Nullify !

* / existentialism !

[yuujies]

[nullied]

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{{  new  SPOOPY  icon for the month  OF  Halloween !!!   it ain’t halloween season it’s just straight up halloween now for the whole month.  }}

[tsukiko-ciah]

I’m cold-blooded, I’m cold-blooded Ice in my veins never gonna run Venom on my fangs, fire on my tongue I’m cold-blooded, it’s all or nothing If I go down gonna burn with the sun Won’t quit now till I’m sitting on the throne I’m cold-blooded

© Cold-blooded -  ZAYDE WOLF

[itakun]

"Do not pity yourself. If you pity yourself, your life will be an endless nightmare. "

— Osamu Dazai

[nullied]

Quick Update

{{  i ain’t fully gone like i was before.  i moved out of the house and have no internet so i’ve been absent ‘cause i’ve been  SUPER - DUPER  busy !!!  hopin’ i might come back in the next month or 2.  internet be pricey my dudes.  }}

[incorrectbungoustraydogs]

Kunikida: Don't you miss the vivid happiness of childhood?

Dazai: I wouldn't know, never had one.

Kunikida: Happiness or a childhood?

Dazai: Yes.

[katsukes]

chuuya ft. his hot pink motorcycle     ⤿ requested by @soukokusghost

[roguemushroom]

Juni'chiro 😳 (with more piercings because why not)

[fyodcrs]

[alannasroleplaymemes-moved]

For every 💭 I receive, I will write one thought my Muse has had about yours.

[rivvah]

taylor swift * folklore starters

THE 1

i’m doing good, i’m on some new shit

and if you wanted me, you really should’ve showed

but we were something, don’t you think so?

and if my wishes came true, it would’ve been you

in my defence, i have none

but it would’ve been fun if you would’ve been the one

if one thing had been different, would everything be different today

CARDIGAN

when you are young they assume you know nothing

i knew you

baby kiss it better

you put me on and said i was your favourite

a friend to all is a friend to none

chase two girls, lose the one

you drew stars around my scars

but now i’m bleeding

tried to change the ending

i knew you’d haunt all of my what-ifs

cause i knew everything when i was young

and i knew you’d come back to me

THE LAST GREAT AMERICAN DYNASTY

how did a middle class divorcée do it?

there’s only so far new money goes

their parties were tasteful, if a little loud

there goes the last great american dynasty

who knows, if she never showed up what could’ve been

she had a marvellous time ruining everything

there goes the most shameless woman this town has ever seen

she stole his dog and dyed it key lime green

i had a marvellous time ruining everything

EXILE

i can see you standin’ honey

and it took you five whole minutes to pack us up and leave me with it

i think i’ve seen this film before

you’re not my homeland anymore

now i’m in exile seein’ you out

i can see you starin’ honey

like you’d get your knuckles bloody for me

those eyes add insult to injury

i’m not your problem anymore

so who am i offending now?

we always walked a very thin line

you didn’t even hear me out

i never learned to read your mind

MY TEARS RICOCHET

even on my worst day, did i deserve babe, all the hell you gave me?

i swear i loved you

i didn’t have it in myself to go with grace

and if i’m dead to you, why are you at the wake?

you know i didn’t want to have to haunt you

cause when i’d fight, you used to tell me i was brave

and i can go anywhere i want, just not home

you had to kill me, but it killed you just the same

you turned into your worst fears

MIRRORBALL

and when i break, it’s in a million pieces

hush

you’ll find me on my tallest tiptoes spinning in my highest heels

i know they said the end is near

i can change everything about me to fit in

i’m still trying everything to get you laughing at me

i’m still a believer but i don’t know why

SEVEN

please picture me in the trees

i was too scared to jump in

are there still beautiful things?

cross your heart, won’t tell no other

and thought i can’t recall your face, i still got love for you

love you to the moon and to saturn

and i’ve been meaning to tell you

i think your house is haunted

i used to scream ferociously

AUGUST

i never needed anything more

are you sure?

