@octillion

I stood still, vision blurring, and in that moment, I heard my heart break. It was a small, clean sound, like the snapping of a flower's stem.

[octillion]

[octillion]

Nothing wrong with big feelings

🥰

[octillion]

I’ve always wanted to live on my own.

My own

Always wanted my own.

Sometimes when I feel like this

When I feel like this

My teenage self

I sit a while

Because she felt the most

And it’s nice to visit an old friend.

An old friend

[psykopaths]

Breathless (1983)

[aidashakur]

Handle me like I’m something you prayed for.

[octillion]

[octillion]

I’m 31 tomorrow. I’ve had tumblr since I was 14 years old. I still feel 14, most days. But also so far away from my 14 year old self.

She was so cool. She felt things so deeply and so hypocritically. I was a child but felt so much more than my age.

I used to lie about my age, I’d tell everyone I was older. Tried to act older but definitely was not older than my 14 year old self.

I had braces.

Now I feel my body age and ache, my mind lose the creativity that once spilled out of me.

All I care about is bills, having babies, how much fuel is in my car, and punctuation.

What I’d give to go back and just…observe her one more time. Once more, before I lose myself again.

But I can’t go back - for she is me and I am her.

[thealphabetbythem]

[octillion]

You detach and treat them horribly as punishment for making you so unhappy

Why can’t I just leave

Why drag it out

This happened with the last one

Never fully recovered

And still doesn’t learn

I break them because they broke me

I break them so Atleast they can leave

I’m still chained to the wall of each one that has left

12 years of bricks holding me here

Trapped with the baggage

[octillion]

Someone convince me into dyeing my hair like this, please.

[octillion]

Not sure if you'll ever read this but you are so god damn beautiful

Sending love x

[octillion]

just another day of missing your risque tumblr posts <3

Risqué isn’t in my vocabulary at 30

[lovegilded-deactivated20210406]

Do you have any kinks?

That second sleep after you’ve woken up too early

[heavenhillgirl]

[oozins]

[octillion]

Oh you beautiful woman😍

Why do compliments from strangers hit differently 😘

[theblob1958]

people are saying do it scared, but you also gotta do it alone. you'll miss out on so much you want to do if you wait til someone will do it with you. do it scared and do it alone.