🖤🦅 the audacity of this bird mouth sonuva bitch

Your home for Pulitzer Prize nominated Jake Puncromancer content. Before you follow: blease highly consider following Duckling @Aggressionbread (we're a package deal) and all around Aesthetic Queen Liz @Chiqitadave (url subject to change violently and erratically). Puncromancer Enterprises LLC is a division of Chiqitadave Enterprises

[puncromancer]

nothing like a little platonic frottage between bros

[puncromancer]

so just a normal hug

[puncromancer]

froternity of brotherhood

[viralfrog]

[eternalgirlscout]

you can't say "hydrogen bomb vs coughing baby" on a poll with a 60/40 split. that's hydrogen bomb vs regular bomb

[prokopetz]

Pipe bomb versus somewhat smaller pipe bomb.

[camjamclassic]

my boyfriend gave me this unbranded chapstick from his dentist and it’s so good that it’s corrupting me like the fucking one true ring

[camjamclassic]

it’s soft and moisturizing and smells amazing. i will go out of my way to use it instead of any other chapstick. last night i went to put some on before bed and couldn’t find it and my immediate first thought was “someone stole it because it’s so much better than regular chapstick.” INSANE thing to think

[camjamclassic]

my boyfriend went back to the dentist and he insists they didn’t give him a chapstick this time but i know he’s lying so he can keep it to himself. to the dungeons with you

[beanbagbuddies4life]

Scoop the Pelican

via

Born July 1, 1996

All day long he scoops up fish To fill his bill, is his wish Diving fast and diving low Hoping those fish are very slow!

Scoop was a Teenie Beanie as well!

In 1998, Scoop was given out with a commemorative card to the first 5000 children to attend the Houston Comets vs Phoenix Mercury game!

[mancydrew]

i have been entirely consumed by the entity that is shapez 2 (the sequel to shapez). i eat, sleep, and breathe shapes. i spend my days dreaming of how to make my shapez in a more efficient way. should i use the cutter or the half splitter? is there a way to make painting more compact with greater output? i long for the days where i could make 1 shape from a single module. i do not need sleep. i need shapez 2 (the sequel to shapez)

[o6eiyrskb4hg7rix8hih-deactivate]

just ate an orange… no scurvy for me thank you… #NoScurvy

[chewbacca]

Heath Ledger in A Knight's Tale (2001)

[thecolorofthegame]

I know this trophy is supposed to represent a triathlon, but it looks like a cyclist award for attacking pedestrians

[targetedknowledge]

[durbikins]

The new Rhythm Heaven did the funniest shit possible and just put stock images in the game set to music.

"Nice argument, however, I have presented myself as the tea drinking chad and you as the cocoacel."

[aggressionbread]

Nintendo looooves a floating head with hands boss

[aggressionbread]

Duck drink!!!

[slopforhogs]

Boar-pig hybrid (Sus scrofa x Sus domesticus)

“Piglets together” by Tambako The Jaguar, CC BY-ND 2.0

(x)

[meangirlnurse]

oh my god

[meangirlnurse]

[fiightingdreamers]

Went to Pittsburgh this weekend to hang out with friends but what I really wanna talk about is the ihop next to the hotel whose franchise owner seems uninterested in hiring to solve a lawn care problem and has let it grow in to such an extent that I assumed it was out of business and abandoned until we came back at night and saw it was lit up and open

[galaxywarp]

The Celery Man

[bogleech]

Maybe he'd have noticed if he could take a single minute from crunching and munching that celery 🙄

[gofuckyourselfwithyouratombomb]