never have i ever before

cause it was never mine

and i can see us twisted in bedsheets

cause you were never mine

i remember thinking i had you

wanting was enough

for me, it was enough

so much for summer love, and saying “us”

cause you weren’t mine to lose

THIS IS ME TRYING

i’ve been having a hard time adjusting

i didn’t know if you’d care if i came back

i have a lot of regrets about that

and maybe i don’t quite know what to say

i just wanted you to know that this is me trying

they told me all of my cages were mental

so i got wasted like all my potential

i was so ahead of the curve, the curve became a sphere

but i didn’t pour the whiskey

at least i’m trying

it’s hard to be anywhere these days

ILLICIT AFFAIRS

make sure nobody sees you leave

tell your friends you’re out for a run

take the road less travelled by

and that’s the thing about illicit affairs

like you don’t even exist

but they lie, and they lie, and they lie, a million little times

don’t call me kid

don’t call me baby

look at this godforsaken mess that you made me

for you, i would ruin myself

INVISIBLE STRING

i used to think i would meet somebody there

were there clues i didn’t see?

all along, there was some invisible string tying you to me

you ate at my favourite spot for dinner

something wrapped all of my past mistakes in barbed wire

one single thread of gold tied me to you

hell was the journey but it brought me heaven

MAD WOMAN

what did you think i’d say to that?

what do you sing on your drive home?

every time you call me crazy, i get more crazy

and when you say i seem angry, i get more angry

what a shame, she went mad

no one likes a mad woman

you made her like that

it’s obvious that wanting me dead has really brought you two together

cause you took everything from me

the master of spin has a couple side flings

good wives always know

EPIPHANY

just a flesh wound

___, i think he’s bleedin’ out

something med school did not cover

doc, i think she’s crashin’ out

and some things you just can’t speak about

to make some sense of what you’ve seen

BETTY

but i think it’s cause of me

it’s like i couldn’t breathe

you can’t believe a word she says

the worst thing that i ever did was what i did to you

would you have me?

would you want me?

would you tell me to go straight to hell?

i’m only seventeen, i don’t know anything

but i know i miss you

just thinking of you

i dreamt of you all summer long

the only thing i wanna do is make it up to you

PEACE

i never had the courage of my convictions

as long as danger is near

but i would die for you in secret

the devil’s in the details

but you got a friend in me

your integrity makes me seem small

and you know that i’d swing with you for the fences

and you know that i’d sit with you in the trenches

and you know that i’d give you my wild

and you know that i’d give you my child

is it enough?

all these people think love’s for show

would it be enough if i could never give you peace?

HOAX

this has broken me down

stood on the cliffside screaming “give me a reason”

your faithless love’s the only hoax i believe in

don’t want no other shade of blue but you

i am ash from your fire

you know i left a part of me back in new york

you knew the hero died, so what’s the movie for

you knew it still hurts underneath my scares

you knew you won, so what’s the point of keeping score?

darling, this was just as hard

you have beaten my heart

no other sadness in the world would do

[nullied]

[ who ?! ]

“A … furry?” 

The word is completely foreign to him, but he can’t help but feel there’s a negative connotation to it. It’s because of the way Dazai Osamu asks him. The confusion is rampant all over his delicate features. He’s left at a loss, lips slightly parted with no words descending from them. This only lasts for briefly, as he regains his momentum. 

“I’m sorry, I don’t understand what that word means. I don’t believe I am one? Although what I actually am may be difficult for a human like yourself to digest. Perhaps ‘monster’ would be the most eloquent definition.” 

Now that was a word the tiger god was intimately familiar with. It’s what he had been called over the centuries, time and time again. Not that he can ever blame humans for finding him monstrous. He is not wholly like them — he has claws and too sharp teeth. He glows in the moonlight. People can’t relate to what they do not comprehend. He knows this very, very well. Surely this human would be no different. He expects that Dazai Osamu come to his senses after a few minutes and run off screaming, never to return. A small part of him is dismayed by this particular reality because he can’t help but internally admit that this young man is truly one of the most beautiful humans he’s seen in over 100 years. How he’d love to sit and ( stare, stare, stare ) talk with him for hours. 

Ah well. 

Ethereal fingers boldly skim over the surface where they make out scraped skin. Once upon a time, the god’s touch would have healed the injury in an instant. Now it seems he can’t find the magic in him to aid in the healing, no matter how much he digs inside himself to scoop up those flecks of fire — the dregs of a once insurmountable flame. Can he even still continue to call himself a god, when he is surely doomed to fade out of existence? Belief is the core strength of any divine being and without that belief, without followers, prayers and sacrifice … he is as good as extinct. 

