– – the silence that stretches between them is almost UNBEARABLE. Of course, Rose Tyler is no fool. Things were bound to be different this time… Here she was older, perhapswiser, at the very least with a wider scope of the universe since they’d first met. Time, in its ceaseless habits, stretched out hopelessly between them and all of their usual chatter and laughter seemed to have fallen into its chasm.
Still, here she was – alive and well – BACK WHERE SHE BELONGED. Very much safe, all thanks to him, as rather the usual. Her fingers twitched, arm muscles tense, as if ready to tug him into a hug… But holding herself back.
Was it worry? Or… Fear, perhaps?
❝ … all right. ❞ Rose answered, a short response, coupled with a nervous tug of a bottom lip between teeth, brittle skin rubbed raw, and a slow shift of a foot to move her closer to him. Anything to soothe the distance between them… After all this time, something felt so WRONGabout leaving any air between the two of them. The Doctor and Rose Tyler. As it should be.
❝ …and you? ❞
‘ Okay, ’ Yet his voice betrayed him, numb was more true, numb to all other feeling than anger that haunted him yet every second that he spend with her a bit of his old self seemed to shift back, wanting to care for her, longing for her. Fear started to creep in, despite all there was an ache for love yet returning that, she didn’t have to.
He was retreated, preferred time alone to learn what to do with the feelings, anger clouding his mind and rage fuelling every action, these feelings he tried to repress as best as he could, ignore as though they didn’t exist but they did and he became more aware of what monster he could turn into, fighting his own nature could destroy him, accepting it could ruin the universe. ‘ I’ve been better, and worse. ’
Sadness? Lust ? Desire ? He didn’t know, he did know he wanted to love her unconditionally like he had, both a friend and a lover where conflicts could be talked about and love was intimate without anything sexual. Yet with who he was now, there was a high doubt it would ever happen again. ‘ I was wondering... ’