Makio and Kasamachi: An Unnamed Relationship
(Spoilers for the manga. Click to see full photos. Image descriptions also include chapter numbers for each image in alternate text.)
The core relationship of Ikoku Nikki is Koudai Makio and Takumi Asa's aunt and niece one. Still, in just 54 chapters, the manga gives wonderful glimpses into a variety of relationships that deviate from the traditional. Makio and Kasamachi Shingo's relationship is one of my favorites.
At the root of their relationship is what Makio repeatedly tells Asa: she and Kasamachi are friends. Kasamachi tells Asa that he and Makio were friends before and after they dated. They enjoy spending time together, and they value each other. How Makio and Kasamachi find a relationship that works for them, one that does not need a name, is both a great exploration of sexuality and romantic orientations (Makio on the aromantic spectrum, in my opinion), as well as being informative for how Makio in particular tackles her relationship with her niece, Asa.
This was a formative romantic relationship for Makio and Kasamachi, both 35 at the beginning of the manga. Having met ten years prior, they were dating for some period in their mid-to-late twenties to early thirties (Chapter 5, Kasamachi says they were still together when Makio bought her apartment six years prior at around 29 years old).
When they were dating, they both hurt each other. Both are harsher to themselves than they are to the other person, blaming themselves for the breakup.
There's evidence of maturity where they can both look at the relationship with more perspective and show neither wanted to jeopardize their friendship or hurt the other. Also, they have arrived at a place where they can admit to things they didn't feel they could when they were still dating.
They can be more honest and forthcoming with each other in a way they probably felt they couldn't when they were dating. With no labels, things also land much better because their mindsets have changed.
I think Makio, in many ways feels that Kasamachi should've been the perfect partner for her, so if she couldn't fit herself into a box then, and she felt sad and not understood by even him, then it only confirms that she doesn't want a traditional romantic relationship or partner. In my view, this places her on the aromantic spectrum.
Kasamachi goes through his own realization as he recognizes that he will not live up to what his father wants of him and maybe what Kasamachi wants doesn't have to be the wife and kids and banker job. Critically, I think while Kasamachi wouldn't mind having the traditional romantic relationship, he doesn't want it more than he wants the standing relationship he has with Makio. It's important to him that Makio doesn't dislike or hate him, but he doesn't need her to see him as her boyfriend/romantic partner.
I believe Makio is entirely sincere when she says that while they were dating, she always thought Kasamachi would marry someone else soon.
I think this is because the implications of exclusively dating and being on the road to marriage don't appear to be something that has ever appealed to Makio. To me, when she always thought Kasamachi would marry someone else, that doesn't indicate she wanted him out of her life, but since she didn't want to marry or feel like they were dating, then naturally, he would eventually be with someone else.
She doesn't feel inclined to do any of the "romantic" things. She doesn't feel the need to introduce each other to their friends and family or to inherently place more importance on their relationship than her other friendships because the core of her and Kasamachi's relationship is a friendship, too.
While Kasamachi doesn't necessarily understand why Makio liked him but didn't truly see them in a romantic relationship and still slept with him, he knows that to some degree, love, affection, and desire, are all there. Just not in the shape society might tell them they should.
Without feeling suffocated about meeting expectations as a romantic partner, triggering Makio's feelings of inadequacy and low self-esteem, they can meet each other where they're at, which is a friendship with sexual and physical intimacy, sometimes romantic inclinations—but who's defining what's romantic and what's platonic, really, and the only definitions that matter to the two of them are what they are comfortable with.
Makio's sexual attraction to Kasamachi is made clear in the manga (Chapters 20, 30).
To me, her romantic and sexual desires only necessitate one sexual partner, but it's not reducing them to a monogamous relationship where they're dating. Romance isn't the priority. One of my favorite aspects of their relationship is that purity culture doesn't dig its claws into their relationship. They don't feel like they have to ignore their physical desires and that means they are sacrificing their friendship. They don't feel ashamed for wanting to have sex with one another. Letting themselves enjoy that aspect of their relationship makes their bond even stronger because neither feels they have to explain themselves to each other. They're still not dating.
A relationship where Makio and Kasamachi operate first and foremost as friends while incorporating interactions that feel right for them. This includes physical intimacy, but this doesn't mean they are romantic partners. They aren't interested in having sex with other people, but they're not dating. They care about each other deeply. They are integrated into each other's lives in a way where they can depend on each other and keep in regular contact, but they're not living together, they aren't raising Asa together. Neither are actively looking for other people, their relationship isn't a pit stop to becoming a "regular couple" again, they're not just fulfilling sexual desires until they find the right person. They are each other's right person for their specific relationship.
They are supporting each other in their own way. It's still love. It's taking the habits and feelings you get from one individual and using them in the way you express comfort and care to another. Makio subconsciously picks up Kasamachi folding Makio into hugs as they sit side by side, taking that feeling of comfort she got from that and using that to comfort Asa, which is more revealing to me about the care she felt and continues to feel in that relationship, no matter what form it takes.
Kasamachi's unique perspective on Makio, and their valued friendship allows Kasamachi to see that their satellite orbits don't need to be in such an overlap as he had originally expected of them when operating under a traditional romantic lens. They're still in each other's orbit. And, not limiting each other to a rigid view on love, romance, and friendship allows both to have a healthier view on love.
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