RP info and rules
My kinks are oral (receiving), shower sex, height/size difference (especially when there's a very short (no pun intended) difference between two characters), dominant/confident women (I love the kind of woman who can kick my ass), light harm (biting, scratching, hickeys), long tongues (I love the kind of woman who can lick my ass), cuddling after sex (wholesome kinks are seriously underrated as fuck. I will never understand people's fascination with cucking, cheating, noncon, and rape plots. Why are people so obsessed with this when it can really destroy lives and cause people to hurt themselves? It's really fucked up, once you think about it), kissing, handholding (oh, the horror! The depravity! Won't someone think of the children?!), lipstick (I love the kind of woman who can kiss my ass), and, uhhh, yeah, that's about it. Yeah, go ahead and sue me for being a metalhead who isn't into the most disgusting, dark, illegal, fucked up kinks. It's not that I can't handle dark subjects or need trigger warnings when something has dark themes/topics, it's just that dark kinks are sooooo fucking boring and overrated to me. They're like jumpscares in modern horror movies and video games. They're overused, they're overdone, they're overrated, and they make me roll my eyes every time I see one.
My limits are snuff, zoophilia/bestiality, cucking, cheating, rape, raceplay (I'm fine with interracial, though. It's just when it becomes a literal dick-measuring competition about which race is superior and which one is inferior that I have a problem with. It's hard to believe that the people who are into that kind of thing don't have some… questionable views), racism, trans/homophobia, sexism/misogyny (I don't care if it's just fictional. I don't condone that kind of shitty behavior. Nazi punks, FUCK OFF! Take your hatred and bigotry and stay the fuck away from me), noncon, pregnancy (doesn't matter if it's male pregnancy or regular pregnancy. I don't like kids. Plus, I don't even want to think about the biological fuckery that goes on with male pregnancy), gore, vore, ugly bastard, filth/musk (just because our characters get dirty in the bedroom doesn't mean THEY should be dirty themselves, you know what I mean?), abuse, pegging (I DON'T love the kind of woman who can dick my ass), kidnapping, people who aren't into heavy metal (if you're not into metal… YOU ARE NOT MY FRIEND!), and people who didn't read the plot (ESPECIALLY people who didn't read the plot. You know who are).
My timezone is Eastern Daylight Time. I'm usually pretty fairly active (I'm free on weekends), so I respond quickly (plus, I type fast), but if I don't, it's because I'm asleep, too locked in during a game to pay attention to my phone, dealing with an angry Karen, or busy (or I intentionally ignored you because your response was creepy, confusing, lame as fuck, or you only DMed me to say that you're not interested in the plot, but thought I was funny or just want to tell me to change the plot (why are you even DMing me, then? If you're not interested in my plot, then don't even bother DMing me. I'm flattered that you think I'm funny, but don't waste your time and my time by DMing me just to say you're not interested in my plot. All you're doing by doing that is wasting both of our times, so if you're not interested, scroll past. If you are genuinely interested in roleplaying with me, then DM me! Don't be shy). I have a habit of apologizing for late responses. I'm usually at my most active at night (no, I'm not a vampire. I just hate the morning. What the FUCK is a healthy sleep schedule?!).
I don't do fandom roleplays, not even for fandoms I'm a part of (DOOM, Devil May Cry, Hellsing, Metalocalypse, JoJo's Bizarre Adventure, a bunch of metal bands that I can't be bothered to list, etc.). I just don't have the confidence to portray canon characters the way they're supposed to act. I prefer original roleplays because you're not confined to the limits of what's canon. You can just make shit up and it won't feel out of place because you're the one that created the universe, you're the one that made up the rules, so pretty much everything we write is canon.
I don't roleplay on Discord. I've tried it in the past because that's what my partners preferred, but I don't like how the character limit forces me to butcher and chop up my responses when I feel like writing a BANGER of a response, and figuring out which piece goes where and how much I can send to the point where it looks like I'm just spamming my partners and annoying them when I'm just sending them the chopped up remains of what used to be one response that turned into multiple is just too much for my stupid, smooth caveman brain that operates on orange cat and black cat software to handle. Also, I don't wanna make up a fake email just for one roleplay that's just gonna crash and burn in some way or another because the universe just hates the idea of me having an amazing, consistent roleplaying partner.
I DESPISE AI. No matter what shape or form it comes in, whether it's art (if you can even call the absolute slop that it pumps out "art") or being used to generate roleplay responses (yeah, apparently, people use AI for roleplaying. That takes away the creativity and humanity from this hobby that I have a love/hate situationship with). I prefer drawn refs when it comes to reference pictures (I usually get mine from Rule 34 or by typing "hot shirtless anime men with black hair" and "sexy demon hentai" in Google and forever cursing my Google search history and phone gallery with hentai and edgy men with no shirts on because I have the artistic talent and imagination of a demented kindergartener with a violent and evil imaginary best friend, but it would be a bonus if you're an artist and a roleplayer. It's not required, but it is a bonus). Celebrity references (or even just roleplaying as celebrities themselves) are also a no-no for me. Imagine seeing YOUR face being used for all sorts of naughty things by people on the internet who have an unhealthy obsession with you. You would be pretty freaked out, trust me.
Anyway, AI bad, me no like AI. In conclusion, fuck AI, fuck people who use AI, and fuck you if you use AI. Thank you for coming to my TED Talk. You came here to roleplay with me (or not), not listen to an edgy twenty-year-old dumbass who has no idea what he's talking about have an "old man yells at the sky" moment.
