OSHA violation crow boy

I'm nervous and confused like a teacup Chihuahua at the groomers

[notyourcaptainnemo]

Introduction✨

I'm a R18+ writer, love cats, he/they, and am hyperfixated on BNHA at the moment.

Like ShinZawa and the occasional ShinKami fanfiction? My AO3✨Must be 18+🙂‍↕️

No, I do not know how to use social media, thanks for asking. I bet your grandma could figure this out better than me.

Goth farmer 🫡 Yes, my chickens are black.

Die-hard monsterfucker; we into that weird shit here.

I am Ace 🖤🩶💜 though, so I'm always studying new topics to write about since I don't "get" most of it by default.

[notyourcaptainnemo]

You're officially my favorite ao3 author no take-backsies! HOLY SHIITTTTT, I spent way too many hours binge reading your fics since i found it and the amount of knuckle biting I did—lemme tell you i was on the verge of losing my sanity. Your writing is legitimately so delectable, like print it out and eat it delectable. I've read smut for years and nothing made me hold my breath as much as your shinzawa fics—the holy grail of bnha fics in my opinion! I adore how obsessive they are for each and on the very edge of losing their sanity everytime they think of one another, like damn. DAMN. And the way you write intimacy, I cannot get over it! The adoration, the sense of peace, of how looking at the person of their affection makes the whole world blur to only focus on them—it isn't even if I could live in your skin, it's if I could hold you and know you more and more everyday; the way you write them makes me believe that soulmates exist. Truly.

top tier, I will never get over it. I'll be thinking about your fics till the day I die. ∞/10 it's straight up crack cocaine, I feel like Edward Cullen after he got of whiff of Bella.

This was so nice I put the email in my favorites folder 😭

I'm so shocked and happy to hear I've moved someone so much that I've basically written their "romance isn't dead" and been compared to cocaine 😭😭

Legitimately got me to open up my pending stories and want to start writing again! I'll try to get back to writing a little each day like I used to so I can give you some more hours of entertainment!

Thank you for going out of your way to tell me this! And thank you for reading! <3

[submissiveaizawa]

now how can I make shinsou and all might fuck

[submissiveaizawa]

obviously I could go the all might is an old pervert route but unlike aizawa all might is big giving innocent virgin vibe (likely bc he canonically is one). smo shinsou needs to initiate.

shinsou very much would I think. he wants that old man dick so so bad. he's so so into rape and by fucking all might he can both pretend he's an innocent boy being abused by an older man and actually actively assault a cute old man. and all might would feel so so so guilty and sad about it. he'd whine and pout but he would absolutely enjoy it and hate himself for it.

[notyourcaptainnemo]

Oh boy 👀 Summon the rats. @cyberrat

All Might is so innocent and naive, that Shinsou being such a persuasive silver-tongued minx would probably just attempt to convince AM this needs to happen as a "heehoo I'll just take a few shots at the Asylum Demon in Dark Souls for funsies" moment and then realized how easy it would be, and make it his goal of the week to collect this notch for his belt.

And by god, he will rape/be raped by this frail old man.

[eraserhide]

aizawa doing things to shinsou that shinsou does to animals . . .

eg. saying "squish" when lightly pushing a cats head down, lightly petting their head very rapidly, booping their nose after a yawn

[notyourcaptainnemo]

Reoccurring brain worm of Shinzawa being little gay farmers is crawling up my back again

WAITWAITWAIT STOP. LISTEN. HERE ME OUT.

Shinsou being mischievous and bored like "I wonder if I could sneak a chicken in the house and how long it would take Shouta to notice"

Walking around with a bantam in his pocket or the hood of his hoodie, doing dishes or making dinner, trying to act all normal

Aizawa noticing immediately but letting Shinsou play around a while

Eventually just yoinking the bird from him when its time for dinner and taking her back outside without a word

😩

💜🖤

[notyourcaptainnemo]

Shinsou referring to Aizawa as "the six-foot tall man who lives in my house."

Treats Aizawa like a cryptid: Don't look directly in the eyes (frightens the 'tism), rarely perceived (is practically nocturnal), don't react to the presence (doesn't want to interrupt or get in the way), leave offerings (will just starve without snacks so as to not disrupt the house when awake at ungodly hours or make a mess)

Does all the handyman work, and building and fixing, and painting, and only occasionally lights things on fire unintentionally

Lights things on fire intentionally quite often

Aizawa extracting eggs from a broody hen and pulling out a kitten. Scolding their barn cat when she comes up demanding to know what he's doing with her child. "Beverly is NOT a good babysitter! She is a terrible mother!"

Has mastered the practice of planting with the lunar cycles and is a whole encyclopedia on anything edible or toxic in their immediate vicinity

Does the most to maintain all the weird plants Shinsou finds/orders because Shinsou kinda just likes the concept of gardening and sucks at taking care of the plants afterward

[notyourcaptainnemo]

Reoccurring brain worm of Shinzawa being little gay farmers is crawling up my back again

WAITWAITWAIT STOP. LISTEN. HERE ME OUT.

