mémoire de fille

i am a free human being with an independent will 🍂 ▫ triz ▫ 24 ▫ she/her ▫ my ao3 ▫

[oakheartedmuse]

hello there! here you will find a scorpio girl eternally in love with el hopper, lily evans, lucy gray and taylor swift ♡

in this place i basically deposit everything that my old, restless soul can't get out on a daily basis. make yourselves comfortable and join me on this journey! ♡

[laurens-german]

“I meant what I said before. You should be with whoever you want to be. But— I really want that guy to be me.”

Belmont Cameli and Ella Bright as Garrett Graham and Hannah Wells in OFF CAMPUS (2026—)

[oakheartedmuse]

i binge-watched off campus yesterday and just realized i’m a total sucker for the fake dating trope.

like, yes, please, give me the forced proximity, the slow burn, the "there's only one bed" thing, INJECT IT IN MY VEINS, SAVE ME WITH IT!!!!!!!!!!!

[jilyawards]

May

In Love and War (WIP) by Icepen. Rated M.

After a horrible summer before her Seventh Year brings the war to her doorstep, Lily Evans knows one thing for certain-- she will not be safe at Hogwarts anymore. Her position as Head Girl, her new friendship with the Potter heir and the disgraced Black heir, the sudden and tragic murder of her parents all shoves her into a limelight she never wanted. Learning to cope with her grief and her trauma, Lily needs to navigate the treacherous waters of her new situation as the war against people like her escalates in the world she is about to graduate into.

flying lesson (completed, 3.7k) by @allrightevanss1123. Rated G.

lily evans, 11, muggle-born, anxietic as fuck and there's a human megaphone yelling instructions beside her. or james potter, 11, sees the muggle-born girl looking confused during their first flying lesson and decides he needs to help her. because thats what gryffindors do.

stuck here, with you!! (WIP) by @allrightevanss1123. Rated M.

Lily, as the respectable Gryffindor Prefect, had to mentor James Potter in the Hospital Wing for a week because Remus’ ‘sick week’ and Potter’s quidditch accident overlapped together. or James cracked tf outta his skull and heard LETSSS GOOOO

Whoever You Want (WIP) by @allrightevanss1123. Rated M.

​Lily had known him for quite a long time now—James Potter and his weird hair, his desperate jokes, and those horn-rimmed glasses sitting on the bridge of his nose. He couldn’t help but make a fool of himself in front of her every single time. But Lily had never once considered turning him down as "resisting," despite everyone else calling it that, talking about his charm and how cute he acted, how much he fancied her. He was...pretty resistible, really. ​Until he wasn't, at least.

Stone Cold and Rock Hard (completed, 2.4k) by @neverenoughmarauders. Rated T.

Lily let out a breath she didn’t know she’d been holding. ‘James,’ she laughed. ‘When a boy and a girl agree to grab a drink in Hogsmeade, they’re going on a date.’ — Or: James Potter gets undressed and Lily Evans dives into the Black Lake for no reason whatsoever.

The Night Is Over But I'll Still Dance With You (completed, 2.7k) by @gingerqueen0567. Not rated.

Lily is so excited for the prom! Nothing can ruin the night, right?

What's In A Name Anyway? (completed, 2.5k) by @yallthemwitches. Rated T.

“Wait,” he says slowly, his heart somersaulting like it’s been taken for a ride on a broomstick, “A crush on McLauren or me?" Lily shoots him a pitiful look. “Please don’t make me admit I fancy you after basically seeing you naked,” she says bitterly, wiping at her eyes. “I won’t be able to live with myself.”

Second chances (completed, 3.5k) by @vivianjily. Rated M.

James thought he'd made peace with the slow burn of it—becoming Lily's friend, earning back her trust, hoping that eventually she'd see him as more. Then Benjy Fenwick makes her laugh and James realizes he's been fooling himself.

love struck (completed, 3.1k) by @sapphireleo. Rated G.

A love story told in colors of carnations (that he first thought were roses). Ending is kinda angsty. Red. Purple. Blue & White. Pink. More white.

BLAME (completed, 36.7k) by @blitheringmcgonagall. Not rated.

