People's Rights and Whatnot
Most men I interact with conclude that I am a feminist, even when I haven't aired any opinion on anything. I asked one of my male colleagues to explain why he has placed me in a certain category of women, yet there's nothing in our interaction that grants that conclusion. He said, I just throw the vibe. I seem like an independent woman, who wants to have a career and doesn't need a man.
Like many people I have met, they equate feminism to not needing a man. Or just align it to negativity and toxic women. It is even more surprising when it is a woman with bile towards feminism. It makes me wonder, do they understand feminism at all? Have they ever taken time to learn about it? Or they just enjoy spreading the negativity, another case of throwing women down.
I am not very qualified on the topic of human rights or feminism, but I do hold my own opinions regarding the issue. My first encounter with feminism was through Chimamanda's book "We should all be feminists". I was in college, and I have never had such clarity regarding the issue. Turns out I had been getting information from the wrong places. That day, I declared myself a feminist. I am certain about a couple things: I am not toxic. I believe in humanity and people's welfare.
I came up with a couple questions to test anyone who brings negativity when I am discussing feminism:
If you are in an abusive relationship, or know someone who is in one, would you advise them to leave their male partner? Would you advocate for a shelter for such women who want to start over?
If your male partner asks you to leave your job just because, would you do it? With no resentment although you actually love your job?
If a family decides to educate their second born son and let the first born daughter to drop out of school although they hold similar potential, would you support this? If the parents want to marry her off, is that okay?
If you are talented in your work, but no one listens to you at work, and promotions pass you by and you are seen as a beauty queen, will you smile and move on?
I came to a realization that women who are fast to talk negatively about feminism speak it from a place of privilege. They have never faced any discrimination because of their sex, and they have never seen such issues around them. Thus, they think those talking about feminism are exaggerating things.
It is true that some women use feminism wrongly, and promote toxicity on the subject. Their is always a bad apple. However, when it comes to issues affecting women, like having lactating rooms in offices, or parking spots that are closer to the office for pregnant women, or mentorship for teenage girls who are starting their periods, it is women that drive these conversations. Then some men come in to help because they have women in their lives too. In that context, there is no competition. It is not about who is a better human being. But just fighting for things that these people actually need. Because a lot of women still need help. We cannot stop now just because we are comfortable in our society.
I just want a world where there is as much freedom for women as there is for men to do whatever. Whether or not they do it, is up to them. Let people be free. Let people have opportunities regardless of who they are. If you feel threatened because another group is becoming stronger, just do better in your group.
