Dirk

Am I a fucker that is a nymph or a person who has fucked a nymph? We just don't know.

[12-12-island-with-flying]

[zarglepoetry]

buy here

[unsolve]

[jollysportingbear]

Brook by PicFreak42 on Flickr.

[nymphfuck3r]

I don’t really feel like getting up just yet either.

[nymphfuck3r]

I’m pretty sure I just slept away a good portion of the day.

[essfitcee-deactivated20160425]

Reblog if you believe Sex and Nudity should not be shamed.

[nymphfuck3r]

grodybrody replied to your post:I go get a shower and come back and there is talk...

No!

Why not? We could make a party out of this. 

[nymphfuck3r]

I go get a shower and come back and there is talk of nip sucking on my dash.

[gulesgardener-archive]

im sure people enjoy imagining lets be honest with ourselves for a moment here darlin lets not forget who you are its unbecoming

its one of my many and varied talents 8;P

[nymphfuck3r]

Oh, I have no doubt they enjoy imagining these things, who would blame them? If there’s one thing I never forget, it’s who I am. I just look in the mirror and I don’t think ‘Who is that handsome, beautiful man?’ I immediately think ‘I am such a handsome, beautiful man’. No, that’s a lie actually. I immediately think ‘Damn, I want to bang the hell out of that.’ then the previous thought follows.

I have no doubt you’re a very talented woman. I’d like to see each and every one of those remarkable talents sometime. 

(And on a more serious note, how have you been?)

[emperorevan-deactivated20191211]

How long do you last in bed?

Preferably 8 or 9 hours! Nothing will ready you for the day like a good night sleep

[helmsmanhal]

I’m reassured but being so static doesn’t appeal to me, however my very existance is dependant on change.

Picking favorites is unavoidable and I find it amusing you think I care about people crying. There’s a only a short list of people which I would feel bad if I made them cry and the general public is not on said list. 

[nymphfuck3r]

Each to their own, man. Each to their own. I’m pretty cool with how I am now so change to myself isn’t really a thing that appeals to me.

I find it pretty amusing that you were actually taking those statements seriously. I mean they really weren’t statements meant to be taken seriously and now you’ve ruined the ironic purposes their existence. How are we going to fix this? The problem is we can’t. We can’t fix this now. It’s irreparable. Dammit.

[helmsmanhal]

I highly doubt that but it’s good to see you haven’t changed while you were gone.

I’m also not human so I should be allowed to know.

[nymphfuck3r]

Unlike many things in life, you’ll find that my personality is always a constant. Much like the rest of me, I love my personality and would be crushed if it were to ever change. Rest assured, it will never change.

But then people will accuse me of picking favorites and cry a lot. You don’t want to make a bunch of people cry, do you? 

[gulesgardener-archive]

gasp the delightful scandal of it all man holy shit there on things on that list that i wouldnt even DREAM of attempting geez being a naiad must be wild

well yeah but the enjoyment isnt for them

[nymphfuck3r]

Our lives are the wildest - certainly not for the faintest of hearts or libidos. It’s hard - oh, it’s always hard - but we manage. Offers a suffering sigh. People can only imagine how hard it is all the time. 

Hmm. This is also true. I forgot how good you were at raising valid points, among other things. 

[gulesgardener-archive]

ahhh yes of course how could i forget that lil ol detail im sorry how can i ever face you after that slip up also i demand some details gimme the deets

see there we go then 8;P so lets not overshare the details of our reunion sugar

[nymphfuck3r]

Well - and this may surprise you so you’d better mentally prepare for it - but a lot of my time has been spent in this super luxurious spring in a beautiful forest out in the middle of no where. I’ve mostly been doing *********** and a bit of ************* and a whole fuckin’ lot of ******** **** ***. My brother and I know how to keep busy and perform our duties as naiads after all. Once we finished with the  ********ing we moved on to *************** ******** ****. Then did a little more  ***********. You know how it is.

Alright, alright. But they’ll be missing out in a way. Sure, they’d be jealous but you know they’d enjoy it in their own ways anyhow.

[gulesgardener-archive]

eye roll nymphic duties my ass you were busy fucking around dont even play smh youd better have some cool stories at least tsk

probably but if we invite everyone it isnt me expressing how much i missed you wow

[nymphfuck3r]

That is, in fact, part of my nymphic duties. Playing around is also part of my nymphic duties. I’m a very dutiful man. And I always have cool stories, in fact I never run out of them. All you have to do is ask and I’ll get right down to the dirty details. The dirtiest details.

Dammit, you’re right. Well, I think at this point they’re going to have to learn to just deal with it. Life isn’t always fair. Sometimes you have to wait in line.

[thrihving-deactivated20171121]