“I take full responsibility for my actions, Sir, I know that you’re going to have to expel me. There is no excuse for what happened. I’m sorry to have to put my parents through this. And Professor McGonagall, I just really wanted to tell her how sorry I am and …” His voice trailed off. Dumbledore’s cold periwinkle eyes regarded him intently, as though engaging in some complicated mental Arithmancy. “If Severus Snape corroborates what you just told me, I’m afraid that is correct, you will be expelled, Mr Potter.” A Marauders What If...? What if James had been blamed for the Prank? What if he got expelled at the end of Fifth Year? What if there was never a Lily Evans and James Potter, Head Boy and Head Girl? If they parted enemies, if they never got together in their final year in Hogwarts? What if the marauders lost James? What then?

Sweet Thing (completed, 5.7k) by @stonecoldhedwig. Rated E.

“Ask me,” he says softly. The room is so quiet, James thinks he can hear the sound of her heartbeat alongside his own. “Tie me up.” **** Or: Lily and James explore that little kink they discovered on Christmas Day.

Operation Love Languages (completed, 5.3k) by @exalthia. Rated T.

“The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate? Moony, what in the name of Merlin’s crusty toenails is this?” asked Sirius, derisively squinting at the cover. “‘Mate,’ is that some werewolf shit?” “I told you, it’s a Muggle book. I think it could help James. Listen, this bloke says there’s five ‘love languages,’ and they’re different ways of showing your love for someone depending on what’s important to them: physical touch, words of affirmation, quality time, gift giving, and acts of service. Our boy has been doing none of these, and look where it’s gotten him. He’s got to woo her.” Love languages, James thought, sounded about as woolly as divination, but if they somehow helped him win Lily over, he’d do anything. He’d even probably attempt to fight the giant squid. Not bare-handed, though, he valued his life, lovelorn as it was. OR—Lily has been unimpressed with James' efforts to win her over, so he tries a new tactic. A Muggle one.

Hard Work (completed, 4.5k) by @feed-the-birdss. Rated T.

Lily Evans is drowning in the effort to belong. James Potter has never had to put effort into anything. Somewhere between broken quills, failed patronus charms, and head duties, they figure out what effort is actually worth.

four a.m. knows all my secrets (completed, 2.6k) by @jilyflowers. Rated E.

They fit together so perfectly, two pieces of a puzzle, a comfortable reminder of what she’s got, rather than what she’s lost. It's a quarter past four in the morning after a rough Order mission, and James and Lily can't sleep.

Ultraviolet (completed, 2k) by @deadlysansa. Rated G.

Emails between Lily and James & co about a missing notebook.

I’ll be Home for Christmas (completed, 4k) by @vagueshadows-fics. Rated E.

I’ll be home for Christmas. The words echo warmly in his mind, a stark contrast to the brutal cold of his present reality. He’d said those words with cavalier confidence mere days ago, his hands on Lily’s waist as he kissed her goodbye on the doorstep of the small cottage they’d moved into only a few weeks ago. He can almost picture her now, cocooned in the safety of their new home — her cheeks flushed from the heat of the kitchen, humming muggle Christmas tunes as she stirs a pot of hot chocolate. The image feels like a beacon of hope in the suffocating cold of this mission. James intends to keep his promise. Or: When a routine reconnaissance mission goes sideways, James is determined to find a way home in time for Christmas

need you like a heartbeat (completed, c500 words) by @oakheartedmuse. Rated G.

"He needed her like a heartbeat and there she was, amusing herself with his suffering." Or, James is sure he's losing his mind, but it's mostly because of the heat and this certain redhead...

Also check out the previous months' lists: January | February | March | April

[loverlupins]

lily evans as a mother

(all pics from pinterest + happy mother’s day <3!)

[loverlupins]

Mornings at the Potters' - 2.6k words, rated t, pre-relationship jily - posted for shirtless james potter may

"There’s a place carved out in this countryside estate just for her — to breathe, to settle, to feel a modicum of normalcy even as the rest of the world’s horrors wait for her outside the perimeter of the wild, and beautiful, grounds.

Or, the one where Lily grows increasingly close with James while she grieves her parents’ deaths."

Read it on ao3!

