re: that last post about risking embarrassment not being a risk at all, because the only people who are worth building connection with value vulnerability and don't judge people for it
it does not account for circumstances where you have no choice but to depend on people who you don't trust emotionally
autonomy is fundamental to emotional safety. autonomy grants us the ability to choose who to depend on, and to view relationships as governed by choice
and autonomy requires resources. they allow movement, which allows for exposure to different people if needed. resources create an independent safety net, which reduces forced dependency
those resources are also psychological and emotional - autonomy requires the ability to think for oneself, the ability to say no, to go against the grain, to tolerate the possibility of being disliked, and remembering that choices exist even in circumstances where they aren't presented as such - choosing to "fail", making a decision other people might not understand
for the most part we are all deprived of autonomy as children, and then that deprivation of autonomy is moderated as we become adults, depending on various circumstances (gender, disability, culture, class and wealth)
i reblogged the post because i agreed with it, and at the same time, the ability to choose who we are in relationship with is hard won. that freedom of choice can also be undermined by forces outside of our control. anything that strips away autonomy strips away the choice of who to relate to and who to depend on
turnnoffyourmind
snowghoul
jacobvanloon
2087
dailybridgerton
gracieabrams
