in a cocoon

Boo Bodily age: 24 sentient being They/them

[oddityfauna]

Hi, we are called Boo…This is my/our mainblog

Bodily:24

Pronouns : They/Them but also open to most pronouns

mixed

Non-Binary/pangender/agender(depending on who’s front)(it’s confusing but it’s the best explanation currently)

Diagnosed AuDHD & DID (we do support researched self diagnoses)(disabled body)

Uses “We” a lot

If under 18 pls don’t follow because I don’t want you to possibly be exposed to topics you aren’t ready for yet…if you are blocked it’s most likely for your safety

We aren’t very comfortable with discourse but we will share some experiences that might be related to discourse topics and about sharing our perspectives

We generally try to look at nuance for many things cause people and life are complex

I will block you: ableist against any disability , any terf/swerf/truscum, pro/neutral contact paras, racists…also if you are against complex and nuanced gender experiences

The 2026 update: well I’m back and better and worse simultaneously 🥳

Tw for so much but mostly sh and csa memories 😞

[oddityfauna]

I wish it was you

Your hands having never touched me makes me cry

We never got to gaze into each other or hug or hold

I feel like I’m not allowed to have a these feelings for this to be a heartbreak because we always had a screen and too many miles between us

Some said we couldn’t love each other sometimes I wonder if you really did love me the way I do you despite our distance

I know you don’t understand when you talk to me as a friend my body starts hurting and screaming or else you wouldn’t have spoke to me again and the conflicting feelings are insane I never wanted to leave you I wish my body and heart could withstand the time you can’t talk and the lack of touch but I can’t

Maybe I’m hopeless I feel selfish yearning but I wanted you to be the first hands to touch me that wasn’t an abuser

My first real kiss they never kissed me and I wanted my first kiss to be you and your beautiful full lips that are so kind and understanding and safe

[oddityfauna]

Screaming into the void of this account 😭

My body is screaming for something it can’t have you can’t give and my body is screaming and it won’t stop I started to love you but we’re separated states and screens and I thought you loved me too I gave you so much and you don’t love me the way I started to love you maybe it’s the distance between and you know you can’t give me what I need I tried to runaway but I couldn’t help but stay will we ever really meet I don’t want to use apps to try and fulfill these messy feelings inside me I hope I will stop loving you so I can be free I want to love somebody who loves the way I do

My hearts too big I love too easy

A fool

[oddityfauna]

Listening to vacillator while it feels like my chest is being pryed open cause my situationship is doing difficult to describe things to my brain and emotions

[oddityfauna]

I regret letting fear win and not getting phallo because now I’m in dysphoric hell on the edge of self harming fir the first time in years

Being multi gender makes the process more complicated and I accidentally pushed myself into a corner

[oddityfauna]

I have no where anymore

I feel so suicidal and dysphoric and misunderstood

The only person I feel like I could open up to has seemed distant and I also don’t want to ruin my valentines present I’ve been planning for them because I’m depressing dysphoric

[oddityfauna]

Feeling really dysphoric and stupid and everyone misunderstands

[oddityfauna]

I miss it here I'm apparently too weird and a freak for other places like I had a really positive realization and it's deffo niche and out of the box but it makes me feel better about surgery scars and now it's all tainted I hate that about myself that, that thing that happens to me how something so pure and joyous can be ripped from me so easily

I think it's possibly rejection sensitive dysphoria T^T

[oddityfauna]

So currently this platform isn't easily accessible to me anymore, so I'll probably be not on often

but to those who've helped me thank you so much!!!

[oddityfauna]

I gave up due to cis ideals

I was on the path to my last gender affirming surgery and I got lost due to a few reasons but the main one was I ignored my own feelings and invalidated them due to fear mainly I got too caught up in cis ideals

thoughts that I couldn't honor my feminine and woman aspects if I fully honored my masc and man aspects that if I had this dysphoria relieving surgery I'd destroy my ability to be fully fem and woman or for the lesbian alters to be happy which isn't true all of these feelings came from cis ideals of what a woman has to be

My dysphoria isn't from because I'm missing what a cis man has but that I'm missing a part that would fulfill connection of and for intimacy the part I want doesn't have gender but I was pushing the gendered ideal/ideas onto myself

I'm very sad cause now I might not be able to have this surgery for a long time, if ever and that I invalidated myself/ourselves on an unfair cis narrative of what I'm supposed to be

I can't control if others accept me or that I haven't seen someone like me but that can't be why I decide how to be happy

[oddityfauna]

I'm deeply depressed about this and disappointed in myself and I'm scared of my feelings I'm scared about the others disagreeing even though I can feel/hear them saying they don't and that they understand and agree

shapeshifting being impossible has got to be one of the biggest tragedies for our body

I don't even know how to cope with this

[oddityfauna]

I gave up due to cis ideals

I was on the path to my last gender affirming surgery and I got lost due to a few reasons but the main one was I ignored my own feelings and invalidated them due to fear mainly I got too caught up in cis ideals

thoughts that I couldn't honor my feminine and woman aspects if I fully honored my masc and man aspects that if I had this dysphoria relieving surgery I'd destroy my ability to be fully fem and woman or for the lesbian alters to be happy which isn't true all of these feelings came from cis ideals of what a woman has to be

My dysphoria isn't from because I'm missing what a cis man has but that I'm missing a part that would fulfill connection of and for intimacy the part I want doesn't have gender but I was pushing the gendered ideal/ideas onto myself

I'm very sad cause now I might not be able to have this surgery for a long time, if ever and that I invalidated myself/ourselves on an unfair cis narrative of what I'm supposed to be

I can't control if others accept me or that I haven't seen someone like me but that can't be why I decide how to be happy

[oddityfauna]

Wow for the first time in years we’ve found someone very attractive/alluring that are kinda a peer and it’s making us depressed we’ve got too many conflicting upsetting feelings about ourselves and that we can’t handle even a friendship and it just makes us feel like we’ll never have the ability to have interpersonal relationships when we are having such a roller coaster of emotions at just the prompt of approaching someone

The new meds that it seems like we need to switch already is making all this amplified

We’ve made our prison for like a decade and I’m like my own captor and prisoner

Why can’t I just have some normal positive experiences besides substance use

[oddityfauna]

So sad and socially awkward I feel like even other autistics think poorly of me

It’s like I have no one

I’m so lonely and sad

[oddityfauna]

Idk if it’s cause I’m a csa survivor or what but it’s concerning how “purity” or like anti sex so many people in my generation are like unless someone or something real and sentient is getting hurt I don’t think it’s probably an issue like ofc there is nuance to some of this but I just keep seeing such weird takes on things that are just not an issue especially compared to the real stuff that people like me have been through

[oddityfauna]

I’m so over ppl blowing things out of proportion that aren’t hurting anyone

🙄

[oddityfauna]

I wonder what I’d be doing rn if I wasn’t disabled

Kinda sad rn

[thefluxsystem]

The distrust. The paranoia. The intense self-loathing. The endless nightmares that you can never quite remember when you open your eyes.

The constant fear. The body pains. The headaches. The random shaking. The exhaustion. The detachment. Emotions that you do not actually feel.

The masking. The pretending. The hiding. The loneliness, and the chronic lack thereof. The indecision. The mental paralysis. The out-of-body experiences.

We don’t talk about DID, not truly.