lit like a bic, the fouseycon shit show
notable youtuber fouseytube has recently been the center of attention on the platform after dropping an atom bomb of content he dubbed “hate dies love arrives” on july 15th, an event he managed to smash together in something like 5 days after having inspiration strike him while visiting Australia.
the story, as far as i can tell goes something like this, fousey was in Australia, minding his own business when suddenly god shot a lightning bolt of inspiration through the cosmos, through the earths atmosphere and directly into the front of fouseytubes brain. the impact knocked him off his ass and sent him flying backwards into some furniture where he smacked his skull so hard he saw stars, and those stars, as if they where choreographed, slowly moved to spell the words “hate dies love arrives, july 15″ and fousey, only partially still conscious and quickly losing blood out of a major gash behind his ear, staggered to his feet and frantically clawed at his cellphone which had been thrown clear during the crash. his hands found the cellphone and as he fumbled to unlock it the words began to leave his mouth
“july 15th!.... JULY 15TH”
boom, hes got instagram open and hes recording. wild eyed and still feeling the collision of the holy spirit he tells the world that on july 15th there will be an event, an event that will end racism, an event that will bring humanity together like brothers, and all your favorite rappers will be there, and there will be a snack table with fresh baby carrots, and dip, and keemstar will be there to. he doesnt know how he will do it yet but he knows that if he just believes hard enough, that if we all believe hard enough, its gonna happen, somehow...
flash forward a couple days and our main man fousey is well on his way to LA, the place where all important things must take place. hes got his boys with him and hes ready to fuck shit up with positivity and love.
he lands at LAX and vlogs as he walks through the airport, suitcase in tow, speaking directly into the camera, directly to you and me, about love and positivity, and july 15th! the positive vibes are flowing inside fousey, his soul is a beef stew with brother hood and dream achievement in place of the carrots and spices. as he makes his way further towards wherever the hell hes walking the vibes flow stronger and over take him, hes no longer in control, no longer fousey the youtuber, now he is merely a conduit for the vibes, a broadcasting antenna for the lords truth. his mouth moves and truth escapes, at a volume much to loud for a public space he shouts passionately at innocent people minding their own business
“JULY 15TH!” he screams at an adult just getting off a 12 hour flight from tokyo “ITS GONNA BE LIT”
the man ignores fousey and trudges onward, fousey smiles proudly and mentally prepares for the days to come
fousey has arrived in LA. its the land of dreams they say, the land of july 15th. fousey breaths in the sweet smoggy air and takes a minute to appreciate how far hes already come on this journey. he looks upward and shouts
hes the king, and hes back in hollywood. watch the fuck out idiots!
in the days leading up to july 15th most people still have no idea its even happening, but somehow fousey has managed to get live nation involved and the greek theater has agreed to host the event. fousey meets with keemstar and convinces him to help promote it. fousey also meets with adam22 from the no jumper podcast and does an interview. adam, presumably salivating at the potential content this crazy man is about to deliver, agrees to do everything he can to help out. keemstar also works out a deal to shoot a documentary of the whole thing, keemstar is not stupid. also during this time period fousey has taken it upon himself to believe that it is gods plan that famous Canadian drake will appear at the event and perform the hit single gods plan, fousey uses drakes likeness to promote the event despite drake having no idea who fousey is or ever being contacted by fouseys team
the day arrives. july 15th baby, the day weve all been waiting for, the day fousey was born to deliver.
at the greek theater everything seems to moving along as planned. a decent crowd of teenaged fans and youtubers in their 20s begins filing through the gates. adam22 is there with his girlfriend lena the plug to vlog the experience and appear on stage. keemstar is also there, seemingly in disbelief that the event is actually taking place. so far so good. keemstar, adam22, fazerug and someone else take to the stage to welcome the 1500 or so people standing inside the theater that holds 5000. its clear that none of them are completely comfortable as they take turns on the mic, then the highlight of the event: someone calling himself “lit papi” performs a spoken word piece of work in which he claims to be “lit like a bic” it was fucking lit.
a mere 40 minutes into the event that was on verge of ending racism forever a bomb threat is called in and police arrive to shut it down. cops swarm the building, sirens fill the air, and confused concert goers are shuffled out of the venue. was this a real bomb threat? or just your average swatting? turns out there was no bomb so i guess some cartoon super villian swatted fousey in order to foil his plans for world peace , or someone from fouseys team called in the bomb threat in order to save fousey the embarrassment of the inevitable flop, who knows.
in any case somehow or another a small crowd began to form in a nearby park, people leaving the greek theater had gathered there to bear witness to their true messiah fousey who had payed an uber driver to park on the grass and allow him to stand on top of his SUV. this was now fouseys stage. he stood proudly on top of the uber and rolled his wife beater up over top of his stomach for some reason and addressed his people. he talked of love, positivity, smoked a blunt, and told keemstar he loved him. he also performed a diss track he had written that was aimed at fellow youtuber ricegum. the disstrack was intended to end hate i think. fousey stood on top of that uber and acted crazy until the sun went down and he got sleepy, and like that, it was over.
all in all fouseytubes july 15th was strange as hell and over all great content. racism is still alive and well unfortunately but i like to think that weve all shared a deeply human moment together watching fousey be a nutcase. black hands held white hands as we looked on at the drama together. the aftermath has been entertaining as well, and GOOD NEWS fousey has announced “hate dies love arrives two” sop keep an eye out for that!
