morning, Chapter 16.

Moodboard by the lovely @balfeheughlywed

I was grateful for three things the night before the wedding; firstly, that I had the good mind before Jamie left, to ask him to keep Willie that night, I had a hairdresser’s appointment with Jenny the next morning being my main excuse. Number two was that Jenny wanted to go to bed early due to her lingering hangover, which consequently meant I didn’t have to sit up drinking champagne and trying not to let her see I had been an emotional wreck moments before. Number three was the sleeping tablets I had brought with me for flying, I swallowed one and downed two glasses of wine from the fridge. I barely remembered my head touching the pillow.

I woke the following morning and gave myself a stern talking to, I felt fresh, rested and my fighting spirit had returned. I owed Jenny Fraser soon to be Murray a lot and today was her day, it was not about me or Jamie. I intended to put my best foot forward and appreciate her special day, also make equally sure everything was as it should be for her.

We returned to Lallybroch from a giggly morning sipping champagne in the hairdressers. The morning was ladies only, with the male party getting ready in Jamie’s cottage. I hadn’t spotted him that morning, and I was thankful of that in order to keep my newly positive attitude ongoing. 

A beautician was coming to the main house to do our make-up. We laughed and reminisced about Jenny’s early days with Ian, Ellen telling funny stories about Jamie and Jenny as children. We went up to Jenny’s room to get dressed, Dressing Jenny first, she looked stunning, one of the most beautiful brides I had ever seen. Ellen placed a pearl necklace around her neck and said “yer something old love”, Jenny smiled back and said “aye and I ken ye told me I have to give them back”, Ellen nodded, “that is right they are Jamie’s to give to his wife, when he weds.” she looked at me softly and said “and I dinna think Claire would appreciate ye taking them on her.”

“I don’t think so Ellen” I said smiling and shaking my head, face downcast. Hoping to god that the tears threatening to fall didn’t show in my eyes. “Dinna laugh at me” Ellen said playfully. “Jamie Fraser has nay had eyes for anyone since ye came with Lamb four years ago, isna that right Janet?”

Jenny rolled her eyes at her mother “will ya stop mam ye are embarrassing Claire, ye will not be happy until he produces that ring again!” Jenny said breezily, admiring herself in the full length mirror as she spoke.

“What ring?” I stuttered out. Jenny’s eyes went wide for a minute and she threw an imploring look at Ellen. Whatever she had said, it was a mistake.

Ellen looked at me and took my two hands in hers, “its nay Jenny’s story to tell aye…she shouldna said anything.”

My eyes filled with tears, Ellen sighed and took a moment to think, she pressed her lips together and cautiously said “he brought a ring to Boston before, please dinna ask any more Claire cause I really canna say.” Ellen blurted and then threw a stern look at the bride.

Silence consumed the room. I kept looking at my ring finger. Did Ellen mean Jamie had come to Boston to propose? When?

“Well then” Jenny cleared her throat and said “I think it is time we went downstairs to see what Da thinks of us.” I tried to rid my dazzled brain of all thoughts of rings and made my way down stairs holding Jenny’s train.

_________

Jenny had come to Boston to shop for her wedding and bridesmaid dress, we had a boozy lunch and then hit the bridal boutiques. Jenny had let me feel in control of what I choose, although I knew she had an exact design in mind and until we hit on it we would play the “ach that is lovely Claire but I dinna think it suits ye” game. Eventually for her own dress, she settled on a 40’s style vintage gown with beautiful lace detail. Jenny had steered me towards, a two piece dress, the skirt was tulle and floaty, it was icy blue in color. Jenny said it matched the Fraser eyes, I remember standing in the shop and thinking of Jamie’s eyes, not Willies or Jenny’s but Jamie’s, absently remembering they were much bluer and warmer than the skirt.

The top was white silk, a round neck and sleeveless. Jenny seen my hesitance at wearing something so girlie, sold it by saying “Ach Claire, it has pockets for yer wee bits”. Practicality out winning for me, secretly I wanted to look good. Even over a year ago when I picked that dress, I bought it thinking of what Jamie would think of me when he saw me in it. Now walking back up to my cottage to retrieve my camera and phone, hair piled on top of my head and a warm breeze hitting my face, I felt positively swishy and girl like, a very uncommon feeling for me.

