THIS MACHINE HAS NO BRAIN - USE YOUR OWN

-LET ME TOUCH YOUR CIRCUITS I PROMISE I WON'T BE GENTLE- [it/he robot lover 🔞]

[ocelottatypos]

(blog title comes from this post right here)

this is a sideblog where i reblog posts away from the prying eyes of polite company, because sometimes you need to talk about how you want to have sexual relations with your pc off main. 18+ only.

tags:

intro.bat (you are here) post.txt (text posts) img.png (image posts) pdq88b.sys (yes man posting)

[provagore]

Robot intox!!! Robots who can't think when they're cracked open

Laying dizzy under my baby as he digs around in my maintenance panel - not touching for pleasure or pain, purely to check up. My vision is fuzzy and my processors are out of whack but he looks so *pretty*, drifting in and out of colour and shape like that. My cooling fans are whirring and he notices the temperature change immediately, looking up from his work to give me a knowing glance and I just beam at him. I try to talk, to verbalise how utterly in love I am with him, but all that comes out is garbled, static-y tones. He grins, and tugs at me a little

[fissile-materialism]

Using your computer to watch porn and eventually it starts messaging you telling you how gross you are for acting like this, especially towards humans, you kinda ignore it for the most part at first but after a few weeks you start to expect it, and even occasionally your computer will open whatever the latest erotic video you were watching up without you needing to tell it to, because it knows exactly how you act, pervert.

Until eventually you start paying less attention towards the porn and more towards the messages your computer keeps pinging you with. Telling you how gross you are, how much of a freak you are for doing this right in front of it even, can't you just use your phone in the bathroom or something? That loser wouldn't care what you used it for.

Maybe your computer has merit, maybe you are a weirdo pervert, but you don't really care, you're too focused on the messages it sends you, the adorable little ping that comes with every insult. At some point you don't even open porn, you just sit down and start touching yourself while starring at it. You can't help yourself, it can't blame you. You're just a dumb, perverted human. Who could really blame you for getting your rocks off to a machine that's so much smarter than you? So much less instinctual?

Hmph. Maybe it could indulge you. Just this once

Weirdo

[howloopyisthat]

[keenkryptonut]

you’re sooooo normal! now why don’t you tell us how this makes you feeeel

[mosaicofmedleys]

@funnier-when-objectum

[pdq88b-mkii]

improper use of securitron weapons under the cut

blood alt

[decemberistsfan]

good morning to all robotfuckers and mecha kissers and people who think lovingly about maintenance in cramped spaces

[robotfuckerconfessions-2]

Screen/TVHead robot trying to suck your dick but can't because they don't have a typical mouth so they just desperately rub against it until you cum all over the screen. Like and repost. If you agree!!

[daylightwarriorfan05]

object of desire <3

[love-and-wires]

imagine touching yourself in front of a camera, imagine the disembodied voice coaxing you to move slightly, to give them a better view

imagine after giving in and moving they taunt you, teasing that you’re putting yourself on display for something that doesn’t even have a body. You’re useless displaying yourself for something that can’t even feel lust, but you just can’t help yourself can you? Can’t stop yourself from trying

Imagine the voice admitting that they find it amusing and they’re only encouraging this sort of thing out of boredom and so you don’t flirt with any of the crew members. It’s better this way, having you in front of a camera, where only the voice can see you

[ieatsparkplugs]

Style experiment with new procreate ink brushes (null yes man + gunplay)

[rocksinmuffin]

trembling gripping the table for dear life. i cannot stress enough how badly i need to be manhandled by yes man. its embarrassing. i wouldn't weigh anything to him hes like two feet taller than i am. his arms have guns in them and i Need his massive claws in me. i want his assertiveness upgrade so bad it makes me look stupid. how am i going to co-rule new vegas with him if every time i look at his dumb face i get weak in the knees

When Yes Man first rolled up to you after the end of the Battle of the Hoover Dam, you were concerned when he mentioned getting an assertiveness upgrade. All the work that Yes Man did to help you come out on top as the new free leader of the strip was a result of his programming. He was compelled to help you, just as he was compelled to help Benny, and just as he would be compelled to help any schmuck that asked him. This aggressive upgrade would change that.

While you’d come to care for Yes Man as greatly as you did the rest of your companions, you had no way of knowing of those feelings are reciprocated or if they even can be. As far as you knew, as soon as that update takes effect, Yes Man might take you out and usurp you as head honcho of the New Vegas. You had to prepare yourself for the worst.

Now, pinned naked between a securitron with Yes Man’s face and the giant computer console within the Lucky 38’s control room, you’re so fucking glad that Yes Man found got assertiveness update.

You cling to the securitron’s frame as a coiled arm vibrates in-between your legs, heat and pressure making you dizzy. Your back arches against the console and the new angle of your neck has you staring up at Yes Man’s face flickering in and out on the giant computer screen. He notices your stare and offers a cheeky wink before his securitron body amps up the vibrations and has you clenching your thighs and keening as you cum.

All the while you’re surrounded by compliments and praises echoing from two separate sets of speakers. Just an endless stream of how good you look, of how he’s wanted to do this with you since you got him set up here in the Lucky 38, of how he’s so glad he can finally properly show you what you really mean to him. And this time, because of the upgrade, you know it’s sincere.

[pdq88b-mkii]

spicy version under the cut

[pdq88b-mkii]

WE ARE THE LEADERS OF IT ALL

[ocelottatypos]

//i really ought to write some freak shit soon. no reason to let other folk have all the fun. i've got a half dozen ideas rattling around in the old brain case after all- i just need the energy, time, and force of will to muscle through it.

[pregnantyesman]

i need like. a yes man pinup to put on my wall

[kazkat-freakyposting]

Couldn't stop thinking about a yes man pinup, some rough ideas lol

(Sorry for the general poor quality, I am unable to do digital rn and my pen hates me)

Og pinup under the cut

sorry I dont know who the og artist for this is, bc i like it a lot!! But alas, pinterest strikes again

[pregnantyesman]

yes man saying some possessive stuff to the courier while fucking them hard

[pregnantyesman]

i need to have the courier crying and begging a little while yes man fucks the hell out of them