Bruce is under a truth spell. He hates these.. He hates them so much because every single time, everybody takes advantage of the fact that he can’t lie. He tries to hold out and fight it, but it hurts.
And they know that he will eventually cave.
“Spooky, I’ve been meaning to ask you this for a while and I knew you were never gonna answer; but now that I’ve got the opportunity.. Why do you never smile? Every single time I see you you’re frowning, like is there nothing good going on in your life that could make you smile at least a little bit?”
Hal asked jokingly.. like Bruce’s answer wouldn’t implode everything in his life. Like answering, wouldn’t make every single person in this room look at him with pity or guilt.
He tries to fight it. He does, but he doesn’t stand a chance against magic.
“I have no reason to.” He hopes that’ll be enough, but it never is.
“What does that even mean Spooky?” Hal laughs as if Bruce’s pain is funny.
“I don’t have a reason to, because there’s nothing in my life worth smiling about..
My kids hate me and I don’t understand why. I walk in a room and everything goes quiet just because I simply existed in the same space. I come here to escape, and the same thing happens. I walk in the room and everything goes dead quiet. You all just tolerate me because you can’t get rid of me. I’m the one that pays for the tower so you just deal with me because you need me; but you don’t want me.
I walk on eggshells in every aspect of my life because being who I really am angers people. So I sit in silence and hope that people will be themselves around me if I just don’t speak. People hate me for being to quiet, but the same people don’t like when I speak to much.
I have given myself to multiple people, who just don’t care how they treat me because I don’t want to complain and give them another reason to walk away. Whether it be my family or my quote unquote friends.
So I stopped trying. I became the enigma that no one knows anything about instead of the bud of everybody’s joke..
I’m depressed to the point I’ve attempted to kill myself multiple times through out my life. I have vivid hallucinations of Alfred every single day, and won’t do anything about it because that’s the only time I see someone who cares about me.
I know no peace in my own mind. I have an eidetic memory. Every night I go to sleep, my dreams replay every painstaking detail of my parents murder or my son‘s gruesome death. And even though I have that son back, he can’t stand the sight of me.
Every person I’ve ever loved or cared for has either died, turned evil or walked away from me because I’m too much or not enough.
So no, Jordan. I don’t have a reason to smile…”
The room is silent. You could hear a pin drop. Bruce is beyond embarrassed. The spell just wouldn’t let him stop. And now everyone is looking at him like he needs their sympathy.
Like them learning this information will change anything. Change the way he’s only needed as Batman. Not a father, or a friend. Only a tactician and the money he puts into things.
He knew that’s all he was good for. Otherwise everyone in his life wouldn’t say the same thing.
He’s too much, he’s not enough, he’s to secretive, everything he does is wrong wrong wrongwrongwrongwrong-
He decides to just go home. He’ll tell Zatanna to meet him at the manor. He can’t stay here any longer. Nobody has said anything since he stopped talking. There’s nothing they could say. All he said was the truth, the truth they thought they wanted.
As he walks away Diana calls out to him but he ignores her. Because what could she even say. We’re sorry?? What’s there to apologize for. He’s the problem anyway. Always the problem, never the solution.
And he’s tired, so tired. He just wants to see Alfred again; see his parents again. Missing the embrace of his mother’s arms, His father ruffling his hair, the way Alfred looked at him like he was worth something.
Instead of the hindrance that people have to tolerate.
He just wants to be wanted.
Im reblogging this because I want the author to know that they made me cry and id like a part 2 if possible.