Approaching my cottage I spotted Ian, Jamie and Willie outside having their photos taken by the photographer. Jamie had his hand draped around Ian’s shoulder and was holding Willie in his arms, he looked decadent, breath takingly handsome and my heart released a pang for him and only for him. I tried to brush it off and proceeded on to see them, “Oh my, you boys scrub up well!” I announced cheerfully. Jamie was going to get my friendliest version of me for the day, it was his sister’s wedding and whatever was going on between us, I knew I cared enough about him to make sure he enjoyed it too.

They hadn’t spotted me until I spoke, so when they turned to look Ian’s broad smile and whistling gesture made me blush. Jamie’s mouth hung open a little, eyes wider than normal, a little pride ran from the pit of my tummy to my face at the affect I had on him. He didn’t speak. I went to fix the flower in Willie’s lapel, he wrapped his little arms around my neck and said “yer the prettiest girl here mama”, I tut tutted him and said “you haven’t seen your aunty Jenny yet.” When I looked up Jamie was staring at me, he quickly glanced away.

The photographer on seeing me, checked a list from his pocket and said “the bride has asked that we get one shot of her brother, his son and Claire?” eyebrows creased in question to see if I was Claire. “yep that is me” I said helpfully. “Great can I get one of you over by the tree.” Jamie, Willie and I made for the tree, Willie taking a hand each and swinging between us, shouting eagerly “look at me mama” and “higher Da”. The photographer probably seeing this family scene unfold before him presumed wrongly Jamie was my husband, and I his wife. “ok if you two can bend down on your hunkers as if chatting to your little lad there”, we both willingly obliged, “now Jamie if you can put your arm around your wife’s shoulders, yes just like that…” Jamie didn’t correct him just followed his instructions. “Aye that’s it and if ye two can look at each other, and wee Willie here can look up at ye”, the photographer continued. “Jamie I don’t think…”, I tried to point out these poses were going to appear if we were man and wife if we didn’t correct him. “ssh Claire, let the man do his work” was all I got in response from Jamie, he has to look directly at me for the pose, he took it to another level by boring into my eyes. The second time the photographer referred to me as Jamie’s wife, I opened my mouth to speak, Jamie just squeezed my shoulder tighter. Suddenly the ring and him bringing it to Boston was foremost in my mind and I couldn’t bring myself to say it either. The photographer positioned us into a pose and snapped several times, finally saying, “they are great thank you, ye are a good looking family.”

By the time we were finished with the photographer, Ian was standing near the tree waiting. I presumed they had to get more shots taken and made to head for the cottage. Ian called me back “Claire can I have a quick word?” Jamie shot him a look and Ian offered “just something I have for Jenny…” Jamie’s face relaxed slightly and I made to walk up to my cottage with Ian.

I waited looking at Ian expectantly once we reached the cottage, “are you ok Ian? You look nervous?” he was looking over my shoulder for a minute and he looked back at me absentmindedly “Mmm…oh aye ya just a wee bit nervous…how is Jenny” he started, “Oh she is so excited, she looks amazing, wait until you see her”, I replied.

His face lit up at hearing about Jenny, and then grew serious again, “I eh..I..actually wanted to talk to ye about Jamie, Claire.” My face instantly went red, “what…I mean..what do you want to say about Jamie?” I stuttered out.

“weel”, he started, “I heard Laoghaire came by his place yesterday and said somethings to ye that were unpleasant” he said the last word as if he had dirt in his mouth. “She didn’t actually say anything to me, but she made sure I heard” I explained, my gaze stuck to the ground, humiliation creeping up on me again at the memory. “Aye weel, Jamie isna good at … the truth of it Claire is that when it comes to ye, Jamie loses all sensible reason…so I wanted to speak to ye on his behalf as such…although I ken fine well he may no appreciate it.” He pursed his lips and bowed his head, for reassurance he could continue.

I swallowed and nodded, “Ian this is your wedding day, you don’t need to worry yourself about me or Jamie, honestly we are both grown-ups”, I said smiling. I really didn’t want this, Ian did not have to take up his time with Jamie or me, especially today.

“No Claire” he said surely, “I do.”

“I set Jamie up with Laoghaire a couple of months back, she is a cousin of mine…aye?” he blurted out. Seeing I wasn’t interrupting, he kept going.

“Claire…I ken you may no feel like believing Jamie at the moment but I hope ye have some faith in what I tell ye”, a shy smile appearing on his lips.