I write in third-person and past tense only. First-person just freaks me out. It doesn't feel like we're roleplaying as characters that we created. It feels more like we're roleplaying as our real selves instead of silly characters we made up in our heads, and that makes me uncomfortable, especially after reading some of the creepy encounters that some people have when it comes to people who roleplay in first person.
My literacy is flexible. It can vary depending on how much you give me to work with and if I'm feeling a sudden creative rush. As long as you put in effort, I'll put in effort. I do fall under the literate and advanced-literate side of the spectrum, though. I'm better at writing dialogue and feelings and giving potential partners more reasons to NOT roleplay with me than I am at actually describing scenery or writing meaningful prose and selling myself to potential roleplay partners, so if my writing is as coherent and cohesive as a chimpanzee throwing shit and people and as stiff and lifeless as a corpse, that's probably why. I can assure you, though, everything I write is aaaaall natural and comes from this mind and these hands, so you don't have to worry about any of my responses being AI. It's just that I get too carried away sometimes and write too much (like I'm doing right now with this ad). It's funny, you would think that roleplaying for almost eight years would improve my writing, but nope, it's still shit. I just write more words and know bigger words now. Anyway, it's okay to write a paragraph or two when it's just our characters are talking or doing everyday things. Just write more than a sentence or some wimpy shit like "shakes my ass and blows up the White House cutely until you notice me senpai UwU." (I'm not gonna lie, the embarrassment I got from writing that is unreal. Excuse me while I purify my eyes with bleach and give my brain a stern talking-to about why it should never make my poor, poor hands write such blasphemy ever again). Give me something to work with, damn it! I want details!
I'm 20 years old, soon to be 21 this year (spooky birthday boy here! 🎃), so I expect you and your characters to at least be 20 or older. NO MINORS ALLOWED!
Now, enough about me. I'd ask about you, but let's save that for when you DM me (if you DM me, that is). Let's set some ground rules and make some things clear. We're getting to the not-so-fun stuff that'll make you grab your pitchforks and torches and raid my house like I'm Victor Frankenstein and just created a monster.
Listen, I'm all for writing some spicy scenes and dirty talk (at least, later on in the roleplay. The spicy scenes, I mean), but I'm not trying to get my character or your character out of their clothes as soon as we start roleplaying. I want character development and an actual relationship between our characters to blossom (with some sexual elements/themes involved, of course), not just mindless, back-to-back sex scenes. There's a difference between ERP and just wanting to beat your meat or slappin' your salmon or whatever you got going on between the Grand Thigh Canyon to some words on a screen (hey, that rhymed! I'm a poet and I didn't even know it). If I want generic porn plots with as much story and substance as the amount of chips you get in a bag of Lays, I would just watch porn/hentai.
Put effort into your introduction. If you have as much energy as that sloth from Zootopia and can't be bothered to tell me what you want and put in your own input and ideas and want to make trying to plan a roleplay with you feel like a chore, then there's an extremely high chance that I'll ignore you and block you and extremely low chance that I'll want to roleplay with you. Like, come on, man, no one's gonna wanna roleplay with someone who just casually says, "Hi," "Okay," or "Yeah" every time they try their best to communicate, while the other person does doesn't even try to give any ideas. It's like getting assigned a group project, but you're the only one in your group that gives half a flying fuck about getting a good/decent grade, while everyone else is just on their phones and not even doing the bare minimum to contribute. You're a human being, not a fucking robot. Don't give me that NPC energy. Sorry for the rant. Just put in effort.
Literate or higher. I'm not asking for a professional author or anything (but that would be a bonus), but please just give me something to work with. Like I said in one of my previous paragraphs, it's okay to write less if our characters aren't doing anything that important.
Have good grammar and punctuation. I'm trying to roleplay with you, not pop a blood vessel while using my one functional braincell to figure out what the hell you're trying to say. I understand that some people have ADHD, dyslexia, or some other learning disability that affects the way they read and write, and some people don't speak English as their first language, so I'm way more forgiving in those cases. I totally understand that! Hell, even I make typos sometimes (there's probably even one somewhere in this post that I probably forgot to fix), so I totally get it. I won't chew you out for making a couple typos as long as I can still understand what you're saying. People can't control the way they were born, and English is a hard language to learn. I'm referring to people who have HORRIFIC grammar, HORRENDOUS reading comprehension (which is ironic, considering they decided to join the one hobby that requires you to read and write), and INCOMPREHENSIBLE spelling that would give an English teacher a heart attack, yet they speak English as their first language and DON'T have any sort of learning disability.
CONTRIBUTE! PROVIDE YOUR OWN IDEAS! Don't make me come up with all the ideas while you just sit there and say, "Okay" to everything. Tell me what you want to include. If I wanted to be the one calling all the shots, I wouldn't even be here, now, would I? I would be writing the next shitty Twilight fanfiction with bisexual angels, flamboyant mafia demons, and demonic strip club owners if my silly ass wasn't hopelessly addicted to constantly trying (and failing miserably) to maintain a single roleplay for more than a few days. Don't make me do all the progression while you just twiddle your thumbs and reply to what my character is saying instead of moving the story forward. You're supposed to play your own character. Write the actions you think they would do, decisions they would make, things that they're feeling/thinking, etc. Roleplaying is a two-player game. I can't be the only one moving things along while you twiddle your thumbs and do nothing. Give me something to work with! I can't get any enjoyment out of a roleplay where I'm the only enthusiastic one, and all my partner has to say is "yeah" and "okay." It's boring! Give me engagement! Give me fuel, give me fire, give me the details I desire!