-

Here is my official contribution to Shirtless James Potter May! I started out with a cute bed-sharing fic idea that turned into my usual: grief, healing, hurt/comfort jily - but this time with shirtless James!

Thank you @shirtlessjamespottermay for making this celebration and inspiring this fic!

[outromoonyy]

Yes, Lily can be a strong, independent woman and still marry a man and take his last name. No, motherhood doesn’t make her any less brilliant or any less herself. I don't like how some people try to police her choices just to force her into some perfect little aesthetic. She didn’t need to reject James just because people decided he “didn’t deserve her” because he did. How do I know that? Because one thing about Lily Evans is that she was incredibly smart. Too smart, too brilliant, and too fiercely opinionated to ever choose someone who didn’t deserve her. She saw that he grew into someone kind, loyal, and brave, and she loved that person. And if you don’t trust her judgment, then you never really respected her intelligence in the first place.

[loverlupins]

jily wedding, peverell, 1979

(all pics from pinterest)

[formerlympp]

"If we do this…” “For all of time, they will say it was our love that brought down a kingdom.”

A story about forbidden lovers, the battle between duty and love, and the cost of betrayal. Inspired by the film Tristan and Isolde.

Read Prologue on AO3

[firelace]

lily & harry

heyyy i finally fully finished an artwork that i like enough to post lmao, this took 3 months to get done cause i had a back injury, i was scared to paint it, i was busy and i procrastinated a lot so yeah! a great way to start 2026 :D

[meowbox18]

remus is the one who always has stomach medicine, ibuprofen, bandaids- whatever you need, because this dude always has something wrong with him

[oakheartedmuse]

life's really a succession of curious things.

one day, you're just living your normal life...

and on the next one you're wide wake at 3 a.m. wondering at which chapter lily is going to stop being so oblivious and admit that she's down bad for that DAMN POTTER BOY–

[loverlupins]

james potter at peverell, 1976

(ft. marauders and fleamia)

(all pics from pinterest)

[loverlupins]

lily evans in cokeworth, 1976

(all pics from pinterest)

[jilyyall]

Confessions on the Quidditch Pitch

James Potter is a right fool, but Lily Evans knows just what to do with him. Rated T, 3.8k, Seventh Year Jily, Matching Patronuses, Defining the relationship. | AO3 |

14 November 1978  Hogwarts Quidditch Pitch 08:37pm

Lily Evans was no stranger to a Gryffindor quidditch practice. One of her roommates and dearest friends was one of the Chasers, after all, and had been for three years now. Lily had accompanied Marlene to many a quidditch practice in the years leading up to her time on the team and had continued to sit in the stands and watch the players fly and dive and shoot and play at least once a week even after Marlene had made the team. It was a good way to pass the time; Lily enjoyed watching quidditch as much as the average Gryffindor. More, even, since she had been fascinated by the graceful way her classmates were able to move through the air since she was a wee little firstie with barely any knowledge of the wizarding world. 

So when the players started to trickle out of the locker room after practice, their brooms over their shoulders, no one paid her much mind as she waited on the edge of the pitch. They nodded and greeted her as they passed, and kept on walking up to the castle. Except for Marlene, who cocked her head as she approached Lily. 

“Hey, Lily!” Her eyes were bright, her cheeks flushed, hair windswept. She looked beautiful and lively. She always did, really, but Marlene’s beauty was always elevated when she got off the pitch. “What are you doing down here?” 

Lily shrugged. She usually stayed up in the stands until Marlene was already headed off the pitch and met her near the path back up to the school. Tonight was different. “Just waiting around.” 

“Oh.” Marlene frowned. “Did I take too long? I’m sorry. We can head in for dinner now.” 

“Actually,” Lily said, wrapping her arms around herself against the bitter cold. She had her red and gold striped scarf wrapped around her neck and her heaviest cloak on and she had done a Warming Charm not even half an hour ago, but she was still freezing. “I wanted to talk to James.” 

“Oh,” Marlene said again, and there was a knowing glint in her eyes now. “Well, alright then. But he might be a while. He likes to fly a bit longer after the rest of us head in.” 

“Yeah,” Lily said, glancing past Marlene to the lone figure high in the sky. “I know he does.” 