“The thing is …well…Jamie has never moved on really from ye since ye came that first time and Willie or no, I think he always hoped that there might be some future for ye…he hadna well…he hadna passed too much heed to any woman since Willie was born and to be honest Claire, I dinna think it was healthy…then when Jenny and I went to Boston to visit ye, I kent ye were dating, nothing serious Jenny tells me but I felt…well I should tell him…Aye?”

I nodded again, wondering how Jamie had felt about my sporadic unsuccessful dates, yet he wouldn’t have known that they were just that unsuccessful.

 Ian wavered before speaking again “so I pushed him a bit to take Laoghaire out…waste of bloody time” he rolled his eyes “even if she didn’t require the patience of jobe…his heart is set on you Claire and when ye came back, even a blind man could see how he is about ye”.

Ian reached forward and squeezed my shoulder “I ken he had a notion ye might let Willie come here for a year to school and that…but Claire ye would be wrong in thinking that is just about having Willie here!” he raised his eyebrows and said, “for god sake Claire, the man has started building ye a house!” Ian’s exasperation clear in his voice. “It’s for Willie”, I said meekly. Ian let a long sigh out and rubbed his chin thoughtfully, whatever he wanted to say, he was clearly deciding whether he should tell me or not. Eventually he said “I saw those plans, afore he started building did ye ken that?” his mouth curled to one side. “no, Jamie said only his parents had seen it”, “aye that is true, he dinna bring me up yet, but before he started building, he got me to take a look at the plans see what I thought”, “oh ok”, I replied not really knowing where Ian was going with this. “written over yer little apartment was no ‘Claire’s apartment or granny flat, do ye ken what he called it?” I shook my head. “Claire’s surgery.” I swallowed hard, I could feel a lump climbing up my throat.

“Anyway”, he continued trying to steer away from me breaking down altogether, “Laoghaire may well turn up today…not as Jamie’s guest”, he added quickly, “she had been invited as she is family”, another eye roll. “I just dinna want ye thinking that she is here because of Jamie” a sheepish expression on his face. “I would say how he is feeling right now, he would gladly fire her into the mill and watch her float downstream!” Ian paused an intake of breath “it’s too late to uninvite her, as she will only cause a stramish…and Jenny will no be pleased.” We laughed at that “but I am sorry she is here and I am more sorry, I interfered at all, I shouldna have told Jamie ye were dating in Boston…its only I got the impression ye maybe were no pining after him…like he was after you…and well after Inverness…” colour creeping into Ian’s cheeks, “I can see that is no the case, ye have something special Claire, dinna throw it away”, Ian let out a sigh of relief at telling his part in all of this “god this marrit thing has gone to me head, I sound like bloody Oprah”, he finished laughing.

[jack-andthestalk]

Our Son, Trust. Chapter 15.

As ususo credit to @balfeheughlywed for the fab moodboard

I quickly turned on the tv and plonked an oblivious Willie in front of it, I grabbed some snacks for him. Once he was settled I made for the bedroom, my heart was beating at an unhealthy pace, my hands sweaty and tears burning behind my eyes. I went to the bathroom and ran the taps over my wrists, trying and failing to stop tears pour down my cheeks. God what I would have given to be able to run for the airport, but I still had to get through the fucking wedding, Christ what a mess. What a fool.

I couldn’t say how long I sat on that bathroom floor weeping, for my stupidity, for my anger, for me and for Willie. It took me a while to register the pounding at the cottage door, it was Willie’s voice saying “Da is outside Mama” that brought be out of my reverie. Fuck, if I didn’t open the door, Willie certainly would.

I used my sleeve to wipe my tears away. There was no hiding from him. I took a quick glance at my reflection in the mirror, I half thought of washing my face but I knew it wouldn’t make a blind bit of difference. My eyes were thoroughly fucked.

By the time I made it out to the kitchen, Willie was opening the door. Jamie came striding in by him, ignoring Willie was a rarity for Jamie. He was on a mission, a panicked look on his face. “Claire let me explain”, he stammered out.

I motioned my head to Willie who had resumed his horizontal position on the couch. He opened my bedroom door and said “Can I talk to ye in here…please?” I looked back at Willie and sighed. “Fine but be quick, I don’t want Willie to think there is something wrong.” He nodded. My face would do that all on its own, I thought absentmindedly.

