waffle

she/they queer. been pissing off daughter’s fathers since 1999. was neutered; used to be “likes-titties-dot-com” one day ill own the name again. im sure of it.

[twentybrokenipodclassics]

[loveridden1999]

doing things at the right age is literally a made up concept. you can start/pursue anything at any age. btw.

[loveridden1999]

remember remember

[sisyphusshrugged]

let's be several years behind together

[mercurialmilk]

When the corporate customer service quiz has this as a question:

And you have to decide if you want to pass the course or be true to your heart.

[an-ambient-girl]

[matobawataru]

omg it’s dr. roberta bobby, author of one of my favorite tweets ever written

[marxistlesbianist]

Omg she wrote one of my favorites also

[seancodydotcom]

[seancodydotcom]

[periwinklemoonlight]

[ovur]

Anyone else notice the tumblr app being really glitchy

[relelvance]

[ovur]

You'll have to go somewhere else, little boy. This is no place for you.

[funstyle]

Gaga couldve just said lets have some fun this beat is sick i wanna take a ride on your penis dick. But she went with disco stick because shes a what? poet.

[tsunamiwavesurfing]

[jaydove-writes]

Never heard of this author but I’ll look them up now. Sounds like a kind individual.

[theewenchinthewoods]

I love this so much!

[their-we-go]

and i'm going to.

[androidboy]

most notable times of being hit on by customers:

guy who tried to impress me with card tricks and failed every single one of them

old man who attempted to get my number when his wife walked away and slipped me his email address ending with “@ aol.com” when i said i don’t do that

cute gay couple that came back to tell me i was cute and then called the shop to ask me out

older professor who i talked to about folklore and told me he dressed as a wizard for recitals saying “this is really embarrassing but umm.. i’d love to get to know you more..” and gave me a receipt with his email address on it

dude in his 40s asking me on a movie date and me saying yes but then he kept starting text conversations with “ahoi hoi”

military guy who said it’d be hot if i killed him with a baseball bat

most notable time a customer did not ask me out:

a man who i knew had a wife and children getting really flustered and saying “um. ive been, uh.. idk if you remember me but um. i come in here a lot and ive uhhh haha umm ive been wanting to ask you for a couple weeks now.. um. have you read the green lantern issue i recommended??????”

[androidboy]

[angelicguy]

[dickdjames]

If Toby Fox had never made that one fateful videogame we would all be living life sans undertale

[gae-bolg-alternative-dot-exe]

Gold Ship Moodboard

[ouchlord-vivaldi]

[sensibleshroom]

i can't explain it, but the older you get, the more you realize that the hornier, filthier the music is, the better it is for cleaning. it is not good for sex. it's good for cleaning. if it's breathtakingly misogynistic? even better. i'm sorry, Hollywood Undead, i'm sure you think Everywhere I Go was written to fuck to while blown out on a couple lines of coke, but you're wrong. it's for Fabuloso and industrial grade cleaning vinegar and degreaser. the only daddy here is Scrub Daddy. sorry.

[mothdogs]

[yellbug]

one of my formative experiences with sex ed was having sexual desire explained to my class by a catholic nun who was very clearly working on a purely theoretical model. she explained with like increasing mania that women and men are very different because men are "like microwaves" and women "are like crock pots" and the more confused the class (age 13) became the more frantic sister patrick stephen became until she was accidentally making the point that men and women are too much like different appliances to have sex with each other at all. we all felt quite guilty as this was the year twilight came out so we'd all just gotten horny for the first time. so we felt bad for her if anything