Marlene studied her for a moment longer, and then sighed. “Here, take my cloak as well since you’re determined to freeze yourself over a stupid boy.” 

“As if it’s my fault I don’t like girls,” Lily grumbled, but gratefully accepted the cloak Marlene draped over her shoulders. 

“Actually, I’m glad for that,” Marlene said with a cheeky wink. “I’d hate to be in competition with you.” 

“No one could ever hope to compete with you.” Lily batted her lashes flirtatiously at her best friend. 

“Too right.” Marlene flipped her long blonde hair over her shoulder – it would have had a much more majestic effect, Lily knew, were it not in a tangled plait down her back – and then shivered violently. “Merlin, I’m heading in before I freeze to death. See you.” 

“Bye, Mar,” Lily said. “Save me some treacle tarts, will you?” 

Marlene lifted one hand in the air in acknowledgement as she jogged off, leaving Lily alone with the flyer high above her. Eyeing him, she wandered out on the pitch until she was standing in the center, in the exact spot he stood before each match when Madam Hooch made him clasp hands with the opposing team’s captain. 

He was flying in lazy circles over the stands, but every now and then he would put on a burst of speed or wheel around in a sharp turn. She loved the rush of adrenaline she got herself when he randomly dived, streaking for the ground at the end of the pitch as if he were a Seeker and had spotted the snitch, and she knew the rush she got paled in comparison to his. He really was a fantastic flyer. When they were younger she had resented him for it. Now, she admired him. 

She was a fair flyer herself, but she wasn’t on the same level as him. She would be hard-pressed to name a better flyer in the entire school. Madam Hooch herself likely couldn’t outfly him. 

“How long do you plan to pretend you don’t know I’m here?” she called out to him when he dived again and feinted inches from the ground, careening back up into the sky. 

He was grinning when he turned his broom to face her. “Please, I’ve been showing off for you the whole time.”

She felt herself smile back, felt her cheeks flush when he drifted toward her. “You could have at least said hello.” 

“Maybe I wanted to see how long you were planning to wait for me,” he shot back. 

“As long as it took you,” she told him. 

He hovered in place less than a foot from her, legs bent with the tips of his toes almost brushing the dirt floor so that they were exactly at the same eye-level. 

“You fancy me or something, Evans?” he taunted, but his eyes were soft and fond. 

“Shut up, Potter.” She scoffed and rolled her eyes. “As if you’re not the one who’s been pining for me since third year.” 

“Second, actually,” he corrected shamelessly, tone completely matter-of-fact. “You just caught on in third because I asked you out. Couldn’t figure what to ask you to do as a twelve-year-old who wasn’t allowed on Hogsmeade weekends yet.” 

“I’m surprised you never asked me to watch you fly,” Lily said haughtily. 

“Didn’t need to,” he said with a laugh. “You were always here with Marlene anyway.” 

She hummed. He was right. Even back then, when she had thought he was arrogant and annoying, she had loved to watch him in the air. She hadn’t come with Marlene only for him, but he was a big reason.

“You look cold,” he said when a violent shiver wracked her body. “We should head in.” 

“No,” Lily protested, stepping up to his broom and laying a hand over his to stop him from dismounting. An all-too-familiar glint flashed in his eyes when they met hers. Her stomach flipped pleasantly. “Take me up.” 

“It’s colder up there, Lily,” he said softly. 

“You look warm enough,” she observed. It was mostly the adrenaline, she knew, that kept him warm when he was flying. But he also ran hot. She knew that as well. His loose ties, rolled up shirtsleeves, and penchant for not buttoning his shirts up to the collar until being scolded by a professor – usually McGonagall – weren’t just a lesser form of rebellion; he overheated easily. 

He looked skeptical, but didn’t move to stop her when she swung a leg over his broom. He smirked when she did it so that they were face-to-face, though. 

“Normally people face the handle when they fly,” he teased. 

“Oops,” she said carelessly, matching his smirk when she slid her arms under his flying jacket and pulled herself closer to him. He jolted and gripped the handle tighter, a bit caught off guard, when she kicked off for him. 

“Lily!” he admonished, his mouth close to her ear when he had regained control of his broom. 