Jamie shut the bedroom door behind him. I stood at the window looking out, I didn’t want to face him.

“I ken ye heard what she said, but Claire its nay the truth”, he sighed deeply then and hesitated “not all of it anyway…” he said more gently.

“What is true?”

Silence.

“Jamie, if you want to talk you had better do that because otherwise get out.”

He cleared his throat, I decided I would make the bastard squirm and turned to face him. He walked two steps hesitantly towards me, I put the palms of my hands up and said “don’t touch me, just tell me the truth Jamie.”

Tipping something invisible on the carpet with the top of his foot.

Cautiously he began, “Before ye came, I asked Laoghaire to nay come out as much, to give me time with ye…and Willie”

I swallowed, blinked back the onslaught on tears and said “I see, and why did you want to do that?”

He raked his hand through his hair, “honestly?” I nodded “I wanted ye alone, I wanted to spend time with you, and I wanted to show ye what Willie’s life is like when he is here.”

“Why did Laoghaire agree”, it came out as no more than a whisper, I was afraid of the answer afraid of how I would feel knowing he discussed me with her, plotted even.

“Surely you telling her you wanted to spend time with me, me… merely a quickie from your past, an historic conquest  …a fuck that ended up being the mother of your child” vitriol was spilling out of my mouth, to punish him, but also to punish me because that is how I saw myself now. A fool who was merely someone to try and swoon, so he could have his son in Scotland.

His face was blazing red, I’d hit a nerve, he was furious. “Why are ye talking, like that, ye never have ever been any of those things to me Claire.” he growled.

“Oh c'mon Jamie, who are you kidding, you lied to me, that is how important I am to you…all of this time you planned all this…” my hands gestured from me to him “all of this just so I would let Willie move to Scotland or I would be fool enough to think you wanted me here and to bring your son with me!” I spat.

“This has never been about me, it’s only been about Willie.”

A sound came from Jamie that I could only akin to a roar, his eyes were wild. “It has always been about you Claire!, how can ye no ken that?"I heard the crash of ceramic before I registered that he had knocked the bedside table over with his fist. He took two strides towards me, glaring and grabbing me by my forearms "It has always been about you!!”

“You’re a lying bastard and you don’t want to admit it to yourself!” I yelled. Pushing him back into his chest. “You were able to plot with your girlfriend to make me believe… ..to…lie to me…and tell her!” you said I was yours” ‘Ye are mine and only mine’

“…well now I know why, you don’t want me, you want me for Willie…you can live your life with her! Laoghaire? You plotted this with her did you not? She knew the truth!”

“I dinna want Laoghaire and I never have!” he roared.

“I don’t believe a words that comes from your mouth Jamie”, I hissed, angry tears sprung from my eyes.

Suddenly his face softened, “mo graidgh dinna weep”, his hand reached to touch my face. I turned my head “please don’t Jamie.”

He bowed his head and inhaled deeply, he spoke so softly when he started again, “yes I did want to speak to ye, about you and Willie coming here, just to try it for a year to see would ye come. I wanted him to have one year in school here, I wanted to see if you maybe would like it, I kent it was a big ask, but I thought it was worth the ask, to have ye both here.” His chin quivered a bit, I knew he was holding back any emotion from his face and it was starting to seep out regardless.

“I shouldna never have told Laoghaire, but as soon as I mentioned ye were coming, she was like a fucking sticking plaster, I kent she would try and spend every waking moment out here once ye came and I wanted to spend time with ye..  .yes maybe broach the subject of you and Willie coming here for a year to see if ye liked it but more than anything Claire I just wanted to see you and spend time with you!… And aye I was a coward I should have told her straight out…I can tell ye one thing it was no from considering her feelings that I didna.”

He leaned his back up against the wall and let his head fall back looking up at the ceiling. “when she came to the paddocks that first day, I was so pissed off. He smiled ruefully for a minute, something flashed across his eyes and he took me in, ” I forgot in a way ya ken, of what i am like around ye, I see nothing beyond you Claire and you may no believe me but that is the truth. I wanted to tell her to fuck off there and then but ye were watching me and I kent how it would look. When she spoke to ye like that in the kitchen, I knew it was the final straw. So on the way to the funfair I pulled up at her place and told her I dinna want to see her anymore. I brought Willie to the funfair on my own. I told her the truth then, I thought it was only fair to the lass…“

He brought his head back then to look at me, to gauge my reaction.

