So  everyÂ
so often and
perhaps too
often we choose
to let bygones
be as soon asÂ
itâs too late toÂ
take recourse
to inactionÂ
as let beÂ
in perpetuityÂ
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@nullfornow-blog
  So  everyÂ
so often and
perhaps too
often we choose
to let bygones
be as soon asÂ
itâs too late toÂ
take recourse
to inactionÂ
as let beÂ
in perpetuityÂ
the doctor breadâs
nothing moreÂ
than a
red loaf
lump and plump
like an upturnedÂ
beetle shell
the doctorâs brought
nothing more
than a silly note
slashed with a butter knife
scribbled with mistakes
ketchuped with mustard
no drips just streaks
sticking with
        the IÂ
canât see IâmÂ
growing wearyÂ
of trying
        story
growing up in-between
and out of the familiar setup
in the same silly getup
less silly now that we find ourselves
missing it not for what it was trying to be
but for what we wanted it to become
for us and us aloneÂ
since it remains all that we know
Iâve come away with something more through
forgetting what it was we were holding onto.Â
Yes yes yes N with a nod
so weâve been told
to quiver in agreeance
while stowing away the pert assets
that strike O relentlessly--arrests--
because E is so sharp
and impliable so much
less so than am I
why i had even bothered
i canât begin to say: toÂ
have noticed the drip-drop
of the incessant wringing
while the crucible collected quietly
as if immune to it all
the ramâs rearing
the lava mounting
the car swerving and turning
and the awkward postures
assumed by meaningful wincing
would have been to have
said that nothing could have
gone unheard
there was the trepidation of
stumbling noticeably over things you
supposedly were over but werenât
and so you fell and instantly
felt sorry for crushing upon impactÂ
that helpless thing that didnâtÂ
have anything to do with anything that had
made you feel so out of touch with
what it was that had left you too ill toÂ
face the insurmountable burden of
what you thought was behind you butÂ
was in fact still there and still is in fact
staring at you flatly in the face as if to say
you shouldâve known better
so you paused to pick it up and gave itÂ
a tender squeeze but it was already
too much and between your tips you foundÂ
yourself holding a smally smeared life
this is the resistance:
a mutable cacophony
of the unspoken
paid in respect
to the bottled and to the broken
for the sake of clarity
tiredness spared
for another
long rideÂ
back home
since every
slice of bread is
a bottle of beer
there will only be remnants
of footsteps in the snow
and sand alike after the sun
hides away and the windÂ
spares the dimpled surface
shaped like the moonâsÂ
holey skin hardened
by enviable aloneness
itâs synonymous
with beingÂ
swamped. bogged
down. stuck.Â
drowning. alreadyÂ
sunken. rendered whollyÂ
incapacitated. celestial
estrangement. these far-reaching
statuesque limbsÂ
loom and kneel
towards one-an-other
over the seething
silence of still water
undrinkable yet rife
with fecundity and life.
since suchÂ
as suchÂ
should be
takenÂ
as such
as much
as such
shall seem
to mean
so   it
shall be.
so   it
is    so
it is virtually
impossible to see
anywhere else but here:
through one of these planarÂ
panels of pixels, no dust
or cracks fall through
these plains to slip and grapple
with the movement
of the blue
There is a fine line
between here and space
the inner being and the outer    space
between being here and being out    thereÂ
or.something.or.other. For lack of the positive
there will be in its place its negative.
There are fine lines that grow
wider over time and become slowly wholly
a bonafide hole unto itself. And
always there is the indiscernible
edge that at once crosses out borders and
shuts them out.Â
who knew that john ashbery knew
how to cut and paste?
there is a moment
of disbelief - suspended
as if half-floating, half-drowning
that is suddenly re-grounded
where there is no un-seeing
to re-displace it again since
it has fixed itself to its meaning
the way that naivety slips
precariously
into jadedness - hardeningÂ
fully more devoutlyÂ
over wispyÂ
bouts of time.Â
tossed in
with the bittiest pinch of dirt
standing in a pasture
lying in a plate
dancing in a dish
flower petals hunched over
find that theyÂ
are see through too
creases or not seeing
always what we will to see
through thinning veils
making more clear
how far we really are