Some of the good parts of mental health recovery:
This post is not to brag, be preachy or overly positive and I really hope it doesn’t come off that way. It is just a list of some of the good things I have come across so far. I hope it will inspire and serve as a reminder to me and all who need it that even on bad days choosing recovery is worth it. I hope these are helpful.
There will be good days, and they will be more frequent than they had been before.
There will still be struggles of course, but it will also get easier to recognize and not dismiss small victories, nice feelings, and pleasant events.
As time goes on you’ll have more energy, the energy you didn’t have before, the energy that you can use to live.
For me, this meant I started writing again. It had been probably well over two years since I had sat all day and wrote, completely enthralled. It didn’t happen all at once but the difference was undeniable. You start remembering and enjoying your hobbies and passions again.
You start to feel clearer.
Personally, I had a point in my journey that I couldn’t read anything too long because of my focus and brain fog. I will never forget the day I picked up a new book and dove right in after what felt like forever.
I know this sounds weird but I remember one of the things that I realized about 6 weeks into treatment was that I laughed easier.
Music begins to sound better again, and not just the sad or angry playlists.
I remember driving and hearing a song I had loved at a good time in my life and thinking “why don’t I listen to this kind of thing anymore. I liked how it sounded and how it made me feel and since then I have majorly expanded my Spotify. Now I will admit I still have my angst playlists and still listen to them, but that’s not all I can stand anymore.
Eventually, thinking about the future doesn’t fill you with dread.
I won’t lie it started as indifference then morbid curiosity with me, but now I am finding that I’m starting to want to start my own life.
You learn what’s really important to you.
This process can be exhausting, annoying and sorta awful at times. But in even the worst moment you’ll learn what is important to you, and what motivates you. For me, it was wanting to make the world better, to tell me stories and to make a family that I know I can trust and who loves me (turns out it may be a partner and a ton of cats). Finding these is empowering and liberating.
Empathy and an amazing sense of understanding.
When you go through this process it is one of the hardest things you can do, but you come out of it knowing so much more. It allows you to understand yourself, others and the world better. This means you can inspire yourself and others, tell your stories, and spread awareness.
You get to know yourself.
Okay so at the start and honestly through a lot of my life that sentence would have filled me with dread. But let me explain. Something that surprised me was that this process exposed my motivations, fears, ambitions and the traits that truly make me who I am as a human being. Now not all of it was pretty, and I won’t say all I learned was pleasant. But I also got to know the good. I uncovered that I was kind, funny and loyal and that those traits were as much a part of me as anything else.
Like holy crap, this was actually something I had never been able to do. In general, I would sit in distress until I either hit “I don’t care anymore” or was too exhausted to think. But after lots of practice, and some rough days and nights I actually managed to calm myself down without self-destruction or harmful actions. It was terrifying but one of the most amazing things ever.
You eventually see physical improvements.
After months or years on “running on empty” I had grown kind of accustomed to permanent dark circles, pale grey hued skin, shedding hair and constant exhaustion (now a couple of those were because of some chronic illnesses going mostly untreated) but I was pretty surprised that I started to feel even a little better. (I’m not saying treat your anxiety and you’ll never feel bad, be in pain or get acne again. But for me removing stress made my bad pain days and ofter debilitating symptoms seem a lot more manageable because I recognized things more.
A higher level of emotional fluency.
I have always struggled with identifying and coping with my emotions, but with my overall mental health on the upswing, I have become better at labeling and accepting my feelings. This isn’t foolproof yet, of course, but it certainly has made it a lot better.
You start to be more comfortable with your needs
I call this “troubleshooting”. I get a feeling ™ then go through the list until I figure it out or improve it. I still struggle to rest when needed but I am much better than the time in my life when I went to class/work with one of the worst migraines of my life. Meeting at least physical needs becomes like watering a plant, necessary even if it’s not all that enjoyable.
Things seem less daunting, whether it be school, laundry, or taking a shower.
Now once again I’m excluding my bad pain/flare days. But on days when spoons are sufficient or at least not critically low, I find that maintaining my room, hygiene and meal plan (anorexia recovery necessity) seem much more doable. I am also I lot less hard on myself on rough days when I can’t do the “normal” routine/tasks.
I know as well as anyone how much this process sucks sometimes. I still have plenty of struggles and bad days, but I thought it was really important for me, and others going through their own journeys. The point of this post is to remind everyone going through this process that there are benefits even when you are a while from finished (like I am). This is still worth it, even as hard as it is. There is so much more to life than struggle, even if you haven’t experienced that yet. I didn’t think I would ever get this far alive, let alone preparing to start my own life. What I guess I am trying to say is, that as much as it is hard to believe recovery is possible and better than it seems, for everyone, even if you’ve spent your life so far convinced it wasn’t. Keep fighting, this is possible and you are not alone.
Feel free to reblog and add your own positives!
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