Walking towards me so that there was only an inch between us, "I have made a fucking mess of this but I swear to you Claire, what happened here with you, its real, its no part of a game I am playing, I canna do anything else when ye are around but want you”. He said gently.

"Maybe that is the truth Jamie, but right now I can only see that you conspired with your girlfriend to move Willie back here, but you couldn’t find it in your heart to speak to me about it?” I closed my eyes for a minute and wiped away the tears, this would be the last time he would see me cry. He and her could both go fuck themselves. “You have been my partner with Willie since the day he was born, I trust no one completely but you when it comes to him, I would never ever discuss anything about his life, his future, my worries for him but with you!…yet you felt able to discuss his living arrangements with a stranger to me and to Willie.”

“Claire I dinna discuss it with her, I promise ye…I wanted her to give me time…I shouldha just been straight with the lass, but I was afraid she would create blue murder while ye were here…so I said we needed time to talk about Willie and maybe see if we could talk about trying to live here…I never said more than that…I swear!”

His hands were outstretched as if to block me should I run for the door.

Eventually I said "I am tired Jamie, I don’t think there is anything more to say, when he get back to Boston, we can discuss Willie maybe having more time here, I have obviously no notion of wanting to live here, my life is in Boston.”

“Claire I can see ye are shutting me out… please dinna…”

“I am” I said with finality, “I am going to preserve whatever dignity I have left and try and get through the next couple of days, for Jenny’s sake, I hope we can use our maturity and respect for each other to continue to co parent Willie as we did before.”

“It was my fault too”, I said smiling sadly at him, “I made the mistake of thinking this was more.”

[jack-andthestalk]

Our Son, To Bed?, Chapter 12.

Credit for this brilliant moodboard that I love goes to @balfeheughlywed

Thank you for all the fantastic comments, please comment it’s definitely what keeps me writing. Anywho ye know the drill NSFW so…

What Jamie said about Willie being enough, effected me in considerably but the quick statement of ‘not wanting bairns with anyone else’ undid me completely. My first thought on Jamie’s declaration was to get him alone and tell him how much what he had said meant to me, my second thought was I would like to show him. 

There was one barrier to getting time alone with Jamie, which was his sister was steadily getting drunker by the minute, Jenny wanted the night to continue in the bar. After dessert and boozy coffees, I made a trip to the bathroom to reapply some lip balm and cool my hands and face. I came out of the toilets, to find Jamie leaning up against the wall opposite, holding my wine glass and bag. “Ian and Jenny are gone back to the bar for a night cap, I have promised we will join them for one and then I am gonna go to bed!” he explained. “Oh, ok” I replied not sure where that left me but before I could say any more he added “and you will be coming with me” his voice sounded determined, he pressed his lips together in a thin line. I bridged some of the gap between us and said “Oh will I now? And what makes you think I would want to do that?” a wicked smile forming on my lips. He moved forward and whispered “Aye ye will, and I am afraid ye will have to…I am in desperate need of time alone with ye”, we paused for a moment as someone passed us on the corridor.  

“I see” I said contemplatively.   “Have you a secret to tell me then Mr Fraser?”  I asked seductively. I was fast excelling at this game. Jamie smirked, “Ye have no idea Sassenach”, he breathed. He leaned forward slightly and brushed his lips against mine, and discreetly dragged his tongue along my bottom lip, his hands came behind me and ghosted over my arse.  Heat pooled between my legs at his feather light touch and I couldn’t see how I was going to manage to sit through a nightcap before we could get upstairs. “Do you not think they will notice if we both leave together?” I murmured into his mouth, biting his bottom lip as I said it. “A low groan came from his mouth, “Christ Claire yer gonna kill me… no they…won’t mmp… no they willna notice… Jenny is too far gone and Ian is too preoccupied with how many bairns she will give him”.

I laughed at that “ok, let’s have a nightcap before bed then?” I walked in front of him putting a little sway into my step. “Ifrinn” I heard him mutter behind me.  

