*at the end of a rather pleasant phone call with the bride whose wedding I'm DJing this weekend*
"Okay, so that all sounds good! Is there anything else you want to talk about before we go?"
"Nope, I think you've got it covered! Oh, but one more thing."
"Yeah?"
"It's going to be a dry wedding. No alcohol."
"Ah! Ahaha ... thanks ... that - that's good to know ..."
*hangs up*
*opens window*
*sets self on fire*
*jumps into dumpster*