“What?” she asked innocently, pulling her head back to blink at him. “Can’t handle it?” 

“You know I can,” he said, and she felt his arms tighten around her as they started to rise higher. 

“I know you can,” she agreed, and pressed her cold face to his warm neck. He hissed and flinched, only a little, as they glided through the air. After a few peaceful moments, she broke the silence in a whisper of breath against his throat. “Why did you do it?” 

“Do what?” he murmured. 

She pulled her head back so she could look him in the face. “Why did you pretend you can’t produce a corporeal Patronus?” 

Professor Binns had mentioned Azkaban prison in their History of Magic lesson first thing in the morning, and the awful soul-sucking dementors that guarded it. Emmeline Vance, a friend and roommate of Lily and Marlene’s had asked how to defend against a soul-sucking demon and Professor Binns had mentioned the Patronus Charm before droning on about the history of the prison. When they had made it to Defense Against the Dark Arts a little later, Marlene had managed to completely derail Professor Bickett’s planned lesson on selkies in favour of an impromptu lesson on the Patronus Charm. 

“Maybe I wasn’t pretending,” he hedged. 

Lily rolled her eyes. “I heard you bragging to the boys about how you’d already done it before class.” 

“So you caught me grandstanding.” He shrugged and leaned slightly to guide them into a gentle turn. “Wouldn't be the first time.”

He was right. It wouldn’t be the first time. But saying she’d caught him when she was walking hand-in-hand with him when he’d said it was certainly a choice; she knew he was withholding information. “James.”

“Lily.” He mocked her serious tone, but she refused to allow herself to be baited into an argument simply because he didn’t want to come clean. 

“I know you. I know when you’re lying-bragging and when you’re truthfully bragging.” She met his gaze resolutely, pleading with her eyes for him to tell her the truth. “You’ve produced a Patronus before.”

He looked away, out into the rapidly darkening sky and swallowed hard. “Maybe I was nervous.”

She scoffed. “You don’t get nervous.”

“That’s not true, Lily.” He sounded almost offended. “You’ve seen me nervous plenty. You’re usually the one making me nervous.” 

“Not nervous enough to completely choke,” she insisted. “You don’t get performance anxiety. In fact, when you’re nervous you normally perform even better than you otherwise would.” Hell, the first time he had truly, earnestly snogged her he had been a trembling mess and completely rocked her world out on her bedroom terrace when her parents thought he had already gone home. “Why did you lie in front of  the whole class?” 

“I didn’t want to take away from your moment,” he admitted. 

“My what?” Lily stared at him horrified. 

She had been the first one to produce a fully corporeal Patronus when Professor Bickett called them up to the front of the class one at a time to make their attempt, but there had only been two people called up before her, and they had each managed at least the cool, silver wispy shadows that would eventually, with enough practice, become corporeal. The swell of pride Lily had felt when the silver deer had burst from the tip of her wand to canter around the room the second time she said the incantation had not been dimmed by Remus’s success, or Sirius’s, or Dorcas’s later on in the lesson. It would not have been dimmed by his.

“What, do you think yours is that much cooler than mine?” she demanded, offended. It wasn’t as intimidating as Sirius’s huge dog had been, or Remus’s wolf which he had swiftly vanished after producing it, but her little deer had been pretty and sweet and had made her smile. “I love deer!” 

“No, no! That’s not what I meant!” James shook his head feverishly, something akin to panic flashing in his eyes at the thought he might offend her. “Your Patronus was magnificent. I loved it. But, well…it wasn’t just a deer. Lily, it was a doe.” 

Lily frowned and narrowed her eyes on him. “James, a doe is a deer.” 

“I know!” he exclaimed, and the broom jerked to a halt so they were hovering a hundred or so feet off the ground. “But it’s not just a deer. Lily, it’s a female deer.” 

Lily stared at him, slightly concerned for his mental state. 

“Yes,” she said slowly. “It is.”

“Your Patronus is a female deer,” he said weakly, but then the words began to rush out of him in an almost pleading tone. “And I didn’t want to go after you and make you uncomfortable or make you think I was trying to steal your thunder or make your accomplishments somehow about me or…overwhelm you or anything because…” 

“Because?” she prompted, but something in the abject terror on his face made her suspect. Her heart thundered in her chest; her blood sang in her ears. 