By the time Jamie and I made it to the bar, Ian had ordered us four large cognacs. I added a still water to the order and Ian remarked “wise lady Claire”, glancing in Jenny’s direction.  Jenny rolled her eyes and took a gulp of the cognac. Fortunately the discussion of how many children they should have was forgotten, Ian had moved onto discussing horses with Jamie that they were considering buying. Jenny had side-lined me into discussing how she should wear her eye make-up for her big day. Every now and then Jamie’s foot nudged mine and he eyed my glass. Drink up.  

When eventually Jamie made to leave, I yawned and stretched slightly. “are ye tired Claire, a night camping can wreck ye out when yer no use to it”, Jamie said with no hint of insincerity in his voice. He was good.  “Wrecked” I replied, my voice only a pitch higher than usual but not obvious enough to cause suspicion. “I think I will head to bed too actually.” I added. 

“Ach c’mon, it’s not even 11pm yet! Ye canna be going to bed yet, it’s my wedding week an I dinna wanna go to bed” Jenny said sullenly. 

“Weel maybe ye should Janet”, Jamie replied curtly,

“c’mon Sassenach, dinna mind her, she will be sorry in the morning” Jamie continued self-righteously, glaring at his sister while giving me his hand to rise.  

By the time we made it out to the corridor we were both giggling, pleased that we had managed to slip from Jenny’s persistent advances. Jamie pulled my hand so I turned to face him and said “I have ordered champagne to be sent up to my room, are ye interested?” a knowing smile spread across his lips, my stomach flipped. “Lead the way Mr Fraser.” 

We shared the lift with an older couple, strangers to us so we kept our hands entwined and silly smiles on our lips, stifling our giggles when we caught the older gentleman patting her bum. 

We kept hold of that bubbling giddiness right up until Jamie slided his key card through the lock, Once inside the room, we took each other in for a second. a nervous energy ran between us. I looked away from his gaze, unable to look at him, biting my bottom lip, I eventually looked back up at Jamie through my lashes. My vulnerability showing. My seductive bravado had all but evaporated, reality had a sobering effect. It had been so long since we were intimate with each other, and it was hard to think of any other outcome than us sleeping together given the way things had been steadily building since I landed in Scotland, I wanted him badly, but there were so many conversations that needed to happen first.

Where would this leave us? Were we only complicating something that was already complicated enough? Willie? Boston/Scotland? Us? Laoghaire?

 All of those conversations would have to wait and I knew that was not a good choice, but it was the only choice I was willing to make.

The intensity of my feelings were like a repeat of the last time together and we knew how that had ended. Not just Willie but the secret heartbreak of us not working or not making it work, I couldn’t even explain what went wrong, could I face that again?  

 Jamie was looking at me intently, his head tilted to the side as if considering how to approach a wild horse. Eventually he whispered “c’mere Sassenach, we have no reason to be scairt of each other.” His hand reached out for me and pulled me into his embrace.

Without room for further thought, Jamie brought his lips to mine and I dissolved into him, his mouth on mine, searching wanting. None of it was enough. My hands found the belt on his jeans and I pulled him to me, hands wandering up and over his chest, until I reached his neck and face. His hands settled for a moment on my hips and found their way around to the front of my dress to untie it, he looked up at me for consent first. With one nod, he had my dress pooled in a heap on the floor. I stood before him in my black luckily matching underwear, his eyes took me in and he ran a palm down over my breasts and stomach until he reached the waist band of my pants. Just above my waist line were little marks, which Willie’s birth had left. He felt them with his palm, used his index finger to trace them and then bent to trail kisses over them. My breath hitched, I held onto the hair at the nape of his neck,eventually dragging him back up to me. I hurriedly unbuttoned his shirt and swept it over his shoulders, moving to unbutton his jeans. I could feel him throbbing and ready beneath them.

Standing in just our underwear, his eyes swallowed me whole, wandering up and down my body. Jamie smiled tentatively at me. “Ye are the most beautiful woman Claire, do ye even ken that?” his voice husky. I didn’t trust myself to speak but merely moved my lips to his again, this time I ran my fingers in and under the waist band of his underwear, teasingly. Something like a low growl escaped his lips and he pulled me to stand flush with him, with one nudge on my upper thighs, I knew he meant up. I wrapped my legs around him and we made it to the bed, biting, tasting, groping.

