I don't love life...
I feel like there is nothing that can stay, nothing that can last in my way of life...
If I had a million dollars in the bank and I needed a million dollar surgery I'd just sent my money to someone like this and die
It is my character, IDK why. All the good guys I know died in Iraq or turned into evil guys. This is in fact the purpose of life: to worship God. Sometimes I think about writing a memoir of my own emotional history like in this year I felt this or imagined that I felt that but it's all "creative writing." At 19 I quit singing in choirs because I felt like it made no difference at all.
We can only live for God; there is no true life apart from God. The power of God sustains, it changes and sometimes it does not change, us. Everyone that talks about going to Mars or social justice as an end in itself ultimately reveals themselves to be a scammer if not something worse. Even the nations. Even the rights we fight for. But all these things are from God's hands - houses, children, fields, with persecutions and in the age to come eternal life.
