Laugh for your Life!

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[lostmyselfbetweenthelines]

Here I am at 3 am

I taste you on my tongue with every new stranger I kiss,

I swallow it down in frustration every time they fail to kiss me like you did.

Their breath turns stale on my lips every time I picture you...

You with your messed up hair like a veil upon your face,

The cocky smirk at the corner of your smile, the devious spark in your eyes,

You and the warmth of your body against mine, the soothing sound of your voice whispering in my ears like prayers.

[...]

They touch me with sweaty palms while you dugged holes in me with sun-kissed fingers.

I miss you deliriously.

Your hands, you lips, your arms that swallowed me whole like a home you never wanna leave.

I miss you... Deliriously trying to replace you with something new.

With something better...

But it's dark now, and there's no one on my side, just a void on my left and the cold wall on my right.

I keep trying to find what we had,

To plant the seed and give it life in someone else,

In someone new, in someone better.

I keep trying to water plants that refuse to grow roots into the ground.

I keep trying to feel that warmth, that level of intimacy, of instant recognition, and ease.

I keep trying to feel loved again. A better love, a healthier love,

I keep trying to love someone more worthy of my whole.

But here I am again, thinking of you.

Here I am wishing I never realised I deserve better.

Here I am missing every single inch of everything that hurt me for so long.

Here I am defeated and exhausted of carrying a love too stubborn to die but too sick to flourish.

Here I am struggling to write a chapter in which you do not fit anymore. Here I am trying to bury the only thing that gave me life.

Here I am admitting loving you at 3 am hoping this will make it go away.

I wonder how you are again, and there are days when I wish you to be happy, at peace, and even moved on.

Moved on with someone who can complete you, and accept you in all the ways I couldn't.

But there are moments as today when I hope you're staring at the celling thinking of the missing pillow next to you. Thinking of me in ways that make your heart ache.

Here I am,

And there you are two blocks away from me.

Here I am hoping we are alone together.

What a strange thing to want him gone but wish him closer.

Love is really good at ignoring the warnings of the mind.

It beats its own drums and follows it's own rules. It grows a life of it's own and suddenly you live two lives.

Suddenly your mind ain't quick enough to give reason to your heart.

[lostmyselfbetweenthelines]

The Waltz of The Moon and Sun

You're just like the moon

Constant like a guiding light that never flickers or dies.

Equally present and composed throughout day and night.

I'm the sun,

Although blinding still inviting.

Blissfully warm from afar,

While brutally burning from upclose.

My presence beames in the light

Yet fades away shamelessly into the darkness of the night.

No matter how many times we start this waltz,

You stay rooted on the sky,

While I'm never present for the grand finale.

By A.A.

[lostmyselfbetweenthelines]

Daughters of the moon

You walk around mothered by earth and fathered by the moon.

You breathe in air like it's your heritage to own.

You swift through life like wind,

You are furios floods that drown and composed rains that nourish.

The stars look down on us only to witness the spark in your eyes

The seas bite into the sand just to grasp the feeling of your humble feet.

You stirr oceans like a flame ablaze in the middle of the water.

The grass itself bends in your presence,

Birds fly only to lead you,

And animals hunt only to feed you.

You carry the sun on your skin,

The moon in your heart,

The earth in your womb,

And the world on your mind.

You are women!

Raise your eyes from the ground, the sky is waiting.

Don't bite your tongue down, it was meant to roar

Don't shy away, a hungry lion wouldn't.

I see you starved, silenced and chained down,

They cut down our wings afraid we'll fly too far for them to follow.

I see what they've done to the daughters of the moon,

I see them enslaved.

Oh fierce women,

Life ends and begins with the motion of your hips,

Life hangs and shudders at your lips.

You who are the foundation of the world,

HOW DARE THEY?

YOU ARE WOMEN!

Never to be belittled, never to be tossed away when you were meant to march through the fields of the fucking world.

You are women and that stands for so much more,

You are women, no one's but your own.

You are feathers, fangs and claws caged for too long.

They said you were born in sin

Buy they brought the sin to you.

By A. A.

[nuclearsia]

Check this empowering poem out

[lostmyselfbetweenthelines]

The Lovers Of Time

Present rushes right past you like a thrill you cannot grasp.

If Present were my lover

She'd be as rapid as a summer rain,

She'd be split seconds of endless possibilities with every step.

Once you wrong her, such a deed can't be undone.

She's the kind of soul that lives every second like her last,

Whose every breath is a blessing yet to come.

The type of one night stand that engulfs you in the evening but leaves you with the first sight of light.

Present wouldn't finch, wouldn't stumble, beg or cry. She'd just move forward and unless you're fast enough to follow she'll leave you behind.

If you fall behind Present your Past will run you down.

Past is the toxic love your mother warned you about.

He's like a relic on a pedestal, close enough to see yet way too high to be grasped or molded it in your palms.

He creeps into your soul while haunting your mind,

He keeps you up at night with all the times you failed in life,

He tears through the stitches of ancient wounds and pokes his fingers inside.