“Your Patronus is a doe,” he said softly, almost tremulously. “And mine is a…” 

He paused again, and she couldn’t take it. She couldn’t wait. She knew. She hadn’t seen it yet because he had pretended he wasn’t capable, but she knew. 

“I thought of you,” she said when he took too long to tell her, because she was a Gryffindor, but she was still a seventeen year old girl and she was too nervous to take this particular admission from him. 

“You what?” he asked, shaking his head, bemused by the apparent subject change. 

“Professor Bickett said we had to think of our happiest memories to achieve it,” Lily said, forcing herself to hold eye contact. “I thought of you. I mean, not only. Marlene was there a bit, and my parents, but I thought of you a lot. Last year, when you kissed me for the first time in that empty compartment on the Hogwarts Express right before we reached the station, and when you showed up at my house over summer and shook my dad’s hand and let my mum bully you into having dinner with them, when you snuck away from the boys in Diagon Alley and pulled me away from my parents and snogged me behind Madam Malkin’s, and when you…” 

He cut her off with a heated kiss, one hand lifting from the handle of his broom to cup her cheek. Slowly, slowly, they began to drift back down to the pitch. 

“A stag,” he breathed against her mouth when their feet brushed the dirt a moment later. “My Patronus is a stag, and I didn’t want the fact that we’re soulmates to become the main focus of the entire class because  I’m bloody in love with you and I wanted you to have your moment.” 

The word soulmates shot a thrilling shock through her body. She remembered what Professor Bickett had said, of course, as the lesson had been only a few hours ago.

The Patronus is the embodiment of the caster’s soul. Sometimes, when the connection between two people is strong enough, when their souls are mated, their Patronuses will reflect that fact in a similarly mated pair. 

“I’m bloody in love with you, too,” Lily told him, chilled hands gripping his waist beneath his warm jacket. 

“Lily,” James said, cradling her face in both of his hands. “Being as we’re soulmates and we’re in love and all, will you be my girlfriend?” 

Lily smiled and nodded, then laughed at his goofy grin and pressed herself tight against him. 

They’d had a rough start of things back in first year and she hadn’t been his biggest fan for a while, and then he had asked her out to Hogsmeade in third year and she had rather unkindly turned him down. Then in fourth year they had formed a tentative sort of almost-friendship when she had grown closer with Remus, and they had had their ups and downs for a couple of years. But last year had been a good one for them.

They had been friends – truly friends – since very early on in the school year after he had earnestly apologized to her for his part in the awful row they had had at the end of fifth year, and he had begun to shamelessly flirt with her when they had returned from Christmas holidays. He had even shared his broomstick with her a few times after practice, with her actually facing the proper direction. She had waited months for him to finally ask her out again for the first time since the third year disaster, but he never had. She had been heartsick over him as the year had drawn to a close, had driven Marlene mad with her yearning for him and had all but resigned herself to a life of pining for him alone with a pride of cats when he had quietly pulled her away from their friends using the snack trolley as an excuse and had kissed her soft and sweet and shy and asked if she wouldn’t mind if he wrote her over the summer. 

They had exchanged countless letters, sometimes two in a single day – his poor owl – and he had come round her house and met her parents after only two weeks of letters, and had come back a few days later, and a few days after that, and then again, and again until her parents began to ask why he wasn’t around if he took too long to turn up. Her mother was half in love with him herself, and her father liked him a whole lot, so much so that they had both pretended not to notice that she had clearly just had the daylights snogged out of her when she and James returned to them in Diagon Alley after lying that they were going to say a quick hello to some friends. 

Then they had returned to Hogwarts for their seventh year, and they were both the Head students and he still hadn’t asked her out. They still talked all the time, and flirted, and he still pulled her aside for private moments and sweet kisses and heated snogs, and on Hogsmeade weekends they were always together, but usually with a group. He never kissed her in front of anyone else, though. Not even their friends. 

Marlene half believed Lily was lying about all their snogging. 

Remus and Peter acted like nothing was different. Even Sirius never mentioned it, making her wonder if James hadn’t even told his best friends. 

