If You Give A Moose A Latte.......

37. Mom. Pastry Chef. Vet Tech. ED Recovery. I'm too tired for this shit

[gutwrenchflowerbomb]

So we all agree we would fuck that giant Basket man? Like, no arguments or discussions needed?

[howtobangyourmonster]

I mean…I have some concerns about chafing, but I also have a can-do attitude about it.

[howtobangyourmonster]

Fiyero could NEVER but I think Jonathan Bailey could.

[howtobangyourmonster]

Oh no, he’s not a hear me out, he’s just a let me try this because I’m curious, like a Prince Albert.

[number1moose]

[number1moose]

Postpartum life again

I feel wrung out, and empty.

A vacuum, and a void

A hole where interest use to be

A blank to be ignored.

My mind is cold and vacant,

My tongue is numb and still.

Conversation lacking

Feels like boulders up a hill.

I have used it for my children,

And there's nothing left inside.

But they're growing and they're health,

My love, my joy, my pride.

So I push through fog and misty fjords,

In my colander mind.

Hoping soon to find myself,

Somewhere on the other side.

[lousydrawingsforgoodpeople]

[number1moose]

Postpartum 6 week check.

Opened the chart app to check appointment, saw my weight at the top-

Started spiralling. "Oh M G! It's so high, how'd it change that much?! Oh no it's happening again?! What am I gonna do?!" -

Doctor hands me my paper for next appointment, my weight is written at the top.

The nurse just entered it wrong

One little number, a typo, and I was ready to flip shit.

Believe your body. If you feel good, you're doing good. Don't let the numbers dictate how you feel.

[number1moose]

Started worrying about my body shape/size.

Then I saw I still had sticky residue from one of the leads they attached when they cut my son out of me....

Maybe there's plenty of time. Maybe there's time for healing, celebrating, living, surviving before I think about that again.

Maybe this time, I should never go back.

[number1moose]

3rd trimester energy level:

[buttpoems]

[number1moose]

Gaining weight is part of growing a person. But it triggers me really bad. It makes my bones itch, my soul feels too tight, my brain pulses.

I'm making a person with my body but the physical changes are a huge ED mind cluster F.

[dankmemeuniversity]

[thememedaddy]

[goth-queen]

[number1moose]

Pregnancy nausea making me wanna curl in a ball and cry.

Also me with my rice cakes:

[cpahlow]

[k-wame]

[number1moose]

People are now talking about "Food Noise", when will we discuss body noise?

"I'm sorry, I can't concentrate today my 'apron belly' is screaming too loud"

"I can't enjoy this book if my thighs are going to yodel so much"

Maybe it's just an ED thing 🤷‍♀️ idk

[number1moose]

I didn't know it would be a trigger

Here I am. Freaking out. I've worked past so many trigger foods.

But I'm pacing and I'm nervous

I'm ok. I'm ok. I'm not ok

ED -"You should throw it up. You'll undue what you've done. You'll feel so much better."

Me-"No thats stupid, I'm not going to purge. I haven't purged in years. I'd just feel worse."

ED-"Feel that urp in your throat. It's right there. Just lean over the toilet"

Me-*vomits up only decaf coffee*

ED-"FUCK!"

Me-"FUCK!"

ED-"You didn't do it right"

Me-"That was idiotic. Why do I ever listen to you."

[lousydrawingsforgoodpeople]