He feeds off insecurity for fun,

He creeps in every time you try to catch up with your life,

He grips you with sticky claws and drags you behind with every leap you take forward.

Beyond Present there's a time not yet seen by the human eye

Future is the kind of lover we all dream about.

The perfect figure, the idilic tone and fragrance in and out.

Future is the sum of all the aspiration of tomorrow,

She's every hope and dream too grand to even consider them out loud.

She is everything we want, altogether with everything we deny ourselves from having.

She is the kind of noble lady for whose courtship you've strategies your whole life, yet never dared to act it out.

We ought to make love with Present, and kiss her breathlessly at every crossroad of our life.

We must make amends with Past, quick to forgive yet, slow to forget.

For Future,

We must make room in our minds.

By A. A.

[lostmyselfbetweenthelines]

SCARLET GRAVES

Will my own heart bleed as a consequence of stabbing yours ?

Will I join you in the scarlet pool of it?

Will we synchronise our drowning?

I'm sick of the solitude of being the only one left untampered,

Tired of being unscarred and alone.

For all the sins I should atone

I still set my heart in stone.

This time I want my sloppy lungs to groan

I long for it in my bone

I want it to be Shown,

Known,

And impossible to overthrown.

I'm the most peculiar case of standing on graves without ever finding my own.

By A.A.

[lostmyselfbetweenthelines]

Certainty and I

What is certainty I often wonder,

And what feelings are or aren't ?

Where do they start and where do they meet?

When do you know?

"You just know!" they say.

What is love I wonder as I look at your figure fading away.

I'm inclined to say not this, and certainly not with you, if I even have to wonder at all.

But maybe love comes in many shapes and this one will no longer try to conquer me with force. Unless, for once, I'm willing to embrace its warmth.

Maybe this love is shy and all this time I've been letting it pale away in a wasteland crushed by stirred waves of a barren sea.

Perhaps it just needs a lil bit of air, while I've been drowning it in violent rain.

I've denied its existence in so many ways it stopped trying to adress me, and decided to patiently wait for me at the gates, standing too tall for it to climb.

Will I do her the courtesy to come? Will I step out of the very walls I've designed to keep them out and me inside?

Or will I once again lock her out.

They say it's not a decision they say "You just know!"

But do I?

I don't know how to open rusty gates or push my way outside.

But maybe this time I'll try,

Maybe this time I'll meet you outside.

By A. A.

[thebestoftumbling]

[dundermifflingifs]

[blackgirlsvevo]

[remanence-of-love]

[lostmyselfbetweenthelines]

Cry if you must,

Cry with the dignity of knowing you have felt .

Do what you must today, so it will hurt a little less tomorrow.

If Sorrow is beyond your door, unlock it

If Sorrow knocks, embrace it

Drown yourself in tears

But do so quick and do so now.

Cry if you must,

But don't you forget

Sorrow is meant to visit, yet never stay

The sooner you let Sorrow in, the faster you can make it leave.

Cry if you must,

But then you lick the salt off your lips,

Dry the tears on your cheeks

and you shut the door behind it.

by A.A.

[lostmyselfbetweenthelines]

He stands for pianist fingers playing all the wrong notes on violin chords.

Excerpt from 'Names so Unkind'

by A.A.

[unclefather]

you’ve been hit by- you’ve been struck by a smooth criminal

[dankmemesreasonforliving]

[andthwip-deactivated20220219]

[lostmyselfbetweenthelines]

Remember

When you're gone and there's nothing but dust behind

Remember me as the wild flower you shouldn't have picked

If you must leave

Remember me as the girl that freed her spirit on the dancefloor.

As the girl in the white dress hiding away the darkness

Keep me in you heart as a smile you can't seem to stop your lips from forming.

Remember me as sweaty palms,

as the first snow you were expecting as a child

Remember me as a look gazing into your very soul,

as whispers as powerful as screams

Remember me as all the shades of green mixing into one.

But forget the sleepless nights,

the unsaid trying to crawl out of your insides

Try forget the silent treaty while everything inside of you was loud

Ignore all the songs that gave voice to the scars I left behind,

Ignore the times I left.

But remember how I rushed back to you

Forget the tears and just focus on my smile

on your smile

on our smile

on us laughing just by looking in each other's eyes

on my lips crushing yours.

on your trembling voice

on my daring eyes,

Remember that!

Remember your fingertips tracing my figure, like a painter would a work of art

Remember you were happy,

Remember so was I

Forget you were left ruined.

Forget that I was not...

Pretend this time is different

Pretend and so will I

Close your eyes again and let me blind them one more time.

by A.A.

[javierbardem]

It is one thing to question the official story, and another thing entirely to make wild accusations, or insinuate that I’m a superhero. I never said you were a superhero. Didn’t? Well, good, because that would be outlandish and uh… fantastic. I’m just not the hero type. Clearly. With this laundry list of character defects, all the mistakes I’ve made, largely public.