Drunk History @nowbedefiantthelion-blog - Tumblr Blog

professordrunkan-deactivated201

masaki-aiba

geneticss-deactivated20140910

Pretty much

#sherlock

justworshipbands

nowbedefiantthelion-blog

One of my favorite How I Met Your Mother moments.

#himym #ted mosby

I'm sorry, It's time to get a little dark

Last year my father died. He was my hero, my best friend, my number one supporter and I watched him die right before my eyes. I saw as he drew his last breathes and that was it, the light in his eyes that had once fueled so many of my crazy ideas and passions was gone. He was 46, doctors said even though he was overweight he was incredibly healthy, strong as an ox too. I still have nightmares of that night May 4, 2012. I had just come back from seeing The Avengers, getting ready to go to sleep and I hear a scream from upstairs, I rush upstairs to see whats wrong and i see my father laying there motionless and my mother panicking, an like that my mind took over. I jumped on the bed checked his pulse and began CPR, I put his air mask that stopped him from snoring over his nose to push constant air into his lungs. My mother dialed 911 there were there in 6 minutes but it felt like 6 hours. I saw the light leave his eyes I knew he was dead even before the doctor told us at the hospital. Everyone remained hopeful while I knew the grim truth, I was just preparing myself for it so it wasn't such a shock...it didn't help. The doctor pulled me aside as my family went into the room to see him laying there and he looked me in the eyes and said words that I will never forget, "Son you're a true hero, I was told of what you tried to do by the EMT and the Police Officer who escorted them here, I've never heard of such bravery from a 19 year old, you did all you could, I'm so sorry for your loss". A hero...A HERO! What kind of hero am I, he died I wasn't a hero, I failed, hero's don't fail they rescue those in need and all I've ever wanted to be was the hero. I've lived with this guilt for the past year and it's driven me crazy. Now matter how much I try to forgive myself, I just cant let it go. With out my friends I would have slipped even farther into darkness but they pulled me from the rumble and I can't thank them enough for what they did. Those are true heroes. I had to write this somewhere, anyone who takes the time to read this I apologize for the darkness of this but just knowing that someone else might understand my position is helpful.

#death #burden #guilt #dad #heroes

heartlikeamoon

#guilt #poem

7xneverkillman

Instead of the cross, the Albatross. About my neck was hung.

Samuel Taylor Coleridge

#albatross #the rime of the ancient mariner #burden

mcflyin-deactivated20170511

#ron swanson #parks and recreation #parks and rec

confessionsoficeandfire

#the nights watch #game of thrones #A Song of Ice and Fire

lucidsquidd

nowbedefiantthelion-blog

If I could join The Nights Watch I would. Sacrificing your life, your land, any claims you may have to anything to protect the realm, an no matter who you are a criminal or a king you're all equal on the wall.

#the night watch #game of thrones #A Song of Ice and Fire