He crawled on top of me, kissing from my thighs up and over my torso, arriving at my lips. Smiling into them before kissing me thoroughly, enjoying the feel of our bodies against each other, throbbing like a heart beats. He rolled us until I lay on top of him where he promptly unclasped my bra and covered them with his large hands, cupping them as if to weigh them. “I used to be jealous of Willie when ye were nursing him” he said smirking at me. I swotted him with my hands, “idiot” I declared. I clenched my thighs tighter and started rotating my hips. I could feel every inch of him under me. I started gently biting his chest, and kept going until I was level with his crotch. Lowering his underwear with my teeth, I took him in my mouth, his hands came down to my hair. “Sassenach if ye do that…I willna…oh god Claire…” his hands gently encouraging what his voice was telling me to stop. I kept up my ministrations, I could feel his hip movements towards my mouth getting quicker and quicker, his breath coming rapid, words and mutterings becoming less and less coherent until suddenly he pulled me up and splayed me on my back. Tearing my pants down and off me in one fluid motion. “That took a lot of will power to stop ye, but I have waited a long time to have ye in my bed  again and I dinna plan on not pleasing ye first” he whispered. I felt the strength of his hands on my arse lifting me up towards his mouth. He began kissing down my inner thigh, tentatively looking up through hooded eyes at me. The look was almost enough to finish me there and then, I was hot, I was wet, and I was more than ready for him. I quivered and a raspy breath fell from my mouth, when I felt his tongue inside of me. Which he used proficiently until I was screaming silently into the pillows, calling his name, unable to see anything but white flashing before my eyes.

Just when I started to come around again, I heard his voice come from just under my breast “ I hope yer are not as dead as ye look, cause I want ya… badly!”, I pulled him by the ears and thrust my hips at him so he could enter me. He came into me hard and I cried out his name. “a..Fuck…Claire I am no sure how long…”

 To have him inside me again, the feel of him already tantalising every nerve in my body.

“move” I instructed, “I need you” I grabbed hold behind his neck and pulled him down to me, then grabbing his arse and guiding him at the pace I needed over and over, every thrust caused a sound to come from my mouth that sounded foreign to me. His hips moving faster and harder over and over until I could bear no more, my climax building and building. I absently thought it was just as well the castle had kept the big thick stone walls because the volume of my cry’s were getting louder and louder. The feel of his body strong and guided by me, only for me. His movements were becoming more frenzied, harder and deeper, my hips rising to his every thrust to take him deeper. “Claire..” softly my name falling from his lips into my neck “oh god Claire.” The end came as a surprise to both of us, crept up into a release so powerful that I felt it vibrate through every inch of my body and the aftershocks of Jamie’s orgasm blissfully delaying the sensations of mine. It took a long time for our breathing to become normal again. Jamie eventually rolled on his back staring up at the ceiling a very dazed look in his eye, “god that was …” he started. “Good” I finished for him breathlessly. My vocabulary not at its best, while my body recovered. He rolled slightly to look at me slowly “that is an understatement” he said sounding stunned. “mmm, better than good” I offered. He snorted “aye…dinna think there are words just now to do it justice Sassenach”

He rolled on his side and absently played with my nipple, making me squirm a bit with all the sensations running through me. “I was so far through with just yer mouth Sassenach I thought it would be finished before it began and my reputation would be ruined!” he said jokingly. I giggled “What reputation Fraser?” he looked thoughtfully at me, cupping my cheeks and searching my face until he landed on my eyes. “The one I have with you” he said seriously, “that is the only one that matters.”

[jack-andthestalk]

24, 34, 36 🙂

24. Do you remember the moment you decided to become a writer/author?

Ha now the thing is I wouldn’t describe myself as either of those but Nonnie thanks for thinking I could be.

The first time I decided to write some fanfic . I was out on a hike and daydreaming about Jamie Claire scenarios … a regular thing I do ☺️ when I kind of just thought sure will I write this down when I get home and see how it feels!

34. Unpopular writing thoughts/opinions?

Em don’t just stick an iconic line in for the sake of it… think about your own version of J/C and if it fits with them.

36. Post a snippet

Jamie coughed “Eh no man sorry I’m here for Claire…” his tone lower, nervous almost.

“Oh right well ye had better be quick, she is in there getting ready for a date…” another crunch and a loud belch.

“Aye, I’m the date….”

I emerged from the bathroom just in time to see Rupert eyes widen and he looked at Jamie appraisingly. “I see….” , sticking his tongue between his teeth absently trying to dislodge something.