Not Your Average Tumblr

just your average tumblr

[mancydrew]

every time i burp it tastes like Arby’s

[puncromancer]

and every time we kiss I swear I can fly

[plant-folk]

[crunchingonicedcoffeesugar]

*blows kiss up to the sky (for the aliens)*

[hannahhhbieberrr-deactivated201]

*blows kiss to iPhone screen (for the dumb person who posted this)*

[crunchingonicedcoffeesugar]

sorry you didnt like this hannah bieber hercules, shoot me an email and we can discuss what content you’d rather see in the future. 

[toshio]

[just-shower-thoughts]

A cactus is just a really aggresive cucumber.

[meanplastic]

[toadoasis]

Me: *listening to various genres of god knows what* Spotify trying to make my discover weekly:

[portsherry]

[portsherry]

The Frog Prince

We both knew this wouldn’t last.

Well, I knew.

Now available as a print on the store.

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[notyouraveragekatie]

[bittern]

physically, yes, i could fight a bird. but emotionally? imagine the toll

[bahookies]

someone: where do you see yourself in 10 years?

me: 

[sleepsafe]

i like all those secret dogs underneath very stealthy

[idioticteen]

listening to your favorite band with your friend

[chadgamer]

your heart is a muscle the size of a rat

[lesbianredpanda]

SPONGE BOB SQUARE PANTS

[extradatesadded]

“Come on, sweetie. Eat your barackolli”

[neuksei-deactivated20200222]

Me to a 5 yr old: so how do you keep your skin so clear??

[smushee]

There’s this girl at my school and she’s really nice and I remember sometime last year at one point she would carry a clicker around and click it everytime she had a happy thought/something good happened/she laughed etc. It was always kind of cute how you’d just hear the little click every once in a while throughout class it always made me smile knowing that it was bc something made her feel happy idk

[blackwoolncrown]

she was training herself to be happy oh my god

[glumshoe]

When my dad was a teenager, he accidentally started working for a restaurant that was a front for the local mafia. He flipped burgers for a semester and then, when he wanted to leave, one of the members pulled a gun on him and said he couldn’t. “Oh, fuck off,” said the guy’s superior. “Really, man? He just flips burgers, and he’s not even good at it. Let him go, dumbass.”

and that was my dad’s brush with organized crime

[racing-faster]