“ … You’re hurt. I — I can fix you. But there’s something you would have to do for me first. I need your belief in me. As a god.” 

     a question not quite understood yet taken in - stride so elegantly.  perhaps unfortunately for Dazai,  nearly  EVERY  micro expression is done elegantly.  DARE  he say that it’s not fair???  rust - colored eyes had never wandered to another man before,  more often than not casting his gaze upon pretty and delicate features or perhaps some skirts that ride up a little higher than is regulation in schools.  his attention is  TRAPPED  in the delicate white eyelashes that flutter over  BRILLIANT  hues of a sunset.

     curiosity stalks into Dazai’s gaze without his knowledge like a thief in the night looking for something precious,  and that  PRECIOUS  thing is this very curiosity.  just when he thought he’d seen everything in this life to the point his mind would never be made up,  his eyes are able to take in the sight of elongated and  SHARP  claws that connect with pale hands and sharp teeth that peek out at him like a child playing hide - and - seek as he speaks purposeful words.  he has a gentle glow about him,  and Dazai is  SURE  it isn’t a trick of the eye.  DANGEROUS  claws skitter over the deep scrapes on his skin that tore even his uniform as he mentions  healing???

        ❝  believe in you as a GOD???  but there’s  NOTHING  after this pathetic excuse of a life,  ❞  Dazai says with a quirked eyebrow as his body continues to  THROB  from the fall from more than a story.

    he says this and yet...  his body  SCREAMS  to take the words back  ╼╼  that he’s  WRONG.

[rppanda]

My Muse got stung by the Love Bug, put a name in my Inbox and they’ll automatically have a crush on them!

[miwai]

dazai osamu | bungou stray dogs ch. 85

[nullied]

q ​:

「 ★ 」   ⋮    Ａ Ｎ Ａ Ｔ Ｈ Ｅ Ｍ Ａ．   ⋮  ━━   An invitation they do not expect; a gesture they never guessed would be displayed. The child did not THINK that the man would have even offered to take them to the toy store and yet there it was, Dazai - san personally leading them to the toys. Why ? Who knows ? Even with the close bond the two of them ONCE shared, the child sometimes had difficulty reading the enigma that was the man’s mind. Perhaps Dazai - san thought the DISDAIN was so strong that the child would refuse ? 

                  But even though the child wasn’t COUNTING on the man to actually buy them anything, they still speak.

                  ‘ Well then MAYBE I will ! ‘

                  The tone those words came out was cheeky and playful, just as it ALWAYS was. Still they pause for a mere moment.

                  ‘ What’s a Barbie ? ‘

Just how out of touch was the child ? Well, Dazai - san was to blame for that. 

    unlike past acquaintances ,  Q really has no reason to hold back on the  GRUDGE  against Dazai .  in the past ,  he would have found this child  ANNOYING  for holding one in the first place .  yet now ,  when he’d gone  OUT  of his way to pull a young girl clad in a traditional kimono  OUT  of the so - called  superbly - worn darkness ,  he’d hesitate as much as he  IGNORES  the implications of a question like that .

        ❝  it’s a doll not quite unlike your ugly one ,  just  MUCH  cuter ~  ❞

    he grabs a sucker before beginning the expedition to the nearest convenience store to find something  PLASTIC  and  CHEAP .  he’d extended the invitation ,  now he should roll in it when it’s been accepted .

        ❝  and here is where you  THANK  me for being so kind !!!  ❞

[yuujies]

[nullied]

kunikida - kun​:

kunikida drags him like he weighs nothing at all. normally, he might get caught up in dazai trying to distract him with useless knowledge that he’d fall for, but today the agency’s reputation was on the line. he wouldn’t let dazai’s idiocy dishonor fukuzawa. 

he lifts dazai by the collar and slams him to his feet in front of the shop, shoving the gift in his hands. 

❛ get in there and apologize, and apologize sincerely, or you’ll be sorry. ❜

     unfortunately for Kunikida ,  he’s barking up the  WRONG  tree .  there has been  MAYBE  a handful of moments in which Dazai has been known to apologize and  ONE  of those spots has been used up for Atsushi .  with time ,  he’ll realize the mistake he makes as Dazai is forced to take the gift with a  DRAMATICALLY  exasperated sigh .

        ❝  there’s little that’s scary about a teacher but alright .  ❞

    finally ,  he takes the present and goes into the building .  unfortunately ...  five minutes later he’s being  THROWN  out the door ,  landing on his back and staring at the sky .