But. 

He clearly cared for her. Deeply. Even before she knew he was in love with her, she had known he cared deeply for her. 

And when she had asked him about it just a few nights ago when they were alone in the Prefect common room tidying up after a meeting, he had been completely reasonable with his answer. 

He didn’t realize she wanted people to know. 

Not their friends, of course. Their friends knew. Hell, he had admitted that he had told the boys what he had planned for her on the Hogwarts Express the night before they boarded the train home. The boys all knew he had spent the majority of his summer with her. They simply pretended not to know because James had thrown an absolute fit and sworn he would make their lives hell if they ruined this for him. 

But everyone else who had thought she hated him for years. He had been holding himself back from her for fear of her discomfort with the entire school suddenly realizing she didn’t hate him. 

She had told him he was a right fool for that, and had taken his hand in hers in the corridor on the way back to Gryffindor Tower, and he had fixed her a plate of food when she was running late for breakfast yesterday morning, and she had sat right next to him, squeezing into a non-existent space between him and Sirius that had Sirius shooting her an affronted, disgruntled, sleepy glare as he moved over to make room for her. He had taken her hand in the corridors between classes, had carried her books for her, had made a point of waiting for her at the door after the one class they didn’t share. He had even stayed in the library with her until closing time last night when she had been nervously revising for their Charms exam. 

He still hadn’t kissed her in public yet. 

“I’d better get you inside and fed before you freeze to death,” James said. “Being a good boyfriend and all.” 

“I’m perfectly cozy right here, the besotted girlfriend I am.” She snuggled closer to him, protesting when he shifted so his feet were flat against the ground and bearing some of their weight. 

“You may be cozy, but my ass is sore after three hours on a broomstick,” he complained, but she could hear the grin in his voice. 

“Your ass is fine, Potter,” she said, pointedly checking it out as they dismounted together. 

“You’re insatiable, Evans,” he teased, but he turned and walked ahead of her in silent invitation for her to continue staring. 

She laughed and caught up to him quickly, slipping her hand into his in a now-familiar move as he lifted his broom over his other shoulder. 

Before they made it off the pitch, she pulled him to a halt. “Wait. Will you do me a favour?” 

“What is it?” he asked. 

“I want to see your Patronus,” she told him and suddenly, now that she had said it aloud, she was absolutely desperate to see it. 

He looked at her for a moment, and then silently reached for his wand in the inner pocket of his flight jacket. Pointing it at the center of the pitch, he said, “Expecto Patronum,” and a brilliant, majestic, beautiful, massive stag with high, symmetrical, many-pointed antlers erupted from his wand. Its movements were sure and powerful as it cantered around the pitch. 

Awestruck, Lily drew her own wand. “Expecto Patronum.”

Her Patronus, a pretty little regal doe half the size of his stag, met his in the middle of the pitch. They circled each other for a moment, and then the stag went still, and the doe nuzzled against him, their long necks meeting in a sort of embrace. 

Lily let out a shaky breath. “Thank you.” 

“I feel like I should thank you,” he said, eyes brighter and perhaps a bit damper than normal. “But I’ll just say you’re welcome.” 

“Smart man,” Lily murmured, and kissed his cheek. “Come on, you’re right, I am freezing.” 

They turned again to leave the pitch and behind them, their Patronuses lingered for a brief moment standing together in the evening light before they silently faded away. 

“One more favour?” she asked as they made it into the blessedly warm castle and headed toward the Great Hall for dinner. 

“Anything,” he promised. 

“When you wallop Ravenclaw on Saturday, will you snog the living hell out of me right there in front of the whole school?” 

He stopped in his tracks and turned to stare at her. She met his eyes with a steady gaze. The grin that spread across his face was quick, and wide, and ecstatic. 

“Yeah, I think I can make that happen.” 

__________ I posted this on AO3 the other day, and posted a snippet of it here. I was in a rush to get to work and I was trying something new, but I couldn't help myself. I had to post the whole thing here as well. It's engrained in me.

[oakheartedmuse]

missing my boy (james potter) specially hard today (he's not even real) hope he's doing okay <3 (he's very much passed away)

[dirklp]

kill love 🔫💗