Shinsou being mischievous and bored like "I wonder if I could sneak a chicken in the house and how long it would take Shouta to notice"

Walking around with a bantam in his pocket or the hood of his hoodie, doing dishes or making dinner, trying to act all normal

Aizawa noticing immediately but letting Shinsou play around a while

Eventually just yoinking the bird from him when its time for dinner and taking her back outside without a word

😩

💜🖤

[notyourcaptainnemo]

I have fanfiction ideas and no one to share them with 😔

[submissiveaizawa]

do you think shinsou sweet talks villains he puts under his quirk. like dogs or cats. giving them headpats and rubbing their chins and cooing at them about how they're good when they follow his orders. i bet he does and nobody who knows about it is normal about it

from the man who said "walk out of bounds like a good little hero" for no apparent reason? absolutely. he doesn't even do it on purpose, not really.

im a really big fan of my uh. own headcanon that shinsou's quirk rewires part of his brain to be very provocative--as in, be very likely to flirt, taunt, lie, etc, anything that gets a reaction out of others. it's like how katsuki sweats a lot, it's a way for his quirk to activate easier. and i think this absolutely would count as that. his brain is jumping and spinning in circles happily that he Got someone and going into Taunting Overdrive but shinsou is a little sweetheart in his soul so he just goes aww :3 you're a good boy arent you? following my orders so nicely :3 teehee

[notyourcaptainnemo]

heh

[kucka-g]

LET'S TAKE IBUPROFEN TOGETHER

[notyourcaptainnemo]

One of my dearest Shinsou HCs is that, for all his deadpan manner, he texts in the most nauseating sparkly kaomoji cutesy text he can conceive at any given moment for any given situation.

Ironically? Possibly. Maybe not.

With malicious intent? Almost certainly.

We're talking the most casual, mundane messages his poor, unsuspecting peers would've never imagined would earn them such a vitriolic response.

Asking about study questions? UwU ur asking mwee?? (=①ω①=)

Wondering if he's seen a classmate? ฅ(•ㅅ•❀)ฅ hummmnmmn..

Merely being friendly and checking up on him? ミヽ(。＞＜)ノ!!! nyaaaaa u dont have to worryyyyy☆❤ ❤ ❤

For why?

Well, probably in hopes people stop trying to talk to him.

The real humor is when he can't turn it off for professional instances, like telling Aizawa he'll be late for training.

The tremendous amounts of ways that one specifically can go wrong brings me immense joy.

There would also, unquestionably, be characters that don't even realize they're kinda being bullied and just whole-heartedly accept this level of terrorizing with open, oblivious arms. Like Midoriya and Todoroki. Wouldn't even ask or say a thing about it. It also would never deter them from attempting communication.

I'm old and tired but someone young and clever can make one of those fake text pics that the whippersnappers are so enamored with these days, should they be so inclined to curse the world in such a manner.

[my-dailydreams]

[notyourcaptainnemo]

You ever just start to dread reading or finishing fics because then you'll have to comment on them? Like most people don't even bother even if they liked it, and its fine -- not everyone has thoughts on things, most media is consumed mindlessly and thats just how it is -- but as another writer I feel, like, obligated to toss a coin to my witcher, ykyk. Like with fanfiction, the chef comped your meal and then you didnt even give a tip to the waiter, type a rude ass feeling for me if I dont comment.

So then I start procrastinating reading a chapter. Then i procrastinate finishing that chapter. And its like dread 😩 to have to reach the end and figure out how to turn my brain on enough to write out a coherent comment.

And its not that i dont want to support people, I'm just... exhausted 🥲 I read your fic to unwind after a long day and I wish I could just- upload you my feelings of appreciation instead.

[keystonemotel]

Me: :(

Aizawa in his pink sweatpants

Me: :)

[notyourcaptainnemo]

So is there a shinzawa blog where we're all normal and they're just cute little gay gardeners together, and everyone is happy and comfy and normal and nothing bad happens ever

Or like is that weird or

[notyourcaptainnemo]

Shinsou would be so, so, so horny over people with a perceived power imbalance over him treating him with authority and reverence, and all around being very respectful and polite to him.

Aizawa would be so ashamed about how hot it is to him to be treated "incorrectly." not even necessarily degradation, just "wrong." Misgender him. Call his genitals the wrong parts. Call him cute and pretty like a little doll. Be mean and restrictive and controlling.

Just things to think about 🤗

[notyourcaptainnemo]

Waking up just to scream about what an absolutely mean and feral bitch Shinsou is unless he wants something. Total barely socialized cat behavior.

And he wants Aizawa. C:< and everyone is baffled by how cute and cuddly he is with this man when he would absolutely push them into traffic for making a squeaky sound with their shoes by accident.

[eraserhide]

i think if shinsou were to call aizawa 'daddy' he'd get really condescending & praiseful about it. things like "good daddy, taking care of his son" as the man sucks him off